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Unread 03-22-2010, 12:57 PM   #1
jerryg
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Default Asking for help...

Asking for help

We all hear this expressed as the first step in dealing with alcoholic behavior. Reaching out, getting 'humble'. Reconnecting with a community. A powerful symptom of alcoholic behavior is isolation. This is where the addiction becomes a secret to be protected. In spite of its failed promise of 'relief'. Protecting this secret becomes more important than any other relationship.

Asking for help is humbling. It is a way of shedding light and relieving the burden of the 'secret'. This is where a person learns about themselves and their resilience and their resilience of one's relationships.

But keep in mind that asking for help also means one has to heed that help. Are we receptive? Often we may not like the advice or help we get. We may be angered by the help offered. And one knows that they will not like the responses as they already have a awareness of the problem.
Posting here is a way of asking for help, and that is good. One can also vent about how difficult it is to accept the responses. That is encouraged.

To all of you posting here asking for help, welcome back to the healing aspects of community. Don't give up, don't lose hope and know that you can approach recovery with humility and dignity!

All the best,
Jerry
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Unread 03-22-2010, 01:57 PM   #2
Saint
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Jerry,

Hello - Yes I can certainly identify myself in all of those behaviors you describe!

I still struggle with asking for help with anything. I've always been one to go it alone and find my own way through my struggles. It can be difficult to change ones behavior(s) even when you can see the behaviors for what they are. It means moving out of ones comfort zone and taking the risk or perhaps fear of seeing ones self fail. Too see that one did not fail but instead learn from the experience, and move on.

It has been said that successful people, and by successful I don't necessarily mean wealthy in material goods, learn from their 'experiences', learned what worked, what needs work, and move on. I believe that to be true. And also find it is something I need to work on!!!

Regards
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Unread 03-22-2010, 04:05 PM   #3
jerryg
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Saint,
Thanks for the response. I hear you. I agree.
I've heard some put it as, "Not failure, just lesser levels of success."
Thanks,
Jerry
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Unread 03-22-2010, 04:58 PM   #4
R. Lee
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Jerry, Thanks for the insight. I wanted to quit drinking long before I did but I did not have the courage to reach out for help. I wanted to do it on my own terms & I always failed.
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Unread 03-22-2010, 11:05 PM   #5
hairgirl
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Nice post.
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Unread 03-22-2010, 11:07 PM   #6
Magda
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Isolation plays tricks on the mind, and the longer we live in our isolation- the more difficult it becomes to break down the walls we built around us. Asking for help is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves in recovery. Those of us who have experienced this are able to tell others how powerful it is to begin healing.
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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Unread 03-25-2010, 04:33 PM   #7
CarlyO
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Thank you Jerry,

Ditto on all of the feedback, the loneliness and isolation was the worst part for me.

It was difficult for me to accept the help, I pushed it away, I refused it over and over. I am just grateful I survived long enough to have the opportunity to get help and to be able to continue working on myself. : )
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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