Addiction Survivors

Notices

Reply
Unread 11-28-2009, 08:23 AM   #1
Magda
Moderator
 
Magda's Avatar
 
Posts: 417
Default Isolation

My addiction to drugs and alcohol did not start in isolation, but they ended there. I used because I felt alone, even in a crowd. Nobody understood me and the rest of the world turned their back, even the ones that were supposed to love me unconditionally.
I wanted to be numb, didn't want to hurt anymore, didn't want to cry, didn't want to wonder why- just numb. I spent countless nights in isolation, listening to my heart beating in my chest- wondering if this was all life had left to give.
Then, a warmth came over me- a moment of clarity and hope started to awaken me. I wanted to learn how to be happy, to love myself, to let others love me- I just needed help and in order to find it, I had to stop living in isolation.
There were times in recovery when I felt alone too. It was because I had closed the door on those that fueled my addiction and I had not yet let in the ones who wanted to help me put it to rest. This is a time when you are tested, and there were times I opened the wrong door- but finally the righteous choice became obvious.
I truly believe that we are given angels to guide us in this life, and it is up to us to accept their help.After too many failed attempts, the pieces finally fit together and my life was no longer empty.I never had to live in Isolation again.It is truly all about the choices we make, and what we do with the gifts that present themselves in our lives.
Today, I have so much to be grateful for. I feel that until you truly let go of the past, you cannot live in the present, and letting go of the past feels so great. Nothing will ever change what has come to pass, but we have the power to create happiness today.
Come out of your isolation friends! Let the light in, and let your heart love again. Leave the tortured past behind you and heal yourself today. I can testify that once you do this completely, happiness will prevail. Life is a gift and we should do the best we can while we are here.

Take a moment to tell how Isolation has affected your life or how you have left it behind...
__________________
Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
Magda is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 11-28-2009, 12:55 PM   #2
CarlyO
Moderator
 
CarlyO's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,566
Default

Hi Magda,
Isolation, that was probability the worst for me. What you posted, I felt all of it. I remember feeling so alone, so empty, I did not want to get close to anyone, avoided everyone, as they may discover my secret. It took so much energy to keep up what I thought was a decent facade, at least for my child and at work, but when I quit my job, I basically became a recluse. Those were the Darkest days of my life, self hatred, unresolved grief of a loved one, barely existing, waking up in the morning and crying, just going through the motions of life. I was so utterly miserable.
I had my husb, but he was trying to keep things going, I could not truly be close with him because of my addiction being a barrier. He did the best he could, but he knew I had to want help.
I did have someone in my life, a dear friend, who was very persistent, even when I pushed her away, never gave up on me. (I was there for her during a divorce from her ex who I am sad to say has never sought out help for his addiction. ) She trusted me with her secret years prior, so I finally broke down to her and admitted how bad things had become, I was in full blown relapse and was ready to get help.
Her reply was, I know, I have known something was going on, I am just glad you shared it with me. It was a huge relief to talk about it and from there I made a plan to get the help I needed.
My friend stood by me, sent me encouraging letters and participated in my program, she is someone I would consider to be my angel. Since then, I have allowed others in my life, and even have my "cyber angels" who are very dear to me.

Back then I did not know much about forums, so to anyone reading this site, please know this, you are not alone, take a chance , and post , vent... I was so glad to have found people who have been through similar experiences, who understand the pain and the struggle not only of dealing with addiction, but the isolation and loneliness that comes with it.
It helped me reach out so today I do not need or want to isolate, I do not ever want to go back to those dark days. Sure life is not perfect, I do Not expect it to be, but I have so much to be thankful for now.
There is hope so to anyone feeling alone, please do not give up !

Carly : )
__________________
Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
CarlyO is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off




All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:44 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
© 2014 Addiction Survivors