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Unread 11-04-2011, 12:24 AM   #51
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R. Lee, thanks and yes, it is hard to get in the military these days. His recruiter is being very helpful. Bryan qualifies for a one time expungement of his charge, but it will take 6 to 8 mths. to get it. This has all been a hard lesson for him, but he is showing signs of growing up by taking responsibility for all of his bad decisions. As he should, he blames no one but himself for all the delays w/ the military.

Hawaii, yesterday was my younger son's 19th birthday, so we visited him at school and went to dinner. He seems to be doing well and is so embarrassed about his behavior. After what we have been through w/ Bryan, we took a tough love approach w/ this son. He has to pay for the emergency room visit and we won't continue paying for school, if he continues drinking. Thanks for the prayers!

Marilyn, I don't really know what to think about why he drank so much. I tend to think it really was unintentional, which is what he is telling us. Inexperienced w/ drinking and drank straight bourbon on an empty stomach. Bryan is handling the disappointment well. He still thinks he is can get in, but it will be later next year. Hope you hear from Mike again soon. It's been a hard year for me, so I don't know how you have dealt w/ this for years. I guess as moms we don't have a choice!
Thanks for the support, Becca
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Unread 11-04-2011, 02:24 AM   #52
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Becca, the outing was a nice way of celebrating your son's birthday. I am so glad he is doing well. So proud of Bryan's optimism. He is a nice son. He is so fortunate to have you on his side. I am sure things will workout. Take care and God bless you.

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Unread 11-04-2011, 04:32 PM   #53
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Default Binge drinking among kids - info and post

Originally Posted by Becca View Post
I've had a couple of rough days. Bryan is still doing Ok, but he did hear from the Army today that he will probably not get in. I tried to tell him that this was going to happen, but he wouldn't listen. He had a paraphernalia charge last Dec. that was dropped, but it is still showing up on a criminal record. We have agree to help him pay an attorney to try and expunge the charge. I don't think it will work and he's devastated that he might not get in. So, I am concerned that he will start drinking and/or smoking again. We would love for him to go back to school, but he doesn't seem interested in college for now.

My younger son is a college freshman at UNC...great student, never been in trouble before, etc. Friday night he was taken to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. I really am in shock, because he was so angry w/ Bryan this past year for making such bad decisions. He promised us that we would never have to worry about him. He dad and I can't believe that we may have an issue w/ this son too. We barely drink and rarely ever have alcohol in our house...just an occasional bottle of wine, so no history at home w/ drinking. My husband's father was a raging alcoholic and so is his brother. My husband had 10 siblings and most of them rarely drink, but the grandchildren (my boys' cousins) are having major issues w/ substance abuse. It appears their family has a strong genetic link w/ alcoholism. We are just going to watch our younger son closely! If you guys have any advice for me, I would be glad to hear it.


Link about college binge drinking, facts and stats :

Alcohol and health - there is a lot more on this site

FAQ ( includes how much is too much ? and other helpful info.

Dear Becca,

What a relief that your son recovered from alcohol poisoning ! Before he was discharged, Did his tests /panels show that he is ok, liver, kidneys, etc.. no long term damage?
I posted a link ( there is much more info online) not only for you but for everyone as it has been an issue in middle/ high schools , colleges, fraternities, etc... During my stint at boarding school is where I started my major binge drinking, 16 years old I was going to frat parties and the alcohol flowed !

My neices and nephews say that their universities are including some education about alcohol in the orientation classes. However, I think peer pressure takes over, some call it a rite of passage, and imo we are a culture where alcohol is acceptable, just look at any magazine, filled with ads, and other commercials.
I am not posting this to scare you, merely to get the info out there , this is an important topic and relevent . Another aspect is that evidence shows alcohol is metabolized differently for individuals,ex. women vs men, then think if someone's health is compromised, an undiagnosed condition and the worst on certain medications.

I hope this was an isolated incident, lesson learned, it sounds like it from your last visit with him , though he may benefit from learning more about alcohol's effect pysically and psychologically.
Imo - He is fortunate to be at such a great univ. so I know he smart but I am biased ( go Tarheels) - keep an eye on him, his grades and pass on some literature to him . I posted a link about effects on the body, there is much more here, maybe send him the link or print it for him. Most importantly is that he is ok !

Can Bryan qualify for first offender's program, where the charge is expunged as long as he stays out any trouble ? If he cannot get in the military then plan B , yes? I know it is disappointing but we cannot use that as a reason to give up, esp since he has come so far. One thing I had to learn is to live life on life's terms and learn to deal with every problem life throws my way.
I have faith that if he stays on his journey there will be something he is meant to do.
Take care Becca, hope you and the family have a great weekend. Carly
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Unread 11-04-2011, 10:07 PM   #54
R. Lee
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Becca, You are handeling both of you boys situations very well. My 1st. drunk at age 18 was very similar. I drank whiskey with a bunch of the popular guys from school. I had no idea how to drink so I drank it like pop until I was out like a light with in an hour. I hated the taste of whiskey until the last 7 weeks of my drinking at the age of 60. Then I loved it. Then I had the desire that this was the end of my drinking & I got help. I have been sober ever since.

Last edited by R. Lee; 11-04-2011 at 10:15 PM..
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Unread 11-10-2011, 11:18 PM   #55
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As always, thank you R. Lee, Hawaii and Carly! My younger son is doing well. I think the drinking binge actually scared him. He calls me every few days, just to let me know that he is OK. He knows we have been through a lot w/ Bryan and he feels terrible that he added to our stress.

Update on Bryan...he was refusing to go back to college, until out of the blue this morning, he asked if it was too late to sign up for classes next semester. We are so glad he wants to go back, but now we need to make sure he can. He took a medical withdrawal last year and was told he would need a doctor's release to return. I think everything will work out, as his Dr. doesn't have an issue w/ writing the release.

Carly-thank you so much for all the info. When he is home for Thanksgiving, I am going to give him all this info. Hw didn't tell us about the hospital visit until 24 hrs later, so I don't know all the details. He did tell me that they did not pump his stomach and he thinks he didn't need to go to the hospital. Several of his friends got scared and asked the resident advisor for help, because he was so sick. RA said she was legally required to call EMS. The only reason that he was not kicked out of dorms for underage drinking is because older frat brothers were called to the dorm and they begged her not to turn him in. EMS didn't want to deal w/ campus police so they listed his age as 21. He's lucky to not be kicked out of the dorm and have an underage drinking charge, so the entire incident has scared him. Still, we plan on watching him closely. Frat would be a big concern, but they actually don't tolerate drunken behavior in his frat...he was talked to the next day and told that he would be kicked out if he behaved like this again. They actually hire a security guard for their parties and have anyone intoxicated removed from the house. Glad to hear you are a Tarheel!

Regarding Bryan, yes he does qualify for expungement, but it takes 6 to 8 months to get on from what we are being told. We hope he is headed back to school next semester. Probably just going to take a few general ed classes. Taking baby steps w/ him...glad he wants to go back, but not a good idea to live on campus. Fortunately we live close enough for commute...Wolfpacker, not a Tarheel!
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