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Unread 01-06-2014, 05:07 PM   #1
Junior Member
Posts: 1
Default Husband who drinks

My husband has been a drinker for over 20 years. I've been with him for the past seven. During that time, it has been a roller coaster. At first the drinking didn't interfere with his life. Now it controls his life. After his tour in Afghanistan, his days aren't complete unless he's had his whiskey - and lots of it. He's trying to quit ... again ... but I don't know how long it will last. He has already been diagnosed with brain atrophy from chronic alcohol use and still doesn't see a need a stop drinking. Right now the only reason he's "quitting" is because I told him if he doesn't, I will leave. How can I get him to realize that he needs to stop for himself and not for me?
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Unread 01-07-2014, 03:59 PM   #2
R. Lee
Senior Member
Posts: 4,984

christy83169, Welcome to this sight.

I'm a recovering alcoholic who drank for 42 years. Alcohol along with everything I wanted came 1st. Life was all about me.

I gave away 3 marriages. My children were living in CA & MI while I bounced around in MI. I gave away my job only to get it back in arbitration. I started trying to quit drinking in 1982 when I lost my job. I did not drink for 7 months but went back to drinking when I got my job back. I quit again in 1984 trying to convince my 1st X wife to move back to MI with our 3 children. I quit drinking for her. I did not drink for 7 months again. We were remarried & I even though I had resumed drinking. That marriage lasted 2 years.

My now 1st & 3rd wife (same person) fled back to CA with the kids only to return to MI a few years later. We got back together while I was still drinking.

In 2004 after drinking for 20 more years I had to have by pass surgery I quit again for 4 months. I resumed drinking for 7 more weeks & I spun out of control. I reached out for help through a support group.

I quit drinking 9/5/2004. I had to reach out for help from a support group of recovering alcoholics. I had to stop drinking for myself.

I'm a Marine Corps Vietnam veteran.

I'm 100% disabled. I see a clinical social worker every 2 weeks with a 1 on 1 session. I also go to group therapy every 2 weeks.

You can not get your husband to sober up for you. He has to do it for himself.

I stay in today. I only try to stay sober just for today. It has worked for 9 years.

I have been blessed to get my life back.

I wish you & your husband the best. Your story helps me stay sober just for today.

Last edited by R. Lee; 01-07-2014 at 04:04 PM..
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