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Unread 03-19-2014, 11:45 AM   #501
Frankie
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So true Saint. Hope you're doing great!

Frank
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Unread 03-19-2014, 12:46 PM   #502
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Frank,

I doing well Frank. Teaching the daughter to drive...... yikes!
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Unread 03-19-2014, 08:16 PM   #503
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She's not 13 anymore? I can't believe the time that's past me and I didn't even see it. Have fun with the driving lessons! Do they even have drivers ed in hs these days? And no pe either. Don't ya just love it. Good luck Saint, and feel lucky you have a smart girl.

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Unread 03-19-2014, 10:03 PM   #504
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Saint, Getting that drivers license is a brand new chapter is a childs life. 1st taste of freedom. She has a good dad to show her the way.
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Unread 03-20-2014, 12:07 AM   #505
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If you were local I would break down and go to a meeting with you Lee and Denny's afterwords, but if Saint and Carly O were there we could all sit around and pic your brain and drive you nuts. I think you would love that Lee, and I would for sure! Hope all is good your way.

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Unread 03-20-2014, 12:26 PM   #506
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I miss Carly and think of her often. Hoping all is well in her corner of the world.
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Unread 03-22-2014, 06:51 PM   #507
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Hello Frankie. Bright blessings to you.

How i could have a dialogue around this topic, however, i got to say.

When i poured myself through your door, Carly, (et al) kept me alive. I owe her my life. I have never forgotten her. I do hope to hear soon.

AA never did anything for you Frankie?, 12 step recovery......never recovered?

WWWWWWWeeeeeeeellllllllll.............

"come to Trynsss recovery car wash.....oh yes, get a complete recovery, complete forgiveness and a "shine' for half price if you sucumb to being a complete nincanpoop???....oh, oh, oh, no darling....do not stop there you soap needing recoverer.....where are yuoooo goooing?.......there is a shift shaffity shine to come my friend"......

And so recovery is found.

12 step, perfect......i find step 9 good for my back.

Loveness Frankie
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Unread 07-23-2014, 08:10 PM   #508
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Frankie, I saw on someone elses post that you went back out after being sober just under 2 years.

You can start over. We will understand. You are a alcoholic & that is what we do if we are not putting our sobriety 1st.

Give yourself a break & start over. You have meant so much to us here. Do not do it for me or others do it for yourself.
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Unread 07-24-2014, 01:23 AM   #509
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Frank,
I saw that post Lee mentioned and hoped it is from long ago. If you have been off the Wagon well you know what to do right? Keep coming back and posting. Let us know what's been going on with YOU. We miss you, care for you but as Lee mentioned you need to do this for yourself. You got this buddy.

Thinking of you,
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Unread 07-24-2014, 01:37 AM   #510
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Frankie. Coming back and talking about it after you drink, especially after a longer period of sobriety, can feel so embarrassing. Trust me, I understand, I have done it about 6 or 7 times over the past 3 years. There is no judgment, no condemnation, just care and concern. We love you here, and I would be devastated if you just gave up. I am starting over again, around a week sober here. It would be an honor to fight this addiction alongside you. Whadya say? Give it another shot? Blessings!


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Unread 07-24-2014, 02:31 PM   #511
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Hi Guys and thanks for posting,

This little problem that I endured lasted a year and I just snapped and simply didn't care at all. I know that you 'just don't drink no matter what' but I can't see anyone who went through this who wouldn't have done the same.

I didn't and still don't feel guilty or ashamed in the slightest for going back, but it's very hard for me to get back into the mindset that it takes to get back on the bicycle and ride again.

Lee and Saint; do you ever have thoughts like 'maybe I could just stop at a pub and have a beer or two like Cheers?' Of course you do if your blood is red, but you really can't! Even after a 2 year lay off, right out of the shoot I was drinking more than before. First day!

This problem is much better now although it's ongoing for now, I still drink once per week or two, but the drinking interferes with working out and lifestyle etc. not to mention my health. Thanks for listening to my bitching, and I hope all are doing well. I miss talking to you.

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Unread 07-24-2014, 03:41 PM   #512
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Frankie, No I do not have thoughts of stopping at a pub & having a beer or two. I do have thoughts of stopping by a pub & drinking 10 -15 beers. One or two beers just does not appeal to me.

I believe you when you say right out of the shoot I was drinking more than before. First day.

Come back & talk to us. We do not judge. Never stop trying to stop again. Just try it one day at a time.

Thank for stopping by & letting us know that if we pick up we are going to go back drinking more than we did before. This simple message tell me to think through that 1st drink.

I love Frankie. We go back a long ways & I remeber how you strugled. I hope the best for you.
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Unread 07-24-2014, 06:12 PM   #513
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Frank, what helps me to get back up and try again is focusing on the negative effects alcohol has on me. Mood swings, intense anger, and hangovers just to name a few. Somebody in this forum once talked about how easy it is for us to forget the horrible things alcohol does to us. Our mind and body crave alcohol and will trick us into thinking everything will be just fine.
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Unread 07-24-2014, 07:15 PM   #514
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Frankie,
Michael is right on target. Our addictive thinking tells us it's ok to pickup despite the negative consequences. Frank yeah I think about having a beer but I see through it. I think through it. I never want to go back to the way I was before. I can still today taste the alcohol on my breath from the previous night
I can honestly say there is nothing that would make me drink but that doesn't mean I wouldn't. Today I am sober and I love it. We need to learn to live through the bulls hit life throws at us sober. Yeah I know, easier said than done. Not preaching just my perspective.
Keep coming here Frank. Think sobriety. We move towards and become that which we think about.
I wish you well Frank!!!!

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Unread 07-31-2014, 07:42 PM   #515
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Frank, How are you doing
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Unread 07-31-2014, 09:48 PM   #516
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Thanks for checking Lee. Still trying to get ready to get ready again. Btw, I had no misconceptions about the negative consequences that drinking again would bring, I just didn't care what would happen to me at all, period.

The thing that really threw me was I was drinking more than before the very first day after an almost 2 year lay off. I had heard that would happen in meetings many times, but never really bought into it, but it really is true. Hope things are going well for all. Take care you guys,

Frank
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Unread 08-01-2014, 09:36 AM   #517
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Frank, When you are ready to make sobriety your number one objective you will start to care about yourself.

You know it can be done. Do not wait to long.
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Unread 08-01-2014, 03:12 PM   #518
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Lee, I didn't make myself clear. I do care about myself now, but at the time I started back drinking (the very day) I couldn't have cared less. I just wanted out. Things are much better now although not perfect, I never want to go through that again.

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Unread 08-01-2014, 05:52 PM   #519
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Frank, Good news. Keep it simple & you can do it. We have to think through that 1st urge.
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Unread 08-01-2014, 08:09 PM   #520
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You're always there when I need to hear the right words at the right time Lee. I might just climb back up and give it another go. Thanks buddy.

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Unread 08-01-2014, 09:02 PM   #521
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Think sobriety Frank. You've done it before and can do it again. Learn from the past and move forward.

Sobriety is always a choice.

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Unread 08-01-2014, 10:30 PM   #522
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Go for it Frank!! You want it you can do it.!!
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Unread 08-06-2014, 01:21 PM   #523
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Frank,

It is nice to see you back here posting. I am glad you are in a better place today than in the past. Alcohol is always waiting for us, waiting for an opportunity to re-enter our lives. We've all lived it and lived through it (fortunately) as you have.

Thinking of you,
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Unread 09-10-2014, 05:38 PM   #524
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Frankie,

It's been six months since I have updated you all. Reading almost every day has kept my eye on the prize. I first went to 2 doctors: my cardiologist and my primary care. Those were both not helpful, but primary care sent me for therapy, and I did an intake interview and a therapy session. Also, not helpful. He told me their groups were educational, and I KNEW too much

I went to two AA meetings last week, got a Big Book, read it over the weekend, went back today, and God willing, just for today, I am not going to drink.

Some very nice women gave me telephone numbers, but the two that I could remember meeting, did not answer the phone, so here I am. If I get a later urge, I will call another one. For now, you guys are it.


Frankie, One guy said, "I didn't mind giving myself over to the power of alcohol and drugs, so why should I have such a hard time giving myself over a higher power?

Since I was a college student, I have considered myself an agnostic. After reading the chapter for Agnostics, I tried to figure out how I can resolve this. My husband says he communes with God in the mountains. I don't spend as much time there, so I thought about any spiritual feelings I've had as an adult.

One of my best friends since grad school is the crisis intervention counselor at the school on the Jicarilla Apache Reservation in Dulce, NM. I absolutely respect her religion, have practiced a little of what I've learned from her, and felt true reverence, if not a religious experience when I was made an honorary member of their tribe after doing some training and volunteer work with them.

Then, from 2000 to 2004, I was the counselor at the high school in Jemez Valley, NM at the Jemez Pueblo. Again, I felt reverence and peace when attending their dances and ceremonies. Mother Earth and Father Sky, from which all of us spring. I can start there.

Also, in thinking carefully about religion this weekend, I also realized that I don't believe exclusively in any one religion, but I do somewhat believe in all religions.

Finally, in college, I read the TAO OF PHYSICS that talks about quantum physics and the exchange of sub atomic particles between us and every thing we touch. I realized I'm also a pantheist: I believe that God is everywhere, in everything and in each one of us. Synergy and synchronicity. That's why support groups and rain dances and cleansing ceremonies work. That's how God is in that AA meeting. He speaks through those who have gone before, if we will just listen.

I still take a lot of it with a grain of salt. That is our right.

I am worried that something happened in your life that drove you back to what I call the black hole. I hope you get help dealing with it, if not here then somewhere. You were always so willing to be supportive to all of us.

Much love, Susie
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Unread 09-13-2014, 05:42 PM   #525
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Good evening Frankie. Bright blessings to you.

How goes it? Long time since i have had the support and wisdom of your thoughts and words.

I would like to give back to you what you have given me and sooo many others.

Bloody alcohol......has a way of getting "in da way!!!"

Revisit what it is all about Frank. You know it makes sense.

You know those swiss horns that you blow? they are enormous? They used to blow them on the top of Swiss mountains, their sound travelled 8 km. It had a message of course.

You might not know that the wood that makes those huge horns, (and a quite beautiful instrument) the wood that makes them needs to be dried out for 9 years before the process can begin.

That in itself is mind blowing. If i was to tell you that the creaters of these magnificent things actually calobrate the phases of the moon so they know when the wood is most flexible to harvest, and THEN it takes 9 years before they can begin work.

Things that mean the most, things that are the most valuable in our lives take so much time, thought, love and a peacefulness that can only be found in a persons soul.

Be gentle, be kind to yourself as you have always been to me. Before long, with patience and perseverance, you will be at the top of your mountain, playing the tune you have always wanted to play, with an instrument called YOU, that you made.

Loveness Frankie.
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Unread 11-07-2014, 08:02 PM   #526
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Hi gma, try, and all,

Gma, when I used to go to meetings the higher power thing threw me also, but I learned (I wouldn't recommend to anyone learning the way I did) that there really is an after life and help is there if you utilize it. My problem is that I don't use it nearly enough. Past loved ones are with you weather you know it or not, and the higher power thing is real, what ever that is.

Thanks for all the kind words guys and I will come back to the forum when I'm ready to get serious and go to work. I really hope all here stay sober and experience real happiness. Take care,

Frank
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Unread 11-07-2014, 08:13 PM   #527
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Thanks for stopping by Frank. It's been too long and you've been missed. Take care and think through that next drink.

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Unread 11-07-2014, 08:19 PM   #528
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Thanks for stopping by Frank. It's been too long and you've been missed. Take care and think through that next drink.

Saint
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Unread 11-07-2014, 09:12 PM   #529
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Take care Frank.

You have helped and supported many of us here. We would like to return the favor.

Keep writing!

Love, Gma Susie
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Unread 11-23-2014, 12:09 AM   #530
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I never found myself an AA guy myself. Something I just couldnt get into. I did find help and used a holistic approach. Adventure therapy helped me replace my need to drink with the need for adrenaline lol. I've found life to be a lot more fun sober. Especially that I can remember what happened the night before.
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Unread 11-23-2014, 10:44 AM   #531
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RichNL, Welcome to the site. I'm glad that you sober & happy the way you did it.
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Unread 11-23-2014, 04:35 PM   #532
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Hi RichNL and welcome,Could you expand on the adventure therapy and holistic approach and was this on line? Glad to see you here and staying sober.Frank
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Unread 11-24-2014, 10:03 AM   #533
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Good to hear from you Frank!!
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Unread 11-24-2014, 03:23 PM   #534
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Good to hear from you too Lee and have a great Thanksgiving! That goes to all.
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Unread 11-24-2014, 03:45 PM   #535
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Thanks Frank. Enjoy the holidays. Good to "see" you.
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Unread 11-24-2014, 07:13 PM   #536
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Frank, Have a great Thanksgiving. Please stay in touch.
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