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Unread 07-06-2010, 09:49 AM   #351
Gael
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Thanks for your replies; you all seem like very intelligent and caring people. Sullivan, you and I seem to be in the same boat with our chardonnay! I'm eager to hear how your counseling session went, if you want to share. I'm going with Frank on this however, because I simply can't jeopardize my insurance (thanks for that honest assessment!). So I guess this leaves me between the perverbial rock and the hard spot and I'm left to my own devices to cope with it. I'm trying to substitute green tea with fresh mint and alternate to cut back on the alcohol (and calories). I'm slightly overweight because of the wine. I'm also thinking I may join the gym to take up a couple hours in the evening where I would otherwise be sitting in front of the tv drinking. Small steps, but in the right direction. Cheers all! ~Gael
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Unread 07-06-2010, 08:29 PM   #352
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Thanks for your replies; you all seem like very intelligent and caring people. Sullivan, you and I seem to be in the same boat with our chardonnay! I'm eager to hear how your counseling session went, if you want to share. I'm going with Frank on this however, because I simply can't jeopardize my insurance (thanks for that honest assessment!). So I guess this leaves me between the perverbial rock and the hard spot and I'm left to my own devices to cope with it. I'm trying to substitute green tea with fresh mint and alternate to cut back on the alcohol (and calories). I'm slightly overweight because of the wine. I'm also thinking I may join the gym to take up a couple hours in the evening where I would otherwise be sitting in front of the tv drinking. Small steps, but in the right direction. Cheers all! ~Gael
Hi Gael,

I shouldn't give anyone advice as I'm still drinking, but you don't have to go it alone when there are lots of AA meetings in your area. Just go with an open mind (unlike I did) and you will meet people in the same boat you are in. Take in a meeting out of town if you have to. The gym thing sounds very good. Sometimes exercise stymies the urge to drink.

Frank
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Unread 07-07-2010, 02:30 PM   #353
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Hi Frank, I realize that AA is an option, but I can't see myself going that route. I don't mean to pass judgement, but I can't seem to put myself in the same category as my sister-in-law who drank perfume when she was pregnant. AA is her life now and good for her; her life totally depends on it. I don't believe in "organized religion" either, so that aspect of it doesn't appeal to me at all. I don't even like to join "clubs." (I sound kind of antisocial, but we have lots of friends and very busy lives.) Owning a brewery also comes with a bit of "celebrity", so attending AA meetings anywhere in our state would not exactly be "anonymous." I just want to somehow find a way or inspiration to strengthen my resolve to drink less. Naltrexone seems like the perfect solution for me; wish I had a doctor in the family!
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Unread 07-07-2010, 07:43 PM   #354
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Hi Frank, I realize that AA is an option, but I can't see myself going that route. I don't mean to pass judgement, but I can't seem to put myself in the same category as my sister-in-law who drank perfume when she was pregnant. AA is her life now and good for her; her life totally depends on it. I don't believe in "organized religion" either, so that aspect of it doesn't appeal to me at all. I don't even like to join "clubs." (I sound kind of antisocial, but we have lots of friends and very busy lives.) Owning a brewery also comes with a bit of "celebrity", so attending AA meetings anywhere in our state would not exactly be "anonymous." I just want to somehow find a way or inspiration to strengthen my resolve to drink less. Naltrexone seems like the perfect solution for me; wish I had a doctor in the family!
Understood. I went through the same thing (minus the celeberty thing) when in business, and the "whats said here stays here" thing didn't work, and it cost me. Don't get me started!

I feel the same as you on most all you said, infact you pretty much described me. I don't have to worry (too much that is) about going to meetings now, but can't seem to force myself to go. Just being around people with drinking problems would help me, but like you, I'm not into the other stuff.

If It's meds you want, I wonder if you could get them on line and/or out of the country? Maybe someone who knows what they are talking about can advise you on that.

I watched an episode of south park (I know I never grew up) last night, and it was about one of the 8 yr. old boy's father who got a DUI, and was court forced to attend AA meetings. He is strickly a social drinker, and when he attended the first meeting, they told him he has a disease, so he went home and stayed drunk in a wheelchair. His kid went to the meeting place and yelled at the people who tricked him. You would have had to see it.

Frank
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Unread 07-09-2010, 10:13 AM   #355
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Gael-
I totally understand where you are coming from. I do not promote a specific type of support or recovery, I support what works for the individual. It is finding what works that counts. I know there is a huge community of people who will never get what they need from the twelve step model- those are the people I tend to focus on because they need to know there are other ways to heal.
One alternative is SMART recovery. It is based on the individual looking within themselves for the answers, not looking to a "higher power", or other group members. They have online resources, meetings(face to face and online), and is a great alternative to 12 step support. Give it a look:
http://www.smartrecovery.org/

I have been involved in recovery for many years and have worked with different 12 step models many times- it never felt right for me and the more I explained why I did not like it- the more it got pushed on me. The people telling me to go insisted I was just fighting the process, it got old. I told them I don't have to go to AA, NA, or any other Anonymous group to be in recovery. I am proud to say that my life has been just fine using alternative means. I respect 12 step recovery and I understand why it works for many people- I am not one of them. I am a counselor and many treatment centers use the 12 step model in their practices, so I adapt for the sake of my career, but in my personal life- I do what works for me. One day, I hope to be in a position where I can work with clients one and one and help people in need of alternatives. Take Care.
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Unread 07-09-2010, 01:12 PM   #356
Frankie
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Gael-
I totally understand where you are coming from. I do not promote a specific type of support or recovery, I support what works for the individual. It is finding what works that counts. I know there is a huge community of people who will never get what they need from the twelve step model- those are the people I tend to focus on because they need to know there are other ways to heal.
One alternative is SMART recovery. It is based on the individual looking within themselves for the answers, not looking to a "higher power", or other group members. They have online resources, meetings(face to face and online), and is a great alternative to 12 step support. Give it a look:
http://www.smartrecovery.org/

I have been involved in recovery for many years and have worked with different 12 step models many times- it never felt right for me and the more I explained why I did not like it- the more it got pushed on me. The people telling me to go insisted I was just fighting the process, it got old. I told them I don't have to go to AA, NA, or any other Anonymous group to be in recovery. I am proud to say that my life has been just fine using alternative means. I respect 12 step recovery and I understand why it works for many people- I am not one of them. I am a counselor and many treatment centers use the 12 step model in their practices, so I adapt for the sake of my career, but in my personal life- I do what works for me. One day, I hope to be in a position where I can work with clients one and one and help people in need of alternatives. Take Care.
Thanks for the link.

Frank
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Unread 07-09-2010, 02:47 PM   #357
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Thanks for the link.

Frank

Yes, thanks!
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Unread 07-10-2010, 12:03 AM   #358
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You are very welcome guys. Don't be afraid to look into the other secular groups such as S.O.S. and Lifering. Sometimes taking a little from each can be very helpful in creating a more individualized recovery path!
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Unread 07-11-2010, 11:30 AM   #359
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Hi Gael,

A belated welcome to the forum ! Do you want me to start your own thread, please let me know - that way more people can view it and offer feedback.

You have already received solid feedback. I hope to hear more from you , in the meantime time, take care, Carly : )


Hi Frank,
How are you ? I am trying to catch up since I have been out of the loop. Hope all is well, Carly : )
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Unread 07-21-2010, 10:30 PM   #360
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Hi Gael,

A belated welcome to the forum ! Do you want me to start your own thread, please let me know - that way more people can view it and offer feedback.

You have already received solid feedback. I hope to hear more from you , in the meantime time, take care, Carly : )


Hi Frank,
How are you ? I am trying to catch up since I have been out of the loop. Hope all is well, Carly : )
Hi Carly,

Still drinking. Thanks for checking!

Frank
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Unread 07-25-2010, 06:28 AM   #361
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Frank,

How are you? Enquiring minds want to know. Not trying to be nosey, just care how you're doing.

Saint
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Unread 07-29-2010, 03:23 PM   #362
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Frank,

How are you? Enquiring minds want to know. Not trying to be nosey, just care how you're doing.

Saint
Hi Saint,

Thanks for checking, and I'm still bouncing off the walls like before. It takes what it takes, and I might be one of those who never get it. I don't know... Did you buy another house, and did your x-wife stay in the old one, and are you fairly happy? Hows that for being way too nosey? Also, how long are you sober now? See ya Saint,

Frank
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Unread 07-30-2010, 03:23 PM   #363
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Frank,

I'm glad to hear from you! Yes I bought another house relatively close by to where my old house is so I could be close to my daughter. Her grammar school is located even closer which is great because I like to pick her up and drop her off at school when I can, during the school year of course.

My daughter's Mom stayed in the house we built on land her Father gave us. We worked things out as best we could financially so she can continue to live there. It had always been her dream to build and live on the property so I hope it all works out for her.

Frank I am happy, thanks for asking. I'm happy because my daughter appears to be handling the divorce very well. I had so expected things to be so very different in that regard. Her Mom and I have remained on friendly terms with each other, and of course both love our daughter dearly so I believe that has made the transition so much easier for her. She is still a child after all so we'll continue to keep a close eye on her. There are of course days when I doubt myself, or have a 'bad' day but such is life. That's what makes life interesting, yes ; ) ???? So in spite of everthing I've been through, actually because of everything I've been through.....I've found peace and contentment. It has been worth the struggle.

It's been at least a year and a few days that I've been sober. Not really sure because I never circled the day on the calendar the day I stopped for good. I had so, so, so many false starts on the road to sobriety I apparently didn't have any confidence in myself this last time either : ) . Technically August 1 will be one year, that's the date I chose. I think I'm going to treat myself to a nice big ice cream cone to celebrate that day.

Frank, I remain optimistic you'll 'get it' . Stick aound Frank, I care how you're doing.

Thanks for asking about me Frank, I appreciate it.

Regards,
Saint
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Unread 08-01-2010, 08:15 PM   #364
R. Lee
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Congratulations on your 1 year. You are a man who has showed me how to stay sober & you have been a great example on living my life as a sober man rather that a dry drunk.
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Unread 08-01-2010, 11:08 PM   #365
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Hi Saint and Lee,

+1 on the one year Saint! Glad to hear your doing so well. Hope things are getting better for you Lee. I was sideways for a few months after my mom died, and wasn't right for a year. Now I have deep resentments towards both my parents that I let go of many years ago, so I can sympathize with your brother.

Frank
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Unread 08-02-2010, 07:40 AM   #366
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Lee,

Thank you. I value your thoughts, your words. They are the words of experience and wisdom. I will treasure them.

Regards,
Saint
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Unread 08-02-2010, 08:32 AM   #367
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Frank, It was so much easier to be with my dad at his death & have everything square between us. We made peace about a year ago. I celebrated his death, was there for my mom & was able to let all the crap go. Resentments are the # 1 offender it can lead me back to drinking.
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Unread 08-06-2010, 03:56 PM   #368
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Hi Frank,
I am glad you posted an update !You mentioned the drinking,how are you with the after effects ? Same as before ? I suppose that is your body's response to the alcohol.
I simply refuse to believe you will "never get it " call me idealistic ,but example: you have been in the rooms, it DOES take what it takes as they say. Sometimes we, me included end up standing in our own way. Addiction is not easy, imo - it is doable, but it aint always a bed of roses. The big difference I see now as opposed to when I got help is that there are many more options out there. Though, I realize with the recession, healthcare - things are not what they should be. Having an open mind , willingness, can often be vital when you decide it is time. You know my story and what it took ( a lot , especially a lot of misery and other issues ) to get me to the point of OK I have to do this, now.
I guess you have to face that no one is giving up on you here ; )
Other than the drinking - how has your summer been, I hope all is well with you and family. Keep us posted if even to vent. Take care of yourself Frank ! Carly
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Unread 08-09-2010, 11:44 AM   #369
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Frank,

I agree with Carly. The more time you spend thinking about staying sober and thinking about your relationship with alcohol the better your chance of getting there. I am also optimistic you will 'get it'. I've heard it said 'We become what we think about' and I believe that to be so true. Stay with it Frank, don't give up on yourself, I haven't.

Stay strong Frank,
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Unread 08-16-2010, 02:45 PM   #370
R. Lee
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Are you ok Frank. What ever you are doing please check in. We are here for you.

Guys & girls I will be off this site for about a week. We are going to Washington D.C. for my military reunion. 1st Btn 9th Marines called "The Walking Dead" a name given us by General Giap the senior general of the North Vietnam Army after we killed his son in the war. He made it a point to try & kill all of us. He did a good job.
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Unread 08-16-2010, 04:39 PM   #371
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Lee,
My respects to you, your fellow brothers in arms, and to those that paid the ultimate sacrifice. Lest we forget the freedom we enjoy today comes at a high price.

Have a safe trip.

Regards,
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Unread 08-18-2010, 08:23 PM   #372
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Frank,
It's been awhile..... How are you buddy?

Stay Safe,
Saint
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Unread 08-21-2010, 11:43 AM   #373
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HI Frank - How are you ???
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Unread 08-22-2010, 08:17 AM   #374
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Frank,

Hey - You fall under the bus???

Stay Safe,
Saint
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Unread 08-23-2010, 01:18 PM   #375
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Hey Frank, I'm back. Let us know how you are doing.
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Unread 08-27-2010, 10:02 PM   #376
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Hi Frank, I 'll jump in here too and ask how are you doing ? Hopefully once school starts back I will have more time to keep up with everyone on a more regular basis. I do hope all is well you.
Please take care of yourself : ) Carly
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Unread 09-03-2010, 02:29 AM   #377
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Hi all,

Thanks for checking in on me. Still drinking. Not a whole lot to be said about that. Thanks gang,

Frank
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Unread 09-03-2010, 05:43 PM   #378
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Good luck to you Frank.
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Unread 09-03-2010, 10:35 PM   #379
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Thank you for updating us Frank, I do worry when you go a while without an update. When you /if you feel like sharing , would like to hear more about what is going on,especially with your health is the drinking causing consequences as in the past? Please be safe - take care, Carly
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Unread 09-04-2010, 07:15 AM   #380
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Frank,
It's nice to hear from you. I can understand your not wanting to post if you're still struggling but it is good to hear from you none the less. Stay well my friend.

Saint
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Unread 09-06-2010, 10:56 PM   #381
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What ever you do AA, church or choice. You MUST surrender to your disease of addiciton. The rest is life style change. I had to be honest with myself and others to remain clean and sober for the last 14 years. I left eveyone who I assoicated with that suffered from their own addictions. I got people in my life that support me and know who I am as a recovering alcohol addict. Most impotantly I would never be clean and sober today or for that matter for the last 14 years by my will alone. It is my will that kept me drunk and high for years. I turned my life over to a higher power. Something that leads me to sanity who I chose to call God (Jesus Christ) that's it.
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Unread 09-07-2010, 03:52 PM   #382
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I always said 'When I get THAT bad I'd go to AA" Well I got THAT bad!

Now I love AA but go once in a while after 22 plus years.

I did drink Mennen skin bracer so I must qualify lol

When ya get that bad check us out

Glen
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Unread 09-11-2010, 02:41 PM   #383
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Good luck to you Frank.
Thanks Lee.
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Unread 09-11-2010, 02:50 PM   #384
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Thank you for updating us Frank, I do worry when you go a while without an update. When you /if you feel like sharing , would like to hear more about what is going on,especially with your health is the drinking causing consequences as in the past? Please be safe - take care, Carly
Thanks Carly. On drinking days I just take more meds., on off days I exersise more. Great reasoning ain't it? Makes perfect sense doesn't it? Thanks for checking on me Carly.

Frank
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Unread 09-11-2010, 02:54 PM   #385
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Frank,
It's nice to hear from you. I can understand your not wanting to post if you're still struggling but it is good to hear from you none the less. Stay well my friend.

Saint
Hi Saint, and thanks for the kind words. I hope all of you are doing well.

Frank
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Unread 09-11-2010, 02:59 PM   #386
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Thanks to the AA's who chimed in. I'm not religious at all, so the higher power thing is out, but if I ever get my poop together, I will go to meetings.

Frank
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Unread 09-11-2010, 03:13 PM   #387
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I may have you this before, but have you looked into SMART recovery?? It is not faith oriented, nor higher power oriented. It is based on YOU and your decision making, why not look into it?
http://smartrecovery.org/
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Unread 09-11-2010, 10:15 PM   #388
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I may have you this before, but have you looked into SMART recovery?? It is not faith oriented, nor higher power oriented. It is based on YOU and your decision making, why not look into it?
http://smartrecovery.org/
Thanks Magda. I'm looking at it now. Who knows...

Frank
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Unread 09-12-2010, 12:44 AM   #389
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Hey Frankie Please take care of yourself it took me many times to finally quit...No matter what happens we are here for you.....Di
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Unread 09-12-2010, 11:34 AM   #390
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Hi Frank,
Good to see you posting : ) Not pushing AA but remember a while back- the debates we all had about religious vs. Spirituality, rather the difference between. I will do a search and try to find them.

I posted something on Off Topic about a book/biography I had recently read . I think you would like this Richard who... after years of struggling, was not a "religious" person but went on a quest to find "spirituality " so that he could find some kind of peace and happiness and deal with his addiction.
Yeah I know,you may be thinking -- Namby Pamby - peace love and happiness - ; )
but my sincerest hope for you is that you DO find some type of support - whatever it may be... that will help you find your way off of the swings and slides.
In any case glad you have been posting lately.
Be well, take care, Carly
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Unread 09-12-2010, 04:39 PM   #391
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Don't quit quitting Frank. We are here for you!
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Unread 09-13-2010, 11:26 AM   #392
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Thanks to all for your kind words. You've got me thinking again Carly. You're very good at that. Hope things are going well for you, and all the nice people on this forum. I miss talking to you all.

Frank
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Unread 09-13-2010, 11:35 AM   #393
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Originally Posted by Magda View Post
I may have you this before, but have you looked into SMART recovery?? It is not faith oriented, nor higher power oriented. It is based on YOU and your decision making, why not look into it?
http://smartrecovery.org/
I never apologized for ragging on you when I first found this forum. You are a very nice asset to this forum, and I jumped down your throat. Sorry Mag!

Frank
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Unread 09-13-2010, 11:36 AM   #394
Saint
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Do what it takes Frank....stick with it.....don't give up on one's self .....

What did you think about that 'Smart Recovery' link?

Take care Frank, Good to see you posting!
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Unread 09-13-2010, 10:43 PM   #395
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Quote:
I never apologized for ragging on you when I first found this forum. You are a very nice asset to this forum, and I jumped down your throat. Sorry Mag!
Honestly, I don't recall you ragging on me but apology accepted. We mods tend to have thick skin- a job requirement (lol) Take care!
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Unread 09-14-2010, 08:19 PM   #396
Frankie
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Originally Posted by Saint View Post
Do what it takes Frank....stick with it.....don't give up on one's self .....

What did you think about that 'Smart Recovery' link?

Take care Frank, Good to see you posting!
Saint
Hi Saint,

Not sure if I read enough of it to find out the nuts and bolts, but I think I will have to join to find out. Did you look/join it?

Frank
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Unread 09-15-2010, 11:47 AM   #397
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Hi Frank,
In addition to the link that lists many types of support. --Admin sent me info on LifeRing, which I had never heard of it . I read through parts of the site and it looks interesting, definitely worth a look see - imo. It looks like they have live chat too ! I read some threads from the forum also.

Soo, how are you doing this week ? Hope all is well and you will check out some of these other supports. btw- things are ok with moi - thanks for asking : )

Take care, Carly


LifeRing is A non-religious self-help recovery organization for individuals who seek group
support to achieve abstinence from alcohol and other addictive drugs.

http://lifering.org/

link you may already have to SMART and other supports....
http://www.alcoholanswers.org/resour...port-links.cfm
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Unread 09-19-2010, 06:15 PM   #398
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Hi Frank,

How are you ? Did you get a chance to check out the links? If so where they helpful? Keeping an open mind regarding support can make a huge difference.
Hope all is well - keep us posted ! Take care, Carly
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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Unread 09-21-2010, 08:16 PM   #399
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Frank,

I hope I find you well! Regarding your last post to me, I did check out the website and it looks promising. No I didn't join, for now this site is enough for me. I still see a therapist once a month so I have that also. These things remind me of what I am and what I will become should I drink, lest I forget.

Take care of yourself Frank,
Saint
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Unread 10-01-2010, 11:52 PM   #400
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Hi Carly and saint,

Yes I looked at the sites Carly, but I'm having so much fun drinking and feeling like s--t, I haven't done anything about it. Thanks very much for the help!

Frank
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