Addiction Survivors


Unread 10-21-2015, 12:38 PM   #1
Junior Member
Posts: 1
Unhappy Advice and support sought

Hi There,
I have been with my partner for 4 years and discovered just over a year ago (to my horror on the night he moved in with me) that he takes cocaine. I have had a year from hell. Hell in terms of promises made and broken and the heartache that maybe I would have to let him go. We were (before the discovery) trying for children and as I met him when I was 39 (I'm now 43) have sacrificed some very crucial years. Now I know what you may say and rightly so, thank goodness I didn't conceive. Yes, indeed but it has deepened my headache as now it is unlikely that I will. He is two people, one is fun, sexy, sweet natured and the other is selfish, aggressive and a fibber. I have told him to move out as I am making myself I'll with worry. I have done this countless times but trying to see this threat to. He does it about twice a week (I know this because he can't hide the effect it has on him) and on those nights he also drinks heavily. I sleep in my spare room as he frightens me when he comes in wasted and drunk, as not all the time but sometimes he is so aggressive and has screamed at me (he has not recollection the next day). He regularly forgets his wallet and keys and hammers the door in the middle of the night to let him in, me having to see that soulless turning face that I tried to avoid. He has been using cocaine for over ten years. I have tried every approach to help as I feel robbed by this horrible drug. He is upset that he has to go but he also seems more concerned about moving out of my welcoming home and missing our cat than he does me! I just need some words of wisdom to remain strong this time. I cry at night that I am with someone who uses drugs and I don't trust but I equally cry at loosing the man I planned to be with forever. I'm praying a break may make him sort himself out but if I am honest I think he cannot change. Heartbreak.
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