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Unread 11-16-2009, 11:04 PM   #101
Frankie
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Hi Frank,
Very eager to learn how this weekend went, if you want to share, I do hope it went went well.
Re: finding a professional...
Did you get the name for the specialist from the Locator Link here on the site ? If you did not- try that, most of the physicians/ specialists /counselors..want to be on the list so they may be more inclined to be more helpful from the reception to the specialist.

I think it is great that you at least picked up the phone and tried to find a professional to work with. It is all progress IMO. Just do not give up.
Rudeness is not a good sign, but maybe the receptionist was having a bad day ? Possibly, maybe ?
All I know is that I called around, and yes, there were places that I felt were judgmental, but also, I was on the defensive too. I kept calling, until... I found an office that was like we can get you in today, no problem, very kind, helpful.
Turned out, the specialist was in recovery himself, very down to earth specialist. My counselor, is not but has been working in the field for years, has dealt with loved ones, and is non judgmental- she genuinely wants to help.
**It is worth it when you find supports you are comfortable with. And will help you delve into the questions you have.

Until then, we are here for you, and you know the various supports out there.
Post an update when you have time- hope you and wife are home safe and sound. Take care, Carly : )
I Carly,

I was a bad boy and drank sat. Not much else to say on that one. Thanks for checking in on me again.

Frank
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Unread 11-16-2009, 11:16 PM   #102
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Frank, Your not a bad boy, but you may be an alcoholic. Thanks for being honest. Good luck with your decisions. R. Lee
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Unread 11-16-2009, 11:52 PM   #103
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Default Hi Frank -

Hi Frank,

As Rlee said - thank you for your honesty and I do agree it is not about being bad or good, right or wrong.
Honestly, I think you have much more insight into how your alcohol use affects you, your process - than maybe you even realize, i.e. you sought out help last week, maybe you knew this trip would be a struggle or because you feeling better.... Then you faced your triggers, aware that you had the urge to drink before you even picked up- many days before in fact. You even said that when you are feeling good physically - you may drink, maybe your disease is telling you, it's ok, Frank, one or more won't hurt you.

More importantly, how do you feel ? If you want to share.

Those are just some thoughts I had, but was just about to sign off, I will elaborate more tomorrow.

I do not think this is a bad thing, maybe there is a lesson in all of this AND you are trying to eliminate a behavior that you have been dealing with for many years. So, please do not give up, this is an opportunity to learn and grow.

I am just relieved you are home and posted to us !
Take care, Carly : )
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Unread 11-17-2009, 06:35 PM   #104
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Hi Frank,

As Rlee said - thank you for your honesty and I do agree it is not about being bad or good, right or wrong.
Honestly, I think you have much more insight into how your alcohol use affects you, your process - than maybe you even realize, i.e. you sought out help last week, maybe you knew this trip would be a struggle or because you feeling better.... Then you faced your triggers, aware that you had the urge to drink before you even picked up- many days before in fact. You even said that when you are feeling good physically - you may drink, maybe your disease is telling you, it's ok, Frank, one or more won't hurt you.

More importantly, how do you feel ? If you want to share.

Those are just some thoughts I had, but was just about to sign off, I will elaborate more tomorrow.

I do not think this is a bad thing, maybe there is a lesson in all of this AND you are trying to eliminate a behavior that you have been dealing with for many years. So, please do not give up, this is an opportunity to learn and grow.

I am just relieved you are home and posted to us !
Take care, Carly : )
Hi Carly and Lee,

I'm not really beating myself up over drinking last sat., as I was drinking when I first came to this forum. I just drank without trying hard enough to combat it. I know why we can't have a phone list, but it sure would come in handy.

Thanks for your advice! I need to hear it. As far as how I feel? I'm still hung over after 9 beers sat. All this is my own doing, and i'm going to have to do something different.

Frank
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Unread 11-17-2009, 09:04 PM   #105
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Frank, Knowing that you have a problem is a giant step for the alcoholic. It is not the 9th beer that will get you. It is the 1st one. Thanks for keeping us up dated. I learn from everyone here. You just told me it is not getting any better out there. R. Lee
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Unread 11-19-2009, 12:56 PM   #106
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Hi Frank,

How are you feeling - any better ? I really believe that you are changing, maybe not as fast as you like, but something is changing, I can tell it by your posts.
How did your wife your react to you drinking - if you want to share?
I mean did you get along better when you were not drinking? Some may say well Duh, yes, but just curious.
I know it sounds hokey but make a list of pros of cons to drinking, sometimes when we see it on paper - how many pros far outweigh the cons, it may help when you start thinking about that drink.

I hope you will update us, hang in there Frank !
Take care, Carly : )
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Unread 11-21-2009, 11:19 PM   #107
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Hi Frank,

How are you feeling - any better ? I really believe that you are changing, maybe not as fast as you like, but something is changing, I can tell it by your posts.
How did your wife your react to you drinking - if you want to share?
I mean did you get along better when you were not drinking? Some may say well Duh, yes, but just curious.
I know it sounds hokey but make a list of pros of cons to drinking, sometimes when we see it on paper - how many pros far outweigh the cons, it may help when you start thinking about that drink.

I hope you will update us, hang in there Frank !
Take care, Carly : )
Hi Carly, Lee, all,

Thanks for checking you guys. I think the pros and cons on paper is a good idea. A one hour glo, and paying for it for a week or two (or longer) should be a no brainer, but who knows. The list would be severly lopsided with only one small plus on the drinking side.

My wife is afraid for my health, so she doesn't like it. She doesn't drink at all, and that is one (big one) reason I married her. Two negitives don't make a positive. Also, we get a long better without the beer. She rags on me big time when i drink. She doesn't know I drank last sat. yet. I will tell her when she gets back from her moms.

One big problem I have is that i'm about 40 lbs. over, and I have the begining of diabetes. I'm on a diet, and have lost 7 lbs. this week. I know that your not suposed to diet when trying to stop drinking, but I don't care. I have to get the weight off, or come down with diabetes for life. Drinking beer is not exactly conducive to weight loss, or diabetes.

Hope things are going good for all. Take care,

Frank
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Unread 11-22-2009, 12:13 AM   #108
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Frank,

Good for the wife for ragging on you - it's because she cares for you.

7 lbs. in one week is huge! If you're eating the good stuff and not too much of the stuff that tastes good I think you're doing the right thing, IMO.

Take care Frank.

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Unread 11-22-2009, 12:57 AM   #109
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Frank don't put too much on your plate by this I mean don't try do do everything at once. Good luck.
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Unread 11-22-2009, 03:02 PM   #110
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Hi Frank,
There you are !
So you have been home without your wife this week? Has that been a challenge as far as wanting to drink?
As mentioned , she cares about you, your health. She wants you around and you two have a chance at having a great life together without alcohol interfering.

As far as the weight, it all goes to together with changing your lifestyle in a positive manner, one benefits the other. And you like to exercise which is a huge plus because I think it helps with getting the endorphins, our body's natural feel good chemicals going.

So, you are working on the physical, one day soon maybe you will be ready to tackle the rest that comes with putting the disease into remission.

I hope you have had a good weekend- thanks for keeping us posted, take care, Carly : )
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Unread 11-23-2009, 01:36 PM   #111
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Hi all,


Thanks to all of you for checking. Wify's mom is not feeling well, so she is still there, and i'm having thoughts again about drinking. I have to go down the mountain to get food, and thats sort of a slippery place for me, as drinking is always tied in to eating for me. Having thoughts of getting something to bbq on the weber, and of course a 12 pack to go with it. Home alone is not good for me.


This is an ingrained habit I have had for years. I have an addiction to food, and beer. I drink to stimulate my appetite, then for the final orgasism I plop down on the couch in front of the tv, and eat a big gutt bomb before going to bed. Like Lee said, "don't put too much on your plate", but thats what i'm doing.


Kind if weird, but just writing about this is kind of making me think that I won't get that steak & a 12er. Just don't know. Feel like I need to reward myself for loosing 10 lbs. Kind of funny wanting to gain my 10lbs back by getting a 12 pack and bbq to reward myself for loosing it. Ha! Maybe I can just splurge and stop at del taco on the way and eat some junk for a change, and that can be my reward. When i'm full, I don't want to drink. Problem with that is when I finish the junk food, I might feel like "what the hell, i'm off the diet now, lets eat like a pig". With me it seems that it's all or nothing.


You said (Carly) that I like to exercise. I don't. My big spoiled dog makes me walk him, and I work out on a bowflex (weider) in an attempt to not fall apart. If I had my way, I would sit in front of the tv, read, eat sees candy and potato chips. I'm eating very clean now, and exercising, but i'm lazy by nature. One reason I have lost weight is because my wife is gone, as she keeps sweets around, and I eat it. Also, it's not her fault, as I just eat more with her here. She has depression, so it's not fair to her to try to keep it out of the house.


This has nothing to do with the price of tea in china, but I wonder why a person feels better, and more ennergetic when on a diet? It's not the weight loss so much as something goes on in your body while dieting that gives you more energy. Anyone know? Thanks Carly, Lee and saint. You guys help me!


Frank


PS. "So, you are working on the physical, one day soon maybe you will be ready to tackle the rest that comes with putting the disease into remission."


I think I know what you meant Carly, but could you explain a little more about that?
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Unread 11-23-2009, 02:31 PM   #112
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Frank,

You're killing me! How about for the final orgasm you have that gut bomb and ditch the beer. I love a hot steak and cheese subs. With mushrooms fo course. My wife has been on a diet for the last 5 months and has lost over 30 lbs. So she makes a huge batch of chip dip. It's like one part cream chease, one part crumbled blue cheese, one part blue cheese dressing, shredded chicken meat and several ounces of hot sauce. It's great but not great for you... well there's some chicken in there for protein.

She has about 5 chips and dip and I devour the rest. I've gained about 10 lbs since I stopped drinking - go figure.

Treat yourself to a good meal, food only!

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Unread 11-23-2009, 02:53 PM   #113
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Frank,

I refuse to be held accountable for any weight gain!

Here's the recipe :

Enjoy!



FRANK'S® REDHOT® BUFFALO CHICKEN DIP
Servings: 3 1/2 cups dip | Prep Time: 5 min. | Cook Time: 20 min.

http://rms.genuineinteractive.com/rm...s/lg_11060.jpg Owner/Copyright: RBI 2008
http://www.franksredhot.com/images/b...dtoafriend.gif
http://www.franksredhot.com/images/btn_printrecipe.gif INGREDIENTS: 8 oz. pkg. cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup blue cheese or ranch salad dressing
1/2 cup any flavor FRANK'S® REDHOT® Sauce
1/2 cup crumbled blue cheese or shredded mozzarella cheese
2 cans (9.75 oz. each) SWANSON® White Premium Chunk Chicken Breast in Water, drained
DIRECTIONS: HEAT oven to 350°F. Place cream cheese into deep baking dish. Stir until smooth.
MIX in salad dressing, Frank's RedHot Sauce and cheese. Stir in chicken.
BAKE 20 min. or until mixture is heated through; stir. Garnish as desired. Serve with crackers or vegetables.
TIPS:
Microwave Directions: Prepare as above. Place in microwave-safe dish. Microwave, uncovered, on HIGH 5 min. until hot, stirring halfway through cooking.
Tips: You may substitute 2 cups shredded cooked chicken.
Slow Cooker Method: Combine ingredients as directed above. Place mixture into small slow cooker. Cover pot. Heat on HIGH setting for 1 1/2 hours until hot and bubbly or on LOW setting for 2 1/2 to 3 hours. Stir.
Tailgating Tip: Prepare dip ahead and place in heavy disposable foil pan. Place pan on grill and heat dip until hot and bubbly.



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Unread 11-23-2009, 06:11 PM   #114
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Frank,

You're killing me! How about for the final orgasm you have that gut bomb and ditch the beer. I love a hot steak and cheese subs. With mushrooms fo course. My wife has been on a diet for the last 5 months and has lost over 30 lbs. So she makes a huge batch of chip dip. It's like one part cream chease, one part crumbled blue cheese, one part blue cheese dressing, shredded chicken meat and several ounces of hot sauce. It's great but not great for you... well there's some chicken in there for protein.

She has about 5 chips and dip and I devour the rest. I've gained about 10 lbs since I stopped drinking - go figure.

Treat yourself to a good meal, food only!

Regards
Hi Saint,

I gained a pound reading the ingredients in your dip. I did get your message. I bumped up the food intake today. That dip sounds realy good. I know that I will try it. Thanks,

Frank
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Unread 11-23-2009, 11:17 PM   #115
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Frank, Reward yourself by looking at youself in the mirror & seeing a sober man. Remember 1 day at a time. Sometimes it is 1 minute at a time. We all can get urges. It is what we choose to do with those urges. I chose to call someone or think through the drink.

For me to drink is to die. I choose at this moment to live as a sober man.
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Unread 11-24-2009, 09:09 PM   #116
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Hi Frank,
Ditto on the recipe - YUM !!

What I meant regarding taking care of yourself physically- it all involves making a lifestyle change with your diet, exercise etc... you will feel good, - get the endorphins going, hopefully curb the diabetes , Plus..
You had mentioned that you wanted to know reasons why you drink or explore any underlying issues surrounding alcohol. It sounds like you wanted to understand what your process is , example: when you were trying to find a professional to talk with , which is progress to me. To sum it up- one benefits the other,imo.

So, will your wife be home by T-giving ? Do you have friends to hang out with ?
( perhaps that do not drink ? )
Let us know if you get the urge to drink. OK ?

Hang in there Frank, take care, Carly : )
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Unread 11-27-2009, 11:40 PM   #117
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Hi Frank,

Happy Belated Thanksgiving ! Hope all is well with you. Carly : )
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Unread 11-28-2009, 03:05 PM   #118
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Hi Frank,

Happy Belated Thanksgiving ! Hope all is well with you. Carly : )
Thanks Carly. You are so nice! I had to go to the mom inlaws for t.g.

Wanting to figure out why I drink is correct. I'm even looking at resentments as (partly) reasons why I drink. I even read that (in a novel no less) normal folks have to drop their resentments, or their lives will never be right. That being said, I drank again.

Looks like i'm back where I started as in being a part time drinker, but still looking at this forum. At least until the superenedent (wife) gets back, or I get my s%%t togeather. Thanks very much for checking on me.

Frank
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Unread 11-28-2009, 04:52 PM   #119
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Hi Frank,

I posted on the resentment thread - resentments are tough and can be such a barrier to our goals. I learned early on, they will always justify a reason to misuse substances, always. You would be amazed what people can let go of, because we need to so that we can move on and live.

There is no timeline here, it takes what it takes, though I worry about your health and hope that you are ok.

Just remember, there are new treatments, various forms of support that can help you when you are ready.
I am not negating the fact that you are able to go long periods of time without alcohol. Though I worry that I am sugar coating things for you, at the same time, many ( including myself) took a lot of convincing, countless tries, before we put our alcoholism into remission.

You are here, you are asking great questions, and as Rlee would say " Keep coming back ! "

Take care , Carly : )
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Unread 11-28-2009, 08:49 PM   #120
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That is right Frank keep coming back. We all have the choice to drink or not to. Today I chose not to. Stay safe friend.
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Unread 11-29-2009, 08:21 AM   #121
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Frank,

What's going on Frank? You're only a part time drinker if you want to be and I get the sense you really don't want to be. No better time to jump on the wagon again than today. Good luck with things Frank - I'll be waiting to hear from you.

P.S. You can use leftover Turkey in lieu of chicken for that dip.

Take care
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Unread 12-06-2009, 04:57 PM   #122
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Hi Frank, how are you doing ? It has been a while since your last post.

Thinking of you... Take care of yourself ! Carly : )
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Unread 12-06-2009, 11:21 PM   #123
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Hi all,

Thanks very much for checking in on me. I'm still drinking, and don't really know what to say. I will be hanging out here, and maybe something will get through my hard head. You guys are tops.

Frank
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Unread 12-06-2009, 11:24 PM   #124
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Best of luck Frank. Keep checking in because you want what we have. I know you can do it 1 day at a time.
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Unread 12-07-2009, 04:49 PM   #125
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Frank,

Glad to hear you're hanging around. I've been wondering how you've been doing of late.

It sounded like you were definitely reaching out for assistance a while back, like you subconciously or conciously knew you would be reaching for that next drink ( the phone #, looking for a counselor). Anyways I'm glad to hear you're sticking around. Stay in touch Frank. Wishing you the best.

Regards
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Unread 12-07-2009, 09:21 PM   #126
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HiFrank,

Thanks for letting us know you are still around the forum. When /if you are want to talk about things, we'll be here for you.

Until then, please stay safe as possible as I know from your past experiences after you drink, it affects your health and it usually takes you a while to start feeling good again.
FWIW, it is probably your body telling you that you cannot handle the alcohol like you used to. just my opinion also based on what you have posted in the past. I just hate for you to continue going through this but I am not giving up on you. It takes what it takes, and maybe the recovery seed is germinating somewhere in the recesses of your mind....
- like Saint mentioned, you seem to have known subconsciously you would pick up. But you did try to seek help before that happened, that is progress and insight.

Well, I hope things are going as well as they can at home. again, thanks for checking in.
Hang in there, take care, Carly : )
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Last edited by CarlyO; 12-07-2009 at 09:27 PM..
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Unread 12-08-2009, 12:02 PM   #127
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Hi Guys,

Thanks for the nice words and very good advice. Carly, you always take time (time you probably don't have) to write long letters trying to help me. All you guys are trying to help me. I wish we lived close enough to take you all out to lunch. Your help is greatly appreciated. I read, and reread all of it over & over. Thanks!

Frank
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Unread 12-08-2009, 04:37 PM   #128
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Frank,

Hang in there Frank. It ain't over until it's over.

Saint
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Unread 12-08-2009, 10:20 PM   #129
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Thank you Frank. You help me stay sober.
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Unread 12-20-2009, 09:35 PM   #130
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Hi Frank,

Wow- where did this month go ? I looked at my last post to you and it was 13 days ago ! I read that you are presently not drinking, this is great news : )

How is it going ? I think I read where your MIL will be staying through the holidays. I hope all is well with you and your family. Ditto on Saint's post... Hang in There !
Take Care, Carly
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Unread 12-24-2009, 04:36 PM   #131
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Hi Frank,

Wow- where did this month go ? I looked at my last post to you and it was 13 days ago ! I read that you are presently not drinking, this is great news : )

How is it going ? I think I read where your MIL will be staying through the holidays. I hope all is well with you and your family. Ditto on Saint's post... Hang in There !
Take Care, Carly
Hi Carly,

Thanks for checking. I'm fine, and I hope you are too. Merry Xmas!

Frank
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Unread 12-25-2009, 07:37 AM   #132
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Hi Frank,
Glad you are well. I am enjoying a moment of quiet - everyone is still sleeping, even the dogs! Hope you have a very Happy Christmas ! Carly : )
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Unread 12-28-2009, 11:11 PM   #133
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Frank,

How have you been Frank? I hope you and your family had a good X mas together. New Year's is coming up quick, 2010 can you believe it? I was never big on the whole New Year's celebration thing so no big deal for me - I can take it or leave it. Any New Year's plans?

Well I went to the counselor today for the second time. I think of her as my 'mindbender'. I mean no disrespect to her or the profession - it's a reflection of me and my attitudes. The word popped in my head and I can't shake it.

Conversation turned to whether I had told my parents about my drinking problem. My response was why would I? My thought being why burden them with my problems? Her response - Why wouldn't you, that's what normal people do. I love her for that answer. She's telling me what I need to hear.

I was always the person that would help out but I would never, never ask for help from someone else. I always thought being strong meant doing it alone, working things out for yourself, by yourself. It's something I need to work on, hard.

Take care Frank - I look forward to hearing from you.

Peace
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Unread 12-29-2009, 11:42 AM   #134
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I'm so glad to be sober this time of day!

Saint, Way to move forward.
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Unread 12-29-2009, 11:48 AM   #135
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Lee,

Thanks - It's going to be a long road though, old dog - new tricks sort of thing.

One foot in front of the other - just need to make sure I stay on the right path!

Thanks again Lee

Peace
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Unread 12-29-2009, 04:17 PM   #136
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Frank,

How have you been Frank? I hope you and your family had a good X mas together. New Year's is coming up quick, 2010 can you believe it? I was never big on the whole New Year's celebration thing so no big deal for me - I can take it or leave it. Any New Year's plans?

Well I went to the counselor today for the second time. I think of her as my 'mindbender'. I mean no disrespect to her or the profession - it's a reflection of me and my attitudes. The word popped in my head and I can't shake it.

Conversation turned to whether I had told my parents about my drinking problem. My response was why would I? My thought being why burden them with my problems? Her response - Why wouldn't you, that's what normal people do. I love her for that answer. She's telling me what I need to hear.

I was always the person that would help out but I would never, never ask for help from someone else. I always thought being strong meant doing it alone, working things out for yourself, by yourself. It's something I need to work on, hard.

Take care Frank - I look forward to hearing from you.

Peace
Hi Saint,

Good to hear from you. The mind bender thing is so funny! I did tell my mom a good while back about my drinking, but she was the type to sort of beat you up about it at times when given a chance.

It seems we have a lot in common. I help, but won't ask for it in return. Then when it's not offered back when I really need it, I get pissed. Ha! I'm a lot like Lee in respect to judging people also. At least Lee gave it a minute to figure out if he likes you, but with me it was (is ?) a matter of seconds. I also have a very hard time asking for help as far as seeing a physiologist. Just can't seem to press myself to do that, or go to meetings.

As far as new years, I feel about the same as you now. In the past before I got married, it was a big deal to go to a bar where my friends had a band, and party most all night. Now it's no big deal. If i'm up i'll watch the ball drop in n.y. This year I will be sober, but i'm not sure how much of that is my will power (probably none) as my mom in law will be here with us. Don't much feel like drinking with the mother in law here.

Hope xmas wasn't too hard on the two of you. Sounds like you came out unscaved, or not too bad anyway. Xmas is a hard time for a lot of folks if things aren't going right. Hope things are going a little better for Saint.

Frank
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Unread 12-29-2009, 05:05 PM   #137
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Keep up the work staying sober Frank. We have a choice today as before we had none.
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Unread 12-29-2009, 09:15 PM   #138
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Keep up the work staying sober Frank. We have a choice today as before we had none.
Thanks Lee.

Frank
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Unread 01-11-2010, 12:55 AM   #139
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Frank,

What's going on Frank? Enquiring minds want to know(and care how you're doing)!

Regards
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Unread 01-12-2010, 01:28 AM   #140
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Frankie,

Most of the folks on this site will deal with you on a social level.

After drinking heavily for 30 years on a daily basis, none of the social eulogies ever worked for me. Most of the time I was drunk while attending hundreds of AA Meetings. I even received a number of milestone chips while drunk.

Bottom Line: All these groups, including AA, profess that Alcoholism is a disease, but they offer nothing other than platitudes and unending discussion to "cure" this disease. If alcoholism is a disease, where is the medical remedy?

Please see my previous posts:
http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...ad.php?t=23367

Over the past 6-year period, my experience has provided two learnings. The groups attempting to discourage you from the use alcoholism by talking you to death are worthless. This may be helpful for those not fully addicted to alcohol. For those with a real alcohol dependence, these people might as well be speaking a foreign language for the benefit they bring to the addicted alcoholic.

The fact these people have yet to realize is that the alcohol-dependent person is not able to stop drinking through any rational means. This function has been usurped by the re-wiring of the brain chemistry years of alcohol abuse.

Until recently there has been no effective solution to this problem ... until now! I am happy to report that Baclofen has enabled me to stop using alcohol. My trigger time is between 15:00 to 18:00. Taking 60mg of Baclofen within one day overcomes my urges to consume alcohol. Starting at 11:00, I take 20mg every two hours.

Please know that the information above is provided for your consideration only. You are the only one who will determine your course of treatment for your addiction to alcohol. I only hope that you can use my information for your own benefit.
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Unread 01-15-2010, 01:02 AM   #141
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Frank,

I hope you are doing well.

I read something the other day I wanted to share. It mentioned removing alcohol from the mental list of beverages we can consume and instead to think of it as a poison. It's not an earth shattering remark but it helped me make a little mental shift in the way I thought of beer and other types of alcohol.

Stay strong Frank.

Saint
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Unread 01-15-2010, 03:36 PM   #142
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Originally Posted by Saint View Post
Frank,

What's going on Frank? Enquiring minds want to know(and care how you're doing)!

Regards
Hi Saint,

Thanks for checking on me. I'm still drinking, but I still check out the forum, and I'm not drinking now, but that doesn't mean anything. I didn't even know you posted. Guess I haven't checked enough.

The thing about beer should be on the poison list is true, but folks without drinking problems wouldn't agree. I wonder how many people have become alcholics because they found out that one or two drinks per day are good for you, and jumped it up to 10? The poison thing is in my mind. Thanks for that.

My wife started drinking a glass of wine per day a while back. I talked her out of it. If folks don't drink, they shouldn't start.

How are things going for you? I know there are good days, and bad ones, but are things any easier?

Frank
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Unread 01-15-2010, 04:01 PM   #143
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rambyte View Post
Frankie,

Most of the folks on this site will deal with you on a social level.

After drinking heavily for 30 years on a daily basis, none of the social eulogies ever worked for me. Most of the time I was drunk while attending hundreds of AA Meetings. I even received a number of milestone chips while drunk.

Bottom Line: All these groups, including AA, profess that Alcoholism is a disease, but they offer nothing other than platitudes and unending discussion to "cure" this disease. If alcoholism is a disease, where is the medical remedy?

Please see my previous posts:
http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...ad.php?t=23367

Over the past 6-year period, my experience has provided two learnings. The groups attempting to discourage you from the use alcoholism by talking you to death are worthless. This may be helpful for those not fully addicted to alcohol. For those with a real alcohol dependence, these people might as well be speaking a foreign language for the benefit they bring to the addicted alcoholic.

The fact these people have yet to realize is that the alcohol-dependent person is not able to stop drinking through any rational means. This function has been usurped by the re-wiring of the brain chemistry years of alcohol abuse.

Until recently there has been no effective solution to this problem ... until now! I am happy to report that Baclofen has enabled me to stop using alcohol. My trigger time is between 15:00 to 18:00. Taking 60mg of Baclofen within one day overcomes my urges to consume alcohol. Starting at 11:00, I take 20mg every two hours.

Please know that the information above is provided for your consideration only. You are the only one who will determine your course of treatment for your addiction to alcohol. I only hope that you can use my information for your own benefit.
Hi Rambyte,

Thanks for your story and advice. I'm wondering if it (baclofen) would help someone that is too hard headed to go to meetings, and seek help etc? I tried antabuse (can't spell) back in the 80s when I was a daily drinker, but I was alergic to it. The only reason I don't drink every day now is because my health won't hold up.

Going to meetings was very hard for me as I don't believe there is a god to help me, and if you don't have that higher power, your sol. Thats faecal matter out of luck. Hows that for keeping it clean? Ha! The getting chips while being drunk was funny. Thanks RB.

Frank
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Unread 01-19-2010, 10:30 AM   #144
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Frank,

It's good know you are still hanging around, catching up once in a while. So you're still drinking occasionally..... well that's your decision Frank, it is what it is. Do you know why you keep going back? I drank every day so the hardest thing for me was just stopping. I would tell myself today would be the last day..... well that went on for quite a while until I finally stopped. It was hard but I'm glad I stopped drinking and finally starting to feel better about myself despite everything that is going on in my life right now. As the others have mentioned the alcohol would only have made dealing with the divorce that much harder for all involved.

Last Friay I went skiing with my daughter. It's a school related ski program.

I broke the binding on my ski - can't fix, need new one - $$$$

Daughter and I were chatting it up on the way home, I wasn't paying attention, got pulled over for speeding (first time in well over 20 years)-$$$$$

Got lost

Late for an appointment because of speeding ticket and getting lost.

Appointment was to meet with a marital mediator to split up our assets. Almost 24 years of marriage, everything split up in 2.5 hours.

I was in a foul mood at the end of the day but it was a good day, I didn't drink. Sure, I could have but I didn't. In the past anytime I was upset or frustrated the first thing I would reach for was a cold beer to 'unwind'. I didn't reach for that beer because it's not the right thing for me to do.

So to answer your question Frank, things are getting easier for me. I also don't want to forget who I am. An Alcoholic. It's not all of who I am but it is a part of me. I find I need to remind myself that I am an alcoholic lest I pick up 'just one drink'. This forum, 'helps me stay sober', as Lee puts it. It reminds me of who I am.

I wish you the best Frank, stick around.

Peace
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Unread 01-20-2010, 12:15 PM   #145
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Saint,
Thanks for relating an example of real time every day sobriety. We don't live in a vacuum.
We are given the range of specific concepts, ideas, and tools. We can talk about addiction and recovery from a certain distance. One can, just not drink, and that might be enough. And there is an art to building, maintaining and living a recovered life.

And I see you bringing that lesson in your story. Certainly it took some a bit of effort to get through that day, that was a rough one, in that there was loss and grieving. But none if it was so new or so alien you couldn't find a way to resolve it, and not drink. You accepted these expressions of your life however painful.

The beauty of the mundane. The every day attention to order and commitment in the face of chaos and serendipity. And the struggle we all face in caring for it with ever greater competence, graciousness and patience.
Using is an effort to remove ourselves from the life, however briefly. Many folks may use in safety, 1-2 drinks in an evening, along with a conversation or some other activity. But they are consuming a mind/mood altering substance with that purpose in mind. And ideally they use in sparse patterns often secondary focus to some social event that may be an expression of their full life, friends, family.
What happens when the relationship flip flops? Using becomes the focus of the social gathering. And eventually the social aspect becomes a threat or impediment to the drinking which leads to increased isolated drinking, and a removal from their fuller life.

Therefore recovery renews and re-engages! May I say that ecovery is not meant to directly make life better, if your definition of better is closer to easier. It is meant to get one to the best position in the best condition to make it better!

You sound to be in a far better position and in good condition.
And I wish you the best as you deal with the sadness around your marriage.
Glad to hear you are keeping sober.
Frank, there is higher power stuff in Saint's post.
Anyway, thanks, I enjoyed your post and I just wanted to say that.

Jerry
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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Unread 01-22-2010, 11:44 PM   #146
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Jerry,

Thank you. I truly enjoy your posts. I find at times they quiet what is restless in my spirit or soul. They tend to leave me feeling grounded and at peace. Thank you for your thoughts and the manner in which you convey them - they make a difference for me.

I am at a loss regarding the 'higher power stuff' in my post. I am blind because I cannot see. If you would light the path I would be grateful.


Regards
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Unread 01-23-2010, 12:46 AM   #147
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Originally Posted by Saint View Post
Frank,

It's good know you are still hanging around, catching up once in a while. So you're still drinking occasionally..... well that's your decision Frank, it is what it is. Do you know why you keep going back? I drank every day so the hardest thing for me was just stopping. I would tell myself today would be the last day..... well that went on for quite a while until I finally stopped. It was hard but I'm glad I stopped drinking and finally starting to feel better about myself despite everything that is going on in my life right now. As the others have mentioned the alcohol would only have made dealing with the divorce that much harder for all involved.

Last Friay I went skiing with my daughter. It's a school related ski program.

I broke the binding on my ski - can't fix, need new one - $$$$

Daughter and I were chatting it up on the way home, I wasn't paying attention, got pulled over for speeding (first time in well over 20 years)-$$$$$

Got lost

Late for an appointment because of speeding ticket and getting lost.

Appointment was to meet with a marital mediator to split up our assets. Almost 24 years of marriage, everything split up in 2.5 hours.

I was in a foul mood at the end of the day but it was a good day, I didn't drink. Sure, I could have but I didn't. In the past anytime I was upset or frustrated the first thing I would reach for was a cold beer to 'unwind'. I didn't reach for that beer because it's not the right thing for me to do.

So to answer your question Frank, things are getting easier for me. I also don't want to forget who I am. An Alcoholic. It's not all of who I am but it is a part of me. I find I need to remind myself that I am an alcoholic lest I pick up 'just one drink'. This forum, 'helps me stay sober', as Lee puts it. It reminds me of who I am.

I wish you the best Frank, stick around.

Peace
Hi Saint,

Been in san diego for about a week, and just now can respond.

First, i'm glad things are going ok for you with what you are going through. Your story of what happened to you is so very funny, but not for you. Sounds a little like meet the fockers. Sorry about the bad stuff.

As far as drinking over bad things, i'm just not sure I do that. When my mom died, drinking was the last thing on my mind for (I don't remember, 2 wks, 4 wks., more?) a while. I can remember bidding on jobs, and getting nervous, and thinking about picking up a 12 pack while talking to people who I was selling the job to. Something about that would make me want to drink.

I was told along time ago that it's the little things that make us want to drink. In my case, when I feel like drinking (for no apparent reason) I just drink knowing it's hurting me. Smart huh.

Carly, if your reading this I want to say hi. Saint, sounds like your doing very good, and thanks for your words. I haven't been drinking, but to be honest, I probably will with football this sunday. Maybe not. Jerry; I don't have a higher power. Just not religulous. Tried very hard to in the past reading the big book, and doing the steps, and going to meetings every night, but couldn't do it.

Frank
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Unread 01-24-2010, 05:06 PM   #148
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Hi Frank,

I have been wondering how you are doing, I did not want to nag you to the point that you got fed up with me.
I went back and re read some of your older posts, as you only reveal little bits at a time. I guess we all were like that at some point ; )

I wonder - if possibly you are drinking less amounts and less often, that would be progress, imo, How do you feel ? Both your physical well being and all of that other, umm , ya know feeling stuff ?

Please do not place so much importance on the Higher power stuff, I just do not think it is the end all be all, the deciding factor , in how people will do, as I have known so many who had no connection and are able to live fulfilling lives without alcohol.
Thanks for updates, would love to hear how you are doing, what you are thinking etc...
Take care Frank, Carly : )
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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Unread 01-24-2010, 09:42 PM   #149
R. Lee
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Take care of yourself Frank. Now I'm going back to the Nawlins & Vikings 2nd half. So far I have not had the urge to drink.
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Unread 01-25-2010, 12:42 AM   #150
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Frank, How did you like the games?
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