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Unread 03-30-2015, 08:26 PM   #101
lostdog
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good job SecretTiger, you are doing well, I'm glad you enjoyed the show. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing, have a nice evening.
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Unread 03-31-2015, 10:18 AM   #102
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Good afternoon Secret Tiger. Bright blessings to you.

I am so glad things are working out, and day by day you are managing this journey into sobriety.

I can not tell you how much this pissed me off.......(but it saved my life at the time)......and now i am what, as Susie callas herself an old "f**T", not only did it save my sorry arse then, it continues every day to do so.

"Think through the first drink"

Thank you R Lee.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you Secret Tiger
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Unread 04-09-2015, 10:07 AM   #103
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Hi everyone,

Things haven't been going great. I went out and got drunk the other day. I realize I haven't been addressing the underlying issues, so I've spent the last few days doing exactly that.

I've sought counselling for depression and possible bipolar disorder (waiting for the results, but the doctor says it's likely). I'm trying to be positive, but it's been a rough few days. Really rough.

I really don't want medication but, on the bright side, that will mean I can't drink. I'm taking a few days off work to calm down a bit and to steer clear of triggers to drink.

I could really do with your support right now.
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Unread 04-09-2015, 10:50 AM   #104
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SecretTiger, it's wonderful that you are getting a diagnosis for whatever may be the underlying issues and that you are receiving counseling. Please don't rule out medication if that is what the medical professionals prescribe. That is what medication is for, to help when one needs it to address an illness or a medical situation. Listen to the professionals. That's one step toward freedom from your pain.

I found that when I decided I didn't want alcohol in my life anymore that first I had to analyze reasons I was drinking. I was using it to socialize, to ease pain or loneliness, to feel good, or mask depression (although it's a depressant and just made things worse). Once I came to a place that I knew that indulging in regular drinking wasn't good for my health and well-being, I was better equipped to stand back from the activity of drinking and address all the many reasons I should stop. That worked for me. I believe knowing the whys and why-fores of anything in our lives helps us do what needs to be done.

You have much support here, SecretTiger. Please know there is care here. You are in my thoughts as you go through this difficult time. Have a safe and sober day, and take this one day at a time as you address issues. We're here and we care!
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Unread 04-09-2015, 11:09 AM   #105
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Hello i have BPD and bipolar and take three kinds of medication. I couldnt cope with anything or do anything if i didnt take my meds, please consider starting some if that is what is recommended. If you want to ask me anything, please do i would be very happy to help if i can x
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Unread 04-09-2015, 12:36 PM   #106
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SecretTiger,

I've heard it said that all alcoholics are a little crazy, or they wouldn't have a problem with alcohol! I know I am. I guess it's just a matter of degree. I have been on anti-depressants, anti-anxiety drugs, been to counseling, etc., etc., etc.

I am off of everything now except an occasional xanax for anxiety. I had to work on personal issues and make amends to some folks and to myself. I still cannot meditate worth a damn. I do work at analyzing my behavior and feelings and trying to admit and correct when I am wrong.

It sure is humbling, isn't it? Don't kick yourself for being human. Today is a new day. We are here to support you. By supporting you, we help ourselves and each other stay sober.

Susie
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Unread 04-09-2015, 01:04 PM   #107
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Hi SecretTiger, it takes a lot to be accountable, hope you feel better soon, You are very valued here, much support and good wishes for you!
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Unread 04-09-2015, 01:48 PM   #108
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Hi SecretTiger.

I'm sorry the past few days have been rough. Today is new. I hope you can find the help you need. Keep looking and asking for help.

And thank you for coming back here for support!
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Unread 04-09-2015, 02:13 PM   #109
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Secret Tiger,
Good to see you back! Sorry you are going through a tough time but you are doing the right thing seeking help. Please let us know how things are going day to day.

Saint
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Unread 04-09-2015, 03:11 PM   #110
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SecretTiger, Glad you are back here. I take medication for depression how it is prescribed & I'm good with it.

While drinking I ignored the warning do not take the medicine with alcohol. Like everything else I did what I wanted no matter the warning.

Stay in today & think through that 1st drink.
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Unread 04-27-2015, 11:01 AM   #111
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Hi everybody,

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been working through some things and, as I do so, more things seem to be popping up!

I hadn't really realized how much I'd been bottling up, and I have to say it's both scary and cathartic to address it all. I'm still kind of 'in retreat' while I work through everything and it's helping a great deal. Still a few demons to address, which I'll address one at a time, one day at a time.

I'm so thankful for the support you've all given me. The words of R.Lee, Saint, Susie, Jen, iamtrying, Tryn, lostdog and everybody else ring in my ears and give me strength.

Love to you all.

Last edited by SecretTiger; 04-27-2015 at 11:05 AM..
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Unread 04-27-2015, 11:28 AM   #112
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Welcome back, SecretTiger. Good to hear from you.
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Unread 04-27-2015, 11:47 AM   #113
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SecretTiger, Think through that 1st drink.
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Unread 04-27-2015, 12:17 PM   #114
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Hi and I missed you. Hope you are getting along well and sorting things out, I have been doing that myself. You deserve a good life and so glad you posted.
take care and best wishes with hugs.
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Unread 04-27-2015, 01:39 PM   #115
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Really great to see you here SecretTiger and you are so brave to be working through those demons. I'm sure that all of us here have them (I'm sure everyone in the world does!) and it takes real courage and presence of mind to work through them.
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Unread 04-27-2015, 02:19 PM   #116
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Hi Secret Tiger!

So good to see you back. I believe that we all have our "demons". Anyone who says that he/she drank to cover up a perfect life is a big liar. When we stop self-medicating, in my opinion, these issues are just as glaring as they always have been, but we are no longer hiding them with alcohol (or drugs, or food, or gambling, or shopping, or whatever else).

No matter what it is that you are working through, you can, and will, get through it and the great news is that you do not have to drink over it. I am grateful today that I do not have to drink over things like I used to feel like I "had" to. What a blessing! I will keep you in prayer. Jenm
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Unread 04-27-2015, 11:11 PM   #117
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'Demons' within us through the path that takes us along each year of our journey is a given. The human condition is one wrought with pain, strife, and change that isn't always welcome. Life is hard. As I tell my students, if anyone tells you life is easy, that person is lying. We must accept that each breath opens us to pain; however, we must open our spirits to joy! It is our charge to find the joy that lurks within the pain. It can be found. We have to search.
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Unread 04-28-2015, 05:40 AM   #118
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Secret tiger,
Welcome back! So good to hear from you and happy to hear you are working on yourself. Yes it can be overwhelming but perhaps with support we can help lighten your load.

Again, glad to have you back!!

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Unread 04-29-2015, 12:22 PM   #119
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Secrettiger - you are very smart, but alcohol always tries to outsmart...I am glad you are trying ...welcome back...as you know there is no judgement here...we care...we slip, we fall, we dust and we keep moving..

have a good day friend.
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Unread 04-29-2015, 01:50 PM   #120
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Good evening Secret Tiger. Bright blessings to you.

I have found that self awareness is not the same as self awakening. I wish you strength on your journey....just 1 favour for a fellow in Blighty?......

Don't leave us again?

Hugs from across the ocean.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you Secret Tiger
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Unread 04-29-2015, 03:24 PM   #121
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Hi SecretTiger. Hope you're well today. Glad you're back.
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Unread 05-19-2015, 11:29 AM   #122
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Secret Tiger,

When we help support others it also helps us. It keeps us from forgetting who and what we are, where we have been. Thank you for giving back and supporting others here, you've been missed!

Regards,
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Unread 06-29-2015, 12:27 PM   #123
SecretTiger
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Quick update: I've been struggling and, yeah, I've been drinking.

I haven't drunk anywhere near as much as I used to, but it's still not nice to say I have drunk. I'm working through things.

When I joined this group (or family, I should say) I was at a massive low and full of ideals. I think we probably all are/were. I've come to realize that it's not easy and it takes time. Not just the alcohol, but the problems the alcohol masks.

I'm going to make an effort to check in more. One moment at a time, one day at a time.

Love to you all. ST
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Unread 06-29-2015, 02:42 PM   #124
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SecretTiger,

They say stopping drinking is the easy part. Yes dealing with the issues on why we choose to self medicate with alcohol is the hard part. Be easy on yourself, forgive yourself, learn about yourself and work at it. Sobriety is a journey and it is a journey of self discovery. I found instead of changing the world to meet my needs I needed to learn to be respectful of others idea's and thoughts. Once I got out of myself, forgave myself, accepted myself for who I am today I was able to let go to a large degree and move on. There is no right or wrong as long as your intentions are pure. We are in control of our destinies as long as we stay sober..... Just my perspective.

I will leave you with some unsolicited advice. Think sobriety. We move towards and become that which we think about. If we truly desire sobriety we will find ways to make it so.

I wish you well on your journey. As always we are here for you.

Peace,
Saint
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Unread 06-29-2015, 02:46 PM   #125
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Thanks for checking in, SecretTiger, and I'm so sorry you've been struggling. Looking forward to more posts from you.
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Unread 06-29-2015, 06:53 PM   #126
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SecretTiger, Thanks for checking in.
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Unread 06-29-2015, 07:23 PM   #127
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SecretTiger so glad to hear from you and so glad you are ok. Hope each day gets a little better for you. I missed your positive posts and you.
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Unread 06-30-2015, 04:09 AM   #128
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Always good to see you have posted ST, happy you will be around more

Thinking of you and sending peace xx
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Unread 07-01-2015, 08:54 PM   #129
SecretTiger
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Thanks for the good wishes, everybody.

I'm taking everything one step at a time - exercising, resting, meditating and focusing on the present.

I hope you're all well.
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Unread 07-01-2015, 09:47 PM   #130
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Sounds like a great approach SecretTiger. Have a great evening.
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Unread 07-02-2015, 02:01 PM   #131
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Hi SecretTiger...great job in starting over again...it's never bad idea to startover and try from another angle...no matter what the result is you have to make up your decision to stop drinking...take one step at a time....I think you had your fill...time to reconcile yourself and move on....but in soberness trust me you enjoy life more than that of drunkness...what I am saying is soberness is not bad at all....it is better in every aspect...

One day at a time friend...that's all it takes...

have a great day..peace.
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Unread 07-08-2015, 08:20 PM   #132
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SecretTiger, I am wandering how you are doing, check in and hoping to hear from you. I hope YOU are doing well and each day is bright and peaceful for you.
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Unread 07-09-2015, 12:51 PM   #133
SecretTiger
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I f***ed up. I drank and now I'm in danger of losing my business, my home, my family and my friends.
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Unread 07-09-2015, 01:11 PM   #134
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I'm going to leave advice to the wiser and more experienced folks for now, but I hope you will seek help, and we are certainly here for you.

Do you feel like telling us more?
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Unread 07-09-2015, 02:24 PM   #135
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SecretTiger, I screwed up many times. I haven't even got out what happened to me, but I got help and went away a few days. You just need support and we can help you too. Relax, be gentle with yourself and press on. .y thoughts and support are with you. Much luv and HUGS!
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Unread 07-09-2015, 03:19 PM   #136
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And your life Secrettiger. Start over never quit guitting. You are worth it.
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Unread 07-09-2015, 09:41 PM   #137
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Have you hit your bottom or will you continue to drink?
You can get sober and straighten out your life when you decide it is the most important thing in your life.

We're here for you. Believe in yourself. You are worth it.

Peace,
Saint
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Unread 07-10-2015, 12:18 PM   #138
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Thanks, everyone.

I've hit rock bottom so many times I can't count it. I want to follow the brilliant example of my good friend iamtrying and check in every day. I need that goal and motivation. As I've said, and others have said, this great family inspires me.

Thank you.
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Unread 07-10-2015, 11:25 PM   #139
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SecretTiger, iamtrying is a great example of how it is done. He has done this simple thing from the beginning.
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Unread 07-11-2015, 12:08 AM   #140
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Thanks Rlee and Secrettiger...I am just another recovering alcoholic...vigilant all the time and I am trying all the time...one day at a time.

SecretTiger, sorry to hear what happened, Not everything is lost though. I would suggest to make up your mind and stop drinking. Which is the first step towards solving all other problems...from my analysis i have seen that most if not all problems are somehow related or connected or originated from drinking alcohol. If you sit quietly and think thru and trace back to the root cause most of the time it lands up at a point of getting that first drink and getting drunk...and then rest of the episode follows.

I am by no means expert in advising but I would suggest a simple thing - to be honest to yourself and make a pact with yourself not to drink and be committed. It is easier said than done. I am still vigilant and afraid that I may relapse. But I take that as a good warning for myself and try to come here and make sure I remind myself of what I want.

Hope things will turn out well for you. Make sure you have a good plan to rectify or recover from what has happened and take one issue at hand and solve. Most importantly, stop drinking it will only make situation worse.

Again, you know all this but this is the best 2 cents I could share. Lastly, nothing new but this is what I remind myself.

"One day at a time, I am responsible for my actions and their consequences, think thru the first drink and urge...relax and focus"..

you need to build equity of soberness in yourself without cashing it out...and build it one day at a time.

Keep posting, stay positive and take care friend...things will be alright...
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Unread 07-12-2015, 06:22 AM   #141
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Hi all,

Thank you for you kind words.

Iamtrying - thank you! That means a lot.

Working things out one thing at a time, taking it easy, thinking through the urges and going for a kind of 'focused detachment', if that makes any sense.

Take care, everyone.
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Unread 07-12-2015, 01:30 PM   #142
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SecretTiger, That is how it is done. Congratulations & have a great day!
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Unread 07-12-2015, 03:23 PM   #143
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Secret Tiger, how are you today? xx
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Unread 07-12-2015, 11:45 PM   #144
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I'm okay, taking things steady and not trying to keep myself busy to take my mind off drinking.

That might sound strange, but it's what I've done before and it doesn't work for me. I need to be more mindful of what's happening and deal with the urges and other issues in my life as and when they need dealing with.
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Unread 07-13-2015, 10:09 AM   #145
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Hi and good morning SecretTiger, have a good day and keep up the good work. I hope to support you everyday if you need it.
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Unread 07-13-2015, 10:46 AM   #146
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Good job SecretTiger. Have a nice day.
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Unread 07-15-2015, 12:55 PM   #147
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Hope things going well Secrettiger....have a good day
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Unread 07-15-2015, 01:09 PM   #148
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How are you, SecretTiger?
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Unread 07-15-2015, 08:20 PM   #149
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miss talking to you ST. Let us know how you are, good or bad, we care xx
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Unread 07-16-2015, 10:40 AM   #150
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Hey ST how are you, post when you can, Miss ya!!
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