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Unread 10-21-2008, 08:55 PM   #1
angie21
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Hi everyone~ my name is angie and today it is one month of sobriety for me. i am new to this site and would just like to say thank you in advance for making it possible to have access 24/7 to release things about my alcoholism and my struggles. i'm not quite sure how the site works yet so if there are any tips please let me know
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Unread 10-22-2008, 09:51 AM   #2
CarlyO
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Hi Angie, Welcome to the forum and congrats on 1 month ! : )
I will be back in while and give you some tips, the forum is very user -friendly and has lots of caring people , but I wanted to welcome you here. Be back in a few.

Again, Congrats ! Carly
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Unread 10-22-2008, 10:48 AM   #3
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angie21, congratulations on one month. That's a great accomplishment.

Here's my story.
http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...ad.php?t=18957

I'm 10 months without drinking. I did the vivitrol shot and intense counseling to find out why I drank. I do have to say that I've never felt better. At peace with myself. No temptations to go 'out'. Made amends where I felt necessary. Life is good.

The forum is pretty easy. Just post what you want. Help people where you can if you want. Giving back is a big part for me. I come here when I can and try to help. It's full circle for me.

Good to 'meet' you.

You can do this.

JaneDoe
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Unread 10-22-2008, 11:55 AM   #4
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Hi Angie,

Glad you found us and read JaneDoe's story- very inspirational as well as others here. The forum is easy to navigate, check out the educational materials and let us know if you have any questions.

If you do not mind me asking, how did you do it - get your month that is ? Did you detox under medical supervision? Are you having any cravings?
I ask because we have many people who read and maybe are not ready to make that first step. It is by no means required, only if you feel like sharing. Glad to read that you have support and like your meetings. It gets better and easier, it takes work - but it is so worth it. : )

keep us posted and take care, Carly
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Unread 10-23-2008, 05:58 PM   #5
angie21
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Thank you both for responding. To be honest CarlyO, the only reason I have a little over a month of sobriety this time is because of A.A. Meetings. I first found out I was an alcoholic last July actually; went to rehab and all that jazz, stayed sober for a little while then thought I had it under control and started off slow, but relapsed several times until this last time on Sept 19th. I decided to have a shot which led to more shots, which led to a couple beers, then some good old home-made long island ice teas some of my guy friends made. Well I woke up the next morning in the same clothes that I was wearing the day before and in my own bed, Thank God, only to realize that I had once again blacked out like many other times when I used to drink regularly. I faced my parents and they said either I find somewhere else to live or I start going back to AA meetings, well I chose the meetings and I thank God everyday for that relapse because AA, I found is what I really need. Well along with my doctor and great therapist of course... But yea thats the short story that brought me to this site. Hope to hear from anyone soon, I'm open to any questions or advice anyone has..I'm here to talk and listen.
Thanks!
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Unread 10-23-2008, 06:49 PM   #6
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Thanks for sharing your story Angie. I know everyone has to find what works for them and for you it sounds like AA, counseling are helping you - that is great! You are lucky to have supportive parents, I am sure it was not easy for them to give the ultimatum - but it got you where you needed to be.

My story is a bit similar, back in 95, my family cut me out of their lives and I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. So, I had one more chance and I did everything that I was told to do, which did involve AA and counseling- both gave me a foundation to learn to live on life's times terms.
( That being said, I know AA is not for everyone, there are many other types of support groups out there, medications to help with cravings, but we are lucky that there are so many options these days. I think whatever you can do that works, go for it. )

As far as suggestions, it is worth it imo- even though my first year was hard work in some aspects - it was still fun - I met a good group of friends, recovery was #1 priority. What you do now will give a solid foundation for the future. And most of all - stay away from places that serve alcohol, at least until you have time under your belt. IMO.

So Angie, keep up the good work, you will be so glad you did this ! Take care, Carly
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Unread 10-23-2008, 07:21 PM   #7
angie21
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Thanks for sharing CarlyO! It's important for me to hear about people who have done it, or "continuing to do it" I should say... It really helps me to remember that I can do it, and that I will be much happier in the end when I do have more sobriety "under-my-belt" like you said. I understand that it's going to get harder before it gets better, but this time, unlike every other time I've tried to get sober, I have faith in my Higher Power AND myself that I can do it. Also I do recognize the tools that are before me that I need to take advantage of if I want to succeed in my sobriety. Hopefully, my alcoholic mind doesn't take over and if there are signs of it coming back, I can resist and either call someone and if I can't do that, go to a meeting, or come on this site and just let my fingers type whatever comes out... It has helped thus far Well thanks for taking an interest in me, hope to share with you again soon.
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Unread 10-25-2008, 05:53 AM   #8
CarlyO
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Hi Angie, Just checking in on you , hope all is going well. Do you have meetings to go to this weekend? Maybe check out a speaker meeting, I always liked hearing how people were able to pick themselved up from the depths of hel*. Have you met people that you want to hang out wuth yet? That helps a lot - keeps the mind busy and the cravings and lonliness at bay. Oh and it is a lot cheaper than going to a bar and drinking : )

Hang in there, Carly
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Unread 10-25-2008, 09:26 PM   #9
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Hi Angie - I just read my post and the horrible spelling !! - I do not have spell check as I am typing - I apologize for not editing and checking my spelling. : )

Anyway- I hope you are ok and having a great weekend ! Hang in there- it is so worth it ! Carly
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Unread 10-25-2008, 11:28 PM   #10
angie21
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Hey CarlyO, I actually just got home from a Halloween Party that was hosted by someone in A.A. It was nice I mean it was weird, because it was the first party I had ever been at that didn't have any alcohol or drugs, but I still had fun! I met new people and was out of my comfort zone, but that's what I need right now, because my old comfort zone was around people who use. So I'm proud of myself for going and letting myself experience something different and was open to it so I ended up having a very good time. I have two meetings tomorrow to go to, so that will be good. But thank you for asking...how is your weekend? Hope you're well. Talk to you soon!
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Unread 10-26-2008, 01:49 PM   #11
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Hi Angie,
Good for you going to that party! I know, I know, LOL , I am laughing because I do remember how weird it felt at first, awkward, kind of like butterflies and nervous, but it does get easier. People used to say take the body the mind will follow, I found it to be true.
I just kept going to meetings and taking suggestions and one day things clicked. People got to know me and before I knew it , I had good friends, who some of which I am still in contact with all these years later !

I was also in counseling, which helped me deal with issues that I was hesitant to deal with in meetings, I found it to be a combo. for me. I think you are doing an incredible job, keep up the great work and glad you are keeping an open mind! Thanks for asking- my weekend has been busy, but busy is good for me : )
Take care - Carly
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Unread 10-29-2008, 10:04 PM   #12
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Hi Angie,
Hope all is going well with you. Carly
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Unread 10-30-2008, 10:34 PM   #13
angie21
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Hi Carly, Thanks for checking in with me Things are still going pretty well with me right now. I'm trying to figure out my medication with my doctor right now and it's not working right, but I'm hopeful that we will find a combination that works for me soon. Other than that I've just been working & going to meetings.
How are you doing? Staying busy still?
Take Care~Angie
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Unread 10-30-2008, 11:45 PM   #14
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Hi Angie, Good to hear that all is going well ! I hope you get the meds worked out, I know sometimes it takes a while, but you sound great ! Keep doing what you are doing! It gets easier each day.
Thanks for asking about me- I am doing ok, had a few issues, but honestly, in the scheme of things, it is not that big of a deal, I forget that I need to be grateful for what I have , not things/possessions : ) but that I have a life, good friends, a child
( never thought that would happen ! ) and this incredible forum, where I get to "meet" amazing, people !
Hey , I just looked at your first post - you now have over 2 months ! Congrats !
Take care, Carly
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Unread 11-09-2008, 12:45 AM   #15
CarlyO
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Default Hi Angie

Well Angie,

It looks like it is just you and me over here lately lol : ) Seriously, I hope all is going well with you - and that you had a good week. I was wondering how your meetings were going , how things are at home and if you had met some people to hang out with. I had re-read what you posted earlier about the Halloween party and it being a different group of people than what you are used to. You sound like you are putting yourself out there, which is great, that takes intestinal fortitude (guts) ! I was remembering how it was for me- in the early days, I was in a new town, scared, shy - you name it. It took time, but I just kept showing up and eventually - I found a group of people, we were such a motley crew, various ages, backgrounds - we were all struggling , so we just clicked. Looking back those were some of the happiest times of my life, I did not know it then but it was. I am sure you will find some great people as well. I tried to keep an open mind, look for the commonalities with people rather than the differences. I was in some ways a very immature 27 y/o and my BFF ended up being a 46 y/o woman who was the most fun to be around, hysterically witty, so I learned age is just a number. I am glad I was open or else I would have missed out on incredible people in my life.
Anyway, what I am trying to say in a long , round about way as usual - is that having the "fellowship" helps so much imo , because it won't work if you go back to those people places and things, that just leads you back to where you were. It makes it easier to have that connection with people, to fill that void. I had many, many "false starts" because I wanted to do it my way- well my way kept me in misery, lonely - horrible. I learned that it makes it so much easier to have someone to call and do things with. It took about 6 months and I went to minimum 2 meetings a day - more on the weekend, found some groups I liked, plus I was also in counseling. ( I know people on the forum may not care for 12 step groups - which is fne, whatever you can find that works for you - Do It, I am just relating my experience since this is the route Angie has chosen to try. )
Jeeze- I remember being so nervous in the beginning, like what if they call on me - what will I say? Plus, I was not completely sold on the whole recovery /AA gig. Finally, I just told the truth about how I really felt the doubts , the fear etc... and I remember I was laughing and crying at the same time as I spoke! They said, " it is OK - you do not have to think about anything other than NOT picking up this minute, hour, just for today." That was a huge relief and I kept saying to myself- I will give it one more day, then it became a way of living. It seemed once I started sharing, people would come up after the meeting and talk - then that led to coffee then on to friendship. So, That is what is was like for me in the beginning. Sorry this was a long trip down memory lane : ) I hope something I have shared has helped. I am rooting for you - you have no idea, this disease is *#&%#@ !!!! And I wish the best the very best life for you !
You have given such solid and caring feedback to others, I can tell you have it in you. Keep up the great work and keep us posted on you progress when you have time. Take care , Carly
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Unread 11-12-2008, 01:42 PM   #16
angie21
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Hey Carly~
Yea, it was definitely intense going to that party, not knowing what to expect. The other thing that I'm doing differently this time around is that I'm going to a meeting everyday day except Saturdays, but I do go to 2 on Sundays. The first time around, I only went to the Women's meetings because I was too afraid of who I might see at the regular meetings, well actually, who might see me. So this time, I was kind of forced into having to go to the mixed meetings, because my mom said to me either a meeting everyday or find a new place to live. So the first "mixed" meeting was a Monday night 12 by 12 meeting and I remember I was just sick to my stomach with nerves, and wouldn't ya know, the first person I saw when I walked through those doors was a guy I graduated high school with!!! I froze, I didn't know what to do, but I walked in and sat down at the table. He said hi to me and I said hi back. I made it through that meeting; I shared & let go of my fears because I finally realized that it doesn't matter who sees me, because I need AA for me. That meeting was on the 22nd of September and I have kept going to meetings ever since and the funny part is, so has he. So now it's a comfort to have him there because for one, he is my age actually which is rare and nice, and for two we can relate a lot more because we had most of the same groups of friends so we both are now alone because all of our friends use. It's funny how much you start to care about the people that you don't even know just by going to meetings everyday. I find myself looking around and if someone who is usually there isn't there, I become concerned, but then they usually walk in late or something and I breathe a sigh of relief. The other nice thing is that I know they feel the same about me because if I walk in to a meeting late I see them smile at me and it's a smile in their eyes too, which just shows me they care about me. So, my meetings are going awesome and right now I'm just so happy that I have them everyday because it's not just helping me with my sobriety, it's helping me deal with life on life's terms. *I never thought I would start quoting all those "stupid" little sayings either!* Well, I'm glad you are on here, it's just another place for me to get involved with people who are healthy & who genuinely care and aren't doing it for anything like money or anything: no secret agenda. Well I hope all is well for you and can't wait to talk to you more! Take care
~Angie
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Unread 11-12-2008, 06:38 PM   #17
jerryg
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angie,

It is good to read of your progress. I have been following this thread, but I haven't contributed.

I think your frequency of attending meetings is good for you at this time. Good work keep it up. It is a good foundation you are building for your sobriety and recovery.

If I may ask... are you considering a sponsor? I'm not assuming you get one any time soon, that is up to you, and you alone. But I am just asking if you have thought about it and how do you feel about it.

I am happy for you in your sobriety.

Jerry
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Unread 11-12-2008, 07:57 PM   #18
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hi, my name is briana and today is my 73rd day being sober. i am supposed to attend one aa meeting a week, but it seems like things just keep coming up. when i graduated from treatment they told me to keep busy and stay away from using friends, but to also attend meetings. i know you are supposed to focus on being sober first before anything else but what am i supposed to do when i am busy. i am not using, but i get "talked to" when i go to my aftercare meetings and i dont know what else to say because i am not able to make it to the meetings. i just want advice on what to do becuase it is starting to overwhelm me.
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Unread 11-12-2008, 09:03 PM   #19
angie21
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Thank you for your kind words & support Jerry, I really appreciate it. And yes, I am considering a sponsor, but I'm just taking my time, becuase I want to pick the right one. My first time around I picked a sponsor that I thought was going to be perfect for me, but only found out that she was never there for me and would never call me back. So I'm really paying attention to who says the things that really catch my interest at meetings.

Briana~ First of all, Congratulations on 73 days!!! Now on to your concerns...I guess for me I would do a self-check and consider all the things that ARE coming up and keeping me from meetings: are they necessary things that I REALLY can't get out of, or are they things that I may subconciously be putting up as an obstacle to avoid going to meetings? Walking through that door for the first time is the scariest thing ever, but for me it came to a point were that next drink scared me more than the meetings, so I went to see what they were all about, and for me, it was the best thing that could have happened to me. I don't want to tell you that you need meetings and they are the greatest thing in the world, because for some people they don't work, but you'll never find out what works for you if you never try. So I guess I would look at the things I'm doing instead attending meetings like I said before and in the end it's YOUR sobriety, no one else's. It sucks that you are getting "talked-to" about not going to meetings, but i guess just breathe & try to let it go. To me it seems as though you are trying very hard to keep your sobriety and I commend you for that. So keep it up & take care!
~Angie
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Unread 11-13-2008, 04:39 PM   #20
CarlyO
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Default WELCOME NEWCHATTER /Brianna : )

Hi and welcome to the forum Brianna !

Congrats on 74 days ! Angie already gave you some solid feedback about meetings, one meeting a week is not much, considering many places require you to do 90 in 90 days.
Is there not anytime that you could attend a meeting? I realize that I do not know what your schedule is like, if you are working, going to school etc... Do you have a 24 hour club that meets near you? I live in a fairly small town but we do have one that has meetings from 7am to 11pm so that helps a lot.

I hope you can work something out - other than that how is it going ? Hang in there, and glad you are here. : ) Take care, Carly
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Unread 11-13-2008, 05:08 PM   #21
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Whoa Angie look at you : ) You sound really happy, like truly happy. I know what you mean about when you come in late and you see people smiling at you - like a real smile, in their eyes, that is such a great feeling. I am so glad you have found a such a good group that cares.
Isn't that funny - here you were mortified to see someone you knew ,and now you are buddies, compadres, amigos.

The sponsor deal, smart for not rushing into it. At this rate, I am sure you will find the right one soon,now you know what you do not want so that should narrow it down.

They are there to walk you through the steps, sometimes people want more than that, it is a matter of choice really. My first sponsor was 78 years old- I kid you not ! There was nothing that I could not tell her, nothing shocked her. She passed away and I have had 2 sponsors since then, each time, I waited to find as they say someone who has something I want.
Keep up the great work Angie- I am so happy for you ! Carly
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Unread 11-18-2008, 04:36 PM   #22
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yeah i suppose there are things that i choose to do that arent as important than going to the meeting. thanks for your advice angie it helped alot and made me realize to stop what im doing and make room for the meetings. thanks carlyO i am doing fine. i also got great news from my probation officer and i get off early. sobriety has made me a different person.
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Unread 11-20-2008, 12:35 PM   #23
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Hi Briana! I'm glad I could help For me it was really hard in the beginning making myself go to meetings, but then I would force myself and something would happen at the meetings that would let me know that that was exactly where I needed to be at that time--someone would say something that I really needed to hear, or the topic we would talk about would be something I was struggling with...It's really amazing how things work! Hopefully you can get something out of every meeting you go to even if it is just a little phrase of hope It's good to know you are doing well and congratulations on the good news from your probation officer! Keep up the good work!

Hi CarlyO! Thanks for all your support. Yea I guess I am pretty happy right now. Recently I have been dealing with some icky stuff--missing old friends, being lonely in general, but I know I'll get through it That's awesome that your first sponsor was 78 years old! I'm actually thinking about asking someone, but I guess I'm being really hesitant and scared about it--I just need to do it I know, but it's weird. The first time I asked someone it wasn't this hard because I guess I didn't really know how important a sponsor would be to my sobriety, but now I do. I am at that point where I need someone to help me through the steps and understanding what my higher power has planned for me, or how to listen to my higher power. This is just another step that will help me grow in my sobriety and after I ask I'm sure I will feel all the relief that I felt walking through those doors for the first time. Anyways, well I hope all is well with you! Hear from you soon
~Angie
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Unread 11-20-2008, 10:03 PM   #24
CarlyO
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Default Hi Angie and Brianna

Hi Angie,

Glad things are still rocking and rollling along : ) Lonely -hmm -I remember early on, living a half way house, no money,no friends, even my dog was living with my Mom 6 hours away , and I came home from a meeting, feeling lonely and literally throwing myself on the bed and just boo hoo sobbing for a solid hour. I have NOOOO one , I am soooo lonely. It is funny now, but it was not then. Eventually it changed, I changed.
Angie, take some chances, keep putting yourself out there and it will work out. As far as old friends - play it through in your mind, like where it may lead you.

I believe that you will know when the time is right, the person is right for a sponsor. And one thing to remember is that if there is not a good rapport, you are not stuck with the person - you can choose another, just check your motives.

Asking the person can be intimidating, but they want to give back what was so freely given to them, so keep that in mind when you find someone to ask.

Take care and keep moving forward : ) Carly

Hi Brianna- Good News on the probation - been there before, but it did work out. I hope everything else is going well, Take care - Carly
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Unread 11-25-2008, 09:35 PM   #25
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HI Angie,
I hope all is going well with you, I will be around over Thanksgiving but in case I miss you- Have a great holiday. Take care, Carly
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Unread 11-26-2008, 10:01 AM   #26
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angie21, Congrats on your success. Way to go. It's hard but worth it, isn't it!

JaneDoe
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Unread 11-28-2008, 02:03 PM   #27
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Hi Angie and Brianna and Janedoe- I hope you all had a happy thanksgiving ! Take care , Carly
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Unread 12-07-2008, 10:40 PM   #28
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Hi Everyone, Sorry I haven't written in a while, I guess I just haven't really had anything to say. I'm still doing well in my sobriety, having a few stressors at home here & there, but not drinking over them. Still working my two jobs & going to meetings Sunday-Friday. I asked someone to be my sponsor, since I'm stuck on Step 4...:/ I really think I'm going to learn alot from her, she always shares alot of knowledge around the tables. I hope everyone is well!
~Angie
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Unread 12-07-2008, 10:50 PM   #29
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HI Angie,

I was just about to log off - good to hear from you. And you got a sponsor good for you!
If you get a chance, have time, there are some new people around here, I am sure they would love to hear from other people - other than me ; )
I hope stressors at home get sorted out - Take care Angie - you are doing great : ) Carly
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Unread 12-09-2008, 12:32 PM   #30
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Angie, congrats! Keep it up. It gets easier as time goes on.

Happy holidays.

JaneDoe

Last edited by JaneDoe; 12-09-2008 at 12:33 PM.. Reason: spelling error
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Unread 12-14-2008, 11:05 PM   #31
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Hi Angie,
Congrats on all of your hard work, In case I don't talk to you - I Hope you have a great Holiday ! Carly : )
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