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Unread 09-09-2013, 08:28 AM   #101
NancyB
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Hi CRICKET5, I just wanted to share vhappy's (from the opiate forum) story of her daughter. Maybe it will bring some insight more for your husband, but hope for you. She had to cut her daughter completely out of her life. It was only then that her daughter sought out help. Her daughter now is a completely different person, solid in her recovery, married with another baby, but most of all, she has her life back and has repaired relationships with her family.

Thread:
http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...ad.php?t=22490

Some posts:
http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...8&postcount=46
http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...12&postcount=8

I was reminded of this thread while looking for vhappy's posts:
http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...ad.php?t=26236

I hope these are helpful - maybe your husband can see that he is being manipulated by your daughter's addiction and cut her off also.

Please, please take care of yourself.

Nancy
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Unread 09-22-2013, 03:48 PM   #102
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While out of town for a few days, and getting at least 25 calls from someone at a church that our daughter had stumbled into asking 'for help',I 'think' maybe ,my husband is seeing what a enabler he is, because he was sick of being bothered when we were so far away from home. He did not answer the calls and neither did I,but when my employer called,I answered.She told me that someone had contacted my work,asked did I have a daughter and so on and could they get in touch with me.So she called and said that she gave out zero info,but gave me the number of who was trying to get in touch with us.My daughter stumbled into the church because she was broke and had no one else to call! I told the hospital when they called that we were not helping her,and they should figure it out,that she came to the church and the hospital for help.BUT SHE LIED,to the hospital..she said she only drinks wine! Well that sounds to me like she is not at the bottom,because she is not being honest with those that came to her rescue..she drinks EVERYTHING! She did not mention hairspray,hand sanitizer,vodka.Anyway, they said she would be detoxed and needed to be picked up Monday..welcome home
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Unread 09-22-2013, 03:55 PM   #103
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She told them she needed a 15 day program,and i said 'WHAT? 15 days? Shw was in jail for 60 days and came out and 1st day was drunk! She needs 1 year,at the least." They said they didnt know what to do with her,but she would be released on Monday..and the few days we were gone,that was not a vacation,that was finally taking the time to help one of our other kids move,and finally putting them 1st instead of making excuses that we couldnt leave our addicted daughter..this is sad..What all has happened in our family since her addiction..I am not picking her up from the hospital,I have to be strong and not an enabler..this is hard and heartbreaking,but it has to be this way..RIGHT???
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Unread 09-22-2013, 05:16 PM   #104
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Hi CRICKET5, it is hard and heartbreaking, but yes, you do have to be strong and not pick her up. I hope your husband won't enable her any more either. That would help a lot - because then she would know that neither of you will let her in the house or help her.

Does she have a caseworker or social worker at the hospital? She's an adult and you do not have to get her. They should look for a women's shelter for her or send her treatment - yes, much more than the 15 days she told them she needed.

Please do stay strong. You're in my thoughts.

Nancy
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Unread 09-22-2013, 08:11 PM   #105
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Crickets, I pray for you & your daughter. You are doing the right thing. She is still manipulating everyone she comes in contact with.
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Unread 09-22-2013, 09:00 PM   #106
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YES. You are absolutely doing the right thing, in my opinion, by not picking her up.

You have other children that need your attention, love, and assistance. You can do this. Stay strong!

Hugs!
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Unread 09-23-2013, 07:15 PM   #107
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I didnt mean to look like I was shouting..I am not going to win this battle today..she has already called and at this time,510pm,she is waiting to be discharged..i said i was not going and my husbands comment was'what kind of mother does that'.i told him one that is not an enabler..now it is what do we do with her tomorrow,who is changing their schedule for work.I am not changing mine,i said..and i wont and i cant,for that matter..he is so soft when it comes to her.By saturday she will be 'going to eat with a friend',and wont be back..mark my word! I am working sat also,so he will have to contend with this.I am tired of being the 'bad guy' and 'the heavy'.
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Unread 09-23-2013, 07:25 PM   #108
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When someone tells a hospital counselor they only need 15 days,that is manipulation and not wanting to quit. I am so sick and tired of this i could scream! About 2 or 3 weeks ago while at work,she came 'home' and of course her let her in.I had worked a 12 hr shift and was sleeping when a thud sound woke me up.I jumped up and asked my husband what the sound was,he was downstairs..He said that our daughter was standing at the refrigerator and he said she fell out,while standing there...he is in denial and is an enabler..the more I let him deal,the more he will see..I am just going to work,and stand back and watch..one thing for sure,she never tries to call my cell phone,she knows she can still get what she wants with him but for sure not me
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Unread 09-23-2013, 08:09 PM   #109
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CRICKETS, You are doing the right thing by your daughter. Your husband's actions can love her to death.
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Unread 09-24-2013, 06:06 PM   #110
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Hi Crickets,

I have been following your story and it brings back so many memories. When I saw that Nancy had referenced my old post to you, I wanted to introduce myself. I started reading some of them last night and could not believe that I was even posting about the same daughter, because that person is nothing like the person she is today. The other sad thing I had written is that my 2 son's her brothers did not have drug issues. They both ended up having drug issues and got into meth together. One has sinse went to rehab and been out and doing great for 14 months. The other is on the "tough love" program right now.

Oh Cricket's I hate to see you suffering like this and wish there was something I could say to ease the pain as I know all to well what if feels like. The good news is that I have used the tough love on all 3 of my kids and have 2 very productive happy married kids. The other we only cut off abut 3 weeks ago and is still on the run.

When I say kids I mean a 30 year old (single on the "run)a 27 year old married with a child and a 25 year old daughter recently married with 2 children.

As you can see if you had a chance to read any of my post, I was being held hostage by my daughter and also raising her son. I gave her every chance and she blew it. I realized later that I could not be objective in any way shape or form when it came to her. At that time I was new to recovery myself, so it was hard to talk with her without being a hypocrite myself. I was using the family money to buy my own drugs, but did not see it that way at the time because they were prescription "drugs". During my years of abuse I not only became very addicted, I was not their for my teenage kids when they needed me most. That alone makes me feel guilty, so I felt it was my job to fix them. No we can not fix people with addiction. Addiction is a disease, we would not tell our child if they had cancer, stay home and I will take care of you if you don't want to go to the doctor, because that would result in death...well same thing here, leave it to the experts.

I know it is hard to stay strong, but until I cut my kids off, we both just kept repeating the same mistakes over and over. We think we are saving them by getting them out of predicaments, paying bills, feeding, offering a place to stay to "start over". I would have these long talks with them, start fresh and then be totally destroyed when it all fell apart. As an addict myself, at times I was lying through my teeth at other times I would tell myself this is it, I have got to do this, but did not realize my disease was much bigger than myself. We are more lilkley to kill them by enabling, than an overdose. She will test you for sure, but once her testing is complete and she knows neither you or your husband will step in or respond in any way unless it's to get help, it should only be a matter of time. I know that is a hard pill to swallow, but it's true. My kids would not get help until every hope was gone and they realized they didn't have good ole mom and dad to fall back on. Then they got scared, then they got serious. My daughter would also text her dad and he would secretly help her. We had to have a long talk and both be commited to this at the same time. I am going through this with my son right now. My husband will feel bad send him a text and it all starts over again. Now when something of his is missing, I remind him to remember that anger, that he expresses to me about it...not his son.

As you can see, I still second guess myself at moments of weakness. I then come here and gather courage and support from my friends. My daughter completed her treatment, went to beauty school and college, got a great job, met a great guy and recently got married in Kauai, and got her son back. They moved away for a year, and after having him sinse he was 3 days old, that just about killed me (but that's a whole different story). Good news is he is 7 going on 8 happy and healthy and also living back here!

Stand strong, what you are doing right now may save your daughters life. Addicts are quite resourceful, this I know because I am one myself. Our survival instincts kick in and we do what we have to do. The good thing is when we can not find anyone to enable us anymore and all our resources dry up, survival becomes much more difficult and we get sick and tired of being sick and tired and are willing to consider new choices. My daughter went to rehab so she could get back in our house. She told me later, she had no intention of cleaning up and thought she could manipulate and fool the people at the rehab, like she had been doing to all of us for years. She never considered the fact that they were trained specialist and had her number the minute she walked in the door. Same for my son. Something happened along the way, and they embraced recovery. So even if she were to go just to get a safe medical detox and a warm meal and bed every night for awhile because she is tired, then so be it.

I know it has been said recovery doesn't work unless the person want's it. For the most part, but their our exceptions to every rule. Somewhere along the way my kids began to want it. They both thank me now for what we did, and both agree without it, they would not have budged anytime soon, but were furious at the time. The best way to not get sucked in and feel guilt is DONT except calls or read any text. My kids went through writing me livid mean text, to life threatening text, to begging text. Don't read them. Block her from both of your phones if you need to. Trust me if someone really needs to get ahold of you regarding her, they will. She has already proven that by contacting your place of employment. Think about it, the downfall usually happens after a call or text. I got in the habit of deleting the text immediatly. Easier said than done, but trust me on this one.

The only regret I have is why I waited so long to do so. I know why I did...I was afraid and basically being held prisoner by my own kids. The first few weeks are hard. I live in Alaska and it is hard on me when the weather is bad. I can't even remember how long it took with my daughter, seems like a few months. My son was 6 months and well like I said, on week 3 with the other son.

This is what I did. It worked for me, and from what I have read I think it could work for you. I must still remind myself, over and over some days, NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES.

I hope we can help and support each other,

vhappy

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Unread 09-24-2013, 08:14 PM   #111
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Vhappy, Thank you for being so honest about yourself.

You right on how you deal with your daughter & now your sons. I'm so happy to hear about you & your daughters recovery.
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Unread 09-25-2013, 03:06 AM   #112
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Thank you so very much Vhappy...he went and picked her up. She called from some dr.s cell,and he went and picked her up from the hospital,took her by the pharmacy to get her zoloft presc filled,and something else they gave her. When they walked in,I told her she could manipulate him,but not me,that I had done what he was doing and got burnt.Not again.She is very resourceful and realizes that she still has him wrapped. I told her I didnt care to hear the promises of tomorrow that they were empty. I overheard her talking to the nurse at the dr.office,and she was telling her she would be in touch when she could get a chance.She has zero plans to go to the dr.
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Unread 09-25-2013, 07:38 AM   #113
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Hi CRICKET5, do you think it would help if you printed off vhappy's post and gave it to your husband to read? It's so powerful. Would he be able to see that what he's doing isn't helping but, in actuality, hurting?

Thank you, vhappy, for posting. You're the best.

Nancy
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Unread 09-27-2013, 12:28 PM   #114
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Cricket5,
I found great help and support through my Al Anon group. Perhaps that would help you and your husband as well. There are usually many groups in an area and you should try different ones until you find the one that feels like the best fit. The normal advice is to attend at least 6 meetings before you decide if it works for you. I've also attended an open AA meeting and found it to be very interesting to hear the "other side" of the disease. A couple of my home group members are recovering alcoholics and it's been eye-opening to hear their first hand experiences. Al Anon helps you figure out how to save yourself from being dragged into the black hole that addiction is. My Al Anon group literally saved me. I have a sponsor to call anytime I need to talk. It's definitely something to consider for yourself, your husband, and your other children. And if none of the others decide to go, then go for yourself. You deserve it. As a mother I know too well the feeling of watching your child throw away the life line you offer time after time. You must remember the Three C's -you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. Hang in there...and try to remember your husband isn't trying to sabotage you, he hasn't overcome his fear about losing her. He doesn't realize the three C's. She's a survivor and as I'm learning, that will carry her through this once she realizes she has to rely on herself.
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Unread 09-27-2013, 01:49 PM   #115
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Cricket5, You are doing the right thing by your daughter. Your husband is not.
Al Anon as suggested by OHIL is a good idea for you & your husband.
Stay strong.
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Unread 10-19-2013, 12:35 AM   #116
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Cricket5,
Just checking in with you to see how you are. Hope things are going better for you...

OHIL
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Unread 12-19-2013, 02:43 AM   #117
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Well I said last year at this time I wouldnt be in the same place as this...same song second verse,she hasnt change a bit...i absolutely hate this..with all that have.
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Unread 12-20-2013, 09:55 PM   #118
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Cricket5, I understand your pain...my daughter is not physically suffering as she was last year at this time but she is no closer to lasting sobriety. She no longer manipulates her family as she once did but she still sees herself as the victim in her situation. She's found friends who enable her enough to allow her to stay comfortable. While I'm relieved that she is safe, warm, fed, and has medical care, she doesn't have to face where she is in her life nor actually do anything to move forward. I understand your frustration...your daughter is trapped in the disease and you cannot convince your husband that he's not really helping her. You can't control them, but you can ask for help from people who have been through this, too. Find a group, a friend, or counseling to help you develop some tools to use. Please take care of yourself. In the meantime, we're here for you...
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Unread 12-24-2013, 06:12 PM   #119
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Cricket5,
Wishing you peace and love during the holidays. Keep your strength and take care of yourself. Blessings to you and your family.
~ OHIL
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Unread 12-26-2013, 10:51 PM   #120
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So called 'friends' are enabling her. But in return there is no telling what she does,and that just makes me sick to think it,much less type it. She was drinking rubbing alcohol in the bathroom on Christmas eve, and my husband found it. She was sick here all that night,but him and her were able to keep it from me til morning. That is when she asked to go to the er. He took her,and dropped her off. Of course it set the mood and words from her siblings and they confronted my husband and he was ready to fight.WTH! With our sober children,like they caused the problems. He was so ugly to them,and I actually just cant stand him anymore. Why take it out on them for saying what they think.Its like they arent suppose to have an opinion or be hurt, only him.What an ass,he was ready to literally get into a fight.I have had it now and with him too. You walk around on egg shells here because of his attitude for enabling her...Im planning on leaving,my blood pressure is high and I just cant take it anymore
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Unread 12-27-2013, 03:52 PM   #121
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CRICKETS, You & your other children don't have to live like this. You & your other children are right to be upset with both of them.
Good luck in your decisions.
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Unread 01-28-2014, 11:13 AM   #122
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New year same scenerio..some things dont change..I was asleep and heard a knock at the door this morning and went to see and there she was,banging on the door,drunk..we got into it. I even twisted my ankle skirting around with her! I had to come sit down and write to you all because my blood pressure has to be soaring.It is 20 degrees and she is sitting outside.Hope that drunk was worth it,because I am the only one 'home' today and her phone is shut off and Im not giving in.If you are resourceful enough to get rides and drink,then be resourceful to leave, is what I told her(but her dad isnt here and there is no one to enable).He is out of reach until 8pm,and that will make for a long cold stay outside. Maybe I am heartless,but I also have a limit to hearing bs. This 2 day a week job gives her enough money to get cab rides and drink. Always wants to come home to sober up,shower and do it all over again. I really think her mental state is incompetent now,just by the way she acts.So mentally ill and drunk..what did I ever do to deserve this..i just dont know where we went wrong and didnt see her spiral out of control
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Unread 01-28-2014, 11:16 AM   #123
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But i know one thing for sure,she still claims she hasnt a problem and doesnt want help. I hope the alternative of sitting outside with just a blanket and crying is consoling her
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Unread 01-28-2014, 04:33 PM   #124
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CRICKETS, You are not heartless unless you enable her. That would be the easy way to handle her.
You injured yourself dealing with her.
I would call the police to her her off your property.
Good job.
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Unread 01-30-2014, 12:10 PM   #125
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CRICKETS -

You are not heartless. At all. I have heard the same thing about myself, refusing to enable and rescue the alcoholic in my family. You are right. She is resourceful enough to get money and get alcohol, she should be resourceful enough to find somewhere to go. She is hoping that you will "give in" but I would suggest that you don't, because that will just open the door for her to do it over and over and over again. If you were injured during a scuffle with her, that should say enough. I agree with R Lee. Take care and write as much as you need to! Jenm
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Unread 05-06-2014, 02:34 AM   #126
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I think of you all often,and when I do I say a prayer to help all be strong and to bless your lives..I also say it for myself. Last week she had to go to court order drug test..of course she passed,she knew of it days ahead,and of course you know I took her,and that afterwards she left and went on a binge for several days..but my husband and I are getting tougher. The sympathy has about gone dry.Everyday we get stronger.She gets dropped of here at our house and lives outside close by,sometimes in the garage sometimes in the wooded area.To me that is such a sad life,to live that way just to drink.We use to change our plans to always have someone here,but not anymore,we just go on.Of course my husband finds the empties and we know she has been here.If she doesnt stop soon,I dont think she ever will.Time is not on her side,she is getting to the point of no return.THANK YOU EVERYONE!
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Unread 05-06-2014, 08:22 PM   #127
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CRICKETS, Your family including your daughter are in my thoughts & prayers.
The alcoholic knows how to play the system but it catches up with them. Be strong.
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Unread 05-07-2014, 11:59 PM   #128
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Praying for you all. My wish is for you to find strength in each other and for your daughter to find her way to help. We're here for you...
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Unread 05-30-2014, 12:22 AM   #129
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I certainly appreciate the prayers..
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Unread 05-30-2014, 12:33 AM   #130
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My husband and I had to go out of town for about 3 or 4 days a week or so ago..couldnt get out of it,it was to help one of our other kids move..prob two weeks..well anyway I walked in the door tonight to get a call telling me she had been arrested at work for drinking vanilla flavoring and they called police and she went to jail.(I found that it was really interesting while we were on our way back home that she texted and said she had been here all weekend,outside our house..now we know).She had been arrested and jailed,and she did a darn good job keeping it from us. Well my reaction was the same,your drinking right now this minute,your not coming in.And I asked her why she kept it from us these past couple of weeks,she played it off as a misdemeanor. I dont see a end to this.
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Unread 05-30-2014, 12:39 AM   #131
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That looks confusing what I just wrote. While we were away two weeks ago moving our son,she went to jail. We just found out tonight.She kept it a secret .So when she showed up here tonight just after we found out about the latest jail time,she was drinking.Of course I went off,telling her what the little liar she was and is..I told her we had enough,no sympathy here.
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Unread 05-30-2014, 11:55 AM   #132
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CRICKETS, Prayers for you & your family. Stay strong.
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Unread 05-31-2014, 01:12 PM   #133
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I cant stand her anymore,that is so awful to say that. But it is true..she has become something of a liar,and that is something I dont tolerate well at all,just say the truth and go on,but lie. I cannot hold back anymore.I am afraid I will physically harm her for being stoned and whatever it is she does.I think about people that are dying and want to live so bad and here she is not appreciating the fact she does and has a body that is able. I get so pissed I want to scream.I m over this.Im sorry I am being so ugly
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Unread 05-31-2014, 11:36 PM   #134
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CRICKETS, You can not stand her actions.

She is doing what alcoholics do. The will lie, cheat, steal. She will con you into thinking that it is your fault. She will give up her child. She may even take her life leaving you feel empty.

Your anger & feeling ugly about it is confusing. You are not ugly. Do not give her the power to drag you down.

Yes we look at others who do not have a choice & are dying of some terrible disease they have no control over. It is not fair, but it is what it is. She has a disease but chooses to not to recover.

I have to work every day to stay sober. If I get away from my program I am doomed to go back & do all the things she is doing.
Stay strong & do not give in & enable her.
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Unread 06-11-2014, 01:25 PM   #135
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Let it be a lesson to stay strong that someone who would have given up their life for you wont even bat a eye when they call from a hospital and tell you that your alcoholic daughter is in ICU..I dont even care anymore..I am worn slap dab out,and you come to a place that you are so worn down,you dont care..she got out of the hospital amd was drunk 2 days later. I think she has been drinking hand sanitizer,cause everytime she speaks that is exactly what it smells like..she stayed drunked all weekend,sobered up to go before the same judge,and was drunk that same evening..its either her or me,cause i am going to hurt her.I cant stand a self pity,crying drunk around me.If you can stay sober for whatever days to go before a judge then you can stay sober if you want to.
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Unread 06-11-2014, 01:31 PM   #136
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I truly have ran out of sympathy.I am glad I am here at this place,because I can deal with the fact she is gone.She has no desire to even try and Im not fighting for her anymore.I have 2 other children that need us too,and need to here us talk about other things then their drunk sister.They dont deserve that every conversation will ultimately come back to her and her poor choices.
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Unread 06-11-2014, 08:17 PM   #137
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CRICKETS, Sorry for the situation but good for you & the rest of your family. It is what is.

You did not want it to come to this.

Hold your head high & keep*her in your prayers. I will.
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Unread 06-12-2014, 02:11 AM   #138
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YOU STAY STRONG R.LEE! I say prayers for everyone on here everyday,for whatever reason they are here.
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Unread 06-14-2014, 12:39 AM   #139
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Cricket5,

So sorry to hear of this development...you have done all you can for her. As a parent, I know how hard it is to let go, even if you're hurt and angry. Don't beat yourself up about voicing your feelings. No judgment here... Better that you vent them than holding them in. I will pray for all of you. If you have a higher power, turn it over there and try to find some peace. My thoughts are with you - be strong.
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Unread 09-18-2014, 03:03 AM   #140
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I havent been on in quite a while..other daughter engaged and was planning a wedding. I know it was hard on our daughter that was engaged because she is the youngest and could see where that would bother Whit. But in the end, the wedding happened,and Whit showed up drunk out of her mind! If other family members hadnt been there to subdue the situation, it would have ruined it for our other daughter. I havent seen or heard from her in several days. I have to be honest,planning a wedding that is suppose to be one of lifes most happiest moments,and dealing with the fact that our other daughter is at her lowest was very difficult to do..I had to 'fake it' alot! I would literally be driving down the interstate with watery eyes,and I think I deserve an academy award for pulling it off. Now everyone is gone, and it leaves her dad and I wondering about her,is she ok,is she hurt,physically. The wondering has been preying on me the last week,and it has caused me to lash out at our other daughter,badly..but I dont tell her what is going on because they have asked not to be told.But the last few days I have been so ugly to her and complaining about her new husband and his family. Probably because they seem to have the perfect family,and who would want to hear ' doom and gloom' all the time that comes from me..sometimes in life you just get down,and I wonder to myself,if I feel like this and dont have as many mental and alcohol issues to battle,how does my daughter that has those issues ever have a chance..I can feel low,and then bounce out of it ,so to speak..she cant
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Unread 09-19-2014, 12:53 PM   #141
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Crickets, Learn from your other daughter to let go. There is nothing one can do unless the alcoholic wants help.

You getting involved with your daughters marriage & saying the things you have shared with us is in my opinion wrong. You might loose another daughter. They deserve to be the perfect family even though we know there is no such thing as a perfect family.

You are letting the alcoholic behavior of one daughter interfere with your good judgment.

My best to you. Good luck.
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Unread 10-05-2014, 10:04 PM   #142
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R. Lee you are so right and I know better. I guess its easier to alienate than to deal,and that is kinda what I have done..this past week has been phone call after phone call..whit is at the hospital,taken by ambulance,AGAIN, for intoxication..Could someone come pick her up.I say no. Next day,hospital calls,your daughter gave us this number,she was brought in by ambulance,drunk,been here six hours,not quite sober but needs a ride.My heart says yes,but my mind says no.She nees to spend a year in jail.No worries,no struggling,just be around people like herself
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Unread 10-05-2014, 10:08 PM   #143
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I have an ulcer,There is no doubt. I am getting older,and burnt out is not even the word! I really feel so guilty if she goes back to jail,and I know I shouldnt! But I cant help it!
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Unread 10-06-2014, 08:16 PM   #144
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CRICKETS, For your sake you have to stop feeling about her behavior. Do not let her take you down too.
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Unread 10-07-2014, 12:43 PM   #145
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Hi CRICKETS!

I feel for you - I really do. I have put my poor mom (and other family members) through so much with my alcoholism. I thank God that I am sober today, and that I can be a loving daughter. This can be your daughter too, but only if and when she wants it. Please do not let her continued abuse of alcohol and her pity party determine what your mood is or how you treat your other daughter or anyone else. I truly believe that no one is a lost cause. Believe me, I used to think that I was. Maybe the light will come on for her - but what is most damaging is when we allow others' sickness to control how we behave and speak to others. You just cannot continue to let her live rent free in your head. I know you love her. I love those in my family who are alcoholics too. But I cannot change them or make them sober. And I do not let their disease govern my life. I only get one shot at life, as do the rest of us. I want to make each day count and I want to show compassion, caring, and love whenever I am able to, and even when it isn't easy.

I am praying for your family! Please continue to check in with us, and take care of yourself! Jenm
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Unread 10-13-2014, 02:58 AM   #146
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Well for the past few days people you would not believe it! The hospital called yet again on Tuesday,maybe Monday,whatever. This social worker was calling.She said that our daughter was there,had been there and was willing to go to another hospital for treatment. I said if she is willing,that is wonderful.She said they haad called my husband and spoke to him and they really needed us to come,and not talk her out of it,but to pick up belongings or something. Well,a couple of hours passed,and my husband called and said to meet him at hospital. He had a'feeling'. Well I got there and went up to the room,and I cannot begin to describe what I saw! She was drinched in sweat,contorted,and couldnt speak. She was moaning,I thought she was having a stroke. I called my husband and said 'run run run'..he got there and we were screaming at what is happening to her. A nurse came in and apologized and said she had been like that for a couple of hours. The sounds coming from her mouth were just that,moaning. My husband said she wasnt leaving going to some place in lower forty,and get the social worker there,and what were they going to give her,or what was causing this.No one and I mean no one was concerned.I have never seen anything like that. The dr said she could be released to go home. We put her in my car,and I literally flew to a teaching medical hospital about an hour away. They got her in and witnessed her. Her heart rate was extremely rapid,high bp.They gave her some ativan,and started tests. Long story short,she spent several days taking meds,and iv's. She is here awaiting a extensive rehab,that will be unfortunately out patient.
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Unread 10-13-2014, 03:07 AM   #147
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I believe in my heart had they taken her to that community hospital she would be dead,and from poor ole neglect. I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT! I could have never believed someone could contort their body like that. I still find it hard it was withdrawal. It had only been maybe 14 or so hours since her last drink. I have worked in a nursing home before and seen alot,but never what I witnessed that day. My other daughter came to see her and stay with her some in the hospital.That was good. A nurse spoke to my husband about al anon,that was good,he didnt close the subject.
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Unread 10-13-2014, 03:13 AM   #148
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In the car on the way to the medical center,she couldnt sit,but arch and try and talk.She had her fingers spread wide opened,stiff, behind her head,elbows bent and trying to say help.I did get that. That is a vision I will never get out of my head,and that in that hospital bed.
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Unread 10-13-2014, 01:43 PM   #149
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withdrawal symptoms and seizure activity can be deadly, I wish you and your family the best, my prayers are with you.
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Unread 10-13-2014, 02:26 PM   #150
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CRICKETS, I am glad your daughter is now being taken care of.
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