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Unread 08-11-2014, 08:29 AM   #1
lisastrick
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Post what to do when my family doesn't support you

Hello i am a 34 yr old addict and alcoholic. I started drinking at 25 while doing meth, i haven't done meth since mothers day 2006 but i haven't been able to stop drinking. I finally realized about 5 yrs ago that i AM an alcoholic. I have stopped drinking and started quite a few times, changed what i drank and cut back, all typical of an alcoholic but i struggle very hard daily. My biggest challenge at the moment is when i stop drinking i lose a lot of weight and my parents, brothers, aunts, uncles and cousins start accusing and thinking I am on meth. Most of it is my mother that loves drama and she calls child protective services. I have had the Sherrif. Bang on the door at 11 pm saying that our son called his grandparen ts. Screaming. And crying, then hung up. He was playing a board game at his friends house across the street. I was so embarrassed when the cops went over and asked to look around their house. I feel like my mother wants me to fail so she can get attention. In some sick munchhousen syndrome mentality. She is even friends with my sister in law now and they have literally hated each other for over 16 yrs ( their dislike for each other had nothing to do with my husband and i's relationship). I feel very abandoned., hur and like they really want me to fail. I have been very sad and fighting harder not to drink. Along with all this my husband I. Is fighting stage 4 cancer.
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Unread 08-11-2014, 11:18 AM   #2
lisastrick
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In the earlier post i meant to say when my kids go to our relatives they talk bad about us to the kids and amongst themselves but well within earshot of my kids. I feel like they want me to fail. At least my mom does anyways
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Unread 08-11-2014, 02:03 PM   #3
michaelc232
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Lisa, hello and welcome! You have a lot on your plate right now. With all of this stress and heartache you are going to have to take this one day at a time, and try and focus on the positive. Your mother is obviously an attention craver, so I would stay away from her as much as possible. I'm so sorry to hear about your husband... Please keep coming back and let us know how you are. God bless.

Michael
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Unread 08-11-2014, 04:29 PM   #4
Saint
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lisastrick,

Welcome!

Let me say how sorry I am to hear of your husband's health situation and all the other stress in your life. It's a lot for a person to bear but alcohol will just make the situation worse. Our history with addiction destroys trust with those in our lives and it is up to us to work to regain that trust. We have no control over how others act or react to us but we can control how we think and feel. Sobriety is something you/ we, all need to work on and is a process as is reestablishing trust with our loved ones. I would suggest letting your family members know you are working your sobriety and need their support. Do you have others in your life you can confide in, support you in your sobriety?

Thank you for posting here. We all can relate to your struggle for sobriety so know you are not alone. Feel free to come here and vent, share your thoughts and feelings.

Regards,
Saint
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Unread 08-11-2014, 05:08 PM   #5
R. Lee
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lisastrick, Welcome to this site.

I like you could not stop drinking on my own so I drank for 42 years before I found sobriety through a support system of other recovering alcoholics. I have a sponsor & other phone numbers to call before I pick up that 1st drink.

It sound like you have a lot on your plate. I am sorry that your husband is so sick. Try remember if you drink you will be no use to anyone.

Ignore your mother for the time being. She is just toxic in your attempt to stop drinking.

My best to you. Think through that next urge to drink.
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Unread 08-20-2014, 05:53 PM   #6
lisastrick
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Angry just checking in

Just checking in. Things are about the same, only now I have people i haven't heard from in awhile calling or texting out of the blue "just seeing how we are doing". My butt!. I am so tired of the cowards i have to call family!!!
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Unread 08-20-2014, 09:22 PM   #7
R. Lee
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lisastrick, Thanks for checking in. When you say things are about the same I wonder if your are drinking.

Try & let go of the harsh feelings you have for your family. Giving them space in your head hinders you getting sober.

I hope your husband is pain free from his cancer.

My best to you.
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Unread 03-21-2015, 08:26 AM   #8
Perkinstein
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hi, lisastrick just stay positive and think positive. don't loose hope.
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Unread 03-21-2015, 08:52 AM   #9
lostdog
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Welcome and bless you as you go through your daily life. Keep posting and much support to you. We are listening and care.
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Unread 03-21-2015, 12:57 PM   #10
R. Lee
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Perkinstein, Welcome to the site. I see you have posted several post on others forums supporting them. Tell us more about yourself. Thanks for the support.
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Unread 03-22-2015, 12:58 AM   #11
gmasusie
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Why don't you start your own thread, Perkinstein. We would like to know more about you.

Susie
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Unread 03-24-2015, 03:17 AM   #12
MarvinC
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knowing that your family doesn't support you makes you feel stress, don't know where to seek help and makes you feel miserable. but there are still people Out there waiting for you just like Alcohol Rehabilitation Program Services
that has a program that gives you encouragement and will to live. they also have treatment to treat your addiction problem. just like what perkinstein said don't loose hope.
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Unread 03-24-2015, 09:26 AM   #13
DianeC
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I am so sorry to read of all the issues and unhappiness you are experiencing in your life, Lisa. You, indeed, have a lot to deal with right now. I will share with you this: sometimes our own families can be our worst stressors. I have a theory that many people who struggle with addictions are coping with one or more family members who are not on their side and might, in fact, be more like an enemy. I have family members who hold so much sibling rivalry toward me that this has caused them to literally hate me and wish for bad things to happen to me and around me. Any success I know infuriates them. They want me to fail. I came to place I had to dismiss this and them. I'm not saying you should necessarily remove anyone from your life, but I am saying that each of us has to evaluate who to be near or with whom to communicate on any regular basis. I hope for you to come to a place you can disregard any negativity surrounding you. Concentrate on healing and getting to a place you can live one day at a time in your sobriety. May blessings come your way as you get on track to a healthier lifestyle in which you are living each day individually with a mindset of living well and happily . . . . ONE day at a time...
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Unread 06-16-2015, 12:32 AM   #14
lw
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I feel sorry for you, but know that I am with you in this. I am an ex-alcoholic, and I can understand what it feels to be like to not have support from your family members. Let us leave all that out for now.

I am sorry if this para sounds preachy, but please trust me and follow through. The first step you need to take is to UNDERSTAND that you are an alcoholic, and that you need to get over it. Read that sentence again.

The next step is to get professional help. You have absolutely no need to suffer alone if you can get all sorts of help. The carving and urge to consume liquor CAN be controlled with drugs. Find a good rehab clinic nearby. If you are anywhere in Canada, Canada Rehab Reviews ( http://www.canadarehabreviews.com ) might help. Find a good addiction treatment program that suits you, and just walk in there. There will be a consultant physician there who can help you out, in whatever stage of alcoholism you are.

I had a very bad addiction problem too, and had to go through rehab for 3 months in an addiction treatment program in Calgary, Canada. I had a number of friends who were very supportive though- my buddies from my AA group. AA is short for Alcoholics anonymous. They are support groups for people recovering from addiction of all sorts. Just google for AA groups in an area, or take a look at http://www.aa.org, which is our official local resources page. We are with you too, all the way.
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