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Unread 12-25-2014, 01:34 PM   #101
lostdog
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You rock Tryn, thanks and merry Christmas! Last night they kept offering me wine, I almost took some and then backed down. That alcoholic binging voice did not win. My PC is down booooo, so working from phone and I can't type as fast. Going on a wurlind trip. Oh my neice is coming in from the UK. I will tell her I have a good friend in Blightey. But its all anonymous of course. Blessings to all my friends here, too
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Unread 12-25-2014, 11:50 PM   #102
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Good job thinking through that first drink lost dog. It seems so innocent, just one drink our mind tells us. But for us it is never just one drink is it? Alcohol is poison for us. Congrats!!

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Unread 12-26-2014, 09:58 AM   #103
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You made it through a tough hurdle! To have a sober Christmas is a great reward!

Happy holidays!.

Love, Susie
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Unread 12-26-2014, 03:58 PM   #104
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Susie and Saint it was with your help that I made it. It was a drama day with some family but no alcohol and I really didnt participate with it. I just kindly said you'll have to talk to my husband about his issues. Normally I'd new in there defending and getting all riled up as my mother in law says she already has all the gifts we gave her. Enough. I'm making cookies next year. Just smile and go on amd new grateful for the meaningful things in life.
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Unread 12-26-2014, 04:46 PM   #105
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lostdog, Great job. Let the others deal with their dysfunction. You thought through any urge to drink.

You are the winner.
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Unread 12-26-2014, 08:20 PM   #106
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Lostdog,
You are learning how to live life on life's terms, sober. Progress not perfection. My worst day sober is better than my best day drunk.

Well done!

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Unread 12-26-2014, 10:23 PM   #107
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We have no control over anyone else, ESPECIALLY family, in-laws and out-laws!

You're doing so well! Cookies sound great. Don't let the ____________ get you down! You can be your own best friend. We will try to be too.

Susie
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Unread 12-28-2014, 08:19 AM   #108
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Good afternoon Lost Dog. Bright blessings to you.

I can feel a real energy coming from your recent posts over what could have been a really challenging time for you. Your positivity and thought processes "pukka" as us Londoners say! I know your friend from Blighty will have a fantastic time.


I can not tell you how when you said you would make cookies next year, (biscuits to us Blightonians!), how happy that made me.

Keep doing what you are doing. It suits you!

Be peaceful and enjoy, joy. Loveness to you Lostdog.
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Unread 12-28-2014, 10:04 AM   #109
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thanks so much R. Lee, Susie, Saint, and Tryn. Another family event I went to with wine flowing, but was offered and refused immediately and it was easy. The only trouble with these events is my family goes around the table and we all have to sum our year, boast ourselves, etc. My father goes around and talks about everyone before they are to speak, but not everyone. Of course, he is drinking wine freely. The quieter ones maybe two of us, just our name stated before we are to speak. Well this year, public speaking is my weakness of course, I just said thank you for the meal, I had a great year and look forward to another great year. Simple and positive. Trying not to think it out too much. If I was drinking yes, I could have talked better, but really, it is what it is and I'm taking it slow. I did not define myself with what the intro was etc. Anyway, I got through it, taking it slow. I have one more event to go to and then it will be a slow next two months. Just wanted to express myself as each of you that post are very valuable to me. Blessings and HUGS!
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Unread 12-28-2014, 10:27 AM   #110
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Good afternoon Lost Dog. Bright blessings to you.

Errmmm......."if i was drinking i could have talked better?" I can only give you my experience. I found that when i used alcohol to speak my teeth, tongue and mouth eventually got in the way.

I get where you are coming from. It will come Lost Dog. Patience. Goodness this family is teaching me that!

Be peaceful, keep, keeping. Loveness to you Lost Dog
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Unread 12-28-2014, 03:12 PM   #111
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You are right Tryn, I can't talk better with drinking, it is worse and I appreciate you noted that, must have been the alcoholic side talking out. thanks.
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Unread 12-28-2014, 03:38 PM   #112
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lostdog, When drinking we might get to courage to speak, but I found out I spoke too much & did not have a lot to say. Oh yes the thick tong getting in the way.
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Unread 12-29-2014, 11:03 AM   #113
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Good afternoon Lost Dog. Bright blessings to you.

I feel close to this subject, speaking/drinking etc. I think that holds an expansive landscape.

What is the definition of confidence? Do you remember being at school, in class, and a question being asked and knowing the answer? Some put hands up, some do all they can to be asked to give the answer, some don't give a hoot, and then those that know...but don't want to speak up?....is that a lack of confidence? I do not believe so.

I have been a part of this family for about 2 years now. I have never met more confident, intelligent, capable, resourceful and determined people in my life. You have shared all of that with me on my journey.

I am going off the point. I spent a very long time public speaking, years. I used alcohol to enable it. I had so much to share, i did to a point. I was new on the "scene". I spoke to important poeple strutting my stuff. It was good for awhile. I ended up looking so very, very silly. My public speaking was about sobriety.

Yup.

There you have it right there. Not only will alcohol **** you up, it will make a fool out of you while it does.

I much prefer making a bufoon out of myself sober. (I have also aquired the ability to be more of a plonker sober than when i was when drinking).

So back to the confidence thing. My definition of confidence is, not knowing what you do know, but knowing what you dont.

1 last thing. Lost Dog i thought there was a "alcoholic side to me"...nope just me. All of me.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you Lost Dog
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Unread 12-31-2014, 09:51 AM   #114
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I'm finally at home and resting, from all the traveling to the land of the la la in- laws. well kinda, my animals keep me up and running. Tryn to me there is confidence when you know the answer and speak up to make your point, but not boast, then that's insecurity and then there's confidence when you know the answer sit quietly and let others have their chance. That is a true giver the last one. I am working on a balance I guess or just speak up at all.
This whole week, as the world was going on in the season fashion, times were nice because my clarity in thinking remained. Thank goodness, no regrets.
Staying in the present at this moment but wishing everyone a happy new year.
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Unread 12-31-2014, 10:38 AM   #115
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Good afternoon Lost Dog. Bright blessings to you.

I wanted to pop by to acknowledge this may be a difficult time for you. I wish you sobriety and personal growth for this upcoming year.

Happy New Year Lost Dog.

Be peaceful with you and think through the first drink. Loveness to you Lost Dog
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Unread 12-31-2014, 04:54 PM   #116
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A happy and a sober new year to you, Lostdog.

Keep us posted.

Love, Susie
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Unread 01-01-2015, 11:11 AM   #117
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Thank you all for the 2014 support, 2015 is here and day by day it is. Happy Blessed New Year to you all and may I contribute to help each and everyone of you -fine, wonderful, awesome, nice people.
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Unread 01-01-2015, 11:27 AM   #118
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lostdog. You are welcome. Keep it simple & you will do well.
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Unread 01-01-2015, 01:01 PM   #119
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Good afternoon Lost Dog. Bright blessings to you.

What a lovely, lovely post!

The reason everyone here are fine, wonderful, awesome and nice people, is because you are a fine, wonderful, awesome and nice person. Funny how it works hey?

Have a relaxing New Years day.

Be peaceful, be gentle with yourself and be strong. Loveness to you Lost Dog
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Unread 01-01-2015, 04:49 PM   #120
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Happy New year lost dog!
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Unread 01-01-2015, 06:50 PM   #121
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Happy New Year Lostdog! So proud of you! Jenm
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Unread 01-02-2015, 05:29 PM   #122
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It is a happy new year, but I write and think positive, although I'm really struggling with my thoughts and when people speak to me. I've got into a pattern of being a dust rug and it is hard to get the dust off, but I'm determined to speak up more now and refuse to be talked to in any other way that is not acceptable to me. The whole issue is a constant work for me. So, to get that positive loop going again, I will continue to be lifting and contribute my best. Continue to know that I am sober and that's the best I can do for today.
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Unread 01-02-2015, 09:32 PM   #123
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lostdog, We are no ones doormat. That behavior is unacceptable. Be firm. You deserve more.
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Unread 01-03-2015, 06:07 AM   #124
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Good morning Lost Dog. Bright blessings to you.

I think 1 of the most important parts of my journey into sobriety was learning to respect myself again, and enjoying sharing respect for others. Whilst i was drinkling i was not capable of either. I had to "re find" my own dignity and now found i protect it fiercly.

When i feel as if i am being used, or disrespected, i no longer retort, i will not confront, i will completely ignore that person as if they were not in the room until they can address me with respect and dignity. It really is as simple as that. If it is not possible to ignore i say the same thing, "i do beg your pardon, would you like to rephrase that?" It works every time!

My personal opinion is that anyone that sets out on the road to recovery and sobriety, anyone that finds that courage and belief deserves all the respect in the world frankly.

Do not let it upset you too much if you can. Stand by your guns.....YOU are right.

Be peaceful, be firm and be fair. Loveness to you Lost Dog.
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Unread 01-03-2015, 10:39 AM   #125
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Good suggestion, Tryn.

LOstdog, we get into the habit of accepting the unacceptable. It is insidious. It is tough to stand up for ourselves, but each time we do it, it becomes easier. Keep it up!

You deserve the very best, Susie
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Unread 01-04-2015, 06:42 PM   #126
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I awoke with a nice attitude and said three things I am grateful for. I have so much and do not need to belly ache as Jenm said we have some character flaws and think the world revolves around us sometimes. That was a good point as in the way I look at things. My dad is always whining about getting old, etc. and I always told him it's how you look at things, but never took my own advice. So today, It is cold as crap, yet the beauty of the cold makes my soul rest inside and stay warm.
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Unread 01-07-2015, 01:34 PM   #127
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Just wanted to share that I am saddened to learn of a distant (in location) friend through family that passed away suddenly. She was very sweet and it was sad to hear and just to know that life is precious and unpredictable when we will go. She did not suffer, so that was nice to know, but I'm very sad she passed away and I will miss her so bad.
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Unread 01-07-2015, 06:17 PM   #128
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Grief is one of the toughest emotions to deal with. Be gentle with yourself.

Susie
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Unread 01-07-2015, 07:35 PM   #129
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Good evening Lost Dog. Bright blessings to you at this sad time.

Knowing you a while now, just your description and thoughts of your friend says a 1000 words. From another part of this world i am with you in your thoughts of your friend.

Think through the first drink Lost Dog.

Be loving of your memories, be gentle with yourself, and it is ok to cry. Loveness and peacefulness Lost Dog
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Unread 01-07-2015, 07:53 PM   #130
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Oh Lostdog my heart is with you! It is so hard to lose someone. I am glad that you were able to find things to be grateful for. Sometimes it is easier than others! I can always find things to be grateful for, even when it seems like everything is falling apart.

Have you ever been around someone who is really negative about just everything? I have so much trouble when I find myself in a situation where there is someone like that! No matter how screwed up my life may seem, or get, or have been, it could ALWAYS be worse. I will pray for you! Jenm
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Unread 01-08-2015, 02:31 PM   #131
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Thank you for the condolences. Yes, Jenm it's a constant twist to try and change someones view to positive and sometimes they just won't do it. Oh well. I'm babysitting soon for the funeral weekend to help out, but I still have a viral infection, went to Dr. today. Resting and enjoying the cold weather inside and can't wait to exercise again and feel well.
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Unread 01-08-2015, 04:28 PM   #132
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Good evening Lost Dog. Bright blessings to you.

I think the best way of spreading positivity is to be positive. It is all one can do. That is jolly hard and tiring stuff!

I can only imagine the funeral weekend will be challenging in many ways. Let us know when it is so we can think of you on that weekend.

Around you feeling poorly, fluids, fluids and warmth. Jenm was saying how cold it is over in your manor. Here we have "weather warnings for a huge storm tonight".....i suspect to my brothers and sisters where you all are, it would probably just be a "bit windy".

Be restful, be well. Loveness to you Lost Dog
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Unread 01-09-2015, 09:56 AM   #133
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My condolences lost dog.
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Unread 01-10-2015, 01:51 PM   #134
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lostdog, Sorry for your loss. Stay strong.
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Unread 01-10-2015, 02:22 PM   #135
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Thanks everyone.
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Unread 01-18-2015, 09:35 AM   #136
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Good afternoon Lost Dog. Bright blessings to you.

Having had the chance to read all the threads, sadness is visiting you as it is me. Your consitent support and love on my journey has been humbling as i now fully recognise your recent journey too.

I am so sorry for your loss, and be sure that all of us are here to support you through this difficult time in the same i have been.

I know anxiety is an issue for both your goodself and me, and recent times have actually empowered me to know that i CAN get on top of my anxiety. Sure it is tiring mentally, but i realise that my issues around anxiety are the main drivers for my choices, decisions and ultimately my behaviour.

When i am "hurting", i am at my most anxious. As i recognise you are hurting, please, please, come and share, the best of this family is there is ALWAYS someone at home!

My thoughts and heart are with you at this time Lost Dog.

Be gentle, be kind to yourself. Loveness to you Lost Dog.
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Unread 01-19-2015, 03:00 PM   #137
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Good evening Lost Dog. Bright blessings to you.

Again i just want you to know that we recognise this is a difficult time for you Lost Dog. We are all thinking about you.

Be calm, be gentle. Loveness to you Lost Dog
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Unread 01-20-2015, 07:04 AM   #138
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Lostdog,

It's been awhile since we've heard from you. Please taken a moment and let us know how things are for you. Remember, you are among family here and we do care about you.

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Unread 01-20-2015, 02:29 PM   #139
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Saint you are so sweet to check on me. I'm having sensory overload and my phone failed, lost a credit card, and overwhelmed with things but sober. Thank goodness. I just can't remember things and it concerns me. Something has to give and my emails did. I'm hanging in there. Hope everyone is doing well.
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Unread 01-20-2015, 03:24 PM   #140
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lostdog, Stuff happens. Great news that you did not drink. Stay in touch.
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Unread 01-20-2015, 04:17 PM   #141
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Good evening Lost Dog. Bright blessings to you.

I can remember a time back when i tried to become sober, for the first part of the journey i was "stubbing my toe", walking into things, and looking for my keys whilst they were in my hand. I went to my support group at the time and asked......"When i was drinking i never lost my keys, never seemed to have accidents and whatnot" why now i am sober is it happening?

I was told my mind was not used to being on other things.

Lost Dog alcohol is drug. It changes the chemicals in the brain. You "did" lose your keys, you "did" hurt yourself, you just couldnt remember. Sustained drinking creates a way of being and takes a lot of dedication and hard work. Sustained sobriety can sometimes resemble "your first drink"...it feels that squiffy. Stick with it, and i am sure you will always know where your keys are. If this continues to be a problem for you, share it with us. We can keep an eye on it.

My thoughts are with you.

Be peaceful, be gentle and be strong. Loveness to you Lost Dog
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Unread 01-20-2015, 11:14 PM   #142
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LostDog,

You might want to read some about PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome). Although your withdrawal may not have been acute, it helps explain what Tryn is talking about in terms of chemical changes in the brain. They occur in reverse after withdrawal. Don't worry. It gets better.

Except for an occasional bout of anxiety or a crying jag, all has smoothed out in almost four months. I am off the anti-depressants and really feeling lighter and younger almost daily. Why was I surprised that I was depressed? Memory is getting better, too. Give it time and be gentle with yourself! We didn't become raving alcoholics overnight. Most of us don't recover overnight just because we are now sober.

It does get better and better. Hang in there!

Susie
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Unread 01-21-2015, 07:24 AM   #143
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Hi lostdog, following up on what Tryn and Susie said, here's a link on PAWS that might be of interest:
http://www.uwhealth.org/healthfacts/...atry/7228.html

If you're having a very difficult time, there is a medication - Campral - that was developed specifically for after the patient has stopped drinking to help with PAWS:
http://www.alcoholanswers.org/treatm...-treatment.cfm

About Acamprosate Calcium (Campral®)
FDA approved in 2004, acamprosate calcium reduces the physical and emotional distress that may occur in the weeks and months after alcohol consumption is stopped.(6) Acting on the GABA and glutamate nerurotransmitter systems(7), Campral is an oral medication with a recommended daily dose of two (2) 333mg tablets three times a day. Patients must be abstinent before beginning treatment.(8) The medication should be part of an overall treatment plan which should include professional therapy and peer support.(8)

Campral does not stop patients from consuming alcohol, nor does it precipitate any physical symptoms when alcohol is consumed while the patient takes Campral.


Footnotes:
6. "Acamprosate Calsium" (Campral®) http://www.dpt.samhsa.gov/medications/acamprosate.htm
7. "Prescribing Medications for Alcohol Dependence" NIAAA, 2005, http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publicatio...icians_guide18. "Campral®" http://www.fda.gov/cder/consumerinfo...fo/Campral.htm

Hope that helps.

Nancy
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Unread 01-21-2015, 09:24 AM   #144
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I appreciate all the support and comments in this daily struggle. Very nice and comforting messages to keep me going.
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Unread 01-21-2015, 02:10 PM   #145
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Good evening Lost Dog. Bright blessings to you.

I really just want you to know that i am aware of this struggle you are going through daily at this time, although i want you to know as time moves on, and you learn more about what is happening for you, with all our support, together it will get better.

Nancys links really helpful, chat to us all if you have any thoughts around it.

This family is here for you, best drug of all.

Be peaceful, be calm and gentle. Loveness to you Lost Dog
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Unread 01-22-2015, 12:45 PM   #146
lostdog
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Tryn,R. Lee, Saint, Susie, Nancy- I have always been a" little scattered" and so therefore it is not really a new thing, just I come from a smart family, smart kids and I don't want to look too dumb and it is a constant struggle not to be made fun of. I have been standing up for myself and getting out of comfort zone with my words, but I am pretty meek and I don't like to be mean to anyone even if I'm mad at them. I'm also an exerciser so that helps me and I feel fine today, so it's all good. I got a job interview week after next and I am preparing for it. It would be my dream job. thanks for your help on my path.
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Unread 01-22-2015, 07:14 PM   #147
R. Lee
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lostdog, I know the feeling about feeling less than. Good luck with that job interview.
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Unread 01-22-2015, 07:20 PM   #148
gmasusie
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Convince yourself and them that you are the right person for this job!!! Practice in front of the mirror, with us, anyone who will listen! It's like practicing to be a witness. Think of everything they might ask, then be prepared to be surprised!

We are all here for you. Good luck.

Susie
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Unread 01-22-2015, 07:22 PM   #149
gmasusie
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Convince yourself and them that you are the right person for this job!!! Practice in front of the mirror, with us, anyone who will listen! It's like practicing to be a witness. Think of everything they might ask, then be prepared to be surprised!

We are all here for you. Good luck.

Susie
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Unread 01-22-2015, 07:25 PM   #150
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OOPS!
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