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Unread 05-13-2008, 05:45 AM   #1
LoricoutureNYC
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Default 29,pregnant, and dependant

I am 23 weeks pregnant, have three kids, was engaged with my new babys father, now single and drinking heavily. It has been a rough pregnancy for me,i quitdrinking for about 2 weeks strait, but onlyt because of morning sickness. I cant seem to worry about this baby like i did with the last three. its not fair and now i cant get the abortion i want to save this baby from bad health because i am too far along...what do i do...im scared...drinking just seems so much more important right now. I dont love his daddy anymore. I never wanted another baby till i was marrried, but got talked into it, and this was the exact reason why....nowno one in my family will support me, all the want to do is take the baby from me...I don't feel that is resposible of me to bring my little boy into this world
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Unread 05-14-2008, 01:56 PM   #2
Nadia
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LoricoutureNYC, please talk with your OB and/or regular doctor about ways to stop drinking ASAP.
Besides the harm you are doing to your unborn child, you are doing much harm to yourself and your other children.
http://www.alcoholanswers.org/alcoho...our-health.cfm
http://www.alcoholanswers.org/alcohol%2Deducation/health%2Dtopics/women%2Dspecific%2Dissues/pregnancy-issues.cfm

Get a good healthcare team working with you. Think about seeing a therapist, you have so much going on right now.

You need to take care of yourself and your children. Get help right away.
Prayers.
Nadia
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Unread 05-14-2008, 10:52 PM   #3
Glennda
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Yes Lori,

Please consider Nadia's advice. It is critical that you take some action immediately! Every day that you continue to drink while pregnant you're raising the risk that your baby could suffer long-term serious health effects. But you know that, right? Please don't go another day without trying your hardest to find the help that you need. You'll never forgive yourself if this baby is born damaged, knowing that you're drinking caused it.

You CAN stop drinking. I know you want to. So do the next right thing and find that help that I know is out there for you. Do it for yourself. Do it for your 3 children. And especially do it for your unborn baby.

Good luck and let us know what happens.

Take care,
Glennda
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Unread 05-18-2008, 05:03 PM   #4
LoricoutureNYC
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Well, i wanted to sy thanks for the advice. I have met with a psychologist who referred me to a treatment group. I did learn alot from talking with him. It certainly helps to get advice from someone who is NOT your family for a change. I have not had a drink in a week now, it feels good knowing i can do it. Hopefully I can make it the next 16 weeks
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Unread 05-18-2008, 05:58 PM   #5
Glennda
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Great news Lori!

That's huge...not drinking for a week is a great first step and I know you can go the next 16 weeks. Let us know if there's anything we can do to help you along. We're all rooting for you and hoping that you're successful.

Will you be attending this treatment group indefinitely? It sounds like something you need right now and possibly into the future. I hope you can continue because it will still be a challenge even after you've had the baby and are trying to stay sober. Just stay focused on your health and the health of your baby and you'll do fine, right?

Keep us posted on your progress...good luck!

Take care,
Glennda
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Unread 05-21-2008, 11:55 PM   #6
LoricoutureNYC
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Yes, i'm sure i will be around fora bit. Its hard doing this all alone! So what am I supposed to do when i'm really craving a drink? Like now! I was lucky all week, i had no money to buy beer with. It's super hard not being with my fiancee now and a baby on the way. It makes me want to drink when he calls or texts me with his put downs.
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Unread 05-22-2008, 05:04 PM   #7
CASEY
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Hi, LoricautureNYC,

When the urge to drink get's to be too much, try to keep yourself busy so you don't have a chance to think about it. It will comsume you. That sound's easy and I know it is not! Have you ever thought of seeing someone, one on one. I prefer that because I am a very private person from a very small town.
You need someone who will give you and objective opinion.
The danger's are so great if you keep drinking during your pregnancy! Your unborn child did not ask to be born. If your feeling's are so difficult for this child, have you ever thought of adoption, but please stop drinking not only for this pregnacy but for your health also, and most importantly for the children you have right now!! Seeing you drinking and having a problem with it, is changing who they will become in the future.
If there is no one to talk to , I agree with the advice above , you need to see a Dr., and as soon as possible!
The fact that you say your boyfriend as putting you down is a huge sign for you , to let you know that he is being " Verbally Abusive " , which can lead to physical contact, they are usually related! You really need to take care of yourself and find out why you are on such a destructive path.
I wish you luck!
Casey
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Unread 06-11-2008, 03:32 PM   #8
Glennda
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Hi Lori,

How are you holding up? Still hanging in there?

How often does your treatment group meet? If you're finding that your cravings are coming on strong, can you call someone from your group to talk it out with? In early sobriety, cravings are normal and non-stop and we need ways to cope with them. Do you go to AA meetings? I know AA is not for everyone, but there are people in every meeting that are at the same stage as you are and it's helpful to make contact with them. Those that are the in the same place as you can be so supportive when you're all going through the same things at the same time. I used to spend hours AFTER the meetings with others like myself, sitting in coffee shops and talking, talking, talking. It saved me many times from stopping at the bar or the liquor store on my way home.

Then there's tools to deal with cravings that are layed out step-by-step in the SMART recovery plan. Google SMART recovery and you can read about the various different approaches to deal with cravings and triggers. I find, for myself, that I can take those things that work for me from different areas of recovery and fashion them to meet my OWN INDIVIDUAL recovery plan.

And finally, if you're still fighting every single day NOT to drink, there are medication-assisted options that just might work for you. Look here under "Treatment Options" and see if anything appeals to you. I don't know what the indications are if you're pregnant, but I would definitely discuss anything you find here with your doctor.

There are ways to make this struggle a little easier. Take advantage of them and never give up. You can do this.

Take care,
Glennda
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Unread 03-06-2009, 02:53 PM   #9
olivia
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Please answer my message. I am a single mother,doctor-on call at all hours, who screamed for help recently("Olivia" was my screen name... I lost touch). Things have changed some for me but not nearly enough. I have a 4 month old baby and the not drinking was HELL! I am still fighting this demon. I hate to admit that I did drink some while pregnant and even though all seems healthy and well so far, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop-effects of alcohol, leukemia, mental retardation etc.... I am going to AA, doing what comes naturally and reading/researching, choosing a sponsor and seeing a counselor weekly. It is HARD & FRUSTRATING! Your baby is going to be beautiful and healthy and you can do it. And you will be glad that you did. I still get up 4 times nightly to feed and change my baby-except now I dont have a drink when I do it. Please keep in touch. You are not alone and you are loved.
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