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Unread 02-25-2009, 12:07 PM   #1
LauraC
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Question Lost and alone

Good Morning,
This is my first post and I am having trouble negotiating my way around this site. I hope I am in the right place. This is my first day sober AGAIN. I have been trying to get sober for about two years with mixed success. I can stop for short periods of time and then my brain says oh just today treat yourself and then it's back to drunk every day. I want to quit for many reasons but mostly for my son. He deserves a mother who is not drunk all the time. I guess what I am asking is "How do I do this and make it work?" Any suggestions?
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Unread 02-25-2009, 12:46 PM   #2
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Hi Laura C ,
Welcome and yes, you are doing this right.
I posted to you on the pother thread some suggestions about dealing boredom.

What have you tried in the past to stay stopped? Do you have any support system?
I can say for me, it was next to impossible for me to do this alone, but I knew if I asked for help , I would be accountable for my actions, like relapsing, so I stayed out there in there misery much longer than I needed to. I was stubborn, and only when I had lost friends and family, had my freedom threatened did I earnestly seek help. I hope you do not wait for something like that to happen, it is not worth it.

Would you be willing to see a counselor and/or get involved with some type of program? Think of it like this, you have tried to do it your way, now maybe take suggestions from others , try it - what have you got to lose?

How old is your son? I am sure he has feelings about your drinking, no matter how hard we try to hide it, they know on some level. People will say you have to help for you, but you are responsible for shaping the life of your son, I know you want to give him the best you can offer.

You are ahead already, you know you can stop, you HAVE stopped, so congrats on that , you should be proud of yourself! Now, it is matter of doing things differently, changing your pattern, so you will not return to alcohol. That is doable with help.

I posted the link to the resource locator and other help below, you just type in your zip code and it will show some of the options in your area. You can start with that list and start calling around. On the other thread I gave you a list of peer support groups, you can google whichever one you are interested in and each one has it's own list of meetings.

I hope this helps, please ask questions and keep us posted,hope you are having a good day: )
take care, Carly

http://www.alcoholanswers.org/alcohol-dependent-person/
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Unread 02-25-2009, 12:56 PM   #3
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Laura - I am also a "newby" to this site, and you are at the right place. I am struggling very much with alcohol abuse. Getting drunk everyday of my life. It is destroying my body, I know it and am powerless to do anything about it yet. I am not responding to you to give you any advise, but you will find tons of support here. I hope it helps you. Good luck to you, and I would like to keep in touch.
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Unread 02-25-2009, 01:10 PM   #4
LauraC
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I appreciate your responses and advice. The one time I actually had any time sober was through AA. I made it almost 6 months. I felt great. That was over a year ago now. I have tried just about every month to regain my sobriety. These tries usually last a week or two. I have a great family who supports me when I quit and look the other way when I fail. Sometimes I wish they would give me a harder time when i fail at another attempt.
My son is 14 and I know he knows what is going on. I worry about him.
I have been divorced for about 3 years. I left a very destructive alcoholic relationship to find that I was now an alcoholic too. I guess I thought leaving everything behind would fix my life.
I need to find the strength to finally do this.
I am pleased to have found this site. One more way to try.
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Unread 02-25-2009, 01:45 PM   #5
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Hi Laura,

Try reading the links I gave you- maybe there is something there that you can try. How were the 6 months in AA ? Would you be willing to go back to AA, since it did help before ? It is free and it would get you out and around people to support your efforts.

The most important thing is not to give up trying, some people can stop and never look back,I was not one of them, for most it takes effort, vigilance, you have to want this more than anything you have ever wanted in your life.

Please keep us posted, we are here for you : ) Carly
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Unread 02-25-2009, 01:52 PM   #6
dave53190
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Hi Laura,


Sentences 2,3,4, says it all, doesn't it? Why the reluctance (is there?) to do this again? From your post I gather that you wish your fam would be harder on you when you fail, and you feel badly about how your alcoholism is affecting your 14 year old son. Give yourself a break. Be kind to yourself. Do you have any idea what a big step you have made by posting your honest feelings in this forum? Most alcoholics don't get this far, you have. Congrats to you. You and your son will be in my prayers tonight. Take care and be good to you! Dave
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Unread 02-26-2009, 07:01 PM   #7
LauraC
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Default Day Two

Dave I appreciate your prayers.

This is day two for me. I just got home from work and this is usually the time I start drinking. So this is the most dangerous time of the day for me. I feel pretty strong right now. I have invited my older daughters over for dinner so hopefully that will distract me.
Carly, I have read some of the info you sent me. It was helpful. I especially enjoyed Rational recovery. I not sure I buy into it from the bullet points that I have read. Can it really be that easy? But I am keeping an open mind. Wish me luck!!!

Laura
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Unread 02-26-2009, 09:58 PM   #8
CarlyO
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Hi LauraC,
My computer is acting up but I wanted to see if this post gets to you. Hang in there and Congrats on 2 Days : ) keep us posted - will write more when I figure out why my computer keeps shutting down . Take care , Carly
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Unread 02-27-2009, 10:27 AM   #9
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LauraC how did it go last night? Keeping busy helps a lot. Do you have any hobbies? Maybe go bowling with your son or something like that. Try to set it up so there is something to do after work every night for a while. That can break the timing cycle of drinking. Get into therapy if you can. That helped me so much.

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Unread 02-27-2009, 06:59 PM   #10
LauraC
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Hello Jane,
Last night went well. Keeping busy does help. I have spent so many year isolating myself that I am afraid that I am now socially retarded. When I am sober I find I have nothing to say. Drunk i have plenty to say so I always just did that in private. I enjoy playing golf alot. I am not very good but I find it relaxing. Hard to do now that it's raining.
It's funny I have spent a lot of time in counseling and don't really feel I have any BIG issues left. Only small ones. Your right it does help a lot.
I think I drink out of boredom and isolation. I was never very social. And when you think so badly of your self for so long perhaps you feel like you have nothing to offer. Social settings make me so uncomfortable that I just want to run. Yes this has made dating impossible. Ha Ha. I wouldn't even think about bringing someone into my life until I get a grip on myself.
I am grateful that this support group is available. I don't feel quite so alone.

Laura
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Unread 02-27-2009, 08:45 PM   #11
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Hi Laura........Dave here. I want to apologize to you. I noticed in my previous post that I implied that you may be alcoholic and alcoholism may be having an affect on your son. That is not for me to decide or imply. Please accept my apologies.

If you decide, now or in the future, that you are alcoholic then I want you to know that today I have a life I didn't ever think was possible for me. In AA I listened to people and did what was suggested. I wish you and your son the best of everything.

I believe BIG issues and SMALL issues are simply part of being a human being. It has been my experience that most, if not all, issues improve over time when alcohol is re-moved from the equation. You mention boredom, isolation, not being very social as possible reasons for drinking. You say you are uncomfortable in social settings which makes dating impossible. May I suggest that these feelings you mention are the result of drinking issues and when the drinking issue is overcome, the feelings you have will improve over time.

Anyway, have a good evening and tomorrow go buy a good set of golfing raingear and go golfing anyway .............................. Dave
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Unread 02-27-2009, 09:01 PM   #12
LauraC
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Thanks Dave,
I did not take offense to your comments because I am an alcoholic and IF it hasn't yet had an effect on my son it definitely will soon.
I look forward to the day that I feel differently than I do now.Thanks for your words. They give me hope.
Laura
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Unread 02-27-2009, 09:51 PM   #13
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HI Laura, Any thing I say is only what works for me. The best suggestion I can give you, is you have to want to do this for you. Not your son or anyone else. Do you want to stop the insanity? Keep doing the same things over and over and expecting different results? That is Einstiens Theory of insanity. Try some AA meetings, connect with some other alcoholics. Get yourself a sponser and take thier suggestions. They will welcome you with open arms, they will not judge you.You have to go to meetings and OPEN YOUR MOUTH and say I NEED HELP. They will flock to you like starving birds to bread crumbs. It is the best thing I ever did in my entire life. I wish you the best and will pray for you. God will soon do for you what you could not do for yourself. Good Luck REMISIOUX

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Unread 02-28-2009, 10:59 AM   #14
CASEY
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Hi Laura,
Welcome to this site it is so helpful.
Congradulation's on your way to stop drinking. When you feel you need one, think of something stupid you did while you were drinking.
I found this quote and I love it; " It is not the first drink - it is the 15 that follow, when you lie to yourself that you can handle it or deserve it"
This site is great we are all stranger's in different situation's, but we are here to listen and we don't judge, we just give you our advice and you can do with it what you wish. And since we don't know each other, it is easy to come here and just
" VENT " , and it will not come back to haunt you. Family and Friend's think they are helping , but alot of the time , they just can't stop saying thing's they know nothing about until they walk a day in your shoe's.
With stopping sometime's it is one minute , one hour, 1-day. If you commit yourself you can do it, in no way am I saying it is easy - It is not. But it can be done.
Again Congradulation's , celebrate the small victorie's, they matter.
I wish you the Best of luck and hope to hear more from you!
Casey
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Unread 02-28-2009, 06:49 PM   #15
LauraC
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hello Everyone,

Here we are on day 4 with out alcohol. My brain started bargaining with its self about an hour ago. "Look how good you have been, have a drink" You can drink today and just stop again tomorrow" "Maybe just a small bottle". I know these feeling and thoughts will pass if I can get through the next hour or so. I am going to go out for a walk before it starts to rain. Wish me luck.

Thanks for listening.

Laura
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Unread 02-28-2009, 07:45 PM   #16
doug
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hey girl, doug here. Drunk again. I hope your walk went well, and I very much admire you on your 4th day of freedom. I am also a golfer, and find my health so battered because of drinking, I'm not sure if I can walk 18 holes again, or even 9 holes. I almost went pro back in the early 80's. Very sad, when I used to walk 36 holes anyday I wanted. Keep up the strenght. I checked out your string before I went to mine. I'll check in on you tomorrow. Maybe a better day for me. You go girl!!
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Unread 02-28-2009, 09:16 PM   #17
LauraC
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Hey Doug,
Thanks for checking on me.
I wish I had some words of advice for you.
All I can say is my thoughts are with you tonight.
Laura
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Unread 03-01-2009, 07:59 PM   #18
CarlyO
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Hi Laura

We had major storms yesterday and my computer is now back up - how are you doing ? Did the walk help get you past the craving ? Sometimes it is getting through it one hour , one minute at a time...
Have you considered medication assisted treatment- I gave a link to it and JaneDoe has had success with it. It may be something to discuss with your doctor?

I hope you are doing well, take care : ) Carly
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Unread 03-02-2009, 11:42 AM   #19
LauraC
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Good Morning Carly,
It's nice to hear from you. I am glad you worked out your computer problems. You are a big part of this site.
I am sitting here on the morning of my 5th day without alcohol trying to figure out what i am going to do today. I have to go to the grocery store which is always the hardest thing for me to do. But I am out of essentials so I have no choice. This always goes one of two ways. I run into the store buy three things and run out or I buy alcohol and spent the whole day drunk. This day is definitely going to be one minute at a time.I wish this monster would let go of me!!!
I have read all the information on medication. I am not ready yet to try that. But I am keeping an open mind. Never say never.
Wish me luck.

Laura
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Unread 03-02-2009, 11:56 AM   #20
LauraC
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This is so funny. Today is not the 5th day but the 7th day without alcohol. Will my brain ever work correctly again. Simple math seems beyond me. Has anyone else experienced this mind fog.

Laura
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Unread 03-02-2009, 08:25 PM   #21
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the fog?? are you kidding?? it's alway foggy until about 8:30 PM, you know what I mean. I hope you are doing well. Just think, only a few more weeks until golf season. Always a great help to keep you mind of of "things" bless you sister, be stronger than me. I thought your little story above, about groceries was cute. It made me laugh. If I may be forward, I'm curious as to how much you used to drink, how often, and how long do you think you've had a problem. Sorry, but I'm looking for help. If you don't want to talk about it, that's ok. I understand. Thanks for checking in on me, as you know it really does mean a lot. Hope to hear back from you. Chow..................
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Unread 03-02-2009, 10:37 PM   #22
LauraC
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Talking

Hi Doug. I glad someone finds humor in my story.Thanks for reminding me to not take myself so seriously.
I have been a house wife for the last 17 years. Raising the kids.
I have had been addicted to one thing or the other my whole life. Speed and pot through my late 20s and early 30th. That became too much, you know life falling apart and all that. So I stopped speed and the eventually the pot too. It was hard so I basically switched to Alcohol. My brother calls it changing seats on the Titanic. They all go down with the ship.ha ha
So I have been drinking earnestly (aprox 10 drinks a day, Vodka and orange juice) for 10 years. I left my husband, home, job and came home thinking that all would be fixed once I was out of that stressful situation. Not so. Now I don't have a lot of outside stress. I have a good job. But I get home from work at 4pm and am passed out by 7pm. To wake up and do it all over again. It is not the life I want to lead. Drunk alone is sad. There must be something else to do.
Laura
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Unread 03-03-2009, 08:19 PM   #23
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miss laura - i hear you loud & clear. I hope today has been a good & sober day for you. I know that each day makes you weker, and you will want to find excuses to drink. Stay strong sister, I want to see you make it. Thanks for being honest with me about your story. I only hope that someday(very soon) I can find the strenght to go even one day sober. I am sad, and sick. I just wish I could find one thing to turn off my need to drink. I had to go to the store tonight, right after work, and had to stop by a bar to get a six pack. I was home by 7:00 with a six pack in my gut, to a wonderful wife waiting for me in the kitchen. I sometimes wonder why she don't leave my sorry ass for a life without a drunk. We love each other very much, but she is so tolorant. If anything would happen to her, I would be done. good luck girl, I'll be thinking of ya!!
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Unread 03-03-2009, 08:44 PM   #24
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Hi Laura ,

Congrats on lets see Day 8 - This is great news ! The more time you put between you and that last drink the stronger you get. I worry that you are doing this alone, I am not trying to be pushy but would you consider some type of support like counseling, group, 12 step program? I know you said you tried AA - there are other groups, different meetings, one on one counseling- or at least surrounding yourself with a lot of positive people, doing positive things to keep you busy. I just do not want you to get bored and fall back in the same pattern.
Your brother sounds like he knows about addiction- I did the same thing in my life : switching seats on The Titatanic ; ) Is he a good support for you ?

I used say if only I had this, or that , I still found a reason to drink or use. Sure, there will always be life problems, heck I had to be loaded to get up and take a shower towards the end, how insane is that ? It is a relief to wake up and not have to that today.
I really believe that your life will change in so many good ways, we do not know what is in store for us but we have to give it a chance to happen !

Keep moving forward Laura - it is worth it : ) Take care, Carly
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Unread 03-03-2009, 09:14 PM   #25
CarlyO
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Hi Doug,

I was reading your post to Laura, about hoping one day to stop drinking... You can do this, you can Doug ! It starts with the recognition that you need and WANT help, you sound like you are at that point, the crossroads. I hope that maybe right now, you are getting used to the idea of stopping, just do not wait too long. No one here is going to give up on you, I would rather know you are ok and still drinking, asking questions, than for you to just not post, you never know when the day will come that you decide to take that leap of faith!

I wish it was as simple as sheer willpower- but this is a cunning, powerful and baffling disease. It sounds like you are physically addicted so asking you to Just stop would be detrimental to your health ( which is why medical supervision is advised) . It is a disease of the mind , body and spirit . If it were as simple as "turning your brain off of alcohol" there would be no need for support groups, treatment centers, medications, etc... it will bring even the strongest of the strong to their knees.

OK , I have rambled on ... keep reading and posting, learn as much as you can. Take care, Carly
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Unread 03-04-2009, 12:56 PM   #26
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Miss Carly - out of respect to Miss Laura, I will reply to you on my thread.
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Unread 03-08-2009, 11:43 AM   #27
LauraC
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Hello Everyone, I am still here and still struggling. Holding on to sobriety with both hands. I drank (alot) on Friday night. What a mistake. I felt good when I was doing it but the next day I felt like total crap. I am kinda glad it was such a bad experience it showed me why I am quitting.
I have given alot of thought to Carlys last post about me trying to do this all alone. I think I was hoping that I could deal with this by myself then no one would know my dirty little secret. I could just sweep it under the carpet and move on. I know this is not going to work. I have set up counseling appointments and will try to get to a meeting.
Wish me luck. Laura
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Unread 03-08-2009, 01:00 PM   #28
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Hi Laura, Dave here. I read that you got wasted Friday night and the next day you felt like "total crap". All I can say is I admire your honesty and that you NEVER have to feel that way again! The best of luck to you and your son!
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Unread 03-08-2009, 04:42 PM   #29
CarlyO
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Hi Laura,
Thanks for checking in, I think counseling is a great idea, a great start. It is not easy to this all alone. And Dave is right you never have to feel like crap again! Good luck and keep trying, take care, Carly
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Unread 03-08-2009, 08:31 PM   #30
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miss laura - so sad to hear you had a "setback", but very happy to know you realize it was a setback. No harm, no foul, you are open & honest, and sound like you have a plan with some counceling. Move forward from here. No better here on my front, but I'm cheering very loud for you girl. Anymore, I drink to get "well", to make the pain go away. The support here is very good, and you deserve all of it. Write me back when you can, I need it!!
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Unread 04-13-2009, 02:54 PM   #31
LauraC
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Hello Everyone,

I have been back and forth with the drinking and sobriety since I was here last. I finally started to go to meetings 5 days ago. It was VERY scary and I cried through the first meeting. The second wasn't much better. But a funny thing happened. At the fourth meeting I realized this is a whole club of people JUST LIKE ME. And they want to help. I have spent so much time isolating and convincing myself that I am not like them. I can do this on my own, that now on my 5th day of sobriety I feel a glimmer of hope. I haven't felt hope in a very long time. I am still very scared but maybe just maybe......

Doug- I have you in my prayers daily. Hope to hear from you.

Laura
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Unread 04-13-2009, 04:25 PM   #32
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Hi Laura,

So glad to hear from you. Congrats on going to meetings and that you feel hope, you can do this! I am glad you believe it and that you building a support system. It is scary at first , to walk in the rooms, but you did it - you should be very proud of yourself : ) It does get easier, I truly believe that you will meet some wonderful, caring people.

Well- there goes the tornado alarm, Yikes ! Please keep us posted and take care, Carly
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Unread 04-14-2009, 10:40 AM   #33
jerryg
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Laura,
I have been following your thread, and your present struggle with staying sober.
As I followed I could identify how isolated you were. Now in your last post you comment on a connection you arrived at while attending a meeting. You have reached a most important realization, and expressing it here can be very inspiring to others who are in early sobriety. I just wanted to thank you for sharing this step in your progress. And encourage you to continue attending your meetings and staying sober.
Thank you for sharing.
All the best in your sobriety.
Keep us posted.
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Unread 04-14-2009, 03:08 PM   #34
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Hi Laura,

I was reading your thread from Feb. 25. In it you said, among other things, "I want to quit for many reasons, but mostly for my son". In yesterday's thread you seemed more focused on YOU and YOUR recovery. A change in thinking that spells success. Also, you realized two important things about your meetings. One, most people there ARE just like you, and two, most of them really, really care about you finding sobriety. I still pray almost daily that you find permanent sobriety and that your son has a sober mom. Dave
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Unread 04-18-2009, 07:55 PM   #35
LauraC
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Hello Everyone,

As always I really appreciate the support this site offers.
Dave- I hadn't notice the change in focus from my son to myself. But you are right it made a huge difference. I was just trying to do it on sheer will power alone. This method was actually driving me crazy. The want to quit was there but the know how was not.
This is my 10th day sober along with my 10th meeting. The stress is slowly leaving me and I am not so scared. The people at the meeting have reached out to me and are showing me how to stay sober. I hesitate to get excited but I actually feel happier than I have in a long time. I honestly feel this is finally at least achievable. With a lot of hard work.
Thanks for your prayers.

Laura
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Unread 04-18-2009, 08:49 PM   #36
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Hi Laura,

I just came from my first session with a substance abuse counselor. The one thing he told me right away is I have been failing since I relasped months ago because that though I have periodically been to meetings and therapy I have been basically going it alone. Thinking I don't need the support system around me. I also have period where I do not drink then I think I can handle a couple of drinks but I know no stopping point anymore. I have three boys 19, 17, & 14 still at home. And I just came to my breaking point and realized it is not enough to want to get better for them. I also have never made any changes in my life to help keep me sober except for trying to stay away from the alcohol. I am on day 6 and will start a meeting a day tomorrow. I tried AA before a few times but I really need to just go and keep going. Right now it is like my homework from my counselor so in a way it is a gentle push for me everyday. So we will see! So just keep doing what your doing.


Take Care
deede
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Unread 04-18-2009, 08:54 PM   #37
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Hi Laura,

I am so happy for you : ) you really sound good and above all else hopeful ! Also, it is great to hear that you have a support network, it's nice to have people care, I know it was scary but you did it, you pushed through the fear ! Lean on them when you need support or direction, they remember what it was like and want only the best for you .
You should be proud of yourself ! I hope each day brings you closer to the happiness you deserve : ) Keep up the great work, take care, Carly
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Unread 04-19-2009, 11:14 AM   #38
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Hi Deedee,
I have been reading your thread and it sounds like we have alot in common. I too have been trying to do this alone. I don't have any friends, which is good because then they would know how much I drink. So I would hide at home and pretend that nobody knew. I would quit for a week or two but wouldn't tell anyone so when I started drinking again there would be no one to judge.
So this time I am doing everything opposite than I have in the past. Because clearly that was NOT working. I have told my entire family that I joined AA. They are very excited. Half of my family is in recovery, the other half is still out there using. I am sure that addiction devastates entire family's. I have a very nice middle class family. And this disease has taken out every single one of us.
Somehow I have found the will to attend AA meetings. Last night I actually got a sponsor. This is very good but scary because we are meeting for coffee today and she will most likely want to hear my story. I have never told anyone my whole story. So this scares the hell out of me. But they are telling me this is the path I must take to recover. I have decided that I will do anything to not to drink anymore , even if I find it uncomfortable.

Pray for me as I pray for all of you.

Laura
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Unread 04-19-2009, 02:03 PM   #39
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Damn, I'm so impressed at your determination to find a way of life that doesn't include alcohol. I hope and pray that you find in AA a life that you never dreamed of.

When I was newly sober I felt as you do. I was scared, anxious, afraid of the unknown. I remember being particularly afraid of those damned steps everybody was talking about. Slowly, I became aware of the people in AA who were genuinely interested in me and my sobriety. I surrounded myself with them. I listened; I followed their suggestions to the best of my ability. Today I have a life I never thought would have been possible for me. My original sponsor died last year. Often I think about how he was really interested in me staying sober. He didn't always have all the answers, but, he had a peace and serenity; a comfortableness in his own skin that I wanted and, I believe, have today.
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Unread 04-19-2009, 04:06 PM   #40
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Hi Laura,

I hope when you talk to you sponsor, even though it may be scary that you feel a sense of freedom , free from the burden, the shame, the isolation that we put ourselves in. I put myself in exile when I relapsed, it was utter hell, because I was so ashamed, I should have known better because I had had years under my belt. I put myself in my own prison but I had the key all along!

I have faith that as you continue on your journey you will find peace and a closer connection to your spirituality. Keep up the great work and thanks for posting, I know this is helping so many !

Take care , Carly
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Unread 04-23-2009, 11:35 AM   #41
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Good morning everyone,

Here I sit on my 15th day sober. I am still going to meetings and having a sponsor is helping alot. She is kindly helping me navigate this scary new life. Like Carly said I feel like I just escaped from prison. But still have the prisoner mentality. I am starting to feel things for the first time in a long time. Some things surprising and pleasant, like going to work without a hangover. Other things very hard. Like the questions, who am I? Why don't I have any self esteem? And where the hell do you get any self esteem. I am trying to look at this as a new start. I can be/become anyone I want. But who is that? Thankfully at this point I am not having very many cravings but I will remain on the look out for them. I am learning new strategies to deal with them. I know I am kind of prattling on.This is a very confusing time. Have you all been here? Any advice?

Laura
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Unread 04-24-2009, 07:53 PM   #42
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Hi LauraC,
Congrats, on 15 days.......Yippee! One thing...Laura, this
"new" life isn't scary at all......it's EXCITING! Enjoy the change, and never be afraid of the good things that happen when your sober........That's how it works!
Be Happy......Paulmaury!
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Unread 04-25-2009, 12:42 AM   #43
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Hi Laura,

Congrats on over two weeks of sobriety. You say that this is a very confusing time for you. I can certainly understand that. I vaguely remember being a couple of weeks sober and I couldn't understand why these people would have a meeting in a room where the flourescent lights buzzed all of the time. It was only after a few months that I realized the buzzing had been my brain, not the lights.

I think brutal honesty, especially with oneself, is vitally important if one is to find long lasting sobriety and happiness. You posed the following questions, "who am I?, why don't I have any self-esteem?, and where do you get self-esteem?. I believe I know the answers. One, you are a drunk. Two, abusing alcohol takes away self-esteem. and three, self-esteem will return once alcohol, drugs, etc. are removed from the equation.

I'm sorry if the above seems insensitive. It is what my experience has shown me and it is all IMO. Best of everything ............ Dave
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Unread 04-25-2009, 06:34 PM   #44
LauraC
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Dave,

Unfortunately I did find your words offensive. When asking the question "Who am I?" I was speaking more of who am I without alcohol. But thanks for reminding me that I am a drunk. I won't forget it any time soon.

I will be praying tonight of understanding and tolerance. For myself and others.

Laura
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Unread 04-25-2009, 09:46 PM   #45
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Hello Dave,

What you said hit me very hard and instead of thinking about it I just reacted.

And for that I apologize.

Laura
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Unread 04-26-2009, 12:05 AM   #46
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Hi Laura,

No need to apologize. There are plenty of people that have been a part of my life in the past that want nothing to do with me. I know I can rub people the wrong way. Brutal honesty, especially with oneself, is not easy. But with alcoholics, IMO, brutal honesty with oneself is vital to recovery.

I'm very sorry you found what I said offensive. I only mean to help. I have seen people die because of alcoholism. I have witnessed children scarred for life. I know first hand the devastation the disease of alcoholism can bring. I truly want the best for you and your son. How can that be wrong? Dave
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Unread 04-26-2009, 12:11 AM   #47
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Laura, I forgot to add this. Please don't give up on this site because of my posts. There are a lot of people on this site that also truly want the best for you and your son. Remember, I'm a drunk too, I just don't drink any longer.
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Unread 04-26-2009, 08:41 PM   #48
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Hi Laura,

When I first started getting into internet support groups, my feelings were hurt easily, got offended easily. I learned that it is difficult to gauge posts, personalities, where they are coming from so I would get upset. Partly due to being new at this and also still having raw emotions. I learned that people have different personalities, but mainly that people care, if they did not care then they would just ignore me.
What I know of Dave, is that he comes from a place that he would rather be honest than sugar coat things, in the end those are the people who saved my posterior ; ) and made me think.
I also believe he truly cares and wants everyone to succeed.

You are doing so great, I hope you will continue to share your experience.
I really have faith that you will find out who you are without alcohol, it is scary at times, because alcohol was such a big part of our lives. But in time, a new you will emerge and we know you are tough, you have accomplished so much! Keep pushing forward and be proud of yourself : )

Take care, Carly
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Unread 04-29-2009, 10:42 AM   #49
LauraC
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Good Morning,

I sit here on my 21st day sober and I am happy. I can finally see a different future for myself.
I have to say thank you to Dave. As hard as it was for me to hear that I am a drunk. I think it was exactly the boot up my rear I needed. At about 14 days the alcohol starts romancing me back in. It says to me..It wasn't so bad, you can handle it now, My resolve starts to fade. But Dave's comment made me remember loud and clear why I am putting myself through this.
I am still going to lots of meetings. The people there are so supportive. I have been meeting with my sponsor and have completed step 2. I wake up every morning grateful to not have a hang over. And I tell myself that I am on the right path.

Thanks again for being there for me.

Laura
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Unread 04-29-2009, 11:00 AM   #50
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LauraC,

So great to hear from you and ....... three weeks sober? Awesome! It excites me so much that you and your son have a future in store for you that you can't imagine right now. Keep up the good work. You both have my best wishes and are in my prayers. Dave
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