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Unread 02-05-2013, 01:06 AM   #1
michaelc232
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Default Breaking The Bottle

Saturday night at about 10 P.M I was invited to go out and party with some friends. There was about 6 of us, and most of us got completely trashed. Well, when it was finally time for my friend to take me home I was too drunk to realize that he was just as trashed as I was, and I got in the car with him behind the wheel. I didn't remember much that night, but when I woke up the next morning, the memories of the car swerving in and out of lanes, and almost running off the road about 3 times, flooded my mind. I sat in shock for about 10 minutes realizing that I should not be laying in my bed, but in a morgue somewhere. I know that I should have died that night, but I feel as if my Higher Power saw it fit to protect me and let me live, and give me another shot at this life. I am done with alcohol. It has wreaked havoc on my life for the last year and a half, changing the happy, loving person that I am into this mood swinging, hateful, bitter monster. I am so grateful to be sitting here typing this message to you, I am so thankful to have breath in my lungs and be alive today. I'm just a few hours away from 48 hours sober, and I have not had one craving. The thought of drinking alcohol feels grim, and full of despair. It's so funny, because before Sunday morning, the thought of living without it made me feel that way. I know that after a few days the urge to drink may return so I have already gotten phone numbers, and surrounded myself with a support group in case I want to drink again. I have said my goodbyes to alcohol, and parted with it as I dumped the last half of my vodka down the sink last night. Thank you all for your love, care and support. I can't wait for you to get to share in my sobriety, and for me to be able to share my story with others.

Michael
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Unread 02-05-2013, 01:59 PM   #2
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Michael, Congratulations on your new sobriety. This may have been your turning point.
I'm glad to see you mentioned a support group & that you have phone numbers to call before you pick up that next drink.
My best to you brother recovering alcoholic.
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Unread 02-05-2013, 06:08 PM   #3
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Thanks R.Lee.
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Unread 02-05-2013, 07:43 PM   #4
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Hi Michael,

Way to go buddy and also glad to hear that you have a support group, and I hope you use it up to the max! It's really hard when that monster craving hits you right in the gut, but each time you/me get through it by thinking the next drink ALL the way through, it gets a easier until at some point you notice it's a lot easier! Just keep at it and keep us posted.

Frank
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Unread 02-05-2013, 11:01 PM   #5
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Hi Michael,

Way to go buddy and also glad to hear that you have a support group, and I hope you use it up to the max! It's really hard when that monster craving hits you right in the gut, but each time you/me get through it by thinking the next drink ALL the way through, it gets a easier until at some point you notice it's a lot easier! Just keep at it and keep us posted.

Frank
I love you Frank!!!! You rock!!!

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Unread 02-06-2013, 12:28 AM   #6
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I love you Frank!!!! You rock!!!

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Would that be metal, classic, soft or punk? Thanks Saint.

Frank
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Unread 02-06-2013, 08:13 AM   #7
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I'm thinking more like classic....
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Unread 02-06-2013, 08:22 AM   #8
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Michael,

I am so glad to hear you have a plan.... people to call and support to be there for you when you need them. So very important I think. The next important thing would be to actually make the call....maybe even a practice call or two. Seriously..

It can be the people, places and things that we normally surround ourselves with that can be the real threat to our sobriety. They say stopping the drinking is the easy part and I believe that to be true for me. Don't get me wrong it was hard at times, the urges sometimes really tough in the beginning but it does get easier with time. The hard part for me was being honest with myself about why I drank, the triggers, emotions that I blurred with alcohol. Working, continuing to work on those things was the hard part for me. Progress, not perfection!

You're starting on the right path again Michael. We're right there behind you.

Stay safe,
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Unread 02-06-2013, 03:20 PM   #9
R. Lee
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Frank is the real deal. I'm so proud how he is staying sober & helping others.
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Unread 02-06-2013, 03:50 PM   #10
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Hi Michaelc232!

I have been following your story and I am so glad that you got to "that moment" when you realized that you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. Everyone here is on your side, me included! As RLee says, think through that first drink. It really is that first drink that gets you, not the 20th. You sound like you have had enough of living that kind of life. Doesn't it feel good to be on the right path of getting the sober you back? It isn't easy, but it is SO WORTH IT. Life still happens, but just don't drink today. Just today. Worry about tomorrow when it comes. Take care, great job! Jenm
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Unread 02-06-2013, 04:34 PM   #11
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I'm thinking more like classic....
Classic su###. They play the same songs they burnt out back in the day. Even the groups that made them hate to hear them over and over. I don't know what this has to do with not drinking....

Frank
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Unread 02-06-2013, 05:20 PM   #12
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Frank is the real deal. I'm so proud how he is staying sober & helping others.
Hi Lee, you guys are swelling my head! But really, if it wasn't for you, Saint, Carly, and all the people here who are staying sober who have been nurturing me along over, and over, and over again, I would still be drinking, no doubt. Heart felt thanks to you all, and if I don't drink, this Sat. will be 11 months, and that is very close to one year! Who would have thunk it?

I'm still working with a friend who is going to a morning meeting most days, but I think he is going to have to beat his head against the wall a few times yet... Im going to take him the book Living Sober tomorrow, and Michael, the book helped me a lot with lots of tips on staying sober. Maybe ask at your group. For someone who is new or relatively new it can be a great help working/getting thruough the awful pangs to drink.

Frank
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Unread 02-06-2013, 06:31 PM   #13
michaelc232
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Thanks everyone for your encouragement and ideas. I know that this is it for me, and that I cannot go back to drinking. I have allowed myself to step into the mentality that drinking is simply no longer an option. When stress comes, I force myself to stop and think about what is stressing me out, make a plan on how to fix it, and think it all the way through to the end. Then I take a deep breath, and go back to what I was doing. I was always too lazy to think through the stress, so I drank through the stress. I didn't want to make important life choices, and I knew that as long as I was drunk I didn't have to. This is an entirely new life for me, and I am so grateful to be living it.

Michael
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Unread 02-07-2013, 09:02 AM   #14
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You're on the right path Michael. You're being honest with yourself and your making good decisions. Hang in there!!

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Unread 02-07-2013, 03:36 PM   #15
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Thanks Saint. Today is day 5 sober. I'm feeling great!
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Unread 02-07-2013, 04:31 PM   #16
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Way to go Michael!!!
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Unread 02-07-2013, 10:47 PM   #17
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Awesome, Michael! 5 days is a long time! I'm excited for you and you are in my thoughts. Jenm
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Unread 02-07-2013, 11:24 PM   #18
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Good work Michael! Should you feel things going sideways reach out right away. Remember we've been where you are. You're not going through this alone. Thinking positive thoughts for you Mike!!

Take care,
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Unread 02-08-2013, 03:47 PM   #19
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Hey everyone, today I am working on day 6 sober. I am a little skeptical going into the weekend, and know that if cravings are going to hit, this is when they will strike. I am already ready with phone numbers, and my Pastors who live right next door told me that I can come over and hang out with them anytime that I feel a craving coming on. I'm planning on taking it easy tonight. I ordered a pizza, and am settling in for a movie. I'll probably be checking in and out of here throughout the night. Love you guys!

Michael
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Unread 02-08-2013, 11:31 PM   #20
R. Lee
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Michael, Great you have a plan & you are aware. Think through the urge if it comes.
Keep it simple like you are doing. You only have to do this 1 day at a time.

We love you, R. Lee
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Unread 02-09-2013, 12:58 AM   #21
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Michael,

Glad you told your Pastor. You're doing the right things, making good decisions. Enjoy the pizza and movie Michael!

I'm watching the snow come down. Not sure how much longer the power is going to stay on. Right smack dab in the middle of a blizzard! The wood stove is fired up so all will be good.

Wish you the best,
Saint
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Unread 02-09-2013, 01:12 AM   #22
michaelc232
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Thanks R.Lee, I'm definitely taking this one day at a time, and it is working great!
Saint, I'm glad I told my Pastor too, He was very supportive and is more than happy to help me. Stay warm up there!
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Unread 02-09-2013, 08:25 PM   #23
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Once the clock strikes Midnight tonight, I will be one week sober. This is the longest that I have remained sober over the last 6 months. I still feel awesome, and am just so grateful to be alive. Thank you all for your continued support!

Michael
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Unread 02-09-2013, 09:46 PM   #24
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Great job Michael!


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Unread 02-09-2013, 10:45 PM   #25
R. Lee
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Michael, You sound proud. You should be.
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Unread 02-10-2013, 11:21 PM   #26
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Well I made it through my first sober weekend. I had a few light cravings, but I think that it was boredom more than anything else. I am really searching for some new hobbies and activities to get involved in during the weekends to keep my mind occupied. If anyone has any suggestions, I would be more than happy to hear them. I have slept alot this weekend, and since I have had no alcohol in my system, the sleep was uninterrupted and very refreshing. I am feeling very positive, and ready to start the work week. Blessings!

Michael
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Unread 02-11-2013, 03:11 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by michaelc232 View Post
Well I made it through my first sober weekend. I had a few light cravings, but I think that it was boredom more than anything else. I am really searching for some new hobbies and activities to get involved in during the weekends to keep my mind occupied. If anyone has any suggestions, I would be more than happy to hear them. I have slept alot this weekend, and since I have had no alcohol in my system, the sleep was uninterrupted and very refreshing. I am feeling very positive, and ready to start the work week. Blessings!

Michael
Way to go Michael!

Frank
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Unread 02-11-2013, 06:47 PM   #28
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Today is day 9 sober, and I am still doing good. I have been thinking alot lately about what to do with all of my extra time. I have decided to do something that I have always wanted to do but never could with a drink in my hand. I am going to begin work on my very first book. I have always thought about writing a novel, but as we all know, drunk and typing just don't go together.... lol! This will consume alot of my time, and will keep me quite busy. I'm really excited about this. This is something that will not just fill my time, but will help me stay sober.

Michael
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Unread 02-11-2013, 08:11 PM   #29
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Michael, Way to go at it 1 day at a time. I encourage you to stay busy. Writing a novel will keep you very busy.
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Unread 02-11-2013, 11:13 PM   #30
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Great idea Michael! Doing something you've always thought about doing but never made the time for is perfect. Who knows you could be the next Stephen King. I kind of miss the old fashioned typewriters..... you know the ones you see in a museum : )

Keep up the good work,
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Unread 02-12-2013, 08:28 AM   #31
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Great job, Michael! I've always wanted to write a book too, but I don't have enough patience to sit and get my thoughts together, so I wind up doing something else. Good luck with the book! Jenm
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Unread 02-12-2013, 06:47 PM   #32
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Thanks guys! The book is going to have alot of my life story sprinkled into it, but it will be fiction so I will have the ability to make up anything I want and add it to the story.... Muahahaha! LOL! I'm working on day 10 today. I found myself getting very agitated earlier over something very minute, and had to catch myself before I blew up. It seems as if the PAWS have started, which is fine because I feel like since I know what my body and mind are going through, I have power over it. Your comments and encouragements help me so much, so I will probably continue posting in here on a daily basis. BTW where is CarlyO??! I miss that sweet lady!
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Unread 02-12-2013, 11:35 PM   #33
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Michael,

It's encouraging to hear you talk of PAWS. Nice to know you're doing your homework. The more you know about the disease the better able to deal with it IMO. There are lots of success stories out there and it seems just as many tragedies. My girlfriend's coworker buried her 26 year old son today, drug overdose. Sad....

Yes I miss Carly also. She was there for me when I was getting sober. She is a terrific person with so much to offer, and with love in her heart for all. She had mentioned in a post awhile ago that she wouldn't be posting as often but will be back. It's a double edge sword for me. She devotes lots of time and energy here so I'm happy for her that she has other things going on in her life but yes, she is missed....

You're doing great Michael! And as Carly always would tell me, "Stay vigilante".

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Unread 02-13-2013, 12:25 AM   #34
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+ 1 on missing Carly. Too bad i've read all of Stephen King's books, or John Grisham's for that matter.

Frank
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Unread 02-13-2013, 01:22 PM   #35
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We miss you Carly!!!!!
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Unread 02-13-2013, 05:04 PM   #36
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Maybe we should start a "We Miss You Carly" thread!!




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Unread 02-13-2013, 08:21 PM   #37
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Hello everyone, I just wanted to stop by real quick and say hello. Working on day 11 today, I'm feeling kinda stressed out, but I am learning to work through it sober. Love you guys.

Michael
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Unread 02-13-2013, 08:55 PM   #38
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Maybe we should start a "We Miss You Carly" thread!!




Saint
So start it already!

Frank
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Unread 02-14-2013, 06:10 PM   #39
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Today is day 12 sober. I'm feeling pretty good. About to relax for the night and watch a movie.
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Unread 02-14-2013, 07:46 PM   #40
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Nice job Michael! Keep it simple.

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Unread 02-17-2013, 12:38 AM   #41
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Michael,

Thinking of you. Hope you're having a good weekend.

Stay safe,
Saint
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Unread 02-17-2013, 12:50 AM   #42
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I'm doing great Saint, thanks for checking. In just a little over an hour I'll be 2 weeks sober. I'm already beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel with the brain fuzziness and other early recovery side effects. Thanks again for checking on me. Blessings.

Michael
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Unread 02-17-2013, 01:24 PM   #43
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Michael, You are sounding great.
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Unread 02-17-2013, 05:48 PM   #44
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I'm feeling great R.Lee!
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Unread 02-19-2013, 01:58 AM   #45
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I'm 15 days sober today. Ready to start day 16. Goodnight everyone. Blessings!

Michael
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Unread 02-19-2013, 12:46 PM   #46
R. Lee
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Yes you have another 24 hours. Keep it simple one day at a time. It works.
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Unread 02-19-2013, 11:23 PM   #47
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Good to hear Michael! You sound happy - coming out of the constant cycle of drinking, and if not drinking, thinking of drinking. I don't ever want to forget that. That is why we need support I think, need each other. Alcoholism has a way of making us forget how bad it was - it is mind baffling. Constant reminders are what I need, and I get that from other people who knows exactly what it feels like. Take care! Jenm
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Unread 02-20-2013, 10:03 PM   #48
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Jennm,

I agree. Our minds , over time, let us forget the pain we put ourselves through. I too like the reminder of how it once was so I never forget the past. Plan for the future, live for today, and learn from the past.

Michael,
Keep it up, you're doing great. Stay in the day, the moment if you need to. Wishing you the best. Take care,

Saint
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Unread 02-22-2013, 03:19 PM   #49
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Thanks everyone! Today is day 19 for me. I'm feeling ok. I had some pretty nasty drinking dreams last night so I woke up with it on my mind. But I have been keeping myself busy, and I am going to go out to eat with a good friend of mine in a little while. I've always been really bad about isolating myself when I start to feel like this, so I'm going to break the cycle and spend time with people today. Love all you guys!

Michael
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Unread 02-22-2013, 05:18 PM   #50
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Most of us get the drinking dreams. When ever I have one along comes the lie that I will not tell anyone I drank.
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