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Unread 05-05-2016, 05:28 PM   #101
Tryntryagain
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Good evening dearest Sam. (**** me), Bright blessings to you.

Did i say **** me?

My dear friend from the mad place in Timbuktu, isn't it terrifying to find out....as a human bod....just our ******* selfs, are actually more than we have ever seen, what we have ever done, wherever we have been, moreover where we have not been......MAKES US.... US.

We are here now. Most likely your fault.

Here's the thing.

I am here, and it is my fault. (Getting this?)

Thank **** i found out that "do what you gotta do". My "fault"....kept me alive young man. So it did.

It is no longer my fault.

Nope....now it is my responsibility.

All of that has come about because i have had to "think on my feet quickly"....no time for my heart.

I have never seen a more wise, understanding if not, compassionate heart on the whole of my journey in life.

For me, you are the air that many breathe.

Breathe it for yourself.

You are truly unique and in my life, a source of energy i could not do without.

Pop that into your Dopamine and endorphins mix and see what it does for you.

Love my dear Sam, oozes out of you. Pop that back from whence it came from....D,s n E,s sorted.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you dear, dear Sam
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Unread 05-07-2016, 05:22 PM   #102
Alexis
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Never read Grapes of Wrath, do i need to add it to my list?

Hope youre ok Sam? thanks for taking care of me this past week x
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Unread 05-09-2016, 03:59 PM   #103
Millie
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Alexis, it's required reading for most American students. It's the story of an American migrant family moving across the country during the depression. It's fabulously written, and an amazing portrait of what that time must have been like. There are parts of it that I still think about to this day. Very worth reading, in my opinion.

And Sam, how's it going?
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Unread 05-09-2016, 06:33 PM   #104
Alexis
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Will add to my list

Yes Sam, how are you ? xx
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Unread 05-10-2016, 09:29 PM   #105
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It's a classic book for sure.how are you Sam?
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Unread 05-13-2016, 03:52 PM   #106
Tryntryagain
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Good evening dearest Sam. Bright blessings to you......

....."Sam Bailey"....when my eyes see the letters...i smile.

How is it in the land of my favourite looney tunes...hmmm?

When my...well. do you remember the Mr Men books?...Mr this and that....and Mr blokey with the quivery bottom lips.....(bless him), .....his mouth was all turned down...Mr Sad....stand him on his ******** head, ...."he's smiling"....Mr Happy.

This family is about knowing which way up we are.

What i adore about you, is you make me tumble naturally. Without anything else, just me.

Dearest Lost Dog....dearest Alexis....seriously...tell me it is not so?

Read the grapes of wrath.

O by the way, you there dear Sam?

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you dearest Sam
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Unread 05-13-2016, 05:45 PM   #107
Sam Bailey
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Hi Guys,

Thank you all for writing, most especially a hearty thanks for your kindnesses and your well-wishes.

Once again, I've been a little sideways the last couple of days. Our water heater finally went to the Great Appliance Store in the Sky and, though not a terribly big deal, there were a box-full of complications that had me bouncing around yesterday, pretty much all day.

Not a biggie though, right? Yeah, except for my goof-ball knees, especially, for some reason, my "almost good right knee." Freaking had me up half the night howling at the moon.

Most specifically, I am, I really am, in some kind of "withdrawals" from lack of running. Crazy, huh? Yet true. My identity is so wrapped in being a runner that it's maddening that I can't do it.

Oh sure, I know how "sick" that is. Certainly is unhealthy, I know. Thing is, and I know what a vanity this is, I am, even at my age, one of the fittest, fastest guys at my local running park. And among all the 60+ codgers, I am far and away the fittest.

Not the most humble, clearly! Sheesh!

And now, once again, I am just a guy in the stands, looking out on the field, wondering, what could have been? Doesn't it make you want to just throw up? Ha!

Oh, there is so damn much ego in this entire dealio. There is, however, something else, something that's not so vain. It's something about being strong and capable of survival.

Except for my flucking knees. Ha!

Ok, enough about those damn knees, Sam! Find a bike or a pool, okay? Well, smarty pants, I have both and I still wanna run.

Seriously, enuf!!!! Ha!

"The Grapes of Wrath" is a novel that all people with even the slightest interest in great literature should read. Must read.

Beyond that, as I've kidded about in other posts, I really am a part of that great Dust Bowl Migration that "Grapes" is based on. Well, not me---my parents. In many ways, my entire family were much like the novel's lead character, Tom Joad.

So it is personal for me. And it's brilliant! The greatest American Novel of all time? Several to choose from, so can't say that for sure...but there are none better. IMO.

Ok, better refill my ice pack.

Thanks again, folks.

sam
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Unread 05-14-2016, 03:14 PM   #108
Sam Bailey
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Hey All!

Although "Chasing the Scream," by Johann Hari, is a book that's mostly about the huge failure the War on Drugs have been, including the terrible harm its done to already very ill people, I think all of you, yep, ALL of you, will find this fast read fascinating. I urge you to read it ASAP.

It may make you half crazy; it will spark the outrage button inside you, no doubt., But, in the end, this will be a good thing.

I picked mine up from one of our local libraries. Btw, for those who haven't been inside some of the libraries today, please go. In many instances, they are far different from the ones we had to whisper in back in the old days, Ha!

In a good to great way!

best,

sam
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Unread 05-14-2016, 06:25 PM   #109
lostdog
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The library is so nice, you can read all the magazines, be in other's company for non-isolation yet be alone. That sounds backward. Hope your knees get better try swimming or elliptical, it's kinda boring to me but doable for the endorphin need. Best wishes!
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Unread 05-17-2016, 06:14 PM   #110
Alexis
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Like the library too, i dont go enough though. i have so many unread books at home. Its good to go and discover something, maybe i will go soon.

How are you holding up Sam? Thanks for being so kind to me and helping me constantly. Love you xx
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Unread 05-18-2016, 09:26 AM   #111
R. Lee
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Have a great day Sam.
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Unread 05-23-2016, 09:32 AM   #112
lostdog
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hope you are having a nice day Sam!
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Unread 05-23-2016, 11:28 AM   #113
Sam Bailey
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Hey LD, RLee and Ms. Alexis!

Thanks all for your kind sentiments. In many ways, I'm good. Terrific in some ways. Always so thankful for the health, and life, of my beautiful family.

My own health is also good. Mostly good, I s'pose I ought to say.

Last several days I've been self-rehabbing my banged up knee and, amazingly, I musta been doing it right. I reallllly stretched out my IT Band, which is that long, really long, hip to below the knee tendon we all have, one up 'n down each leg.

And? Knee pain pretty much gone. So pain-free that I was planning a moderately easy run on Monday (today).

Then, son-of-a-%@! I was leaving a Meeting last night with my son when I suddenly pivoted to say a brief see-you-later to a New Guy---when my flippin' knee....popped.

Just a little twist, for goodness sakes. WTF!! Ha!

Anyway. Noah and Mrs. Sam are suggesting to me that my "rehabbed knee" wasn't really that healed up, otherwise it wouldn't have popped so easily.

Of course, they're right.

Arrrgggghhhh! I freaking hate being injured. I mean, injuries never happened to me a few years ago, like, when I was 35. A few years? HaHa!

Ah crap!

Okay, that's that. Thanks for reading this used-to-be-fit-and-fast-old-guy-at-least-sooooo-close-to-being-an-old-guy's rant.

Yeah, I know. It is beyond true. So much could be worse. I'm really quite the fortunate son. I know this.

But still....

Thanks again, all!

sam
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Unread 05-23-2016, 11:47 AM   #114
lostdog
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Well I'm glad your doing well, except for the knee, but I bet it will heal quick like it did before. Have a nice day in sunny California. It is so pretty there!
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Unread 05-23-2016, 05:39 PM   #115
Millie
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Sam, it makes me so happy to see that you'd made enough progress to even think about trying to run. That's awesome. I hope you can take care of it and get it healed to the point where it won't pop so easily (the thought of that just makes me shudder!).

Thanks for checking in.
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Unread 05-25-2016, 12:34 PM   #116
Alexis
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SO GOOD to hear you are well Sam and yes like Millie said, its great you are even thinking about being able to run. Sorry the knee popped, but slowly does it...!

Love to you always xx
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Unread 05-25-2016, 08:12 PM   #117
R. Lee
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It is all in the game of life Sam. We tend to over due it when on the mend. You were in the right place though.
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Unread 05-26-2016, 08:50 PM   #118
Sam Bailey
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Hey Folks!

Again, big thanks to all of you for your kind words and sentiments. It really is a good thing that you guys are here, that you bother to write to me---and, of course, that we all write to each other.

Isolation has been a major flaw of mine for many years. I mean, in the studios, especially during location shoots, there's always lots of people one must interact with. Some are friends, most are either colleagues or "subjects." So in those cases, isolation is not really an option.

Yet when the day was done, when work was NOT in session, I actively chose, far too often, to isolate myself, far away from human contact. I would, instead, embrace the warmth of a handful of pills. I would substitute drugs for personal relationships.

Dude! That was not healthy. Right? Ha! You bet it wasn't healthy. Despite all the good stuff in my life, lots of good work, friends and family, I kept sinking into the darkness.

I was alone and I liked being alone. Man, it took me a long time to realize that being so alone was the very poison that was making me sick.

Now fact is, I believe it's true. We really need to cultivate in-person human contact, even as we cultivate our relationships here, on line.

That said, I am really grateful for you folks. You all help me. Beyond offering all sorts of good and supportive advice, you help me avoid my isolationist ways!

Yay, all you!!!

I hope I can also help someone, some suffering person, lost in h/her own addiction darkness. To be of service is the greatest thing. One of the greatest, for sure.

Frankly, it saves both sides of this equation: the recipient of service, yes, it does---but also the giver.

We here, so it appears, are more than a little of both. As noted, I sure hope that's true.

Re: sumthing else??

I am running again. Hey! what's a little bone on bone knee pain? Ha!

No, ain't THAT bad, though I continue to experience a slight discomfort. The main reason it's slight, I'm positive, is I am running so.....damn.....slow. And just a little more than a mile. Ran 2 this morning. But reallllllly slow.

Fast, legs driving, arms pumping intervals? Noooo. Though I do hope I can one day get my lightning fast speed back. Blinding speed, I think it was..... HaHa!

Then? Then I can hurt myself all over again. Sheesh!!

best,

sam
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Unread 05-27-2016, 05:44 AM   #119
Alexis
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Sam thanks for checking in and updating us all!

I can resonate with the isolation bits, i used to live alone and wouldnt talk to anyone bar Jackson for days, id just drink, smoke dope, draw...Ill admit i still ache to be back there, its easy for me, to let myself sink into deprivation.

Being well, sober, social, its hard for me.

Yay you ran!! Good job! Dont rush it though, i dont want your knees to give up!

Love you Sam xxx
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Unread 05-27-2016, 11:21 AM   #120
lostdog
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hey Sam you are so smart and got such a good sense of humor, glad you are up and about. As you share your thoughts, know that you are growing with your sobriety and helping us so much, take care !
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Unread 05-27-2016, 08:25 PM   #121
Millie
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Ugh, yes, isolation. I've found that for me, being high on the HSP scale, I get overwhelmed being around people and *need* some time alone. Well, not alone alone, but in MY quiet space, with MY people. It has taken me a long time to figure out the difference between turning of my brain and limiting my sensory stimulation intentionally.

Anyway. I'm just beyond happy that you have gotten to run. When I was recovering from my injury, I had to do 10 minutes of walking, 2 minutes of running, repeat a few times, for a week. Then 8 minutes of walking, 4 minutes of running, for the next week. SOOOOO gradual it was maddening. But now I feel stronger than ever, because I let it heal properly. Well, that and the custom orthotics a wonderful doctor made for me. But my point? Don't do too much! You know that already.

Hope your spirits are well too.
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Unread 05-30-2016, 11:00 AM   #122
lostdog
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How are you Sam? It is raining here again, so I can't ride my bike, but will do indoor exercises. Hope you are getting about some and that darn knee is better.
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Unread 05-31-2016, 11:55 AM   #123
R. Lee
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Sam, So glad we are able to support you.
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Unread 06-10-2016, 06:43 PM   #124
Alexis
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How are you Sam? thanks for your advice on my journal xx
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Unread 06-10-2016, 08:10 PM   #125
Sam Bailey
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Hi Alexis,

Thanks for asking about me. I'm okay. Dealing with several property/tenant issues, which is a pain---and might develop into a genuine problem.

A few other issues, maybe problems, rapping at my door. The kind that cause me lots of anxiety.....which results in worry and fear.

Knees totally suck. I'm seeing an Ortho Specialist on, I think, Wednesday. Can't imagine that he'll have a magic potion, though it is a Specialist I need to see, this time around.

For too long, I took my gifts for granted. I wasted so much time. So many "things" I could have done, I chose not to do. Pretty dumb, those choices.

Now time is running out. Running down, that's more like it.

Waiting, just waiting, for life to happen is really not a great use of one's time. No kidding!

Yet, I am still fit and strong, not yet decrepit. I am extremely thankful that I now recognize that truth... and that I'd best use what time I have left.

Re my advice? Of course, you're welcome. I wish I could give you a perfect formula for writing a perfect story. That I cannot do. But advice, I got plenty of that. The good and the really not so good. Ha!

sam
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Unread 06-10-2016, 11:29 PM   #126
lostdog
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Just live in the present the best you can, you do have a lot of gifts now you are very gifted your knee will get better or they can give you a new one, take care
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Unread 06-11-2016, 07:37 AM   #127
Tryntryagain
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Good morning dearest Sam. Bright blessings to you.

My goodness!!, You are human afster all!

That is not to make light of the goings on for you at this time, yet even with tough times at the mo, you can still see how much your gifts were taken as "sorta accepted".

I rather think others gifts are things that "other people see". From whence that gift comes from, is much harder to see.

Often on my journey, my gifts i only accessed to "show off". I never for a minute saw their potential, or indeed i never once considered myself "lucky" to have them. I kinda thought, "well everyone's got some talent, i just have those".

Then, as is my luck, having survived everything and now consider myself to be relatively old and ugly, i realise how i have "completely taken what i can do....for granted".

Often if i am asked to give another a tune on the piano i will hear, "oh wow...where on earth did you learn to play like that?"......My answer?......

"Oh it's nothing. Actually it is really easy".

How rude is that?> How arrogant is that?

It was to not recognise the gifts that i have been fortunate enough to have within me. To have treated them with quite as much disdain as i have is ultimately somewhat embarrassing. However, now i know how lucky i am, rather than bemoan how i wished i had seen this before....i do now.

That is all that matters.

You really do have my empathy Re Knees. My left leg not the result of being old, yet an old skiing injury whose repair has now timed out. The knee.....the engine room of the leg can provide pain not many can imagine a knee could. I hope that you have a suitable treatment pathway to improve the state of play.

I take this with me on my journey through life now, "never miss what you have lost. Be thankful for what you have had, and even more grateful for what you have got".

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you dearest Sam
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Unread 06-11-2016, 09:03 AM   #128
Alexis
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Sam, sorry about your anxiety and knees. you sound good though, upbeat

Love you very much xxx
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Unread 06-15-2016, 11:16 AM   #129
gmasusie
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Sam,

I hear your pain. I can no longer sleep without pain meds. I am so looking forward to June 28. I will get a new cobalt chrome knee. It has become completely debilitating. I can not even walk the dogs any more. Please keep us informed.

Love, Susie
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Unread 06-15-2016, 04:26 PM   #130
Sam Bailey
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Hi Susie!

I just returned from my Ortho Doc. A new one, though he told be precisely what my old doc told me. Time for a new knee...or two. He did give me a couple of cortisone shots. Yet as you know, even if/when they work, one can take only so much cortisone. Too much and your knee falls off. Sumthing like that. Ha!

Unlike your wise self, I am SO resisting getting a Total Knee Replacement...and....and...I'm still running. Dope that I am. Should say, I WAS running. So hobbled now that I can barely jog without some pain.

Looks like I'm next in line for that TKR.

One does forget, least I do/did, just how reliant one is on one's knee. "One's knee," as in My Damn Knee...and Your Damn Knee. Ha!

Anyway. Once I make the decision, I'll likely be far happier. Right?

You are, I'm betting.

Good to hear from you, Susie...as always.

sam
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Unread 06-15-2016, 04:28 PM   #131
Alexis
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Love to you Sam xx
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Unread 06-16-2016, 10:17 AM   #132
R. Lee
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Good luck on your knee decision Sam.
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Unread 06-16-2016, 11:40 AM   #133
gmasusie
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I'll keep you posted. Of the 10-12 folks I know who have had the surgery, I have yet to talk to anyone who regrets having it done. I think that bodes well. I hope.
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Unread 06-16-2016, 03:29 PM   #134
Sam Bailey
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Hi Susie!

Clearly, those 10-12 folks you spoke with who had the surgery? All liars. Every single one of them. On the take, I suspect. I mean, look at 'em limping when you turn your head. Oh dear, what pain they must be in!!

HaHa!

Just kidding...of course. It is true, so I've also heard, that most knee surgeries are successful. Maybe a complaint here 'n there, but regrets? Nah. Very few.

You are right!

However, I still hold on to this terrible fear that I will be one of the exceptions. As a RUNNER, it's true, I DO have more of a chance at failure than the "typical" walker.....or bike-rider.....or hiker.

A resumption of running is NOT impossible. About this, I have been assured. Just more potential complications, more risk---which of course makes perfect sense.

Still, that is my goal. To run again.

Nonetheless...we shall see. Hell, I just haven't made up my addled mind yet.

You though, Susie, you are making an excellent choice...and I wish you nothing but the best.

However, if you can outrace me once we both have our new knees, I will be very, very pissed off! HaHa!

sam
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Unread 06-17-2016, 10:28 AM   #135
lostdog
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I know this real old lady who had it done bilaterally and is doing great! just check their infection control record for nosocomial histories. ask around, just fyi, good dr's with good records are wonderful! Best wishes and take care.
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Unread 06-17-2016, 04:19 PM   #136
Tryntryagain
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Good evening dearest Sam. Bright blessings to you.

Ok. You have to take on board that Tryn is in my dear ole Blighty, (oh and by the way for the record...EU ref...IN)....news travels a bit slowly, so i might of lost something here.

I will run past you what i gather, (pun intended!)...

Your knees are *****d, all the advice you have sought, injections last time et al, have told you, Mr Sam needs a new pair of the wobbly bits in the middle of your legs.

You presumably have decided that you will have sufficient "leg space" over time to be constantly injected until the wobbly bits fall off, (screwing up your medials, laterals, the whole shebang)...then you will be *****d.

Fear, in my humble opinion is what this is about. Not the new knees "perse", yet will it ultimately mean i can not do what i love? Something that is integral to my life...i need a guarantee it's going to happen.

On top of that you have heard storys about what has happened to "other new knee people", and it didn't sound good eh?

My dear Sam, if we had listened to other drug and alcoholic journeys....and their "outcomes", we would not have bothered. We would not be here.

You are here, as i am, is because we are survivors.

You know your life? When you were constantly out of your mind? Did you run then? Ok i am guessing.....nope. (At least not for fun eh?)

You fought your way back. Now it is a love.

How about this story.

Some fruitloop in the big place loved running. I mean really loved running. If he couldn't...well.

Trouble was, his knees were giving out. It was threatening his love of running. So much so he got to the point of needing serious injections the keep the show on the road.

"So what did he do?", (asked the imaginary friend who is listening to the story!),

Welp...he went to the right people and they said he needed a new knee, possibly 2.

"OH WOW!!".....

Yup. He went right down there and said, "just whack'em in, i can handle this shit".

"What happened then??"

Hmmm, it pissed him off some because it ain't easy to have a knee replacement. Kinda "takes it out of ya".

Thing is, you have to know the fellow to understand.

"How so?"

Oh, he's a fighter. One of them proper ones. So now, his new knee/knees, work better than ever.

Oh it was a nightmare at the time. The amount of physio, building up those muscles that "cup over the knee" to support it, it is hard.

Yet, with support, he came through just fine. I just heard from him, he's running free.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you dearest Sam
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Unread 06-19-2016, 03:43 PM   #137
Alexis
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hey Sam, how you doing? x
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Unread 06-23-2016, 10:47 AM   #138
gmasusie
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OK, Sam. I am counting down now. 5 more days to the hospital. I am preparing walker, shower chair, etc.............

I will keep you posted when i can.
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Unread 06-23-2016, 11:57 AM   #139
Sam Bailey
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Hi Susie!

Oh boy, what an...exciting? day approaching. How long did your docs say your recovery will be?

You may recall that I scheduled my own TKR surgery for some time last year.....then cancelled the darn thing. Ha! What a.....well, I don't know what. Definitely a wuss. Ha!

Any case, you MUST let me/us know about your recovery, day by day. Maybe I'll end up following your lead?

Right now I can barely walk. Without pain, I mean. Moist heat does alleviate most of the pain, temporarily. But any climbing? Fergetaboutit! And running. Uh, no.

But you, kid---you'll be dashing around New Mexico in no time!

best!

sam
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Unread 06-24-2016, 11:08 AM   #140
gmasusie
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Mountain climbing with the dogs is my goal!

I definitely will keep you posted. Doc says 3-5 days in hospital, 6 weeks before I can drive because it is my right knee. However, he is sending me home, not to rehab hospital because I have a good attitude and he wants me back with my own germs. PT will come to me 2X per week until I can get to them. He says I will be walking the next day after surgery.

Yes, I am excited. After the pain we have been through, I am not scared of a little surgical pain.

Keep you posted. Love, Susie
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Unread 06-24-2016, 11:38 AM   #141
Sam Bailey
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Hey Susie!

My bags are packed, in case you figure out some way to smuggle me into your hospital room, in time for surgery.

How to work our scam? Easy. We say: Conjoined twins.

Oh Doc. Sooooo tragic, Oh Doctor, Doctor!, this is a brother and sister, both in need of new knees?

Think he'd buy it? Ha!

Bigger problem is whether or not I jump and run just as we're being wheeled toward the operating room. The whole time I'm running, limping, I mean, I'm shouting, "Conjoined no longer...it's a miracle!!"

As noted, I'm betting you do great, as will the doctor and his staff. You're gonna heal wonderfully. Sure hoping you do.

So please, do keep us updated.

Also, a personal request, apropos of my particular addiction issues, how is the Pain. Please, shoot straight. I've been told that the pain, post op especially, is pretty gnarly I don't fear the pain, nor worry about the pain. It's those damn Pain Pills that I have some concerns with.

Thanx and some damn good luck for you, Susie!

sam
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Unread 06-25-2016, 12:58 PM   #142
gmasusie
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Thanks, Sam. Will do!
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Unread 06-25-2016, 01:33 PM   #143
lostdog
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take care Sam with your knee and keep posting, you are such a nice person!
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Unread 06-28-2016, 07:24 PM   #144
Sam Bailey
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Hey Folks!

So here's the deal. My two oldest grandkids, 15 and 13, live with their Mom, my beautiful daughter, on the coast in Oregon. She's a single Mom, with 3 (yep 3!) other kids. Oh, but she's the most loving, most devoted Mom you can imagine.

Her ex-husband, the children's father, is the opposite of that. He's an awful person, angry, rude and just all around rage filled. He lives in Portland, about a 2 hour drive from my daughter's home.

Also, he's a drug user, mostly pot. Though coke too, though that might be in the past. However, he is, so he says himself, habituated to pot. Addicted? Whatever. Needs to smoke it everyday, he has said. The kind of thing.

Well, the two boys are not allowed to use pot, booze or any drug. They have experimented and are forbidden. My daughter tests them, sometimes.

However.

Here's the latest. Her ex believes they should ALLOW both my grandkids to smoke pot in the house. His house when they're with him, my daughter's house when they're home.

He was also "caught" giving weed to my oldest. He only agreed to stop doing this due to threats of turning him in to the police.

He is a fcken idiot! And frankly, I'm nearly beside myself with anger at him due to this current "idea," which, he thinks, will bring the boys closer to them. WTF!!!

He smoked dope as a teen...and if you knew him, if you SAW him, you would instantly know that his development was halted a long time ago. Arrested Development, that is him.

He doesn't believe, so he says, the medical literature that claims the adolescent mind CAN be arrested by marijuana.

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

My daughter is doing a good job of raising her kids...but this kind of parenting help, this so-called father's help, she surely does not need.

And if I step in to "help?" Oh good Lord. First, my daughter would have a conniption, without her approval first, I mean. I fear she knows her Dad. Ha!

Second, the guy would not believe me, that smoking pot and drinking at that age is deleterious to the young brain...and third, if I actually met up with him? I'd likely end up doing 20 to Life.

No, not that. But I do confess that our meeting might not end well. So, for now, the weight rests on her shoulders...though I am so thankful that she has her best friend to rely on for any kind of support.

That best friend is her Mom. I recall so well the time when they butted heads due to her own teenage angst. I knew then, somehow, that the saying (where did I hear this?) was true: Keep them alive long enough and they will come back to you.

Today they are best friends.

And that's great. But it doesn't solve this current, I think, crisis. They're all in Oregon....and we are in California.

I really want us to be there with her/them. Right now though, it just isn't feasible.

So.

Thanks for listening.

sam
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Unread 06-28-2016, 07:52 PM   #145
Millie
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Wow. What a situation. And what an idiot. Would he give cigarettes and booze to them at that age too?! It's all the same to young brains with 10+ years of developing yet to do...

The threat of police intervention is a good one. Definitely illegal.

What a piece of work. I'm sorry your family is going through this. Those kids must be conflicted too. Yuck all around.
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Unread 06-29-2016, 07:30 AM   #146
Alexis
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Shit, im so sorry you have to go through this, and sorry to your daughter also, what a terribly difficult situation to be in

Will be thinking of you as always xx
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Unread 06-29-2016, 09:45 AM   #147
R. Lee
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Tough situation Sam. Report him to the proper authorities & maybe they will take away his rights to visitation.
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Unread 06-29-2016, 03:02 PM   #148
Sam Bailey
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Hey Millie, Alexis, RLee,

Thanks for your support and kindness.

The major deal about the whole thing is not that they're experimenting with booze and pot, lots of young people have done that. And it's not even that this imbecile thinks having them toke up at home is somehow a good idea, though that does bother me incredibly.

The very clear thing that this idiot is missing is that those two boys come from a genetic history of addiction, on both sides. He is an addict, he has several blood kin that are also addicts. And then there's my daughter's side of the family, beginning with, uh, ME!, for cripes sake!

It's almost laughable, the thick head on this guy---though it's not close to being funny. I mean, bottom line? This "family thing" (gag me!!) could develop into an addiction problem for both the boys.

The therapist said it last night, to my daughter during a special session she called for, and for which her ex husband refused to attend. The therapist told my daughter that she is now the only thing standing between her two sons and a lifetime of addiction.

Overstated? Maybe. I hope so. But truth is, the addiction deck is stacked against those children.

Anyway. My daughter is not going to allow this to happen, not without a fight.

Good.

But still.....

sam
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Unread 06-29-2016, 03:05 PM   #149
Alexis
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Hope it gets sorted Sam, must be a nightmare not being too close in distance as well. Hope you dont feel too helpless, im sure you are offering support and it is as cherished as it is on here.

Love you xx
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Unread 06-29-2016, 03:09 PM   #150
Millie
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The therapist could very well be right. I'm glad your daughter is on board.

Watching my sister struggle with addiction (we're not close, and my only real connection to her is our mom), I know how tough it is to watch and trust that others who are able to be more involved will do the right and responsible thing. Painful.

They're all lucky to have you in their lives, caring like you do.
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