Addiction Survivors


Unread 07-26-2008, 11:20 AM   #1
CarlyO's Avatar
Posts: 2,566
Default Thanks for your concern ( Joke) : )

If you ever receive tons of emails from well meaning friends to save your soul by sending prayers straight from the heavens or warnings food, perfumes and urban myths, you may appreciate this.

Thanks For your Concern,

I want to thank all you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your email forwards over the past few YEARS. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed and wealthy.

Because of your concern.......

I no longer drink coca cola because it can remove stains from toilets.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the owners are atheists and refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran Wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I do not check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with an infected needle.

I no longer use "cancer causing" deodorant even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a chloroform laced perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get the bill from hel* with calls from Jamaica, Uganda and Uzbebekistan.

I no longer eat pre-packaged foods teeming with hormones that will cause my private parts to shrivel up.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant creatures with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me and take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

Thanks to you, I now know that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to 12 of my friends, do 5 jumping jacks and make a wish within 5 minutes.

I no longer have any money because have been sending it to a sick girl who has been sick for the past 7 years.
but that will change once I receive the 15k that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program !

I will now return the favor......

If you do not send this email to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with flaming diarrhea will fly over your head and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpit. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin, and he's a lawyer.

Have a Nice Day!

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