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Unread 04-21-2009, 01:18 PM   #1
M20I09T
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Posts: 1
Default Scared

Frankly, I am scared that I am posting on this website for a myriad of reasons. If I am not an alcoholic I am well on my way.

I am a very social person and have moved from social drinking to frequent binges where blacking out major portions of an evening are not uncommon. I feel like I am loosing control over alcohol and need to start changing. I have tried many times to curb my drinking without success. Like many others on this forum I have a littany of embarassing, stupid and dangerous stories. I have rolled a car, been arrested, been in a few fights all while under the influence of alcohol. As I type this, I am missing a weekly volunteer commitment and am horrified at my total lack of responsibility. Last night included an ugly exchange with the manager of a restaurant where I behaved like a complete jerk.

I am ashamed I have come to this point and feel that I am on the verge of loosing some important things in my life, the least of which is my health which I know is suffering. My girlfreind has also made some less than subdtle hints that she is getting sick of this behavior and rightly so.

Every resource indicates that I have a problem and I know in my heart and mind that I have a problem. Although I am fortunate enough to have many great friends, I dont think I can share this with them even the ones who likley also have drinking problems. I manage to hold things together pretty well but it is pure stupid luck that I have not gotten into more serious trouble or hurt someone else due to my irresponsibility.

I am 28. This isnt fun or interesting or edgy anymore. I am literally horrified with myself.

Thank you to those who have posted on this site.
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Unread 04-22-2009, 10:14 PM   #2
CarlyO
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Default HI and welcome M2 : )

Hi M2,
Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing.

I agree it is scary, but you have made some very important first steps, like coming here and sharing. I posted some links, like a self assessment, educational info, etc...
would you be open to seeing a professional for a more in depth assessment ? You sound like you are on the fence, which is completely normal in the beginning.
You mentioned your GF has commented about your drinking, sometimes our loved ones/ family see a problem before we do.

Only you know if you have an alcohol problem, you are spot on when you mentioned risking things, alcoholism is a progressive disease if left untreated. Some people get a wake up call - a DUI, jobs/ relationships are lost or in jeopordy and as you said your health.

I hope you will read the links and other info here, maybe it will give you some insight into where you are and where you want to be.

Please keep us posted and take care , Carly

Do I need Help - self assessment /questionaire .....

http://www.alcoholanswers.org/alcoho...-need-help.cfm


http://rethinkingdrinking.niaaa.nih....ourPattern.asp

Alcohol Withdrawals and other Info ....

http://www.alcoholanswers.org/alcoho...estions.cfm#15


Treatment locator : Physicians, counselors and treatment facilities..

http://www.alcoholanswers.org/local/

Below is a list of the various support groups that are available and how to find one near you. There is now much more than traditional AA, there are many types of support groups out there.

http://www.alcoholanswers.org/resour...port-links.cfm

Link to medication assisted treatment options... this can be an invaluable tool to help with cravings.

http://www.alcoholanswers.org/treatm...-treatment.cfm

Information for your family ....
Education for your family/loved ones can be vital to their understanding of what you are facing and trying to accomplish.
Below is the link to the information and other resources on the site that may help them.

http://www.alcoholanswers.org/friends-family/
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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Unread 05-17-2009, 11:37 PM   #3
Bev
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Posts: 11
Default

I have felt the way you have many times. I am slightly older, 41, but I have embarassed myself at office parties, etc, within the last few years. As someone who has gone down this path longer than you, please take my advise and get help now. Once you are married, or divorced, and have children, it is much harder to seek the help you need. Nip it in the butt now, while you have the freedom to do so. It will make your future, and the future of those you love and will love, sooooo much better.
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Unread 05-18-2009, 12:45 PM   #4
R. Lee
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Posts: 4,984
Default

Bev, Only you can call youself an Alcoholic. After 42 years of heavy drinking & 23 knowing I was an Alcoholic I sought help through A.A. because I could not stop on my own. The 1st couple of years I disregarded anything to do with the god concept. But then it hit me. I'm not the highest rung on the ladder. There is something out there higher than a human. I don't have to know what that is. Right now you are in a good place. Keep posting.
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Unread 05-22-2009, 08:01 PM   #5
jerryg
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Posts: 525
Default

M20,
Carly has given you some places to start looking for options and information. And you are welcome to the site. Be honest with yourself about what you are willing to do at this timer. You must stop drinking, but you will struggle at the outset. Begin to form a commitment, and rally as much support you can. Talk to people honestly about your condition.
All the best,
Jerry
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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