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Unread 04-29-2010, 06:54 PM   #101
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Hey Deanna, just saw the new trailer to Eclipse. I can't wait, woohoo! It looks like it will be good. Anyway, just thought of you when I saw it. Hope you are having a good work week and you are feeling good. Talk to ya soon, Lisa
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Unread 04-30-2010, 06:59 PM   #102
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Deanna ........... I'm still excited to hear about the concert! lol

Hope it was a good work week for you!

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Unread 05-01-2010, 08:43 AM   #103
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Hi Guys! Thanks for popping in to say hello!

Hey Mike! The job was inside a big steel mill, so I was dry, and a little TOO warm at times! But I got a pocket full of money to put in the bank for the wonderful bills I wrote you a note about Elton John in the GM thread

Dawny....how are you? I miss talkin to you too! havent gone to any meetings yet, with work and all. I dont know even where Im gonna go, I have to start looking around soon now that Im back off work. Congrats to your daughter!!! Are you playing softball again this year? Wow, we have known each other a whole year already!!!!

Hi Lisa! OMG I cant wait until June to see Eclipse! YAY!!!!! I stopped in your thread to talk to you. Im doing pretty good still at 2.5mg. Im not dropping for a while. I want to get a good grip on reading the Book, and going to some meetings and getting a sponsor before I go any further with my taper. Slow and steady..........

Bye guys! Deanna
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Unread 05-01-2010, 09:43 AM   #104
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Hey woman, holy crap, I don't know how you do that gig. I'd be holding onto anything in sight and get nothing done. LOL I did some AA/NA meetings when I first got on sub. Didn't really like them too much so I found a group at a wellness type place that had different support groups for a ton of stuff. I did like that. No one was like, hey, I'm an addict. blah blah blah. But other peeps I know liked the meetings when they found a good one.

Annnnnnyways. That's really cool that Elton is still the man. Yeah, he's got those timeless songs that will be good in 20 more years.

You're doing this whole gig the right way Deanna, what's working for YOU YOU YOU. That's all that matters. Better than the alternative, eh? Many beam hugs my friend! -Mary
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Unread 05-01-2010, 10:23 AM   #105
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Hi Deanna, I cant beleive we know each other for a year, time flies. I dont think I am gona play softball because of my accident, I dont want to mess anything up with the legal stuff until I get a settlement. And boy this I am gona be 50 and boy do I feel it, every morning I wake up cant even move, my body must have some athritis I guess. It sucks. but once I take the methedone I am fine, thank god for that. So you are not working anymore, what was that a short job? Well talk to you soon
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Unread 05-02-2010, 07:48 AM   #106
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Yea Dawny, the job I took was for 1 week of 12 hrs a day. When you go down to the union hall every day, there are jobs that come out called "dispatched" and you can sort of bid on them according to how long you've been laid off. I knew I would make a lot of money on all that overtime, so I took it. Now, I go back to the hall and wait for the next one. Thats just the way it goes in union construction, feast or famine.

Whats up Mary You know, Im really not into going to meetings, I dont know why, but every time I had ever gone before, I felt worse coming out of a meeting than going in. Im gonna think and search around for a while before I decide what to do. I just know that Im still not ready for the big world medication free. I still have temptations, and though I never act on them, I feel like maybe my head is saying the sub is "protecting me". I have to get out of that mind set and get my shit together thats for sure. Im in no hurry, but its been over a year and a half, and I feel like I could be doing more for my recovery. I dont know, maybe I over-think the whole thing. Im just gonna keep living the straight and narrow....its much better this way! And thanks for the beams once again....you know how I love "em! Talk to you soon, Deanna
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Unread 05-02-2010, 08:02 AM   #107
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Deanna, early in my recovery I went to a lot of gender group meetings. They were not 12 step based, they were ran by a therapist. I really enjoyed them and I got a great deal out of them.

I'm just going to throw this out there, simply because I know I feel this way at times, with the AA/NA meetings some times they don't sit well with me, because it is all problems, problems, problems. Well yeah, problems need to be addressed, but for me, I need forward thinking and the more up side of recovery. If that makes any sense?

I might be wrong, as I only know you by what you share here, but, maybe your the same in some respects. You need the up side of things, the lving part of it, I guess is the way for me to say it.

As for Suboxone, for me it was not about time or how long I might need it for the disease of addiction, but, more about progression and me being able to always be moving forward. So I simply kept taking my dose down, little by little as I figured myself out and left it at that and stayed more in the living life mode.

Have a good Sunday!

Mike
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Unread 05-02-2010, 08:44 AM   #108
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Thanks Mike! Yes, you hit the nail on the head! I always got sick of listening to everyone talk about what they did, where they did it, how they did it, blah blah blah. I will find somewhere to go that I truly like, somewhere that I look forward to going, and I know it will be meant to be. And you have a great sunday too! Deanna
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Unread 05-09-2010, 10:41 AM   #109
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Hey Deanna, wanted to say hello and Happy Happy Mothers Day!

Mike
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Unread 05-11-2010, 11:59 AM   #110
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Thanks Mike! This week I went back to 2mg again. I have been feeling really weird lately.....totally lethargic, for no reason, so I think maybe i need to go back down in dose again. We'll see how it goes this time around..... Today I feel like I have an ear infection or something. I woke up at like 3am with this shooting pain in my left ear. And my throat kinda hurts and my head feels foggy. I hate being sick, Im such a wimp. Didnt even go to the gym today, so you know Im not feeling great.
I got the AA book this weekend that belonged to my uncle! My brother also gave me his old NA book. I was so excited to finally get them from him. (he came down from Michigan for mothers day). Im anxious to start reading. Still off work, besides that 5 day gig, so I will have time to read thats for sure. Deanna
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Unread 05-13-2010, 06:26 AM   #111
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Hi Deanna, sorry to hear about ear infections, I hope those antibiotics are kicking in so you can hear at the concert tomorrow!

Feeling any better that you've gone back to 2mg? Hope so.

That's really cool that you have your brother's and your uncle's books. Makes it even more special!

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Unread 05-14-2010, 04:38 PM   #112
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Thanks Nancy! Im feeling alright....my ear infection is finally going away. Im doing ok at 2 mg, but I think most of the lethargy was from being sick. I will hold staedy at 2mg for a while and see how things go. Thanks for asking! Deanna
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Unread 05-18-2010, 06:00 AM   #113
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Hi Deanna, is your ear infection gone now? Hope so.

Feeling better - how's the lethargy?

Nancy
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Unread 05-18-2010, 04:30 PM   #114
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Hi Nancy The ear infection is gone thank goodness. Took the last of the antibiotics yesterday. I went to the doctors today (the sub doctor) and we talked alot about depression and anxiety. He thinks maybe I could have some depression and thats why Im so blah lately, and cant go down any further on my suboxone ever. Ive been sad lately for no reason. I wonder if thats why I used pills in the first place....to make me happy? I think so. So, he gave me a script for Paxil 20mg to try and see if I feel better and then at that time start trying to taper more off the sub. Im gonna give it a try. Its like even when I exercize at the gym for 2 hrs I dont get that "endorphin rush" anymore and I just feel BLAH like I said earlier. I know Im sad cause Ive been laid off so long, and that contributes alot to how I feel, but, hey, if the Paxil helps me, it sure cant hurt anything. Thank you so much for asking about me NancyB, it really does mean alot to me. Deanna
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Unread 05-18-2010, 09:38 PM   #115
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Deanna...I really hope the paxil works for you It is no fun to feel that way anyway just wanted to say hi an hope you get to feeling better
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Unread 05-18-2010, 10:08 PM   #116
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Hi Deanna ............ Hey when I began to feel a little sluggish or lethargic as you feel, those were the times I lowered my dose some. Early on, I would lower it by 2mg, then by 1mg and then when I was down to 2mg I would simply do a 1/2mg reduction. I didn't worry about it, I didn't give it a second thought, I just followed what my body was telling me, adjusted as needed, down or up and went on with enjoying my recovery! That is what worked for me. So even though your lethargy was due to being ill, keep this in mind.

As for anxiety and/or depression, hey, it can go with the disease! For those who have had chronic depression in their life, Sub can be a great help, for those of us who experience anxiety and/or depression due strictly to brain changes caused by this disease, often times Sub cannot help and we need to treat it. This is how my doctor in a broad way, explained it to me. Again, just like with addiction, don't get hung up in needing to treat it medically. Do it smartly and with confidence. For my anxiety I ended up being able to cut my Cymbalta dose in half as time went on and as I healed and found other tools to use. Again, just as I did with my Sub dose!

From reading your comments about the gym and not feeling that natural high afterwards, maybe that is your body signaling you to lower your Sub dose just a tad.

Remember, we are a work in progress and this is a process! The goal is progression and being proactive. And above all, focusing on living life. If we do those things and make those things are focus, then we stand a good chance of making recovery stick very long term.

These are the things you have been doing, so don't let the little bumps rattle you, stay the course, keep being you! Motivated, life loving and moving forward!

Hey Crystal did wonderful tonight but whew, that Lee really turned it up a notch! Next week will be exciting!

Mike
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Unread 05-20-2010, 12:32 PM   #117
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Hey, deanna, just checking in on you. Glad to see you're doing well! I take 25 mg of Zoloft per day and would not be a happy person without it. I wish that I were one of those people who does not need medication, but unfortunately, I have obsessive-compulsive tendencies that come out without medication and get in the way of me leading a successful life. 25 mg is the lowest dose they make of Zoloft that my doctor knows about, and it works fine for me. I've been taking it for 5 years.

Prior to Zoloft, I tried Prozac, Wellbutrin, Buspar, Lithium, Risperdal, and like ten other medications. It can really take awhile to figure out the right medicine and dosage. Patience is key!

I hope that you find what works best for you!

As for meetings, I've been back and forth on those, but mostly "no" about them. The part that freaks me out about them, that I find unacceptable, is the apparent lack of boundaries inherent in the program - or, at least, in the fellowship where I'm located. You're supposed to give people rides and talk them through their sh*t and some of these folks want you to hold their hand - literally - through every decision they make. I can barely lead my own life independently, much less guide someone else through theirs. I understand that it's a process, but I feel strange about it all. People in the rooms ask me where I work all of the time and then proceed to ask me questions about it. It is too invasive and lacks the anonymity that I feel is necessary for a successful recovery, for me.

Anyway, those are just my thoughts. Good luck and keep up the great work!

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Unread 05-21-2010, 12:16 PM   #118
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Thanks guys! Hi jeanelle, thank you for your support!
Hi Mike. Hey, I know what your saying about thinking my sub dose might be too high, but thats just it....whenever I try to go lower than 2 mg, I start getting all freaked out, and agitated, and sad etc etc, so thats why my doctor wants me to try the Paxil to see if it helps me feel better so I can eventually start lowering my dose further. I understand the lethargy can be from too high a dose because thats how Ive always dropped before and its been great up until this point. Its only been 3 days on the Paxil, so I dont feel any "different" yet. I will go back to my doctor next month, and go from there. And with the gym, I also think that maybe I dont get that endorphin rush as easy any more due to the fact that I do cardio for a whole hour straight, and my body is getting used to the hard training. i might have to switch up workouts. After a while your body adjusts, and you have to crank it up a notch. Thanks for your insight, Mike, its always greatly appreciated!
Hi sugar! Thanks for the post! Im glad you mentioned the fact that you had to try alot of different medications before you found the one that worked...not that it was any fun for you during that time....but my doctor did mention that when he put me on the Paxil. he said paxil is good for anxiety, depression and also obsessive compulsive disorder like you mentioned you have trouble with. I hope it makes me feel better, my goal is to be medication free, but if I have to take something, then so be it. And no, I havent gone to any meetings yet. I feel ya on your comment about lack of boundaries. I agree 100%. Hope all is well with you, you sound good! Take care!
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Unread 05-21-2010, 01:19 PM   #119
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deanna View Post
I hope it makes me feel better, my goal is to be medication free, but if I have to take something, then so be it.
Deanna
Hi Deanna, that's what I like to hear! Quality of life. If you need the Paxil or something else for that, so be it is right!

From: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/d...s/a698032.html
It may take several weeks or longer before you feel the full benefit of paroxetine.

So, hopefully you'll start feeling better with it soon. If not, then there are others that your doctor can switch you to to see if a different one might work.

That's a good idea about switching up your workout. I'm hoping that helps you get some energy back.

You're doing great Deanna. You're thinking every through and looking at it from all different angles - fabulous!!

Nancy
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Unread 05-22-2010, 08:37 AM   #120
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Hi Nancy! Thanks for posting that information. I spent a lot of time reading up on the medication and reading commments posted from other people taking it. It makes me nervous to be taking the stuff actually. I just keep having these feelings that it sure would be nice to not have to take ANYTHING and see what my body actually feels like. I guess I have to keep reminding myself what you say about "quality of life" and also what momof2 says "its a process not a race". I guess I did alot of damage through 8 yrs of opioid abuse, so its not going to happen overnight that Im back to how I was before all of this happened. Who knows, maybe I never will be just like that again. All I can do is keep moving forward and be thankful Ive come so far from back in September 2008 Deanna
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Unread 05-28-2010, 06:44 PM   #121
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Damn woman, look how far you've come. You should be damned proud of yourself, I am! Don't overthink it. If you need an AD right now, you need one. Might just be for a little bit while working through all this. If you're doubting the paxil stuff, tell your doctor to look something else instead that doesn't have those harsh WD people talk about.

Just be comfy with what you decide. I'm behind you if you, I'm behind if you don't. I just want you to be happy. Wow, how mushy of me. I better jet. Beam hug!! -Mary
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Unread 05-29-2010, 08:16 AM   #122
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Hi Mary! Thanks for the beams! Im actually feeling pretty good since Ive been taking the medicine. The doctor gave it to me more for anxiety than depression. Ive always been pretty high strung and get freaked out about stupid stuff. And holy crap Ive been laid off for almost 6 months now, and that definately doesnt help. Well, besides the one week job I did, but still.... So, anyways, once I get back to feeling 100% ( if thats possible!) I will start doing my little taper again. Right now Im at 2-2.5.
have a great weekend! Deanna
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Unread 05-31-2010, 09:56 AM   #123
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Hey Deanna ............ wanted to stop by and say howdy! .......... I agree, both Lee and Crystal are going to do well. It's been years and years since I have been excited about a artist coming out with a new album (well CD now) so it's been kind of extra fun following Crystal as she moved through the show.

You know and I think we chatted about this before, but, she and Lee make a hell of a duet, so it would be really cool if they got together after he is finished with his idol contract and made a CD.

So what's up with the casino up there? How long until they are going to need you iron workers to get in there and begin building? I hope you get on with that project, as it will be a solid job site with good money coming in.

Glad your feeling well and treating the anxiety. Your doing it right girl, your living life and finding the enjoyment in it, in spite of the bumps along the way!

So how is the boy doing? School is about over, right? ........ Does he compete during the summer months?

Have a GREAT Memorial Day, we have rain down here, but, there are still many things going on. The city canceled our Son's color guard event this morning, so we are just going to hit the cemetery later.

Mike
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Unread 06-01-2010, 09:31 AM   #124
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Hi Deanna! I'm so happy to hear that the medication is helping! Any word on any upcoming work for you? I hope there's some coming up soon.

Just wanted to say hi!!



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Unread 06-03-2010, 02:25 PM   #125
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Hi Mike!Hi NancyB! Sorry it took me a few days to get back here! Im doing pretty good, went back down to 2mg and feeling really good lately. Hopefully the Paxil is the thing I needed to get me feeling normal again. Still not working though, and going to the union hall every morning. This is the longest Ive ever been laid off in my career....almost 6 months now, besides the little job I did. The casino is supposed to start in a few weeks, the pile drivers are there now. And there are a few others bigger size jobs supposed to be starting in July.

My son is doing great! His birthday is next week, he will be 17. He is thinking of competing in Nationals on June 20th. Its in Springfield, Ohio. he's not sure yet though if he wants to wait til the fall to compete again. Hes been trying to get 315lbs on the bench first. His anxiety is alot better lately, he hasnt taken any medicine (klonopin) in months now.

My husband is doing good too, he's at 2mg also. hes been working 7 days a week at his painting business, its doing really good thank God. He's picking up the slack from me! Thats what a marriage is all about though....a partnership.

Thanks for checking in on me Mike and Nancy!!! Oh, and guess what Nancy? I havent even gotten through the P90X tapes yet! Holy crap are they hard!!!

See ya guys! Deanna
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Unread 06-04-2010, 06:55 AM   #126
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Hi Deanna! That's great that you're feeling really good! I'm really happy for you. You just needed a little extra help - nothing wrong with that. Back to 2mg is fabulous. Looks like you'll have a lot of work coming up - I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I'm glad your sons anxiety is alot better too. That's great that he hasn't needed the klonopin, but I bet he feels better knowing that it is there IF he needs it again. Like a safety net type of thing. 315lbs? Y-i-k-e-s is all I can say.

And hubby at 2mg too. Wow, he really is busy. Which is a blessing in this economy! Good for him. I'm sure he does high quality work to stay that busy.

OMG Deanna, if you can't do those tapes, no way am I going to even attempt to open the box! hahahaha I'd probably have a heart attack.

I'm really thrilled for you and your family - great news all around!


Nancy
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Unread 06-05-2010, 08:33 AM   #127
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Thank you Nancy You always brighten my day!Off to the gym I go!
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Unread 06-06-2010, 09:35 AM   #128
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Hiya Deanna! ........... Hey, it sounds as if your going to have plenty of work soon, I know that will help you a bunch just to be out there everyday making a buck and being active!

Hey happy birthday to your son! It sounds like he is doing great! If he goes to Springfield let me know, my son and I might ride over if we can, it's only about 45 min. west of us.

ha, we could use a good painter, darn shame you guys are so far north. I would be calling your husband. and your right, that is what marriage is all about. I worked 6 days per week, at least 12 hours per day for the first 17 years together with Dawn and now she has carried the ball for the past 6. Not that she didn't work before, but she was parttime and I was fulltime and now we have flipped it. Hopefully soon we will both be fulltime.

Have a GREAT weekend Deanna!

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Unread 06-07-2010, 10:11 AM   #129
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Deanna .......... I hope your alright, been thinking about you with the weather issues which took place up there!

Mike
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Unread 06-08-2010, 12:44 PM   #130
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Hey woman, you're feeling good! Woo hoo! And back to 2 both you and your husband. Very cool! Happy birthday to your son and good luck if he does his thing on the 20th. Sounds like you might be up to eyeballs in work soon too. That would be awesome!

Just wanted to say hey and see how it was going. I'm psyched that you're doing better! Beam hug my friend! -Mary
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Unread 06-08-2010, 07:10 PM   #131
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Hi Mary! Yea, all is going good right now, well besides the being laid off thing....but I really do feel better. its hard to explain, but I just feel....happier. Ive been feeling alot better at the gym too. I went 6 times last week! Now that Im feeling good at 2 again, Im going to start dropping by .5 every month and before ya know it I'll be done! No rush, of course, but honestly, if I keep feeling this good, I see no reason I cant start tapering off. It almost feels like I found the missing piece to the puzzle if that makes any sense. I think I was always self medicating with the oxys and beer to try to feel "happier" ,and here all along, maybe this Paxil stuff is what I needed...
Hey, thanks for the beam hug! Got any "get a job" beams???
Oh, and thanks too for the bday wish for my son!! Deanna
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Unread 06-14-2010, 04:00 PM   #132
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Hey woman, I just read you worked at a nuke plant like 3rd shift? Are you glowing? ONLY KIDDING. Man, when I sent those job beams, I didn't mean a graveyard shift at a nuke plant. I better go fine tune those puppies...

Annnnyways. Very cool about feeling happier. I like that. Sometimes we just need an adjustment in our chem make up. Don't see any reason you can't start tapering either. If it works, cool, if not, back up. Or maybe do a 2 one day 1.5 the next type gig and you'll be down to 1.5 soon enough.

Ok, I'm heading back to the lab to tweak those damn job beams.

Beam hugs! (hope those work and I didn't squish you...) -Mary
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Unread 06-18-2010, 01:12 PM   #133
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Hey Mary! Send some more job beams! Ill take whatever jobs I can get! I'll tell you, working nights totally sucks. I was fallling asleep driving home! But, made a little money (double time rocks!), and there is another project out there soon that the company said they want me to come back for. It was pretty crazy working there. They have these guys walking around with machine guns! And, nope, Im not glowing...they test you for that every day! You stand in this booth and this computer checks you and says "3,2,1....clean!" Im like, yea, no kiddin!! Lol!
Anyways, good to hear from you! All is good still, and Im tapering 1.5, 2, 1.5, (like you mentioned) this month. Next month who knows! See ya! Deanna
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Unread 06-18-2010, 07:11 PM   #134
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Hi deanna,

I just wanted to say hello. I read this thread all the time to see how you are doing but I have no idea why I have never posted. Probably because I have not started tapering yet, still trying to get stable at one dose, so I certainly do not have any advice for tapering yet.

BUT, I want you to know how proud of you I am and also to let you know what an inspiration you are to me. I think it is so incredible what you do for a living! Do you know any other women that have the same job, or that you work with? How do the men treat you?? Do they treat you like one of the guys or do they clean up their 'talk' when you are around. I'm mostly asking because at one time I was going to be a cop. I went to college for that, and did a whole you placement with the local police force. At that time, their were NO other women, and some of the older men hated that I was there and refused to work with me. Also some of them would really talk dirty and nasty, to see if it would freak me out, I guess, not really sure. Other men were awesome and I really loved working with them. Anyway, that is completely different than your job, but it is still a male dominated career.

I am also happy to hear that you are feeling better and doing well on Paxil. I have suffered from depression all of my life and I am sure that is what led me to self medicate with opiates. I truly though they were a lifesaver, until they completely turned on me and made me feel the worst depression ever. Anyway, I have taken almost all antidepressants, and I found that Celexa had the least amount of side effects, but I felt the best I have ever felt in my life on Paxil. I am considering going back on it, as I am not on anything right now. I wanted to get stable on Sub first before I started taking anything else. When I stopped taking Paxil, I did not have any withdrawals at all.

I think you are doing awesome. You have been through a lot and you always seem to handle everything well. I am glad to hear that your son is feeling better. He sure must be in awesome shape to be able to bench 315lbs, that is amazing.

So, thanks for starting this thread and talking about your taper. I love your honesty and that you are able to talk freely here about how you are doing.

Take care,
Lizzy
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Unread 06-19-2010, 07:00 AM   #135
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Hi Deanna! That's great that those people want you back for their next job. I hope it's regular hours, but you get the double time pay!

How's the alternating doses going? I hope well. I'm just so glad you're feeling better and the Paxil is helping. You deserve every bit of happiness.

Is your son going to be competing tomorrow?

You're doing great Deanna. I always look forward to your updates.
Have a great weekend!

Nancy
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Unread 06-19-2010, 09:13 AM   #136
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Thanks Nancy and Lizzy!!!

Lizzy- Thanks so much for writing to me. I wrote you a post in the morning thread yesterday. I think its very cool you went to school to be a cop! Can you still do it? I get those guys once in a while that try to intimidate me, but Ive been in the trade for 10 years, and Ive learned how to handle the tough ones. I throw it right back at them. And yes, the Paxil is really helping "even" me out. Keep in touch with me Lizzy, I like hearing from you!!!

Nancy- Hello! Everything is going good in the tapering department. I think with taking the Paxil, its helping me feel better, which enables me to lower my dose of sub. Does that make sense? Its almost like I had to stay at 3 mg to be "happy" but now since ive been taking the Paxil, its easy to taper so far. Weird, maybe, but its working!
My son isnt going to get in Nationals tomorrow...he decided to wait and work out all summer and put on some more muscle (if thats possible!) Always good to hear from you Nancy!

See ya! Deanna
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Unread 06-21-2010, 06:29 AM   #137
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Hi Deanna! You absolutely make sense with the Paxil helping. It sounds like you just needed that to help with the anxiety and now that you're feeling better, not so anxious, you're more relaxed and the taper is easier. Don't be bummed out about your taper taking longer than you thought it would. You're doing the right thing by letting your body guide you. Quality of life right? (Broken record here, hahaha) You'll get there.

Have you given your son the P90x to see if he can do it? That ought to build him some more muscle! I saw an ad for it the other day and just watching it made me tired...

Keeping my fingers crossed that you get some more work soon!

I'm so happy to hear you're feeling good, you deserve it Deanna.

Nancy
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Unread 06-21-2010, 07:32 PM   #138
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Hey Deanna, I just wanted to say hello!

I was up in your neck of the woods yesterday, off RT. 2 by the nuclear reactor! .......... over at Camp Perry!

I hope your doing well.

Chat soon!

Mike
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Unread 06-27-2010, 08:34 AM   #139
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Hi guys! Its been over a month now since I started the Paxil and I feel soooo much better. I didnt have Any of the side effects that people talk about. i read about weight gain...these people saying they gained like 30 lbs, and I didnt even gain 1 lb! All I know, is that its working, and hopefully everything will fall into place tapering off suboxone.
My doctor told me last time that when I get to the end of medication treatment, he will give me a small script and I can use it as needed, meaning kinda like a person needing nitrogylcerin would. I think thats kind of a good idea. Say at the end, you take a small amount like once every other day, and then once every three days..etc. etc. When I get to 1 mg a day, I think I will start taking it every other day after that, instead of .5 every day, to get used to not taking a pill every morning. I think I will go review Marys taper thread again, she had a good plan!!!! Deanna
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Unread 06-27-2010, 04:29 PM   #140
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Hi Deanna,

I am so happy that the Paxil is working so well for you. I felt the best I have ever felt on Paxil, but like every other antidepressant, it stopped working for me after about a year and a half. I don't know why but that is just my experience. It happens with every AD I have ever been on. I didn't have any side effects from Paxil either. I did gain a little bit of weight but I also really needed to at the time. You are really active between working out and your job, so I am sure that you will not have any problems with your weight. I am considering going back on Paxil. I wanted to get stable on Sub first to see how I felt. I have been feeling a little funky lately, but have also been under a lot of stress. The last couple of weeks have so busy with wrting and marking exams, reprot cards, graduation, and I also have to move classrooms after being in the same room for over 12 years and I have accumulated so much stuff that's a huge job. I have one week of work left and then I am off for the summer. I am a little anxious about that because I always used so much more in the summer and this is the first summer that I have been clean in many, many years. I don't like not having a routine and am a bit obssessive compulsive about things like that. When my routine is broken for any reason, it can ruin the rest of my day. I know that the Paxil helps with all of that, or it did the last time I was on it, so I am thinking I better get back on it. Anyway, I am hoping to start every day by going to the gym to work out, and hopefully if I start every day like that, the rest of the day will go well.

I am also glad that your taper is going well. I have heard of a few people, once they get to 1mg, split the dose in half to .5 every day. The half life of Sub is a lot shorter at small doses, so you may find when you get to 1mg, the effects of the Sub do not last as long. Anyway, you are doing really well and I can tell how much better you are feeling in your last few posts.

How is your new job going? I am sure that helps also knowing you have full time employment. Do you ususally work with the same people? I really think it is so awesome that your are a welder! I now picture you as the woman in Flashdance since you mentioned it. I am glad that you don't have to work in a strip club a night though!! lol

So, just wanted to drop by and say hello and am so happy that you are doing so well. You really are an inspiration to all of us here and definately a Sub success story. Keep up the awesome work!
Lizzy
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Unread 06-28-2010, 08:17 AM   #141
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deanna View Post
Hi guys! Its been over a month now since I started the Paxil and I feel soooo much better. I didnt have Any of the side effects that people talk about. i read about weight gain...these people saying they gained like 30 lbs, and I didnt even gain 1 lb! All I know, is that its working, and hopefully everything will fall into place tapering off suboxone.
My doctor told me last time that when I get to the end of medication treatment, he will give me a small script and I can use it as needed, meaning kinda like a person needing nitrogylcerin would. I think thats kind of a good idea. Say at the end, you take a small amount like once every other day, and then once every three days..etc. etc. When I get to 1 mg a day, I think I will start taking it every other day after that, instead of .5 every day, to get used to not taking a pill every morning. I think I will go review Marys taper thread again, she had a good plan!!!! Deanna
Hi Deanna! I'm thrilled to hear that the Paxil is working for you and you're not having any of the side effects. It definitely will help you with your taper because when you feel better, everything seems to be easier to deal with in general.

Sounds like a good plan to go every other day to get out of the taking something every day routine. Who knows, you could just lose track of when you took it and go days without even thinking about it!!

You're doing great!!!

Nancy
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Unread 06-28-2010, 08:21 AM   #142
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The half life of Sub is a lot shorter at small doses, so you may find when you get to 1mg, the effects of the Sub do not last as long.
Hi Lizzy, I just wanted to clarify that the half life doesn't get shorter at lower doses. It's always an average of 37 hours. But percentage wise, when at a lower dose, that amount gets cut in half more quickly. Like when someone takes 16mg, in 37 hours 8mg of that will still be working. But at 1mg in 37 hours, only .5 is still working. So it's actually a matter of the amount of Suboxone someone is taking that is less after that 37 hours, not the length of the halflife.

I hope I explained that ok.

Nancy
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Unread 07-03-2010, 08:39 AM   #143
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Hi guys. All is well....havent been here for a while, my Dad is in the hospital, he had triple bypass surgery a couple days ago, unexpectedly. I will check in again ASAP. Deanna
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Unread 07-03-2010, 10:04 AM   #144
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Hi Deanna, I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad's surgery. I hope that he heals quickly.

Thinking of you.

Nancy
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Unread 07-03-2010, 12:13 PM   #145
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Deanna, I am so sorry to hear of your fathers surgery. I hope he has a full recovery. Take care of yourself and I will say a prayer for both of you. Your friend, Linda
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Unread 07-10-2010, 09:41 AM   #146
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Thanks for your well wishes to my Dad, I wrote about him this morning in the morning thread today. He will get better, eventually. just sucks to see him so helpless so to speak.
Lizzy_ i know what you mean about habits, and this being your first summer in recovery. My first summer was totally weird to me. i was used to getting an 80mg oxycontin, just to cut the grass!!! And a six pack to go with it. It was so odd for me the first time I did activities where I used to be high. I quickly learned that things were so much better with a clear head, and I had no problem at all. Now it is SO empowering to be able to be happy and addiction free that I will never give up this blessing of sobriety in my entire life. With my Dad in the hospital right now......shoot, 2 yrs ago I would have had to get totally loaded just to deal with everything thats going on with him. i would be running to the dealer probably twice a day. Now, its such a great feeling to not waste all that time on the dumb stuff. This Thursday will be a year and 10 months for me of addiction remission. I look back, and think man, I am so glad I survived that terrible time. And through all the bullshit that ever comes my way, I dont need drugs to cope. So, anyway, you will see that it will be a great summer for you,.
I havent started the new job yet. I was all excited about it, and now here I sit, waiting to get started. Dont know what the hold up is, they said it would only be a week or so and its been like 3 weeks already. maybe everything happens for a reason, that Im supposed to be there for my Dad while he is in the hospital, and when he gets out, Ill get the call!!!?

Take care everyone! Oh, and holding steady this week with 2mg. Seeing the doctor next Thursday.....Deanna
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Unread 07-10-2010, 11:14 AM   #147
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Hi deanna! I have missed being around here as much lately but I have been reading and catching up. You are doing so good and you have such a postitive attitude-it just makes me smile to read how far you have come and I know how hard you have worked to get here! Isn't it just a blessing to be able to live life addiction free!

Sorry about your dad's illness. Sounds like he will be ok, just time to heal. It is very tough to see our loved ones in a weakened condition. You are right about if your job had started you wouldn't have had this time to spend with your dad and that could have caused you more stress. Everything happens for a reason, and in my case anyway, I know I have someone looking out for me to make sure the right things fall into place-little mini-miracles all the time.

Keep up the good work and keep enjoying everything that life has to offer!

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Unread 07-11-2010, 09:00 AM   #148
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Nan! Thankyou....I literally have goosebumps reading your post! I appreciate you talking to me. You have had so many obstacles to overcome since Ive "known" you and it reminded me how I always love reading what you have to say and that you are always so inspiring. You and I....well we make lemons out of lemonade dont we?!
Yea, Ive had my share of anxiety, but when I put it up next to the bigger priblems people are facing, I just step back and am grateful that i chose to live addiction free, because when I was in active addiction, it was ALL ABOUT ME, and now I can focus on doing good for others, and being there for them....truly being there for them.

thanks Nan, Deanna
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Unread 07-13-2010, 03:28 PM   #149
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Hi Deanna, just checking in to see how you're dad is doing.

How are YOU? Hope you're taking care of yourself while your dad is ill.

Did you find out when you can start work yet?

Just wanted to say hi.

Nancy
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Unread 07-14-2010, 09:05 AM   #150
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Hi Deanna ........... Just checking in to see how you are doing and how your father is doing! He has been in my thoughts and prayers. I hope he is feeling better.

Mike
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