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Unread 03-14-2008, 03:21 PM   #1
thirdtime
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Hi- I love the serenity prayer but I am stuck on the 'wisdom to know the difference' part. I am hoping I did the right thing. I left a letter this morning for my husband to get when he gets home. I told him I had a problem, I'm a co-dependent and obsessed with his consuming of alcohol and that I am getting help (starting on anti-depressants today and going to counseling on Monday) and asked him to get help as well as go to counseling with me. I am going away this weekend and won't see him until Sunday so it will give him the weekend to think about things. I have been an emotional wreck all morning and will be a pack of nerves for a while. I can't stop crying. I love my husband. He actually has been so good this week, I think he may have had 1 beer all week, but now it's Friday and I am going away....
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Unread 03-14-2008, 10:44 PM   #2
SLynn
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The serenity prayer is awesome. It's what comes before the line 'the wisdom to know the difference' part that you have to ask yourself.

*God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference*

You can't change your husband, he has to change himself. He has to want to change. You have to be strong and do things to take care of yourself, which it seems like you are doing. Once you stop trying to control what you can't control, that's wisdom. It's not easy, but it's wisdom.

It seems like you are doing some proactive things for yourself. Let me know what happens this weekend. Try and have fun. No matter how miserable you will be thinking about what he is doing, it won't change what he is going to choose to do. Think about that.

SLynn
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Unread 03-16-2008, 09:49 PM   #3
thirdtime
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thanks SLynn =

I had a good weekend with my friends in a place where I have serenity. but I am back to the insanity. I left the note for my husband. But I just came home and he is drinking. He just left to drive his son home. He made a comment to the effect that I still had a puss on my face and made a comment about the letter. I said we can talk later, he was like "yeah - whatever". I am not even sure I want to be here when he gets back.
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Unread 03-17-2008, 08:49 PM   #4
SLynn
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thirdtime

Were you able to talk with your husband about the letter?

SLynn
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Unread 03-18-2008, 04:39 PM   #5
thirdtime
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Hi SLynn-
no we haven't talked yet. I did tell him I was sorry I didn't say things in person. He did buy alcohol last night but it wasn't opened yet. This weekend we are alone. I will feel better talking to him in the morning when I know he hasn't had a drink yet. I am trying to take one moment at a time. I started counseling yesterday morning. I am also planning on attending an Al-Anon convention in 2 weeks. I still am trying to figure out how to talk to my husband. It just made me sad that he didn't realize how much I am hurting too. It made me realize what a long road I have ahead of me. He has been a bit nicer the past 2 nights. One day at a time. I have to remember the mottos.
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