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Unread 12-09-2009, 02:42 PM   #1
ADMIN
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Default Step 9

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do
so would injure them or others.
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Unread 03-01-2010, 04:05 PM   #2
theswan
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This is important do not try to avoid this step but do it in order. I can offer online help as i've taken many through this step.

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Unread 03-15-2010, 10:29 AM   #3
OhioMike
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Tonight Step Chat will cover:

Step 9.....

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

This is always a big one for us, as it is something we are faced with emotionally nearly from day one of recovery! However, notice it is Step 9! There is a reason for this, as we need to learn and grow in recovery before we can honestly be ready to tend to this very emotional task.

So if this is something you have been having problems with, please stop by and share and maybe between all of us tossing in our thoughts and experiences we can help make this easier on one and other!

Remember, this is Addiction Survivors Step Chat, so bias and stigma surrounding the use of a medical aid in recovery and personal faith preferences will not hinder you in anyway!
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Unread 03-16-2010, 11:58 AM   #4
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What a great chat last night! Thanks everyone for being there and sharing your experiences! I'm looking forward to next week!
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Unread 03-17-2010, 10:36 AM   #5
toms
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I recall being told that one important amends that is often overlooked is to: ourselves. This particular amends *can* be done out of order. I think it has a lot to do with coming to terms with guilt and (especially) shame. That, for me, is a bogeyman that can rear its head any time. Another toughie is making amends to those who have passed away. My dad passed in '96 and I am SO glad that we were at peace with each other. Remembering that makes me think of the importance of getting through this step (to the best of our abilities). Its true that the steps must be done in order, but for folks like myself who tend towards procrastination, fiddling around can have major consequences. You just never know.
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Unread 03-18-2010, 11:11 AM   #6
OhioMike
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Good point and well said Toms.

This past Monday when we covered this in chat we spoke about this. I recall my first time at this and my sponsor had me make amends to myself before we went any further. At first I think I gave him a dumb blank stare, then it took me a good couple of months to really work through that, as he kept rejecting many of my early attempts. He would smile and say wonderful, good, now dig deeper, go broader! lol

I chuckle now at his way of handling me, but, I really struggled with it and getting to where he wanted me to go with it. Your spot on, it was about guilt, shame and learning to really, truly forgiving myself first. Passing through that with him was a very freeing experience and I think set my emotional pace to move forward in a way I would not have been able to.

Mike
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