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Unread 04-24-2015, 11:15 AM   #51
iamtrying
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Awesome Catfish...congrats on 5 days...you will be amazed how good you will look when you stop drinking...I have lost belly fat, face looks good , ..most importantly, feel good...

I have had instances on FB conversations...which went wrong because I was drunk...did damage control but i was really tired of that..well i cannot change those,..i let go...and move on...

..stay in today, don't ponder on past and don't think much about future...Just one day at a time..

Have a great day friend....
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Unread 04-24-2015, 11:17 AM   #52
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I think something just funny came to my mind...the screw ups on facebooks, whatsapp etc..when you are drunk can be called...

DRUNK 2.0


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Unread 04-24-2015, 12:07 PM   #53
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Haha! Drunk 2.0! I love it!

Yes, when I did a ten month sober stint a couple of years ago I looked amazing. I came across a photo a few months ago and burst into tears because I looked so well in it. It was a worthwhile experience because I proved to myself beyond a doubt that no length of time away from the booze will allow me to be a 'normal' drinker.

I can't remember which book it was in - perhaps Allen Carr or Jason Vale - but they said something along the lines of: "If a person announced to you that they used to eat far too many bananas but now only eat two or three a week, or only eat bananas at special occasions, would you think that person had a healthy relationship with bananas?" I think that was the moment that I realised controlling it would never work for me, but I still hadn't had enough to drink at that point.

Wishing you a wonderful day, Iamtrying. Thank you for your encouragement and support. xxxx
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Unread 04-24-2015, 01:02 PM   #54
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Catfish,Keep those pictures out for motivation.
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Unread 04-25-2015, 06:08 AM   #55
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Day six and I have woken up feeling relatively well.

I wish everyone a peaceful and positive day! Xxxx
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Unread 04-25-2015, 10:07 AM   #56
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Catfish, Congratulations on 6 days sober.
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Unread 04-25-2015, 12:29 PM   #57
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Hey Catfish,

Day 6, huh?

Way past cool!

best,

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Unread 04-25-2015, 12:34 PM   #58
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Catfish,

The worst is over! Do some reading about PAWS, just so you'll be prepared. Occasionally, we experience unpleasant side effects from Post Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome. It is only occasionally, and if you know what to expect, it doesn't throw you for a loop!

Congratulations! You did it! Now, like Iamtrying, count the days. "Remembering, One day at a time, I am responsible for my actions and their consequences, think thru the first drink and urge....relax and easy..."

We are with you!

Love, Susie
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Unread 04-25-2015, 01:03 PM   #59
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Thank you, R. lee and Sam.

That was such a useful recommendation Susie, thank you! I just did some reading on it. I remember about six months into one sober stint having an awful couple of days and not knowing why. I will remember about PAWS.

I had my first 'drink dream' last night. You know the ones where you've just had a drink and then remember you're sober and beat yourself up about it, and then wake up full of relief because it was just a dream? Yeah, that!

My Dad quit smoking about 25 years ago and still sometimes has cigarette dreams to this day. If I remember rightly they start to get less frequent after the first few weeks. I hope they do, although it's nice to wake up and go, "Ha! That wasn't real!"
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Unread 04-25-2015, 10:31 PM   #60
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Absolutely!
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Unread 04-26-2015, 09:26 AM   #61
Catfish
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Day seven!!
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Unread 04-26-2015, 09:49 AM   #62
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Yay! congrats on day 7
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Unread 04-26-2015, 10:56 AM   #63
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Way to go on 7 days of sobriety Catfish. We can do this together.
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Unread 04-26-2015, 11:08 AM   #64
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Yes we can, R. Lee. It is so supportive here.
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Unread 04-26-2015, 12:11 PM   #65
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Catfish,

Your success is our success! You help us stay sober!

Thanks, Susie
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Unread 04-26-2015, 03:49 PM   #66
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Way to go Catfish! That is quite an accomplishment. One day at a time..Sending a big hug for congrats!
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Unread 04-26-2015, 07:56 PM   #67
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Good evening Catfish. Bright blessings to you.

I do apologise i havent been able to catch up with you until now.

I can not tell you how welcome you are and while i am at it, thank you for helping me along my way! You got right into the swing of things!

Congrats, (i would like to say "well done", but somehow that seems patronising!), well done Catfish. It is tempting to focus on the days, 1 day at a time they stack up, as does the well being that goes with it.

As R Lee says, "together we go"

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you Catfish
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Unread 04-27-2015, 05:39 AM   #68
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Thanks Susie, Lostdog, Tryn. Today is day eight, and I've woken up feeling pretty low after a nice bout of insomnia. I think I finally got to sleep at about 3am. I'm reminding myself though that I slept straight through regardless of how long it took me to get to sleep, and I've also woken up without a hangover.

Unfortunately no one can feel great every day though, and this doesn't have to be an excuse to drink!

As ever, I'm so grateful for this wonderful place. Xxxx
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Unread 04-27-2015, 05:40 AM   #69
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PS. Tryn, you could never sound patronising to me. I am so grateful for your encouragement.
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Unread 04-27-2015, 08:27 AM   #70
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Hi Catfish!

Well done on seven days, going into 8. One day at a time we do this together. You mentioned drinking dreams, I didn't have a drinking dream last night but a dream about my brother. He had a liver transplant a few years ago as a result of his drinking and he stayed sober for about a year after, and since that time he has pretty much been drinking nonstop.

In my dream, his eyes were all red and he didn't look like himself at all. He said he had given up and would be 'gone' in about 2 months. Recently he has expressed a desire to get sober, but then within a couple of days he called me and was very obviously drunk but lied to me about his drinking - again. My heart is heavy for him and I continue to pray for him, but I cannot get him sober. He will be 47 tomorrow. All we have is today, and I am grateful that I woke up this morning and can work on being sober for one more day! Take care! Jenm
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Unread 04-27-2015, 08:47 AM   #71
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Oh Jen, I'm so sorry that your brother is battling so much. That must be incredibly difficult for you to see. My father has been a functioning alcoholic for about 50 years, and gets by by heavily moderating his behaviour, setting start times and limits on amount, but it's still incredibly hard to watch. I really do feel for you and have so much love and admiration for you. All we can do is take one day at a time and be here for each other.

Strength and positivity to you, and thoughts for your dear brother. Xxxx
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Unread 04-27-2015, 09:31 AM   #72
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Stay strong Jenm.
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Unread 04-27-2015, 10:17 AM   #73
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Awesome work on day-8 keep it going...for me counting is reward...good job catfish...

I have had dreams of drinking, several of them...initially there were many...I think our subconscious mind misses what it used to have, it creates this facade for itself...but it is part of getting rid of what it is used to and adapting to new norm. When i woke up it was such a relief that it was only a dream...Again, this is just my theory...no proof.

Have a great day friend...stay strong and stay sober..
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Unread 04-27-2015, 10:25 AM   #74
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I agree with iamtrying about the dreams. Catfish, I am so proud of you. Keep it up! Jenm, et al, please add my son to your prayers. Thanks, Susie
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Unread 04-27-2015, 11:15 AM   #75
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Catfish,

Congrats on 8 days sober. Keep supporting others here. It keeps us outside of ourselves and helps us stay sober. You're doing great !!!

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Unread 04-27-2015, 12:35 PM   #76
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You know, IAT, I've started to think of these dreams as a blessing, because when I wake up I feel so proud that it wasn't real, and that I've woken up to a new day. Also, I think my mind is doing me a favour and keeping me on my toes. My fear of alcohol is now so crippling and I don't want to forget that fear and become complacent like I have in the past.

Susie, Saint, thank you so much, and Susie of course I will add your boy to my prayers list. Sending you strength to help you and him get through this. Xxxx
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Unread 04-27-2015, 10:22 PM   #77
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Catfish, (what a unique name you have assigned yourself); I am checking in tonight and have not read any posts from you prior to what I read tonight. I want to say that I welcome all your posts and that I care for your sobriety and your well-being. My name is Diane. I came to this web site when I recognized that I was abusing alcohol. I feel grateful for each person who has responded to me as I posted parts of my journey. All I can say here is that I care...
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Unread 04-28-2015, 08:42 AM   #78
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Hi Diane Yes, I'm quite new here but have seen some of your previous posts and it's lovely to meet you 'in person'! I'm Catfish because I have cats and fish. I have a dog, too, but Catfishdog didn't seem such a good name. Also Catfish are awesome fish. Haha!

So, today is day nine!

I hope everyone is having as positive a day as I'm having. I had an urge to drink earlier but my fear was stronger, and I was able to turn the urge into a resolution not to drink today, so I will continue to take it one day at a time. I'm not having fun with the physical withdrawal. My stomach is still very upset and I'm hoping I haven't caused permanent damage.
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Unread 04-28-2015, 09:29 AM   #79
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Way to go Catfish.
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Unread 04-28-2015, 10:53 AM   #80
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You may want a checkup with the Dr. to see if you have damage or other problems. We are so proud of you! It is a daunting task. But the worst is over!
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Unread 04-28-2015, 01:06 PM   #81
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Thanks R. Lee. I'm really loathe to go to the doctor, Susie. I had a bad experience with them fairly recently where I was given a psychiatric evaluation when I went to see them about PMS, and it was not at all fun. (Have been through the mental health system etc etc etc, but I didn't appreciate being treated like I needed a straight jacket when I was asking them about my hormones!) xxxx
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Unread 04-28-2015, 01:42 PM   #82
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Hi Catfish,

It's great to see you being so positive! Keep it up! It helps us all.
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Unread 04-28-2015, 06:23 PM   #83
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Good evening Catfishdog. Bright blessings to you.

You have a very good and fine head on your shoulders, do not let anyone persuade you, you have not.

I think a common a thread amongst all of my brothers and sisters here is a real desire to grasp our nettle and move forward, however challenging, in a way that works for us.

Having been so incredibly lucky to have met you all my journey.......that infact is the best part of recovery.....the people in it.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you Catfish + dog.
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Unread 04-29-2015, 12:12 AM   #84
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Catfish,

I hear you. No wonder we all have high blood pressure when we walk into those clinics!
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Unread 04-29-2015, 12:14 AM   #85
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We will try to take up the slack. I just always worry about each of us having a safety net since we cannot always get instant gratification here. We all need a person, if possible, that we can be truthful with when we can't reach someone here.
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Unread 04-29-2015, 07:56 AM   #86
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For me, right now, having this place is just fine. I do have a couple of very supportive people in real life, too, but I can't tell you how much I value the support of everyone here. When I've had a thought about wine, I always find myself thinking "If I pick up that drink I will have to come clean to my friends at Addiction Survivors. I want to do this with and for them."

Maybe that's silly, but I genuinely find this place so much more helpful than any group I've ever attended. xxxx
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Unread 04-29-2015, 08:07 AM   #87
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Good afternoon Catfish. Bright blessings to you.

I was reading your post and thought this says "1 day at a time". There is such alot of positive energy about you. It will stand you in good stead.

I could not agree with you more Re this family. As i see folk here as my fellow brothers and sisters is not just symantics, i really believe and feel that. That being the case you are all an integral part of my daily life.

It is so wonderful to have a place of rest and peace. When turmoil accompanys us on our way sometimes, to share, to be able to do what i did last night on R Lees thread, and simply ask for a hug from those you admire and respect for what they have done themselves, for me, and for others, to get that hug, i mean....gosh.....what an incredible lot Addictions Survivors are.

To find courage and compassion in 1 place, truly inspiring.

What i am learning here is that i am beginning to find myself in this splendid world. I am recognising my limitations, my strengths and my worrys. All of them i am honoured to share with you, and all my brothers and sisters in this multifarious and extraordinary family.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you Catfish + Dog.
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Unread 04-29-2015, 09:53 AM   #88
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Thank you Tryn. Sometimes the positivity is me trying to convince myself, and I'm sure you know what I mean by that. It's hard NOT to feel positive in this forum though. I can come here thinking about woe and am immediately lifted by others here. It's a truly wonderful place, and you are a truly wonderful man.

Where am I at now? Day nine! And today, well, I DO feel positive! xxx
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Unread 04-29-2015, 11:10 AM   #89
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Catfish -- great going DAY-9 proud of you....thank you ...you help me to stay sober.
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Unread 04-29-2015, 12:23 PM   #90
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Catfish, how wonderful that you at the point where you can be positive. Yes, there are ups and downs, but the worst is behind you now. Congratulations! We are all celebrating for you.

Love, Susie
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Unread 04-29-2015, 01:03 PM   #91
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Catfish,

Great job thinking through that first drink. That's how it's done! Sobriety 101! Yes sometimes it is a struggle to stay positive but as I read once; if we look for poop we will find it! Continue to look for the positive, they are there. The miracle and beauty of life is all around us, all the time. We just need to stop and admire!

Good work Catfish!!

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Unread 04-29-2015, 02:22 PM   #92
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Nicely done, Catfish.
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Unread 04-29-2015, 04:48 PM   #93
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enjoying your positive outlook and support, I hope you are doing well today.
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Unread 04-30-2015, 06:09 AM   #94
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Thank you so much everybody. Saint, that reminds me of that saying: "You can't polish sh*t." My reply is always: "You can if it's fossilised, but it's still just polished sh*t."

Today is day ten. I'm reminded of the fact that heavy drinkers often have alcohol in their blood for 7-10 days after cessation, meaning that today could in theory be my first day of completely renewed blood. It's a nice feeling.

It's a lovely day in London. I just wish I'd had a bit more sleep and could enjoy it to the fullest!

I hope you all have a wonderful day. Xxxx
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Unread 04-30-2015, 09:16 AM   #95
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Catfish,

I am so happy for you. You are well on your way. We travel this road together!

Susie
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Unread 04-30-2015, 10:09 AM   #96
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Catfish, You are on your way. Congratulations on 10 days of sobriety. One day at a time & thinking through that 1st drink.
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Unread 04-30-2015, 02:05 PM   #97
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Good evening Catfish. Bright blessings to you.

I just want to put my arm around you like all have here in saying, congrats Catfish, 1 day at a time.

Good grief.....you are in Londinium? How marvellous. My spiritual home. .......(at least i'm sure that's where i saw it last)

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you Catfish + Dog.
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Unread 04-30-2015, 06:36 PM   #98
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Hi Catfish!

I am so excited to read that you have 10 days put together without taking a drink! That is AWESOME! Love, Crazy Cat Lady Jen
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Unread 04-30-2015, 07:56 PM   #99
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Hey Catfish,

Yep, awesome indeed. 10 sober days? Oh yeah, Way Past Cool!

Good, good, very damn good for you, Ms. Catfish!

Stay with it, kid. Be good to you; be kind to you. And respect the wonderful progress you are making!

best,

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Unread 05-01-2015, 06:15 AM   #100
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Thank you, thank you, thank you everybody! I'm so glad to have such lovely friends to do this with.

Tryn, indeed! Norf London to be precise, although I'm trying to move away. I used to love it here but it's becoming progressively more ghettoised, and whoever gets in at the election I can't see the Tories' work being undone. It's a real crying shame. Xxx
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