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Unread 07-21-2011, 06:51 PM   #1
bunz
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hi my name is bunz im 23 im am not currently a user i have been clean for 2 years of cocaine but i just wanted to see what others have been threw bc i been thinking of using again Thank God i have NOT!!!!! this website helped me out yesterday cuz i was so close to trying to find it then i read a few stories about others and that stopped me.... another reason why i am here is bc i started dating this guy who used to do heroin but has been clean for 2 yrs also he is on seboxin but ne who..... 2 weeks ago he was hi on angel dust which pissed me off!!!!! he says hes not going to do it ne more and i told him if he does im gonna leave him alone so well see how it goes.....but i like this site its very helpful <3
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Unread 07-22-2011, 12:27 PM   #2
bunz
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so last night he tells me that he did molly and that he just wants to tell me when he messes up bc he likes to hear that i dont like it and it keeps him from doing other worse things i think im juss gonna stop talking to him its only a matter of time till he goes back to the dope and i just cant do this i already had an ex that was on dope and crack and i just stopped smokkn weed cuz im tryna get my nursing career started but its like damn i like him hes so nice and cute does anyone have an opinion??? should i give him just one more chance????
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Unread 07-23-2011, 09:14 AM   #3
NancyB
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Hi bunz, welcome. Congratulations on two years free of cocaine and you recently stopping weed. Sorry to hear that your boyfriend keeps going back to using different drugs. Has he done anything else for the two year he's been a Suboxone patient? He needs to address the addiction - why he needs to use a substance despite negative consequences. Has he changed anything - people, places, things - to get away from it? Do you think he would join a support group or see a therapist to help him deal with cravings and triggers?

Bottom line is that you have to take care of you first. You can be there if and when he decides he wants help, but you come first. Do what you need to do to get your nursing career started. In my opinion, tell him you do not want to see him until he is serious about recovery. He's all nice and tells you when he's done one drug or another because so far there haven't been any consequences.

Stay firm. You take care of YOU first.

I hope that's helpful. Let us know how you're doing.

Nancy
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Unread 08-10-2011, 10:54 AM   #4
bunz
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I left him and juss got an apartment with a really good guy friend of mine I didnt need to put up with that! But this guy is also battling an addiction but he is trying and that's what counts I really care bout him and he's been clean for four years and his parents are very supportive of our move together still working on finding a nursing job too thankyou I've been going to church these past two weeks and I brought my new bf along with me last week it seems that god is speaking directly to me each time I go I'm gonna keep going
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Unread 08-11-2011, 08:26 AM   #5
NancyB
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Hi bunz, that's great news! I'm glad you took the steps are taking care of you! Congratulations on your friend's 4 years and it's encouraging that he continues to try and that you have the support of his parents.

Fingers crossed you find a job very soon.

Thanks so much for great update! Keep in touch.

Nancy
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Unread 09-16-2011, 08:44 PM   #6
bunz
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hey still going to church and still looking for a job just thought id check back in
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Unread 09-17-2011, 04:12 AM   #7
deedle
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hey bunz congratulations on your wicked awesome sobriety ...wishing you continued strength-d
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Unread 09-17-2011, 06:58 AM   #8
NancyB
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Hi bunz, glad to hear you're doing well. Thanks for the check in!

Fingers crossed you find a job soon.

Nancy
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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Unread 09-26-2011, 01:56 AM   #9
CarlyO
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Dear Bunz,
Hang in there, congrats and know that if you feel like you want to misuse, do everything in your power to remember what it was like BEFORE ! as always you can post like you did here, even reading other people's posts can help you get over that hurtle.
Take care, Carly
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Unread 10-04-2011, 01:22 AM   #10
bunz
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OH...man i deff just took a big bong hit of some weed now i feel really bad.....i was mad that my bf did xanax so i took some of his weed and smoked it lol its not funny or an excuse but geez hes freakin snoring really loud and was acting wierd all day as if i wouldnt notice..... HELLO IM A NURSE!!!! weve had this discussion b4 and i told him to just be honest bc the last time[2weeks ago] he was clearly high and he kept denying it i dunno whats up with me or how i pick these bfs of mine!!!! im mad at myself more bc i almost had a month of not smoking and i just used this as an excuse. i just cant win. My life is totally spinning out of control!!!! i know that things could be much worse... And i probably should have just prayed for him and our relationship. i feel trapped.... and its not like this is something you should share with your friends i try to keep my relationship between us two because that is the right thing to do.
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Unread 10-04-2011, 05:08 PM   #11
CarlyO
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Dear Bunz,

I understand that you have those feelings after the fact, ugh, remember them well. it happens. does the BF keep marajuana around? Just curious as That would be a trigger imo to know it's in the house. I understand you care for him, is this the same BF from Aug? this is just me, my experience and those of my friends, no guy is worth risking your health, sanity , well-being, a career you obvipusly worked very hard to attain. i know easier said than done, but there are good guys out there if he is not going to be on he same page as you.
I am concerned that the weed or any other substance could have the potential to lead you back to the hell of cocaine, you have 2 years away from that which is GREAT but you know you are playing with fire imo. Sometimes we switch substances aka a drug is a drug is a drug, you know? I remember when I misused cocaine , i was addicted for about a year, one night I thought I was having a heart attack, it scared me , I put the coke down and then picked up opiates and benzos because I had access to them due to health issues but I soon crossed that line, from taking a therapuetic dose to misusing to get high, addiction. My use progressed and my life went steadily downhill, ultimately lost everything and had to start over.

What also concerns me is you and your CAREER, in this economy , you are so fortunate to have a degree where jobs are in such demand. Are u worried they may do a random screen on you?
When you post you feel your life is spinning out of control you can stop it ,you can! It helps to have others, support. What support are you utilizing? IMO we all need someone to vent to, this forum is a great option, as well as other groups, counseling, like one on one or group. Even a close, trusted friend, family member.
Please keep us posted , be proud of your time which is awesome, would hate for you to jeopordize it.
Take Care , Carly
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.

Last edited by CarlyO; 10-04-2011 at 05:15 PM.. Reason: spelling added more
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Unread 10-16-2011, 03:09 AM   #12
bunz
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yes there are two bags of pot sitting on the table next to me right now!!!! but i am not going to touch them....im really not in a good mood tonight my ex friends are harrassing me on facebook these girls just wont stop threatening me and trying to ruin my life its as if they have nothing better to do with themselves trying to take away the few friends i have left....omg i just need to vent right now my bf is snoring so freakin loud im starting to think he took xanax again even tho i dunno how he got the money bc i took his credit cards and cash from him and im with him most of time except when he goes to work.... but ne ways besides that back to my venting im trying so hard to live my life the right way and people just seem to keep pushing my buttons. i took out my nursing books and started studying trying to let my anger out in the books ive been listening to music for like 3 hours and i just cant seem to stop being pissed the f off so i came here to write my feelings down my bf is tired of the drama and honestly i dont blame him its been like 3 months since i havent talked to these girls i have not said anything about them to anyone and they just keep bothering me uuugggghhhh!!!! i mite file a harrassment charge on them bc this is getting out of control!!!! as if i dont have enough problems going on rite now between trying to study and take care of my bf and the house now his father noticed that he was high the last time we went to his office and he asked me to make sure my bf stays on track...im trying my hardest to make this work bc i really care ab him.... td he took me shopping im wondering if it was so i wouldnt say anything to him ab the xanax..... but that is not gonna work im still gonna be on his ass tomorrow ab it i kno theres no sense in asking him tonight bc hes just gonna lie to me!!!! my bf works for his father and has another job that he works 2days a week but the one with his father is what pays the bills i dunno what his father will do if i report that he is using drugs he already sent him to rehab like 5 times this is so stressful but my test date should be coming soon to get my NCLEX done and then i can find a job and not have to worry bc if worse comes to worst i will be able to support myself.....but i dont want to be by myself i want to be with my bf and i want to have a family eventually.....sometimes i wonder how i got off track and ended up in this fast life....my plan was to finish school and get a new car and then get an apartment by myself or with my brother.... but no i had to go thinking my dreams were coming true!!!! OMG i hope tm at church theres a word in there for me bc i need to hear something motivating.....im really going to try and take my anger and frustration out on these books bc thats what i did during school bc i knew that school was my only way out of the life i was in... and i guess passing my nclex is the only way out of this hell also.... as far as support i dont have much my bfs dad says that the family is there for support but thats his family i certainly dont expect them to side with me completely...i do have a good friend that i went to nursing school with shes always there when i need to vent but i dont want to call her all the time with my problems either i kno that im pretty strong and can deal with problems on my own... i think ive been in worse situations than this one sorry that my grammar is off right now i dont feel like making the text perfect nut any ways im gonna take some Benadryl and try to sleep my allergies are killing me too SHEESH i cant get a break!!!!!
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Unread 11-06-2011, 02:41 PM   #13
CarlyO
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Dear Bunz ,
It has been a while, how are you ? I was re- reading your posts and concerned that BF keeps marajuana around, for many reasons but mainly because it puts you as risk. Lots of us have stopped one substance only to switch to another, so please be careful. Let us know how you are doing, take care, Carly
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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