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Unread 10-01-2016, 03:53 PM   #351
Sam Bailey
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Hey Glen!

Glad to see you on the site...and to know that you're doing pretty well. I know that YOU know to be careful with tapering too far up on your Sub.

I really did find that 2mgs was the best "working" dose for me...and that higher doses didn't increase the potency or any value, not for me anyway. Of course I didn't have the kind of pain issues you have.

In any case, you sound good.

I also regularly look to see if Deanna has posted again, but it's been (I think) two+ months since she's posted any update. I do hope that she's okay. She always sounded strong, but then, as we all know, what she had to face was something that no amount of strength could make iall okay. Nothing could do that.

People do leave, as we both know. So, who knows? Maybe Deanna had said all she needed to, or wanted to. Maybe posting here was too much of a reminder of the pain she suffered.

I surely don't know. Whatever it is, I hope she is comforted and well. You know, the whole happy thing!

Again, good to see that you're doing so well.

sam
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Unread 10-02-2016, 06:19 AM   #352
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Hi Glen! you sound like that guy on the Ancestry tv ad who thought he was German but ends up he was Irish or Scottish or whatever. lol I'm glad you blocked something that really gets you going. A lot of people don't and just keep getting irritated to no end.

How much time in between the bupe do you let lapse? I would be inclined to think that you felt dull on 4mg of the film because you got better absorption from it than the generic tablets. A lot of people switching from the generics to the film/Zubsolv/Bunavail find they need less and vice versa.

I would imagine it's natural that you feel that lost connection. Losing your brother could have you asking 'why' consciously or even subconsciously and it ends up bringing up that doubt. Maybe it's something for you to explore more? Are you going to join any church choirs for the holiday season?

After 18 million days of no clouds or rain, it's ironic that you're looking to string two sunny days together now. Weather in the northeast, you gotta love it. lol

You take good care of you and Mrs. Bear. Any time you pop by is a treat!!

Nancy
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Unread 10-02-2016, 11:14 PM   #353
theswan
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Hello Sam and Nancy

I don't know why I did not like the suboxone film but I really dont have to worry since I take the subutex. I just wanted to try it is all.

Sam, I did troll over to Deanna's postings and did notice she has not posted for a while. I think she is ok. I know I am very long in writing because there is so much else to do and the bupe issue is not as important as early on and then tapering. I am curious from time to time and that is why I stop by.

I have my ups and downs but am concerned about choir and fishing. They were both passions and I have little interest-same with church. Church is a whole other story that is way to deep to get into but bottom line, after the fiasco at my beloved church where the new pastor fired the music director and basically all the volunters, I have a sour taste for the higher ups in my church. I love the new pope but just dont feel a longing anymore.

This may change and I may get to sing again-I do miss it but want to be in the right place so I trust God will guide me.

Glen
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Unread 10-03-2016, 11:01 AM   #354
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Hi Glen, Sam, Nancy.

Nancy, so you had 18 million days of sunshine? I'm coming to your house!! Mind you, gotta say that over here we've had a rather excellent summer. Today (Monday 3rd Oct) is the first day it's felt rather chilly, bbrrgghh Oh well, here we go again; soon be xmas (but I don't wanna say the "C" word here as it's rude.

Glen sorry to hijack matey. Good to hear you. So you can really tell how much ancestry you got from DNA? Wow.

Hi Sam. Hope you're well. It's good to hear two of my old friends here. Sorry three with Nancy. So you've all not heard from Deanna for a while? I too hope she is doing ok. As you said she's been through a horrible time and I often find myself thinking of my first friend here, saying a prayer for her. I hope she returns soon or/and she's doing ok.

I am still free of opioid dependence. Though I am still dependant on pregabalin. I tried to detox cold turkey a little while ago but felt so unwell. I don't find I suffer from anxiety these days so plan to do a taper. I am rather an 'expert' on that given the experience I had on subs/tapering here. The withdrawal is actually rather similar. Mostly chills, headache, big insomnia for at least three days solid, and depressive thoughts. But at least I get a whole months supply and don't have to visit my pharmacy on a weekly basis.

Anyway, better post this as it's getting too long to lose. So big love to all from over the pond xxxxxxx

Leo
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Unread 10-04-2016, 07:17 AM   #355
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Hi Glen, Hi Leo! hahaha yes, 18 million days of sunshine and no rain. Which wasn't very good as we've been in a bit of a drought this past summer. But, what can you do about the weather, right? I'm glad you had a good summer! Yes, it's hard to believe it's October already. I'm with Glen about Deanna. She had said a few times that she really didn't have much to say. So, like Glen and you, I'm sure she'll pop in from time to time. Which is always nice to see your names! I'm glad you'll be doing a slow taper from the pregabalin. Are there any comfort meds that would help with that?

Glen, are there any non-church choirs you can join? I saw the end of a clip on the Boston PBS channel the other night about a group of men who get together and sing just for the love of singing. This is the show they were on:
http://singthatthing.wgbh.org/ It's that Vocal Revolution group http://vocalrevolution.org/ - maybe there's something similar near you like that.

Hope everyone has a great day!

Nancy
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Unread 10-04-2016, 11:58 AM   #356
Leo
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Hi Nancy (excuse me Glen for butting in to your thread again).

Em, there are some comfort meds I can use when coming off pregabalin and I intend to do this. Valerian works well for me so I'll be using that. I am on mirtazapine so, with regards to sleep, I don't wanna use a histermine type med as the mirtazapine does the same sort of thing. But I only get full insomnia etc if I go cold turkey. Just like buprenorphine, If I taper properly with around ten percent dose adjustments with generous time between drops to allow my body to adjust,t I don't foresee a problem, I've done this before with this drug. Also, due to the very short half life of pregabalin (six hours) I find that comfortable adjustments can be made on a weekly to ten daily basis. With buprenorphine I personally found that I needed to give my body at least two weeks following a drop in dose to comfortably withdraw. In fact I think when I came off bup I was leaving it around a month between drops. I would recommend this to others as it make drops much easier to adjust to, plus it gives time to deal with other areas of life that may need working on, post addiction.

Hey Glen, what about joining a local choir as Nancy mentioned? You may remember, when I was here tapering and talking with you lovely people I joined a local choir singing for fun myself. A brilliant time!

love to all .

Leo from UK
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Unread 11-28-2016, 12:56 AM   #357
theswan
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Hello Nancy and Leo

Leo, I was on Lyrica which I believe is pregabelin. It worked great and elevated my mood almost to say I felt a high but a calm mild one. After a few days I upped the dose then again but felt it wore off after maybe two weeks, I tried it again a few months later with the same result and then again a third time and said the heck with it. I also has a mild withdrawal but was not on it too long.
Last year into this I tried gabapentin known as nurerontin and that helped slightly but I felt dizzy and went off slowly. I've been off a few months now.

Had a good thanksgiving-went over to the mom in law with my wife as usual (I thanked her for the nice gift of 50K she gave us-the second this year. I have been lower middle class all my life and having the amount of money I share with my wife is very surreal as I used to live paycheck to paycheck and always bought stuff with an eye on price) Lucky to say she really loves me which is nice. She did not always feel this way. She of course wanted her daughter to marry a doctor or lawyer. She has become very fond of me and that as said feels nice.
Next day we say the kids both the grown nieces and all the many grand nieces and nephews-one more on the way! We had taken them to the "Gazillion bubble show" in Manhattan and they still chirp about how much fun it was. We took a total of 13 kids and adults but got the group rate. Wife and I did not care that much about the price which was high $45 a seat at group rate but regular rate was like $73 a seat
If you have kids it is well worth it believe it or not (what can they do with bubble?-wow a whole lot it turns out)

I still sing along to youtube and miss a choir gig but my health has to improve. Weight loss is and has been the answer. I try each new day and have faith I'll get there but until then any committment seems not a good idea.

Went to a wake of a friends brother who I knew a little bit. He was 30 and Overdosed on heroin. Sad event day after Thanksgiving for sure.

Anyway, doing ok and have 32 pills saved soon to be 40 pills. My goal is to have a months supply just in case.

Not wanting to get political but I am shocked and dismayed. I'll save my anger for another forum.

Hope we hear from Deanna

God bless

Glen da swan
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Unread 11-28-2016, 06:43 AM   #358
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Hi Glen, happy belated Thanksgiving to you too! Wow, what a nice 2nd gift this year. Holy moly! I would suppose that the better gift is that your mother-in-law does love you. Nice of you and Mrs. Bear to treat everyone to that bubble show.

I really hope that you can get your weight loss going. Have you thought about Overeaters Anonymous? I know how much you got out of AA, so maybe OA would be an option - especially for support. Great job on saving bupe! Very proud of you for that, as it had been a struggle for you at times.

I'm very sorry to hear about yet another young life gone because of addiction. My sympathies to his family and all who loved him.

It would be nice to hear from Deanna, especially with the two-year anniversary of Canen a couple of weeks ago. But I'm not worried about her. She was posting less and less (like yourself) and is probably just busy with life.

Always nice to hear from you! Wishing you and Mrs. Bear a Merry Christmas!

Nancy
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Unread 11-28-2016, 10:43 AM   #359
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Hey Glen,

Great to see that you're doing well. Here's hoping your health gets even better.

And yes, a 50K gift is one heck-of-a-present. Also, as Nancy said, great that you treated those other folks.

You're right, this site is not the place for a political stance, at least not a raging one---but dude!, can you freaking believe what happened. Like you, I am shocked and dismayed. My wife is taking it worse than I am. Most of the time we just shake our heads and laugh...otherwise we'll weep like babies. Ha!

Anyway. Four years ain't THAT long. Right?

Best to you, Glen.

sam
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Unread 12-03-2016, 01:01 AM   #360
theswan
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Glad to see Deanna posted.

"President Trump" ?!? I have had a feeling it was all a popularity game and know see the evidence. Tell the people what they want to hear knowing you will not fulfill the promised and rail people up and you are now president.


Anyway, what can I do but give him a chance knowing unemployment is at a low of 4.6% or something like it and the market is booming. Then after 4 years we can see what trickle down has done besides skyrocketing the deficit.

Enough out of me!

We all have our own problems.

Glen

Last edited by theswan; 12-03-2016 at 01:20 AM.. Reason: spell
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Unread 01-25-2017, 05:26 PM   #361
theswan
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Hello again

It has been rough for my wife and me by default. Horror Emergency room story. My wife has had pain in her back and leg so she sees a ortho doctor. She had tried to heal by spiritual means as he religion dictates but eventually she went to the clinic.
Two days later it becomes so bad she is screaming in pain. The pain is in her leg (we find out she has fractured two bones along with "sacral fractures") She is unable to make the MRI scheduled because she cannot even sit long so forget a cab ride. We then find out because she has a stimulator in her backside due to her chronic constipation (a lot worse then it sounds) she cannot have the MRI
I tell her she needs a cat scan but again the problem is getting there. After a few days of her screaming in pain( unless she bedridden )we decide to call the Hatzolah volunteer ambulance-they are very sweet and patient as we take a ride to the ER (also they do not charge) We make the unforgivable mistake of telling the ER doctor what we had done (she saw a doctor) after many hours and a couple of percocet's they say since she saw a doctor, they cannot do anything and we have to make arrangements to get her to a scan. They wheel her out and she is again screaming in pain. I say to the doctor 'where is your compassion? you are sending her home like this?" We get in a cab and she lays across the back seat-I tell her next day we will go to the ER of Cornell'Prespyterian hospital and NOT tell them about as doctor.
After a 23 hour wait (the nurse and doctor were super!) she was admitted and that is how she was diagnosed. They discharged her in pain but that was a different story-they gave her morphine IV then by mouth but discharged her on tramadol-Huh? lucky she had a few percocet left. To their credit she kinda was discharged AMA because they wanted her to go to a long term facility.
I told her to see my pain doctor who has since given her three injections and another morphine precription but she may not need them as the third injection did the trick.
The bad news is we had to hire people to clean and cook and help her around because she is on strict non weight bearing regulations and they prefer bed rest. The sacral bones do not heal well so she has to see the ortho and an endocrine doctor to assist with bone growth (maybe needs a very expensive drug called Forteo or calcition or the like)
Meanwhile we are spending from $80 for 4 hours to $150 a night for overnight aides out of pocket because. well because insurance what else?! They only cover home nursing which she no longer needs (she had a bedsore). Her pain is mostly gone but she is in misery not being able to do stuff but she cheats then has a pain relaspe-cant say I blame her bedrest is not that much rest and certainly not much fun.

I had to help out with her ADLs and stuff and suffered a pain relapse myself. I ended up using all the pills I had stashed (over 40) and am a little short this month.

Anyway things are getting better since she has a lot of help but I pray she heals soon.

Anyway, after last year losing my brother to cancer and the stress of moving, one has to guess 2017 will be better

Swan-Bear or Glen

Last edited by theswan; 01-25-2017 at 05:30 PM.. Reason: grammar
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Unread 01-25-2017, 06:52 PM   #362
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Hi Glen, sorry to hear about Mrs. Swan and that you also ended up in pain. I hope you both not overdo it and that helps the healing process.

Keeping you both in my thoughts.

Nancy
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Unread 01-26-2017, 05:14 PM   #363
theswan
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thanks Nancy
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Unread 02-20-2017, 03:51 PM   #364
theswan
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Hello to all!

Wow what great weather here in the Northeast. It is going up to 68 degrees this week or so they say. Ahhh-hh just makes me feel stronger and younger after winter's cabin fever.
My wife got the green light from her ortho doctor thank goodness. Her back hurts but not like it was hurting. I have to laugh at myself for noting this but she has 6 morphine pills and a dozen or so percocet's. Knowing me, I'd be out of both. She is not addictive (to drugs or alcohol anyway) So she can easily just stop. I was surprised that after several weeks on opiate medication, she had no complaints of withdrawal. She did start breaking the tiny morphine pills in half so it was kinda a taper.
Was at a grand niece's birthday party and had a great time. I wish my wife could make these parties but her ADHD/OCD or whatever it is, gets in the way most times. She has such a blast when she is able to make it. All the young kids from 1 1/2 year old to the 9 year old's gather round her to do drawings and coloring books she brings-then we "grade" them (they always get a gold star)

I think being around the young un's makes us younger or at least we feel that way.

Hope all is well with y'all

Glen
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Unread 02-20-2017, 04:48 PM   #365
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Hi Glen! Yes, wasn't it just beautiful out there yesterday? Lost a lot of snow cover and can now see parts of the lawn.

Glad Mrs. Swan got the ok! Just too bad she wasn't able to go to the party, sounds so darn cute with all the little ones!

Enjoy the warmth we'll be having this week - especially near the weekend.



Nancy
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Unread 02-24-2017, 02:51 AM   #366
theswan
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Thanks
We had a nice day today and tomorrow is supposed to be a mirror image.

Whew! going to the track Friday-just had to get out. Cabin fever! While at the track we like to walk around and watch the horses outdoors. We figure if we are going to the track to stay indoors it will be the same as going to a local off track betting parlor. So this is the first trip of the year

Nice to win money but happy to be out

Glen
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Unread 02-25-2017, 09:29 PM   #367
theswan
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Oh by the way,

Since I had those weeks of helping my wife in and out of bed etc, my back worsened. I am now waking up in agony. I am again trying to lose weight. I gained about 10 pounds from sheer stress eating. I kept thinking maybe my wifes back would not ever heal. A lot of opinion on her issues included up to 6 months of bed rest to heal sacral fractures. Thank God she healed quickly although not out of the woods, she is much better.
My point made quite round about is this. I want one more subutex 2mg a day for the 3-5AM awakenings. I am always using the max dose of 8 pills a day. I looked it up here and June 23rd 2015 was my last increase in dose so I dont think it is asking too much. My doctor was not in so I ran it by the fill-in doctor. He was not going to raise my dose but said my regular doctor is easier going about such things. Then he spoke about the "analgesic ceiling" I had just watch an hour symposium on youtube and it was put on by pain doctors. They now believe long term users of bupe for pain do surpass the ceiling and continue to get positive analgesia. I already know this because I have taken 3 pills of 2mg at a time at least 5 times and it helped. He then went on a litany of non-opiate medications. "Cymbalta" "Lyrica" "muscle relaxers" "creams" etc and etc. I was not being a wise ass just truthful in saying I tried them all and they all failed (except the lyrica but that works great! but only for a couple of weeks then maybe tolarence builds because it just suddenly stops working and I have tired Lyrica around 5 times with the exact same results)
Then, he starts with NY law making 5-7 days of opioid medications. I did not want to dispute him but I think that is for first time "acute" pain patients. I actually think the idea is sound but in practice it is not. Some acute conditions last a lot longer at a severe rate of pain.
I told him if the law is such then of course the last thing I'd want is to get my pain doctor in trouble. He is a real "mensch" a good decent man who returns home a couple of times a year to freely treat patients in Cairo. (get me angry when an exceptionaly nice guy like this gets lumped into a group because he practices Islam)

I guess I'm going into left field now sorry about the rant. I guess I can do alright at 8 pills a day but I had been putting a few away in fact had as many as 41 pills but used them when I was running from ER to ER and Hospital to Hospital with my wife in a wheelchair/walker etc. Stress did cause a lot of my new pain but the running around did as well.

Currently I have 16 put away but like to feel safe with at least a months supply. I do not at all see it as addictive behavior. I see it as common sense. I know what it is like to be low or without and as we all know it sucks big time. With the "Epidemic" in the papers every day and lawmakers always knee jerk reactionaries, it is wise to be prepared. What gets me ticked off is sure maybe the rate of overdose is higher but face it, the person who gets addicted then told "just stop" is going to search alternatives and with fentaynal out there the risk is greater one is going to switch and OD. We ought have a real discussion on harm reduction and I'd start by taking acetamenophen out of all opiates.

OK, sorry said my piece-Heh-heh! or is it Lol?

Bear
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Unread 02-26-2017, 06:21 AM   #368
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Hi Glen, I personally think it's a good idea to have a back-up supply. You just never know what will happen - weather, personal emergency when you can't get to the doctor, etc. I'm a little more worried about your stress eating. Do you think it would help going to OA and perhaps get the support of others? Just a thought. They started running OA ads on the radio here - which made me thing of it. You've been struggling with your weight for a while, so maybe that would be a help and it would help with your sleep apnea as a bonus. I just want you to be happy and healthy.

Nancy
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Unread 03-02-2017, 12:03 AM   #369
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I'd rather get back to church then try OA again. I have no problem with OA and have been there many times. I in fact call my plan to eat right abstainence just as we do in OA (plan the days food intake and stick to it)

I just feel twelve stepped over done. I understand the steps and have them in my life from my going on 30 years of sobriety. Fact is I still must want the crutch of food.

I leave it in my higher power's wise hands and pray each day my obession goes bye bye

Glen
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Unread 03-02-2017, 05:57 AM   #370
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Hi again, you said 'Fact is I still must want the crutch of food.' It's a good thing that you recognize that and maybe getting back to church will help you break the obsession.

Like I said, just want to see you happy and healthy.

Nancy
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Unread 03-26-2017, 04:06 PM   #371
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I am reasonably happy and have been for a while. My main issue is my health which is due in the most part from eating too darn much.

Today was good and tomorrow will take care of tomorrow. I did not over eat today

A few warm days will help.
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Unread 03-27-2017, 05:22 AM   #372
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One day at a time Glen!

Nancy
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