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Unread 10-31-2014, 12:48 AM   #401
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Tough night for me. I attended the wake of an old high school friend's daughter. She was murdered by an older man who claimed to be her friend. The daughter was 26 years young. By all accounts as beautiful inside as she was out. I feel so much sorrow and pain for the family and friends of a young lady who's life was taken far to soon.....

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Unread 10-31-2014, 04:05 AM   #402
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Saint,

Tough night all around. While my sponsor and I were meeting this afternoon, her husband rolled his motorcycle ... no helmet. If not for our notorious tumble weeds and sagebrush, he would have died. Instead he has concussion, multiple broken ribs, broken arm in 3 places including shoulder socket, and possible spinal injuries. Not as tragic as your young lady since he chose to ride with no helmet, but emotionally exhausting for her, none the less. They are the same age as my 45-year-old daughter -- have children, etc.

This is where the Serenity Prayer becomes essential to our sobriety: accepting the things we cannot change. I will hold you and her family in my thoughts and prayers on this sleepless night.

Love, Susie
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Unread 10-31-2014, 06:01 AM   #403
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My thoughts are with you Saint and your friend's family. What a horrible, horrible tragedy.

Susie, I hope that your sponsor's husband heals well with no lasting injuries from the concussion and hopefully no debilitating spinal injury.

My thoughts are with you both.

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Unread 10-31-2014, 09:17 AM   #404
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Saint with you and thinking of this tragic loss and hoping for the best for you.
Much support to you and thoughts and prayers at this time of need. I am very sorry to hear.

Susie, with you at this time also and much support to you. Hope and pray the best for you and this family.
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Unread 10-31-2014, 09:41 AM   #405
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Saint, Sorry for the loss of your friends daughter. Life is not fair. Stay strong. You help me stay sober.
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Unread 10-31-2014, 04:56 PM   #406
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I am so very sorry Saint. I am shocked. I have only my arms and my heart.

My love to you.

Loveness and thoughts Saint.
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Unread 10-31-2014, 08:54 PM   #407
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Saint,

How are you and her family holding up? It's so hard when it is senseless. We are all thinking of you.

Love, Susie
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Unread 10-31-2014, 10:35 PM   #408
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So sorry Saint-always a reminder to us to seize each day and count our blessings. No answers as to why such tragedies happen-know it is so hard for those left behind to grieve. Take care-nan
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Unread 11-01-2014, 06:42 AM   #409
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Good morning Saint. Bright blessings to you.

I simply want to say you will be in my thoughts today. Shock can be dangerous to us.

Stay safe.

Loveness to you Saint.
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Unread 11-01-2014, 08:07 AM   #410
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I'm so sorry to hear this, Saint. I am praying for you - and for those involved. Take care, Jenm
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Unread 11-02-2014, 01:01 PM   #411
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Good evening Saint. Bright blessings to you.

I am hoping that this awful shock is ebbing away. My friend my thoughts always with you, more at this time.

Love and safeness to you Saint.
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Unread 11-04-2014, 11:30 AM   #412
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Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. There hasn't been a day gone by I haven't thought of the young woman and her family. I pray they find the strength to overcome this and let light into their hearts once again.

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Unread 11-27-2014, 07:42 PM   #413
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Hope you all have had or are having a safe and happy Thanksgiving.

Peace,
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Unread 11-27-2014, 10:25 PM   #414
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Thanksgiving: gratitude for all the support on this website. Best wishes to you, Saint, and to the young woman's family.

Happy thanksgiving to all.

Love, Susie
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Unread 11-28-2014, 09:19 AM   #415
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Hey Saint! Thanksgiving was a day full of gratitude for me. Gratitude that I am sober. My 6 yr old son and I did not attend the family dinner due to my brother's drinking and lies about his drinking. We ended up getting a pizza for dinner, watching a movie, and I am thankful for that! Love, Jenm
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Unread 11-28-2014, 10:52 AM   #416
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jenm, Good idea avoiding your brothers drinking & how people enable the alcoholic.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving full of gratitude & being thankful where we are in life.
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Unread 11-28-2014, 12:41 PM   #417
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Good evening Saint. Bright blessings to you.

I'm not sure if it still is in your neck of the woods, but happy thanksgiving to you my brother. As a chap over here in Blighty, not quite up to date of what it is like for you all, but i can say that from Blightys point of view, your love and support means i feel like its thanksgiving every day.

Thank you Saint. Loveness to all those you are supporting through disturbing times.

Keep sharing you peace Saint. Loveness to you.
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Unread 11-28-2014, 12:56 PM   #418
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thanks Saint, hope you had a nice day too. Everything was ok with staying sober, but my dad drank too much and started to get a little mean, but I redirected him and left, so it was ok. It's just the part of being too sensitive with joking remarks to me is the hardest part for me to learn to deal with.
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Unread 12-08-2014, 10:54 AM   #419
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Lostdog,

Those joking remarks are a reflection of the joker's insecurities, need to feel like a big man, feeling of power over you, etc. You pick the ones that fit.

You are not TOO sensitive. Your senses are right on. Teasing can be mean. Drunks can be mean.

Be kind and gentle to yourself. You are not to blame for your dad's insensitivity.

We care for you. I'm proud of you that you took yourself out of that hurtful situation.

Love, Susie
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Unread 12-25-2014, 12:44 PM   #420
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Good afternoon Saint. Bright blessings to you.

Happy Christmas my brother. You are a consitant rock for me, right from the word go. I owe you this sober Christmas.

Loveness Saint. X
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Unread 12-25-2014, 01:45 PM   #421
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Thanks Susie and Saint hope ur days are beautiful and wonderful.
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Unread 12-25-2014, 03:17 PM   #422
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Merry Christmas to everyone. We had a wonderful Christmas at the R. Lee household.
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Unread 12-25-2014, 11:57 PM   #423
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I had a wonderful Christmas with family the last two days. Lots of love, laughing and a bit of traveling. The time passes much to fast. Glad to hear everyone is well.

Peace,
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Unread 12-26-2014, 09:54 AM   #424
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Peace to you, too, Saint.

Love, Susie
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Unread 12-28-2014, 08:59 AM   #425
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Good afternoon Saint. Bright blessings to you.

I am so glad you had a sober and happy Christmas. Sometimes if one is in receipt of so much support it is hard to communicate that those that give the support are loved as much by those that receive it.

As i am the one who has had all you've got, i don't have any of Tryns usual waffle.

Thank you Saint. I love you my brother.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you Saint.
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Unread 12-28-2014, 03:13 PM   #426
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So happy that R. Lee and yourself- Saint had a great Christmas. May it continue into the new year with your new self. Blessings.
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Unread 01-01-2015, 01:06 PM   #427
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Good after Saint. Bright blessings to you.

I wanted to wish you a Happy New Year. I also want you to know i can't wait to share with you all the wonders of this new year holds for us.

Always in my thoughts dear Saint.

Be peaceful, be healthy and keep strong. Lovness to you Saint.
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Unread 01-01-2015, 04:54 PM   #428
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Thank you Tryn. A new year filled with new possibilities.
Enjoy each and every moment. The miracle of life surrounds us all.

Peace,
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Unread 01-01-2015, 06:39 PM   #429
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Happy New Year, Saint! Always grateful for you, your kind words, and friendship. Jenm
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Unread 01-12-2015, 01:26 AM   #430
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I've been catching up on all the posts from the last few days as I've been busy with my annual running festivities with my loved one and friends. 2 days, 4 theme parks, 39.3 miles run. I often marvel at how running parallels our quest for sobriety, our struggles at times to maintain sobriety. There are tough patches, sometimes early on where we struggle, it hurts, we question ourselves, ask why, to what end this matters? Then seemingly out of no where everything clicks, it becomes easy, one foot in front of the other and yet we maintain balance. One also comes to realize if we push to hard, to early, we may crash and burn. It is about pace. The longer the distance the more we must be aware.... of our breath, our stride, our surroundings and know enough of ourselves, to run within ourselves. The race really isn't with others , it is with ourselves. Capitalizing on our strengths and accepting our weaknesses. Placing one foot in front of the other. And should we fall, we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and carry on. One foot in front of the other. We chose our goal. That's how we climb mountains, run marathons. That's how we stay sober.

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Unread 01-12-2015, 09:34 AM   #431
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Great job Saint.
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Unread 01-12-2015, 10:27 AM   #432
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Great analogy, Saint! Although I am not a runner, I do participate in this "run" for our lives. Good advise. Thanks, Susie
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Unread 01-12-2015, 12:23 PM   #433
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OH to be out and about, good for you and have a great time running, it is so good for the brain. Nice to hear from you and thanks for the nice post.
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Unread 01-12-2015, 12:49 PM   #434
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Wow Saint! That is a lot of running. In the cold air, I will run out across the street to my mailbox and then I will run back to the warmth of my house. That is all. I'm so glad you enjoyed your travels and it is so good to hear from you! Jenm
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Unread 01-12-2015, 09:57 PM   #435
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Saint, I'm also a runner. Well, I have been on and off when not getting drunk...

I'm hoping that's one of the things that will help me on this journey, because I feel better after a run without fail. I did quite a bit of running over Christmas and also drank very little, but sadly that was reversed until the other day when I joined this group.
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Unread 01-13-2015, 12:11 PM   #436
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Ahhhh a fellow runner!!

I'm not pushing running on you but any activity performed during times when one would normally drink can be beneficial.a We create positive behaviors that replace the bad. Some people have also find having journals to track our thoughts and feelings can help. Being aware of our triggers to drink and then actively seeking out solutions is part of getting and staying sober. It is a journey. One where we learn about ourselves, being aware, accepting we are human, that it is ok to be 'alcoholic', and move on and create a more fulfilling life for ourselves and by extension our loved ones.

My worst day sober is better than my best day drunk.

Keep working it!

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Unread 01-14-2015, 07:11 PM   #437
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Saint, thank you!

I got into running a few years ago and have always found my way back to it. You're so right, being active is incredibly beneficial, both physically and mentally.
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Unread 01-18-2015, 10:01 AM   #438
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Good afternoon Saint. Bright blessings to you.

I have only a couple of things to say to you........

Thank you Saint

I love you Brother.

(Oh and a 3rd, you, Secret Tiger and Jenm live in the same tree Re running.....You have heard of conker trees?.....you lot live in the bonkers tree!!!)

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Thank you, and loveness to you Saint.
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Unread 01-22-2015, 10:28 PM   #439
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I had a conversation a while ago with a friend and I was telling him how good I felt after a run. His response " Kind of like when one stops banging their head against a wall"? Haha!!

Don't kid yourself. We're all bonkers. : )

Peace,
Saint
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Unread 01-23-2015, 09:33 AM   #440
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So true! I resisted running for years, and now I wish I could.
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Unread 01-24-2015, 10:04 AM   #441
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Good afternoon Saint. Bright blessings to you.

Saint?, can i take you back for a minute?

Over in Blighty, it has long since been mused that excercise produces the pleasure chemicals in the brain, that alcohol and drugs synthetically produce. I worked for an organisation here and we asked for volunteer adicts to enter into an "excercise program", during the early days of their recovery.

Well Saint, heroine, crack, alcoholics, oh my.....there was a "waiting list" for those that wanted to try.

It was almost a done (funded) deal, when funders pulled out as they were worried that if one of our own hit the deck....wait for it........"they could sue".....yup.

Dear, dear. Hay hoe.

My question Saint......were you a runner before alcoholism nearly killed you, or was it something you took up in recovery? Whatever the event, how has running helped you sustain sobriety?

It fascinates me. I shall express from my perspective.

On Feb 9th, it is exactly 2 years since i crashed my car drunk. In these 2 years for the first time in my life, i have played by the rules. I had grown up overnight. I will always regret what i could have done to others getting there, but thankfully, i, and all around me, got away with it.

It was my driver into this family, that has now become an essential part of my life.

Suddenly, i had to "walk everywhere". AND through my early recovery. I may be talking absolute nonsense, but i attribute that process that enable sustainability in my recovery.

I really do believe that pathways forward for those in early recovery after support and their Drs advice, to take some excercise. It is so important.

So m y brother i am so used to saying to my faily here, "all power to your elbow", power to your legs my friend!!

Loveness and strength to you Saint.
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Unread 01-24-2015, 08:11 PM   #442
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Tryn,
The short answer is no, I didn't run until I was sober. I started about 10 months into my sobriety I believe.

The long story: I had participated in a family meet with the 6th grade girls track team. My daughter talked me into running the 100M and the 400m events. Parents against the little ones. Well I'll tell you them dam girls run fast. They beat me in the 100M event and it was me and the slowest girl neck and neck fighting over last place in the 400M. Yup, I took the prize and it damn near killed me: ).

I had always been active in my younger years, basketball in highschool, karate and weights until my mid thirties. Yup drank right through it. When my daughter was born I would spend a lot of time working around the house, projects outside and in as well as cutting my firewood for the winter. Drinking through it all.

Running became an outlet for me. I was newly sober, newly divorced, into a new house close to my daughter but I had lost interest in woodworking and outdoor activities. Things I had enjoyed in my prior life. Running was cheap. I could take my shoes and shorts and run anywhere. No membership fees needed. It got my blood pumping and my muscles sore. It also gave me goals. I remember how happy I was the first time I was able to run one mile. It was early in the morning on a summer day. I was alone on the track and I was elated as I finally came around the last turn and crossed the finish line. And then limped sorely out of my vehicle as I arrived home : )

Running filled my time and helped me stay sober. Today running is a means to continue meeting goals for health, for fitness, and to challenge myself mentally as well as physically. I get opportunities to push my limits. I get to experience the outdoors again as well as experience things I had never thought. The enjoyment of running on a winter night when the moonlight sparkles off the frozen ice crystals. Or the agony of trying to cool down under the shade of a tree during a mid summer run when the pace was too fast for my fitness and the temps. I've run 6 miles to pick up my vehicle after it was repaired because I could. I've run through a cemetary and stopped to visit with my grandparents and an old friend. Running has helped me find myself. Just one tool but I am fortunate to be able to still use that tool frequently.

Thanks for inquiring Tryn.

Peace,
Saint
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Unread 01-24-2015, 11:11 PM   #443
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Saint, At my age, I'll keep walking, but I hope to increase my distance.

I let you run for me!
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Unread 01-25-2015, 08:37 AM   #444
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Saint, I also remember that first mile - in fact, the first km. When I managed 5km without having to stop I felt like I'd just jogged up and down Mt Everest!

Now I just love going out for as long as I can or feel like, especially when I get to run in the mountains.

Susie, I also love walking. Again, if I can walk in the mountains or the countryside, I want to be out all day. I think many people underestimate just how great walking is for the body and mind.
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Unread 01-25-2015, 09:20 AM   #445
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Good afternoon Saint. Bright blessings to you.

Thank you so much for sharing, and what blazes through to me is your stoicism, your will power and determination, but most of all i can now see where it comes from. I am sure i could replicate what you wrote and change but a few words, and THAT, is what it feels like sometimes to become, and sustain sobriety.

My brother you say running has enabled you to find yourself. The dichotomy for me is that i have spent my life trying to stop "running away from things"! Ok, slightly tongue in cheek, but i know alot more now about where all the love you give me and the family here, comes from.

I am so grateful for you.

Keep strong, keep running, Loveness to you dear Saint.
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Unread 03-08-2015, 09:09 AM   #446
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Good afternoon dear Saint. Bright blessings to you.

I may have posted last here, but time has moved on and i wish to share again with you how much, along with R Lee, you certinaly enable me, but i am sure the many here that find comfort in your words and experience would express the very same.

Thank you Saint.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you Saint.
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Unread 03-09-2015, 07:48 AM   #447
lostdog
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yes, thanks Saint and how are you doing?
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Unread 03-10-2015, 11:55 PM   #448
Saint
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Tryn, Lostdog,

Thank you for your kind thoughts. I am no different than either of you. Just one alcoholic helping another and doing as I have learned from RLee and Carlyo. Just trying to give back some of what was so freely given to me.

My daughter has had words yet again with her stepfather. When they argue he throws my alcoholism in her face. He despises me, is a controlling person. My daughter will have none of it and words are exchanged. My ex cannot control him nor temper his hatred of me. He will not meet to discuss issues he has with me. He is jealous of me or so I have been told. He has never hit my daughter but his language is abusive. My daughter told her Mother tonight she will not go back home if there are going to be issues. I struggle with what is the best course of action. We will get through this.

Your timing is impeccable Lost dog : )

Peace,
Saint
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Unread 03-11-2015, 09:54 AM   #449
R. Lee
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Saint, It is in your X's husband. Too bad he acts like this.

I have not said this in a long time but you help me stay sober one day at a time. You are an example on how to live sober & accept life on life's terms.
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Unread 03-11-2015, 10:14 AM   #450
Tryntryagain
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Good afternoon dear Saint. Bright blessings to you.

Eeewwww, what a nasty piece of work that chap sounds. Both your dear self and R Lee tell me in these times that i can only control my actions, i can not control others actions and behaviour.

My own children who have in their grown up anger chucked my alcoholism, and the effect it had on them, back in my face. ..................

Road rage.

It is the same thing.

When i used to drive in London, a dear friend said to me it was a simple equasion......"see a gap....fill it". And so that led onto all manner of road rage incidents. So Mr dear Friend how exactly do you deal with road rage then?......"you burst their bubble my friend". Simply hold up your hands and say...."i am sorry", they have nowhere to go.

When my children, or significant others throw my alcholism back in my face, i first say i am sorry, and then inside me i know their anger is actually coming from somewhere else, i am just their target.

It makes it no easier my dear Brother, although i urge all of us when it will happen, our past behaviour and choices will be given back to us as next to useless, ah yes, but it is simply not the case now. THAT, Saint is what keeps us sober.

As R Lee says, on my struggles, on my journey, you really are a true example of living life on lifes terms, however difficult that gets for you.

No...."good on ya mate!"....just a big hug from across the pond simply to share i recognise how challenging this must be for you.

If it helps, i care very, very much indeed how your heart is hurting. My love and thughts yours Saint.

Be peaceful, keep pounding those sidewalks, loveness to you dear Saint.
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