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Unread 09-05-2016, 05:34 PM   #1
GreeneGal114
Junior Member
 
Posts: 2
Post Help, I don't know how to move on

Hello all, I am new here. Going through and reading some of the old posts was interesting and very eye opening. Reading the stories about how the addict acts made me realize my husband of 11 years has a problem. There is so much to type as far as details.

The short of it is he has always been a drinker. I don't know if I thought - Oh, once we have kids he will cut back and we would be one big happy family. Well that was far from reality. It seems like his drinking has gotten way worse the older he gets. He has some family demons that he has not dealt with so he is very dependent on alcohol to make him feel numb to his feelings. Then on top of everything he has been laid off due to lack of work for a couple of months now.

Normally he drinks every other day around 4 beers but then the weekend hits. When has downtime and no children's games to coach or go to, he drinks way more than the normal person (almost a case of beer). Usually we get through the weekend unscathed, but not this weekend. He has been drinking since Friday. The more he drinks the meaner and angrier he gets and I can't take it anymore. He becomes disrespectful to all of us, including his mother. Sober or a couple of drinks in he is fine, but he doesn't know how to stop at a couple once he has gotten started.

It's to the point where I don't want our kids to be traumatized by his behavior. Even though it occurs maybe once every 3 or 4 months, 1 time is too many. I have seen some helpful advice (RLee you rock). So I will begin the process of conversations about the situation and push him to get help. If he makes excuses like he always does and doesn't want to get help, I will have to make a plan to move it. I love him dearly and don't want to see anything happen to him, but I am tired of crying and caring and continuously getting verbally abused and hurt.

Thanks for having a place I can vent.
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Unread 09-06-2016, 07:45 AM   #2
NancyB
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Hi GreeneGal114, welcome. That's great that the forum has helped you put a plan together. RLee does rock.

You must put yourself and your kids first. This link may be helpful to you in formulating your plan: http://alcoholanswers.org/friends-family/

The main thing is to set boundaries with consequences that you are willing to carry out. Otherwise he will think you're only kidding and the behavior will continue.

You take care of you and your kids first and foremost. Hopefully this will be the wake up call your husband needs and he will get and embrace help.

Nancy
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Unread 09-06-2016, 04:43 PM   #3
GreeneGal114
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Posts: 2
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Thank Nancy B for the information and encouragement. And I know all too well that he thinks we won't leave. The only thing killing me is that I don't think my oldest would come with me. Nonetheless, I am working on putting money to the side little by little by little so when (not if) it happens again I can make a move.

I keep telling him he needs help and it still excuses that I don't need help. I just need a job to get rid of all the down time. I am so tired of all the excuses. I have told him no help, we are gone.

Again, thanks for your words Nancy B.
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