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Unread 02-09-2014, 11:17 PM   #1
Sad girlfriend
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Unhappy A little confused...

I am completely unsure but here goes: I have never used drugs so I'm completely naive as to knowing symptoms but, I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about six months. When we met he was living in a sober home and explained to me he was there for crystal meth addiction. He has since left there. We are not young, late 40's. Anyway this is the most sweet, loving man and things were going pretty well. When we first met he told me he cannot drink alcohol as one leads to another and he would want to do drugs again. About two months ago he started drinking alcohol and assures me that was never his problem and he can handle alcohol. About two or three weeks ago suddenly his behavior and attitude, everything, changed. I felt like I did not know who I was dealing with suddenly. He has been hyper, or moody, irritated or agitated at normal things, attacking me verbally, etc, I am do sad and do confused. I asked him straight up if he was using drugs and he assures me he has absolutely not. One minute he tells me he loves me so much and next he is calling me names and turning every disagreement around onto me, very manipulative. I honestly do not know what to believe -- I want to trust his word but he is SO completely different I feel like he is a completely different person. Now a few days have gone by and he calls me telling me how he loves me and misses me sounding like the old person I fell in love with. What should I do??
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Unread 02-10-2014, 03:14 PM   #2
NancyB
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Hi Sad girlfriend, welcome. If you have doubts about if he's back to using methamphetamine, have you thought about telling him you'd like him to do a drug test? Buy one at Walmart or CVS etc. making sure it covers methamphetamine so you have it on hand when you ask him. If he refuses, then you have your answer.
http://www.walmart.com/search/search...h_constraint=0

He may try to turn it on you and make you feel guilty. But remember, it's his behavior that you are questioning. You have done nothing wrong and since you know his background with addiction, you're smart to question him. If he has been using meth again, set your boundaries. You can tell him you will not be anywhere near when he is using; but you will support him 100% if he decides to stop again.

You need to take care of you first and foremost. Let us know how you're doing.

Nancy
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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Unread 02-12-2014, 01:22 AM   #3
Sad girlfriend
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Thank you so much for responding. I appreciate and will follow your advice.
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Unread 02-12-2014, 07:17 AM   #4
NancyB
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Hi Sad girlfriend, I just hope it's helpful. Please let us know how you're doing when you can.

Nancy
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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Unread 02-12-2014, 11:42 AM   #5
Twiddledum
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Hello. It's not easy to walk away from a relationship. Part of being human is the fear of being lonely, I am not confused here. Another part of being human is our intuition. I'm still learning to trust it myself also at 45 yrs. old but time and time again listening to that inner
voice has paid dividends.

One thing I have learned is that life is short. There is not enough time to be unhappy. It sounds to me like your generally unhappy with your relationship. Focus on finding someone who builds you up and makes you smile. You were picked from an infinite number of possibilities to be born and experience the best life has to offer. Please don't be afraid to put your best foot forward. Concentrate on exactly what you want. Pray for it. Repeatedly. The tough part is being patient to wait for it and believing it.
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Unread 02-19-2014, 01:54 AM   #6
hockeygirl
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Hi Sad Girlfriend, I have been there. I have never used any narcotic or illegal drug. I ended up in a relationship with an amazing man that I loved and cared for more than anything! (and still do in many ways) His true colors began to show about 5 months into our relationship. .. a year and a half in we were in a courtroom for the second time when I was granted a permanent restraining order. If you know, they don't just give those out, they are earned. I am not saying your story is or will be anything like mine... but I am here if you would like to talk... as we all are here, you've come to a great place!

I did buy and propose drug tests.. didn't go so well for me

Please keep sharing, my thoughts are with you!

-Hockeygirl
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