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Unread 12-10-2013, 10:55 AM   #351
Tryntryagain
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Thank you Saint.

The path i am on, as you know, has so many components and thumping slices of luck. However, this forum and your dear and good self have enabled me to see these things for myself, 1 day at a time.

Peace and Loveness to you my friend.
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Unread 12-11-2013, 02:08 PM   #352
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Tryn,

I am not a big believer in 'luck'. I do believe we put ourselves in positions for good or bad things to happen to us. You found yourself here because there was still a glimmer of hope somewhere deep down inside that you could kick alcohol. You knew you were on the verge of succumbing to this disease. You put yourself in the position of reaching out, working hard and pulling yourself up by your bootstraps. We helped show you the way as others here have done for me but you are doing the work it takes to get and stay sober. It is HARD work, and you are putting in the effort, that is all on you : ) .

You not only give those still struggling hope, You give me hope.

Thank you,
Saint
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Unread 12-11-2013, 04:11 PM   #353
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Saint, not only "how right you are"....but what a beautiful thing to say.

Peace and loveness to you dear Saint.
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Unread 12-21-2013, 11:12 AM   #354
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Hello Saint. Bright blessings to you.

You know what i think of you Saint, so all i can say is ......THANK YOU, and a very, very happy Christmas to you.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you my dear friend Saint.
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Unread 12-24-2013, 10:26 AM   #355
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Tryn,

Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas. You've worked hard for your sobriety and are deserving of all the good now coming your way. May peace and joy fill your heart this Holiday Season!

Peace,
Saint
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Unread 12-24-2013, 11:27 AM   #356
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Saint, Merry Christmas. You help me stay sober just for today.
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Unread 12-27-2013, 11:15 AM   #357
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Hello Saint. Bright blessings to you.

I am just dropping into your house to ask you if you have had a good Christmas, and how you are getting along inside you at this time? You have spent sooo much time coming to my place and supporting me on my journey, and thanks to it, i am a stronger fellow than that of the past. I think of you often and care even more. I hope your Christmas has been as rewarding as mine.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you Saint.
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Unread 12-29-2013, 09:58 AM   #358
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Tryn,

I've had a wonderful Christmas!! It's been a very busy two weeks. I've bounced from one Christmas gathering to another. Family gatherings, gatherings with my girlfriend's family, gathering's with friends.Spent a weekend in Boston with my girlfriend, daughter and mother and father. We attended a play and visited the infamous 'Faneul Hall' for some shopping and eating. I also ended up with a bottle of liquor somehow at a yankee swap. The last person to pick liked my present more so I ended up with his( I traded away the booze after for some food). It's very easy to trade booze you know ; 0 . Training for my marathon is wrapping up and am in the 'taper' period where the body recovers and rests a little in preparation for the big day, January 12th.

Peace,
Saint
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Unread 12-29-2013, 10:45 AM   #359
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Hello Dear Saint. Bright blessings to you.

What an incredibly busy man you are!! It is so hard to imagine that life was not always this way for you. It feels as if you have gone round the dark side of the moon and now you are in bright, bright sunlight. I have to say, it suits you so very well!

I have popped you in my diary for the 12th Jan so i can remember to ask you how you got on. Personally i think you are a masochist, but hey.....each to their own!

Seriously, i can only imagine the feeling of freedom that marathon running must give you. I think freedom of thought, freedom within oneself is what my brother Saint has worked so very hard for. I do look up to many my friend, and i am not putting you on a pedastal, but i admire you so very much Saint. The handful of people i feel that way about i follow as an example. In my daily life i may get to a "stuck moment".....it is in those moments i will think..."what would Saint/R Lee do?" Moreover.....what would they say to me right now.

For me it is almost like having a safety net.

THAT is what you can mean to others, you most certainly do to me.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you Saint.
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Unread 12-29-2013, 08:40 PM   #360
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Tryn, That is a way of looking at each other here. A safety net. I like that term.
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Unread 12-29-2013, 09:03 PM   #361
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Tryn,

Ha, I chuckle at the masochist remark. It reminded of a conversation I once had with a non runner friend. I had told him of how good I felt after a run and his response, " kind of like when you stop banging your head against the wall" ? Still brings a smile to my face, lol.

I have personally come a long ways but there is yet a long way to go!! ( I hope! ) My girlfriend can't imagine me drinking the way I did, she can't picture it in her head but she does recognize some of my addictive behaviors. Sweets for one. I can go a week or two or three and not have a craving but I'll eventually have a weak moment and binge!! I never was a binge drinker, just a very consistent one and in volumes not at all healthy for a person, or personal relationships, ad nauseum. I also know I am one drink away from losing all I have gained. And I am at peace with that fact. My alcoholism is a part of me. It defines a part of me but not all of me. I used to think I controlled my drinking even though I knew deep down I was a drunk. Oh how we active alcoholics rationalize our drinking!!!! Sobriety for me means accepting my alcoholism AND Making Peace with it. That is one of the ways I stay sober. I also stay sober by coming here. Time has a way of erasing the past from our memories or minimalizing past behaviors. Thinking through that first drink is easy, I have too much to lose, and I love who I am today, all my faults included!!!

Tryn I am no better or worse than anyone else here. I can only offer my thoughts and experiences to help those that suffer. I've learned from Rlee, Carly O, and the many others who have passed through this forum. We all have much to offer each other. I read a quote the other day that struck me. I do not know the author but it resonated with me. It went something like this.... " When we are depressed we are living in the past, When anxious living in the future, When at peace living in the moment" . I find myself living more in the moment these days than I ever have before and it is one of the best feelings in the world.

I wish you peace my friend.

Warm regards,
Saint
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Unread 12-30-2013, 02:19 PM   #362
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Hello Saint. Bright blessings to you.

That was a simply beautiful post. Beautiful.

Massive loveness to you Dear Saint.
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Unread 12-31-2013, 08:08 PM   #363
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HAPPY NEW YEAR Dear Saint!!!

Hope yer training is going ok.

Thank you for all you are to me.

Loveness
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Unread 01-01-2014, 09:18 PM   #364
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Happy New Year Tryn!!!!!
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Unread 01-10-2014, 01:27 PM   #365
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Travelling to destination of my 2nd Marathon which will be held this Sunday. Nervously excited!!!!!!!
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Unread 01-10-2014, 10:53 PM   #366
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Go for it Saint!!
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Unread 01-15-2014, 08:42 AM   #367
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Thanks Lee!!

Marathon #2 completed!! Had an awesome weekend with a bunch of great people. As Far as the marathon itself I did well until mile 26. Then the wheels starting coming off the bus so to speak, lol. I managed to pick up the pace for the last 1/2 mile to finish strong and under 4 hrs. Can't wait to do it again next year!

Peace,
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Unread 01-15-2014, 01:41 PM   #368
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Good going Saint. If you got to hit the wall it best it is in your 26th mile.
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Unread 01-15-2014, 02:46 PM   #369
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I couldn't agree more Lee.
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Unread 01-16-2014, 09:46 AM   #370
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Excellent job, Saint! I think that is awesome. I would hit a wall about the first tenth of mile ONE, so I think you're doing pretty well. Jenm
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Unread 01-16-2014, 01:13 PM   #371
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I'll never run a marathon, but I am so happy that you can and do. Thanks for everything.

Gma Susie
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Unread 01-18-2014, 11:20 AM   #372
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Thank you Gmasusie
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Unread 01-18-2014, 11:22 AM   #373
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Thanks Jennm.
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Unread 02-02-2014, 01:46 PM   #374
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Hi

I am feeling very strong, but my inner voice is very weak. I decided to read your thread... I had to stop at this: (page 5)

I finished reading the Carrie Fisher book "Wishful Drinking." She recalled someone saying 'most that find heaven first stood at the doorstep of hell'.

My first name is Valerie, and it's meaning is 'strong'. I have a plaque hanging in my room that states this.

Your first post stated you were a functioning alcoholic. My thought is we are all functioning.. because we found US!

I want to retract my 'alcoholic and it sucks' glasses, and I now call them my 'I'm an alcoholic, and that's amazing' glasses.

Through all of these posts I can see myself. What I am. What I have been. What I could be. What I want to be!

THANK YOU doesn't even begin to explain what my inner voice is shouting!

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
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Unread 02-03-2014, 10:34 PM   #375
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hockeygirl,

Your inner voice will grow stronger with sobriety. Sobriety is new ground for you and you are probably feeling uncertain about your life. You're doing something outside of the box we normally operate in and that can lead to anxiety, fear, fear of change.Keep working on your goal, your goal of sobriety. We move towards and become that which we think about.

Stay Strong,
Saint
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Unread 02-03-2014, 10:57 PM   #376
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hockeygirl, Think through that 1st drink. Take it one day at a time. You can do this.
You are amazing. You looked at you drinking & sought help.
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Unread 02-04-2014, 04:06 AM   #377
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Hello Saint. Bright blessings to you my friend.

Just passing by your house and i thought i would pop in and share a hug with you. I hope all is well with you, and this is a "periodic" THANK YOU, for all the support you continue to give me.

Loveness to you Saint.
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Unread 02-07-2014, 05:36 PM   #378
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Tryn,

Your welcome. I'm glad you have found your path to peace and happiness.

Thanks for popping by. I love the company.

Peace,
Saint
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Unread 02-08-2014, 04:21 PM   #379
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Hello Saint, bright blessings to you!

There are a couple of things i know now on this journey, that is i am "on@ the path to peace and contentment, a very long way to go my friend. Having you a part of my life, such an important part of my personal development.

I am talking to a fellow that has the fortitude to run around the world! It is all i have to make it to the bus stop!

Loveness to you Saint.
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Unread 02-09-2014, 12:14 PM   #380
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Tryn,

No matter the goal it all starts with that first step.

The marathon for me is a goal, it is not the end that matters. It is the challenge, the personal discovery, the accepting of one's weakness and finding one's strength.

The marathon, as is life, is about the journey.

You are well along the path that others have taken before you.

Your steps are yours, the are unique, they are yours alone....... I enjoy viewing the impression of each footfall as you walk along your path.

Regards,
Saint
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Unread 03-17-2014, 11:41 AM   #381
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A coworker's daughter in law passed away last week from a drug overdose. Her drug of choice was heroin. She was 36 y/o and left behind 6 young children from 3 different fathers. She started with oxy till she ran out of money, then the heroin. Arrested buying with a child in the car. Arrested another time for leaving her young child in a running car in the driveway while she slept in the house. She had a few more run ins with the law, court ordered rehab, etc. but nothing worked. I saw a picture of her and her oldest daughter two weeks before she died. From the outside everyone looked happy. Another life lost much to young to addiction.
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Unread 03-17-2014, 01:41 PM   #382
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Saint.

I hear you my Brother.

"Another lost to addiction"......you say 'nothing worked".......Love does.

My condolences my friend, and to those that couldn't love the understanding she needed her enough.

Loveness Saint.
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Unread 03-17-2014, 05:03 PM   #383
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Saint as said as it is she had a purpose & that is she shows us what can happen if we pick up. May she R.I.P.
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Unread 03-18-2014, 06:26 AM   #384
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Hi Saint, my sympathies to you and your coworker's family.

It is so heartbreaking and happening much too often. May she rest in peace.

Nancy
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Unread 03-18-2014, 07:59 AM   #385
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Saint, yes, it is just awful the tragedies that surround addiction. If only folks would understand that there are all kinds of help out there if they would be strong enough to take the first step. All we can do is to keep trying to get the word out and support those who are looking for a way out.

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Unread 03-22-2014, 07:37 PM   #386
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Good evening Saint, bright blessings to you brother.

Nan is right. Just keep runing out that message. It kills.

For me it is not the passing, just like a paramedic i see too many of them, it is not what is left behind, but what is left unfinished.

I simply feel it is our opportunity to stop those lights going out in others eyes. Some tiny lives, some struggling lives, some that think they have no hope. Our lives should be about communicating in all the ways we do as individual people, the value of being, the worth of "you". Reaching out, touching, empowering smiles inside, encouraging belief in each other, to build the houses inside ourselfs that we can live in.

We can furnish each other with our talents and abilities. We can talk of landscapes, we can juggle wishes and dreams, and turn them into positivity, energy and progress, grow, and grow together?

Saving lives should not only be our ambition, making them so, so, wonderful the weapon against disbelief.

Reality?, give, give and give some more. Those that feel empty, fill up. Those that cry, mop up after them. Those that are frightened, be with them.

Never leave anyones side. All will be as well as can be then.

Saint, in our worlds, lets do all we can to make sure this never happens again.

Loveness Saint.
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Unread 03-22-2014, 08:31 PM   #387
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Nan, Tryn,

That's the irony of addiction. To be able to hope for a better life when one is at their lowest and not feeling worthy of any hope. Addiction steals our self esteem, our drive to better ourselves, whittling it away until there is none left. It is a miracle any of us make it out alive.

Yes, education, knowledge, understanding, reaching out to those that need help are great places to start. Sadly it may never be enough for all. There is a piece of the puzzle still missing and it is yet to be found.

I will say this website was here for me at a time when I needed the help. My ears were open and poof an advertisement for addiction survivors came over the air! Thanks Nancy!
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Unread 08-01-2014, 08:58 PM   #388
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Hello,
As of August 1 2014 I'm officially 5 years sober. There have been great days, good days, so so days, bad days, and terrible days but I've lived through them all sober; thanks to my family here!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I wish you all peace.

Regards,
Saint
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Unread 08-01-2014, 10:27 PM   #389
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Saint you have always been an inspiration to my sobriety. I have learned so much from you.

Thank you for helping so many who have come here for help.

Yes we have to live life on lifes terms but as long as we think through our actions we will be just fine.

CONGRATULATIONS SAINT!!!
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Unread 08-01-2014, 10:35 PM   #390
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Thank you Lee.

Thank you.

Peace,
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Unread 08-02-2014, 06:51 AM   #391
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Hi Saint, congratulations on 5 years! Fabulous!

I really appreciate all you've done here to help and inspire others (whether you know it or not, but you are an inspiration). You've really shown that it can be done - both sustained sobriety and running marathons (I get tired just thinking about it)!

Again, my heartfelt congratulations.

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Unread 08-02-2014, 07:52 AM   #392
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Thank you Nancy for all you do here and on the other forums. You help change the life's of so many. I am just one of the fortunate ones to have found this site during my time of need.

Thank you!

Regards,
Saint
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Unread 08-23-2014, 06:57 AM   #393
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Good morning Saint. Bright blessings to you.

I wish to apologise for missing such a landmark for you. 5 years, i can not comprehend that journey at the moment, but when i get to 5 years i will know what you know.

I want to put something to you from another perspective quickly.

I have no doubt your sobriety has empowered and enabled you in all manner of ways on your journey through life, but i would like to say that your sobriety enabled me. Through these last couple of years, your calming and sober influence has enabled me to dig myself out of angry and confused holes. You seemed to always know why i was feeling the way i was, and was able to simplify and communicate the peace you always offer me.

As well as congratulating you on a truly amazing journey to 5 years sober, i also want to say thank you my brother for your guidance through your sobriety to support me in finding mine.

Huge Loveness to you Saint.
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Unread 08-23-2014, 09:32 PM   #394
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Thank you Tryn. Thank you for putting the work in and not giving up on yourself. You've come a long way baby!! : )

Thank you for the kind words.

Peace,
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Unread 08-24-2014, 09:10 AM   #395
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Dear Saint, thank you, bright blessings to you.

Yup, i have come along way. I threw the kitchen sink at everyone on my journey. I tried my very, very best to make sure no one would stand by me. The more i tried, the more you stood by me.

Fort Knox is "small change", to what i owe to you and this family. This is not "sucking up", at last....it's called reality.

Saint you have also got a "first". No one has ever called me baby before! I shall accept it as a compliment on my youth!

Massive hugs and loveness to you Saint.
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Unread 08-24-2014, 09:11 AM   #396
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Saint!

A very happy belated sobriety birthday to you! You words are always clear, concise, and caring. You are a blessing to me, and many others. You are proof that no matter what life may bring our way, we can get through it sober. Also, I am in awe of anyone who can run farther than me (which is from the store to my car in the rain). That is admirable. I admire you! Take care! Jenm
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Unread 08-24-2014, 11:18 AM   #397
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Thank you Jen for your kind words. Most importantly, thank you for reaching out and helping others that have found their way here. Your advice, insight and time spent here is invaluable.

Thank you Jen!!

Saint
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Unread 08-29-2014, 05:50 PM   #398
Tryntryagain
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Good evening Saint. Bright blessings to you.

I just wanted to pop round your place to thank you. I have had an important day today which went well. You were in my thoughts during the day. The peace you have always offered me, i called upon. Thank you so much.

My loveness to you Saint.
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Unread 08-29-2014, 08:57 PM   #399
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I humbly accept your thanks Tryn. Good things happen to you and I when sober!

The crickets are chirping,
Saint
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Unread 08-30-2014, 11:42 AM   #400
Tryntryagain
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Good afternoon Saint. Bright blessings to you.

I can imagine you putting your hand out to shake mine to humbly say thanks, i would knock it out of the way and jump up and give you a great big hug!!

The crikets are chirping?.......My brother i am listening to the "cricket now", my cricket isnt chirping, we are getting stuffed!

Loveness to you Saint.
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