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Unread 06-25-2008, 03:35 PM   #1
MReeves
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Default How do you handle it?

I made a post in the off-topic secton earlier today. It gives a little detail of my problem. I was directed to this forum, for possibly more advice and suggestions.
Glennda you gave me good advice and inspiration this can work. The doctor I saw is not my primiry doctor. I dont have one. The work I do I travel all around the US.Sometimes I may be in one place a week sometimes months. For this reason AA or a perticular doctor or therpest is hard to work through.
Being out on the road all the time it is very easy to stop in and pick up a bottle. I have high blood pressure and drinking cant be helping that.
It is effecting my health, and has caused me to lose my family (wife and son). I dont drink on the job but the effects of the night before are evident. Knowing all this i still feel like I need to drink.
I have to figure out how to make myself STOP.

Any advice will be appreciated!!!
Thanks for listing
Mike
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Unread 06-25-2008, 07:52 PM   #2
CASEY
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Mreeves,
Hi and Welcome to this Great site . We give you our opinion and you do with it what you want.
You say you Travel alot, I have to tell you there are so many AA meeting's going on everywhere.
I was in the Carribean and was shocked to read how many they have.
What is good for you about this, is that you don't know anyone and you can listen and mayber hear your own story or maybe you could get a sponsor who is willing to work with you over the phone.
Sometime's just talking to someone before you take that drink will stop you.
Health Problem's are a very serious thing to consider, the drinking does more damage than you will ever know, not just outside yourself like with your Family but inside your body is probally really hurting.
Is there anyway you could take a few week's ( I know easier said than done!) and admit yourselft to De-tox, because first you have to get the alcohol out of you and then the really hard part start's, you have to admit and discover "WHY"
you are drinking so much and let yourself lose so much.
As a Business Owner and someone who has friend's in your situation, I can tell you that even though you say you are not drinking at work, it does show. It will show in your performance and alot of time your attitude. Because one thing I have learned is that and addict is thinking about it all day and cannot wait for the moment they can go get what they believe they need.
You have a long and hard road ahead of you, but BELIEVE ME , You can DO IT!!
And sometime's just coming here to VENT and read other people's situation's can be a real eye-opener. No one hear Judge's you, we are all stranger's who in some way alcohol or any drug has affected our life's.
I Wish You Luck,
Casey
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Unread 06-25-2008, 08:27 PM   #3
MReeves
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Thanks Casey, Just from the few replies I have recieved, I feel better, and feel like this is a more doable thing. Its helped me get through my fourth day sober. One day at a time. With friendly support and it not being a issue usually fueled with anger, I feel I can really talk about it. Without having to become defencive, or like Im being backed into a corner. I guess it takes some of the pride thing out of it. And makes you so you can focus on the problem at hand.
I've got to set my direction and not veer to accomplish my goal. TO BE A SOBER MAN.
Thanks again,
and I am very willing to here anyone elses suggestions or opinions.

Thanks,
Mike
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Unread 06-26-2008, 02:19 PM   #4
JaneDoe
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Mike, I haven't been around in a while. Here's my story.
http://www.alcoholanswers.org/forum/...PIC_ID=17#1496

I did 6 months of vivitrol shots. They last one month. I got intense counseling.
I haven't had a drink in 9 months.

I'm telling you, it worked. When I first got the shot, I did drink. But after 3, I was like, who cares. I don't want any more.
Maybe it would work for you. The thing about the pill is that you don't have to take it if you do not want. The shot you have no choice. You cant take it back. LOL

AA has meetings everywhere. You shoud be able to find one in any place you go. Is there any place that you go back to all the time? Maybe find a therapist in that spot and arrange for appontments when you're in that town.

Mike, about your health. Click on that blue body at the bottom of the page. All those things that are caused by booze might be an added incentive to stay stopped.

I want to give a special thanks to StaceyR. She's my angel. I would not be here 9 months later without her.
Hugs and kisses to StaceyR

Mike, you can do this. I did it. You can. I'll check in on you. One day at a time.

JaneDoe
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Unread 06-27-2008, 11:37 PM   #5
CASEY
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Mreeves,
You wrote how it is one day at a time and it is, but it can also be one minute or one second at a time. It is a hard road , but once you get there believe me you will be so much happier.
Just think you will remember everything you said the night before and if you called anyone , you will remember.
Just please alway's keep in mind, that coming here is a HUGE SIGN OF STRENGTH, NOT WEAKNESS. People confuse that, it take's alot more courage to battle this horrible disease , then to just give in.
I wish you Luck, and remember Someone is alway's here; Like they say on the CSI Miami show; ' WE NEVER CLOSE'!!! A statement that could not be more true.
Not only remembering thing's that will be awesome , but your health will amaze you, you will be amazed at how different your body feel's.
One thing that can work for you ; is KEEP BUSY!!! Even if you are just reading a book, taking a walk or sometime's just take a drive, tough here in the East with the Gas price's so unbelieveable!!
Again I wish you the Best, and keep coming here and letting us know your progress!!
We do Care! And it is nice because we don't know each other, so there is no JUDGING!! JUST LISTENING AND OFFERING WHAT WE CAN!!
Casey
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Unread 06-28-2008, 07:13 AM   #6
Glennda
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Hi MReeves,

I'm glad to see you found your way over to the alcohol dependent forum. I hope you plan to stick around and let us help you through this process.

I love what Jane Doe posted to you. That was just the kind of real-life experience I was hoping you'd hear to give you an idea of what the medication-assisted treatments are like. There are many more options now than just a decade ago and whatever can help you get through the rough stuff is something you might want to look into. But also be mindful of what Jerry mentioned. I don't know how much you drink but detox from alcohol CAN be fatal. So please be careful and stay in touch with your doctor so he knows what you're doing and where you're at in the process.

A common phrase in AA meetings is the "quitting is the easy part. Staying stopped is the hard part." That's why some of these medications can be so valuable. They give you a cushion during those early months when sobriety can be so tortuous. A medication that can help you with cravings and diminish those desires will help you stay better focused on your goal. It's so hard to stay sober when all you can think about is that next drink. If that's what's keeping you from staying stopped, I'd definitely research some of these medications designed to eliminate those cravings.

I understand that your job keeps you traveling and it's hard to plan ahead for a doctor's appointment...but it's not impossible. It'll be a little tougher for you but not impossible. You can do a lot of the prep work over the phone and I imagine you have some idea of what your schedule will be in the future. So try not to use that as an excuse NOT to get help. This is doable and you WILL do it if you want to get and stay sober.

So please stick around and give us updates. I would love for you to be our next "Jane Doe"!

Take care,
Glennda
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Unread 06-28-2008, 03:37 PM   #7
CASEY
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Hi, Mreeves,

Just remember every good thing start's with the First Step. They are usually not easy step's - but once you start they can become second nature to you.
I wish you the best!
Casey
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Unread 06-28-2008, 11:31 PM   #8
MReeves
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There are definatly times that are harder than others. Its seems there is no hope for my marriage. We've been tring to work it out, but it looks hopeless now. I can blame no one but myself, and drinking has been the biggest part of it.
Going through what I am about too go through is going to make things even harder. I must stay focused and directed to my goal.
By the way, still on the wagon! Although I know the choice is ultamatly mine, reading all the replies gives me that much more encouragement. Being able to talk to people and listen to people who have been there and only want to share their experences and what they have learned overcomming this addiction.
I will keep you posted.
Thanks to all of you!!!
Mike
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Unread 06-28-2008, 11:50 PM   #9
CASEY
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MReeves,
One thing I don't know if anyone has told you yet is that , you have to get as selfish in the recovery as you were in the drinking.
Maybe , Maybe not will your marriage last. Your spouse need's to get help also,
to deal with the new you.
CONGRADULATION'S ON STILL BEING ON THE WAGON!!!
CELEBRATE EVERTIME THAT YOU DON'T TAKE THAT DRINK, IT IS HUGE!!
Take Care, I know a hard Holiday is coming up for everyone, July 4th., So remember someone will be here , if all you need to do is vent and talk it out.
Spouse's don't realize sometime's there is just stuff we don't feel comfortable
telling them, it is not keeping secret's it is our device to help us.
Keep Up the Great Work,
Casey
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Unread 06-29-2008, 01:41 PM   #10
JaneDoe
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Mike, There are definitely some times that are harder than others. What I did was ask myself what would happen if I drank then answere honestly. Get drunk, waste money, risk DUI, piss off people, wake up with a hangover and feeling horrible. Work on yourself right now. Casey was right that you have to be selfish now. You might find that when you're back to who you were, your marriage might go back to what it was.

Congrats for staying on that wagon.
JaneDoe
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Unread 06-29-2008, 03:09 PM   #11
MReeves
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Thanks Janedoe, You know that is one thing that has also helped, Those all day hangovers, no money, and really, wondering what happened the night before. Not knowing too who or what I said, and finding out I did piss someone off and not knowing why or how. Since I havent been drinking, WOW every morning I havent had too deal with that.
Dont get me wrong its still hard as he!!. Stay focused!! it would be very easy to fall off. Just one day at a time is an accomplishment for me (I surprise myself I done it this long, espically concidering what Im going through). So keep the encouragement coming! I need all I can get.
These replies do help keep me motavited. I cant thank you all enough!
Mike
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Unread 06-30-2008, 01:38 PM   #12
Glennda
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Hi Mike,

Congratulations...how long now without a drink? Is it more than a week now? Good for you, keep it up. You can do this!

What are you doing to stay focused? You might want to start getting that support network in place so you have a bit of a safety net when those urges start. Think about it, kay?

Good luck.

Take care,
Glennda
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Unread 06-30-2008, 05:36 PM   #13
SLynn
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Hello Mike

Just letting you know that I'm following your story. I hope this day finds you well and focused. As you know, some days are easier than others and take it a minute at a time when you are feeling overwhelmed or weak.

I hope you use this site for support as well as some face to face interaction. It's an important part of the process.

You are doing great!

JaneDoe, nice to see your update!!!

Stacey
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Unread 07-01-2008, 01:27 AM   #14
MReeves
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8 days and still sober. It really nice to be able to face family and friends and not worry if they smell alcohol on me. It was no seceret, they all knew I drank, but I would still try to hide it or avoid them all together.
I acctually went and watched my nephew play baseball today and could be myself. Im beginning to feel my will power much stronger. I realize all it takes is one slip. But Im seeing the other side of life I havent seen in a long time. Thats even more motivation and it feels good.

One day at a time!
Mike
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Unread 07-01-2008, 01:50 AM   #15
CASEY
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MReeves,
Good for you 8-day's!!
Isn't it nice to start to see thing's so differently. The sky is prettier, the flower's look beautiful.
It is amazing how you feel once you are out of the FOG of Alcohol.

Keep up the Good Work, and keep us posted!
Congradulation's!
Casey
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Unread 07-01-2008, 02:38 PM   #16
JaneDoe
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Mike, Congratulations on 8 days. Isn't it amazing how much better everything is when we don't drink? I no longer avoid anyone for fear of the alcohol reeking. I can go out socially and NOT have to drink.

I do have to give the vivitrol a lot of credit. Look into it and see if your inusrance covers it. For me it was worth having that safety net under me. The one or two times I did fall off and drink at the beginning, I didn't want any more after 2 or 3. To me that was amazing. Now I want 0.

It gets easier as time goes on. Make sure you recognize what triggered you to drink in the past and be ready to face it head on if it happens.

One day at a time!
JaneDoe
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Unread 07-03-2008, 12:45 PM   #17
JaneDoe
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Mike, I came to check in on you.

How are you? Is it day 11?

JaneDoe
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Unread 07-04-2008, 01:58 PM   #18
MReeves
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Doing good!! Have a reserved 4th planned. My wife and I are even working things out! I think she saw a big change in me.

Everyone have a safe and Happy 4th!!

Mike
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Unread 07-04-2008, 07:39 PM   #19
CASEY
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MReeves,
Glad to hear you are doing well, keep up the good work and please keep up posted.
Happy 4th of July to you too!!
Casey
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Unread 07-06-2008, 03:41 PM   #20
Glennda
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MReeves,

Yay for you...still going strong! Did you make it through the 4th of July weekend still on the wagon? That is HUGE! For drunks like us, getting through a day like that is a big milestone.

Keep it up...we're all rooting for you!

Take care,
Glennda
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Unread 07-06-2008, 03:43 PM   #21
MReeves
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Thought I would let you all know I'm going out of town tomorrow to work. I'll be gone about a month. If I get to stay in a hotel with internet I will keep in touch, outherwise I'll update you all when I get back.
Thanks soo much for all your encouragement and support!
This is going to be a real test, concidering the people I work with. Some of them really like to party. But my will to succeed just gets stronger everyday I dont have a drink.

Thanks again,
Mike
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Unread 07-06-2008, 08:01 PM   #22
CarlyO
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Hi Mike, I have been following your progress, congrats to you and glad to hear that you and wife are working things out!

Will this be your first trip since stopping alcohol? I know you mentioned being on the road is a tough time, but like Casey says - if you get squirrley, you can find a meeting just about anywhere. And come here and post, to keep your mind occupied.

I hope it all goes well, please let us know how you are doing ! Take care, Carly
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Unread 07-08-2008, 06:33 PM   #23
JaneDoe
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Mike, Sending good vibes your way that being out of town isn't rough on you.

Remember you can find a meeting anywhere. Or come here if you find yourself in tenuous situation.

You can do this, you're doing great!

JaneDoe
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Unread 07-17-2008, 12:55 PM   #24
CASEY
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MReeves,
I Mike , just wanted to say Hi! and hope you are doing well! You are in my thoughts', so let us know how you are doing either when you get back or if you have your Computer with you.
Best of Luck!
If you need us , we are here. Like the CSI Miami show (i love) " WE NEVER CLOSE"
Time of day or night does not matter some of us are up and willing to chat!
Casey
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Unread 07-25-2008, 09:02 PM   #25
SLynn
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Hi Mike

I was thinking of you and look forward to an update when you are able.

StaceyR
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Unread 07-31-2008, 12:08 AM   #26
Glennda
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Hey Mike,

It's been awhile. I'm hoping you're still holding steady and enjoying life sober. Check in when you can...we'd love an update.

Take care,
Glennda
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Unread 08-07-2008, 11:40 AM   #27
MReeves
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Still hanging in there. Ive had a few hard times to get through but I will make it. Fixing to leave town again for five weeks. Different part of the country this time and a different crew I am working with. This is a HARD thing to beat. Ill admit I have slipped once. But after doing so good for so long it was alot easier to get back on the wagon.
I think they call it on the wagon because it is such a rough ride!!! But it beats walking!

Thanks for all your support! Take it one day at a time!

Mike
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Unread 08-07-2008, 05:45 PM   #28
CarlyO
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Hi Mike,
Thanks for checking in. The important thing is that you picked yourself up and got right back on the "wagon" - rough road indeed at times ! I hope this trip goes well for you, hang in there- Carly
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Unread 08-10-2008, 11:25 PM   #29
Glennda
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Hi Mike,

I'm glad to see you're still hanging in there. Do you find it harder or easier to stay sober when you're on the road? Just curious...

Are you doing anything for support? Meetings, counseling, therapy, etc.? Have you thought about it? Again, just curious...

Don't dwell on the set-backs. Learn from them and keep moving forward. And it does get easier the longer you do it.

Keep checking in when you can.

Take care,
Glennda
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Unread 08-12-2008, 02:49 PM   #30
JaneDoe
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Mike, It is a hard thing to beat but your are doing great. Big that you slipped, recognized it and did something about it right away.

Good luck on your next trip.

JaneDoe
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Unread 08-19-2008, 11:06 AM   #31
CASEY
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MReeves,
Everyone can have a slip, the fact that you recogonized it and did something is huge.
Just remember you can not cure this overnight, it did not start overnight. It took time to get were you are, and it will take time for you to fix it. Sometime's people want an easy fix and it just does not exist.
Just try to keep in mind how you feel when you don't drink! and compare it to how you use to feel when you do , you will notice a "HUGE" difference.

As Alway's I Wish You the Best,
Keep up the GOOD WORK!!! You are in my thought's !!
Casey
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Unread 09-14-2008, 08:15 PM   #32
JaneDoe
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Mike, It's been a long time, are you still working it?

JaneDoe
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Unread 09-21-2008, 02:21 PM   #33
brenda7777
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Hi, i just signed up today and am learning to work the system- it is my first day on no booze after 7 years of continual drinking, i have had it and want to stop. Communication is the key but i dont know how to do a thread- could someone show me how so i can talk to people about it, thanks - Brenda
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Unread 09-21-2008, 03:58 PM   #34
SLynn
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HI Brenda and Welcome!

You can start your own thread at the top of the page....it's a black box that says "new thread".

Looking forward to hearing your story. Please read the educational links on the site regarding alcohol withdrawal.

http://www.alcoholanswers.org/alcoho...withdrawal.cfm

Withdrawing from alcohol can be dangerous and should not be done without medical supervision. I urge you to consult a physician. You're making an important step and hope you do it the right/safe way.

Slynn
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Unread 09-21-2008, 04:50 PM   #35
CarlyO
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HI Brenda,

Welcome to the forum, I hope you are doing allright? Congrats on your decision to stop drinking ! Please post when you can and let us know how you are doing. Take care, Carly
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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Unread 10-14-2008, 01:43 PM   #36
JaneDoe
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Mike, haven't seen you in a long time. You still around?

JaneDoe
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