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Unread 11-06-2013, 10:57 AM   #101
gmasusie
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Thanks for asking Michael. Things are not good. My best friend's brother died last week. I saw people at the funeral I had not seen in years. They all look old, so I must too! Feeling really depressed, drinking too much again. I need to get involved in something useful, but I can't seem to pull myself out of the doldrums. We are getting ready to drive RV to Alabama to see my daughter and grandchildren. That's good because I don't drink as much when we travel. We will be gone until after Dec. 1. Then I have some serious decisions to make that I keep putting off.
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Unread 11-06-2013, 11:29 AM   #102
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gmasusie, Try not drinking today'

Look on the brighter side of life. You have RV & able to travel to see family. Many alcoholics have given away their families & material things due to their drinking.

Controlled drinking sucks. You know you have a problem when it comes to alcohol. It is your choice to do something about it.
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Unread 11-06-2013, 01:36 PM   #103
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I know you are right.
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Unread 11-06-2013, 04:16 PM   #104
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gmasusie View Post
I know you are right.

Just give yourself a chance. You can do it. We all have been where you are right now. Make staying sober the most important thing in your life.
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Unread 11-07-2013, 09:51 AM   #105
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Hi GmaSusie!

I'm sorry things have been tough lately. They will continue to get tougher as you continue to drink. It seems as though you keep putting off working on sobriety - I am not trying to be harsh, just my observation. As soon as this company leaves the house, or as soon as I get finished with my travels, or whatever. Please try to be grateful for what you have, as many don't. You have a supportive family and as Lee mentioned the ability to travel in an RV to visit family. You are alive and able to move about your day and have a computer in which you can post. It is really easy to fall into a rut, I know because I do it! Especially when you add in the depressant of alcohol, knowing that you have a problem but not wanting to give up the alcohol. If you are like me, you are good at justifying it in your head when you pour that glass of wine (or whatever). "Just for today" or "Just 3 glasses because I deserve it" or "I've had a rough time lately so this will help" or the other fifty million things we say to ourselves to justify our drinking.

Alcoholism is a progressive disease. It always gets worse, never better. Just read some of the stories around here, or in lots of other places on the internet there are stories everywhere. I have never seen one story in which the person who struggles with alcohol addiction has ever gotten better as a result of continuing to drink more. I think you mentioned before that you have children that struggle with drinking. Imagine the ripple effect that you would have if you were to get sober, imagine the example that you would set for the people that you love the most. Most importantly, getting sober would set you free - free from that constant 'feeling' that we alcoholics have when in active addiction. It is hard to explain, but I can best describe it as a "sense of impending doom". Nothing very horrible happened in my drinking career - I had a DUI at the age of 21 and an assault charge for a bar fight, also in my early 20's. However, I completely lost my sense of self, my positive demeanor, my ability to be grateful, it was all about survival.

Do I have it perfect today? Nope. I'm still a single mom of 3 boys, working 2 part-time jobs trying to find something in my field full-time. I still struggle to get the bills paid and current and I'm in a large amount of debt with student loans and other obligations. I've been raising my boys by myself for 12 years and sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed that I don't have a clue what to do. But you know what? I am absolutely and completely grateful. We have a home. I have a car. I have two part time jobs. I am healthy and able to do the best that I can for my boys. I have two fat cats that want food all the time too. I don't care about things and I don't care about money. Sure I need it to pay the bills, etc, but I really don't care about it. I care about life, about my sons, about laughing and really being true to my soul. I only get one chance at this, and time is moving on. I spent a lot of years drinking and being in the pit of that indescribable pain. I don't have to live like that anymore and neither do you. Stop the excuses if you want to be free.

Sorry I rambled on, but it just came from my heart this morning. I hope you have a wonderful day and I hope that we hear from you soon! Take care! Jenm
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Unread 11-07-2013, 11:00 AM   #106
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gmasusie,

Lee and Jenn have said it all. Continue to think about sobriety. Seek out support and make a plan of action. Remember, you don't have to live like this.

Regards,
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Unread 11-07-2013, 11:30 AM   #107
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Thanks to all.
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Unread 11-07-2013, 06:10 PM   #108
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Susie, I am so sorry to hear that things are getting worse for you, but as Jen said, they will. Don't be like me and hit rock bottom over and over again before you quit drinking. The last time I drank, I barely made it out alive. It's just not worth it. You can do this Susie! We believe in you! Keep posting and let us know how things are going. Blessings!

Michael
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Unread 11-07-2013, 07:16 PM   #109
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gmasusie, You can do it. Give yourself a chance.
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Unread 11-21-2013, 01:04 AM   #110
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Hello gmasusie, I thought of you this week and wondered how you are doing. I agree with Lee... give yourself a chance to see what life has to offer, unclouded and fulfilled, without the pain associated with alcohol. You are worth it!!!!

Blessings - rix
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Unread 11-21-2013, 09:25 AM   #111
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I agree with RIX, gmasusie! I miss hearing from you and hope that you are well. Please check in and let us know how you are doing! Take care, Jenm
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Unread 11-21-2013, 01:34 PM   #112
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Hello gmasusie, bright blessings to you.

I have been reading all the cracking advice that has been offered and i would like to run this past you, it worked for me.

If you are in a place where "never drinking" again seems too big, try this. Say to yourself that you can carry on drinking for the rest of your life should you choose, BUT, say to yourself that for, hmmm, say 2 weeks? you will go without a drink, (if it is safe to do so, talk to your Dr about that). Although i desperately wanted to stop, never drinking again just seemed impossible. So i said to myself that i would drink forever but i wanted to know what it was like to be sober. I thought once i knew that, i could just crack on drinking my life away. I decided to take that chance that R Lee speaks of.

I stopped and after a few days i thought, "i rather like this". Sure i found it quite challenging, but i knew it would not last long before i could permit myself to drink again. By taking that chance and wondering what it was like allowed me to see that my drinking was a "plaster" that i was putting on my hurt. Trouble is my hurt was always still there. In my couple of weeks without drinking i realised this and also realised that to stay stopped, (which is what i wanted) i needed help and support. Your local AA, or local treament centre will have a support group. I sought these things out because by taking a chance to see what sobriety was all about, i knew as soon as i had dried out, that drinking would kill me. My friend it is an awful, awful death.

Soooo, here i am, a raging alcoholic who is choosing not to drink today. The only reason why i have that choice is because this forum supported me to take that chance. I owe them my life, and a beautiful and wonderful life it is. It's a hard life, but now i love my fingers and my toes, now i can look at my reflection, now i can forgive myself for all the trouble i have caused, now i am getting better just 1 day at a time.

You can do this gmasusie, sure you can.

Be peaceful and be strong. Loveness to you.

Tryn
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Unread 11-21-2013, 10:42 PM   #113
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Amazing post Tryn!! Truly good advice in my opinion.
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Unread 11-22-2013, 01:17 PM   #114
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Tryn, Thank you for helping the alcoholic who is still out there drinking.
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Unread 11-24-2013, 11:16 AM   #115
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Hello gmasusie, bright blessings to you.

Just a quick hug. How are you?.......whats a happenin for you?" Just to let you know we won't go away!! We care about you. Unfold your journey in your own way, but this is the place where you can get it all of your chest, open, for here no one will judge. (Infact we all sit with our worlds going...."yup.....know what you mean!", that is the strength of this family. We have been there. We can help.

Drop us a line and let us know how things are for you.

Be peaceful and be strong. Loveness to you gmasusie
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Unread 11-27-2013, 01:27 PM   #116
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I'm OK. We've been on the road since the 16th. Staying in state parks with no wifi, but deer, turkeys, bluebirds, raccoons, etc. We are in Mobile today. We leave for a hunting camp Thanksgiving: again no wifi probably until we return to New Mexico around Dec. 9. I still drinking, but much less, only evenings now. I'll be in touch in a week or so. Thanks, everyone, for asking and for not giving up on me.

Love, Susie
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Unread 11-27-2013, 08:16 PM   #117
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Susie, Have fun & be careful on your trip.
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Unread 11-28-2013, 03:25 PM   #118
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Hello Susie.

I can not imagine how exciting that all must be!! If i see a squirrel here in England.........i leg it!!!

Take the very best of care, and maybe try and get a sense of the serinity around you. If you can, i can tell you it is also within you.

Have a great time and let us know how you got on.

Be peaceful and be strong. Loveness to you Susie.
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Unread 03-02-2014, 05:38 PM   #119
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Hello Susie. Bright blessings to you.

Thank you for my birthday wishes, although you said something about not being quite there yet?

Anything you want to talk about?

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you Susie.
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Unread 03-03-2014, 11:49 AM   #120
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Dear Tryn,

I am ashamed when I reread what I wrote for your birthday. I forget how much alcohol affects our lives. I think that alcohol dissipates in cooking, but I believe that alcohol also influenced how insensitive it was for me to use a wine sauce to celebrate your birthday!

I know my whole life I have been less than I could have been for myself and others in this world.

I want to quit drinking. I guess that one thing I have been doing wrong is focusing so much on the drinking: thinking about "it," reading about "it," worried about going without "it."

I hate to admit that it has taken me so long to "get it." What Saint, RLee, JenM, Nan, Frank, Michael, NancyB, RIX have all been trying to get through to me is to think about being sober, not about when my next drink will be.

I want to say, "Just for today, I will not drink," but I am afraid of failing. Actually, maybe it is fear of success instead of fear of failure. If I keep on this path, I am certainly failing.

Thanks for your concern.
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Unread 03-03-2014, 01:15 PM   #121
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Hello Susie. Bright blessings to you.

Cor blimey Guvnor.....what a long day that was! (I am from London!)

Susie, just like drinking is a symptom of other things, so is sobriety just a consequence of better things. It is what goes on between the two, that makes life worthwhile to the sober alcoholic.

All my life i used alcohol to, oh i dunno, everything. A speech, a date with a girl, a new job, a hard time, a good time, i used alcohol.

I did so because i thought i "needed it". I would not be able to "function otherwise". I grew up with it. At 1 tiny part of my young life, it was an enabler, it kept me warm on very cold nights.

The thing was that once those times had gone, i hadn't. I was still there. I was using alcohol to survive and function, without recognising......it was no longer needed. I had come to depend on it soooo much, i could no longer make the distinction between "needing it, and wanting it".

I ended up with both.

Susie i have 1 question for you to ponder.

If you are afraid of failure, AND you concede this path represents that to you, what have you got to lose to try and see what it feels like to be you?

If you don't like it, you have a path to go down.

I am putting my reputation on the line and my house, when i say to you, i BET, if you give yourself, what?......6 weeks without a drink, (after consulting your Dr), you will feel HEAPS different about you.

Better?.....Hmmmm....nah, different.

A change is as good as a rest.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you Susie.
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Unread 03-03-2014, 08:46 PM   #122
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Thanks again to all who have been supportive, Julie 47, Tryn, all of the above, and anyone whom I have forgotten. This feels like an academy award speech!

Love, Susie
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Unread 03-03-2014, 09:26 PM   #123
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gmasusie, You are welcome. Keep it simple, think through that 1st drink & stay into today until tomorrow comes.
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Unread 03-04-2014, 08:55 AM   #124
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Hi Gmasusie!

I submit to you that fear of failing when trying to stop drinking is yet another excuse to keep on drinking. I'm not trying to be harsh, I'm just trying to keep it real. Because I have done exactly the same thing and been in the exact same place that you are.

There is no failure here. This is life. We try things, we fail, we try again. There are no second chances with your life. If you want things to be different, you must do something different. Period. I really care for you and about your trials. Nothing that you are going through is new or different. We have been there. Please do not be afraid to vent, cry, laugh, scream, whatever. It is all ok. We are here for you! Take care! Jenm
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Unread 09-08-2014, 06:37 PM   #125
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OK,

It's been six months since I have updated you all. Reading almost every day has kept my eye on the prize. I first went to 2 doctors: my cardiologist and my primary care. Those were both not helpful, but primary care sent me for therapy, and I did an intake interview and a therapy session. Also, not helpful. He told me their groups were educational, and I KNEW too much

I went to two AA meetings last week, got a Big Book, read it over the weekend, went back today, and God willing, just for today, I am not going to drink.

Some very nice women gave me telephone numbers, but the two that I could remember meeting, did not answer the phone, so here I am. If I get a later urge, I will call another one. For now, you guys are it.

Since I was a college student, I have considered myself an agnostic. After reading the chapter for Agnostics, I tried to figure out how I can resolve this. My husband says he communes with God in the mountains. I don't spend as much time there, so I thought about any spiritual feelings I've had as an adult.

One of my best friends since grad school is the crisis intervention counselor at the school on the Jicarilla Apache Reservation in Dulce, NM. I absolutely respect her religion, have practiced a little of what I've learned from her, and felt true reverence, if not a religious experience when I was made an honorary member of their tribe after doing some training and volunteer work with them.

Then, from 2000 to 2004, I was the counselor at the high school in Jemez Valley, NM at the Jemez Pueblo. Again, I felt reverence and peace when attending there dances and ceremonies. Mother Earth and Father Sky, from which all of us spring. I can start there.

Also, in thinking carefully about religion this weekend, I also realized that I don't believe exclusively in any one religion, but I do somewhat believe in all religions.

Finally, in college, I read the TAO OF PHYSICS that talks about quantum physics and the exchange of sub atomic particles between us and every thing we touch. I realized I'm also a pantheist: I believe that God is everywhere, in everything and in each one of us. Synergy and synchronicity. That's why support groups and rain dances and cleansing ceremonies work. That's how God is in that AA meeting. He speaks through those who have gone before, if we will just listen.

Well, Nan and JenM, how am I doing? This is one time when I hope rationalizing is heading in the right direction.

How about the rest of you? Let me know what you think.

Wish me luck, Susie
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Unread 09-08-2014, 06:39 PM   #126
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Please excuse the old English teacher: I mispelled their!!!!!!
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Unread 09-08-2014, 06:43 PM   #127
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OK,

It's been six months since I have updated you all. Reading almost every day has kept my eye on the prize. I first went to 2 doctors: my cardiologist and my primary care. Those were both not helpful, but primary care sent me for therapy, and I did an intake interview and a therapy session. Also, not helpful. He told me their groups were educational, and I KNEW too much

I went to two AA meetings last week, got a Big Book, read it over the weekend, went back today, and God willing, just for today, I am not going to drink.

Some very nice women gave me telephone numbers, but the two that I could remember meeting, did not answer the phone, so here I am. If I get a later urge, I will call another one. For now, you guys are it.

Since I was a college student, I have considered myself an agnostic. After reading the chapter for Agnostics, I tried to figure out how I can resolve this. My husband says he communes with God in the mountains. I don't spend as much time there, so I thought about any spiritual feelings I've had as an adult.

One of my best friends since grad school is the crisis intervention counselor at the school on the Jicarilla Apache Reservation in Dulce, NM. I absolutely respect her religion, have practiced a little of what I've learned from her, and felt true reverence, if not a religious experience when I was made an honorary member of their tribe after doing some training and volunteer work with them.

Then, from 2000 to 2004, I was the counselor at the high school in Jemez Valley, NM at the Jemez Pueblo. Again, I felt reverence and peace when attending there dances and ceremonies. Mother Earth and Father Sky, from which all of us spring. I can start there.

Also, in thinking carefully about religion this weekend, I also realized that I don't believe exclusively in any one religion, but I do somewhat believe in all religions.

Finally, in college, I read the TAO OF PHYSICS that talks about quantum physics and the exchange of sub atomic particles between us and every thing we touch. I realized I'm also a pantheist: I believe that God is everywhere, in everything and in each one of us. Synergy and synchronicity. That's why support groups and rain dances and cleansing ceremonies work. That's how God is in that AA meeting. He speaks through those who have gone before, if we will just listen.

Well, Nan and JenM, how am I doing? This is one time when I hope rationalizing is heading in the right direction.

How about the rest of you? Let me know what you think.

Wish me luck, Susie
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Unread 09-08-2014, 06:54 PM   #128
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Hello gmsusie, What do I think?? I think it is great that you are not drinking today! And I think it is great that you have been searching, reading, and pondering. The explanation of the universe is just too deep for me. I just know that something greater than me is kind of overseeing things. There have been many incidents in my life that have shown me I am being "watched over". But I say whatever works for you, can bring you peace and comfort, is the way one should go.

Anyhow, so happy that you are going to AA and got phone numbers! Bad that the women you called didn't answer-keep trying as that will surely provide you support when you are fighting the urges. Darn doctors are no help sometimes-it is like they have no idea about addictions, or alcoholism. One would think it would be up-most in their minds when dealing with their patients. Oh, well...

You are right, you have us and this is a place to come to when no one else is available. Even if no one happens along you can still read and think through that first drink-R Lee sure has that right-it is the first one that will get you going again.

I know you have been reading and commenting all along-now it seems you are ready to take it on for yourself. That is good!

nan
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Unread 09-08-2014, 06:59 PM   #129
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Thank you, Nan

My post sounded so self-centered. The struggles of Tryn and Michael, the advice of you guys, RLee, Saint, RIX, Frankie, support of Nancy B and many others have brought me to this point. You were all right: I couldn't do it on my own.

Love, Susie
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Unread 09-08-2014, 07:09 PM   #130
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Julie 48, I almost forgot you! I'm sure there are others I have forgotten. Forgive me.

Susie
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Unread 09-08-2014, 10:01 PM   #131
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gmasusie, Good job. AA is not a religious program it is a spiritual program. I think you have enough spirituality to turn things over.

Do not give up on the phone calls. They will come. Get a sponsor if it is only a temporary one.If in danger please think that drink through.

Not many read the Big book as you did early in sobriety.

Keep up the Great work.

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Unread 09-08-2014, 10:39 PM   #132
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All the research I did says this really works, so I did not want to turn up my nose since nothing else has worked for me.

Thank you, RLee, again for the encouragement. In an hour I will be sober for 24 hours. Say a prayer for me(or sprinkle some corn meal).

Love, Susie
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Unread 09-08-2014, 11:13 PM   #133
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Hey there gmasusie-I will do both-prayers and the corn meal is being sprinkled as I type this. Good for you, 24 hours-do it one day at a time. See, you did make it. Yay!!

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Unread 09-09-2014, 12:29 AM   #134
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Gmasusie,
Congrats on 24 hrs. sober!!! You're putting the work in. We move towards and become that which we think about. Keep sobriety your priority and remember you are not alone.

Thinking of the universe amazes, astounds me. We get caught up in the cocoons of our lives but man's knowledge is really quite limited in the grand scheme of things.

Peace,
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Unread 09-09-2014, 06:17 AM   #135
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Hi Susie, yes, congrats on 24 hours! I did want you to know that I did not find your post at all self centered. You're always supporting others, it was really good to hear from you about how YOU are doing. Please keep letting us know - we are here for you too.

Nancy
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Unread 09-09-2014, 09:46 AM   #136
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Gmasusie!

I am very proud of you. Not taking a drink for 24 hours is a big deal!

My advice to you is to keep it as simple as you can. Easier said than done, I know! I never thought I was "too smart" for this disease, but I did struggle with the fact that I have multiple years of education and some degrees, yet I couldn't (even after reading, research, and pouring into case studies) stop drinking for one day! I was trusting only myself to stop. As it proved in my life, it doesn't work.

I believe that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior and that he died on the cross for our sins, as the wages for sin is death (Romans 3:23). He rose again on the 3rd day and is now at the right hand of God. Because I placed my faith in Him, my sins have been forgiven (past, present, and future) and my life is different. THIS IS JUST ME! I understand and respect that there are many other beliefs.

My life has changed. Do I still struggle? Yep. Do I still sin? Yep. We live in a world FULL of sin. My level of peace today is directly proportional to my surrender and my devotion to The Lord. I can't even begin to describe the level of peace within, despite some really bad circumstances in my life, that I have at this time.

No matter what, though, don't give up Gmasusie! We are here for you, we are in your corner. And we have been exactly where you are right now. When you have had enough of drinking, you have had enough of drinking. Period. We love you, and hope that you will continue to share, no matter what! Take care! Jenm
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Unread 09-09-2014, 10:07 AM   #137
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Thank you all. I slept better than I have in months and woke up without the tightnesss in my chest and bloated feeling. I'm scared to get too excited. I don't want to blow it, but I feel confident that I can say, "Just for today, I'm not going to drink." A little shaky, so I think I'll try to eat some breakfast. I'm going to a meeting at noon, proud to have earned my 24-hour chip.

I could not have done this without you all. I hope Tryn is OK. Later.
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Unread 09-10-2014, 12:13 PM   #138
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Hello Susie. Bright blessings to you.

Not often can i accept the beauty of others belonging to me.

The previous post... from Jenm, in all my time in this family, one of the most honest and beautiful things i have ever heard. The purity of belief, quite gorgeous. The power of this family.

I have found that sobriety is a place. A destination. If your heart, soul and mind are in that place, just for a minute, you are on the way to sobriety. A minute at a time, an hour, a day, it somehow does not become how long, but because choice has now become a part of your world. Where once control and choice feels like it has gone, the journey to sobriety, (by the way a gorgeous and challenging one), for me was about cuddling choice. I needed to know it was up to me.

Then comes the adventure of self destruct. That awful place we all think we are enjoying. We are not. It is not the case "no one listens', it is simply we do not think we are worth listening to ourselves. If i do not wish to hear someone, i will turn away.

Thereby reaching out for others other than myself, and other things to enable me to feel "worthy". Resentment, a part of ourselves that feeds so much addiction, is born from not feeling valuable, so we mould ourselves into something we are not. It is such a difficult journey. However you see yourself now Susie, you have actually navigated your journey thus far with a kindness that now needs to be reserved for you.

We never needed any of that. All we needed was ourselves and our love of others.

Now when i am ready to take someone clean out, i realise actually, that is me.

Having read your journey thus far, and it's so good it is getting better, huge huggles to you, but moreover if you read back, R Lee saying "give yourself a chance", ...Saint saying "you don't have to live like this".....Michael saying ..."it's just not worth it, You can do this"....and of course Nan, Nancy saying "...to hear from you and how YOU are doing"....spot on... and Jenm. A world of doors, experience, wisdom and love.

You are a winner. Why? Because you want to be. 1 day at a time Susie, we all get there. R Lee's billion years sober letter was an inspiration to us all. I am an alcoholic, you are, and so is R Lee.

As he said, if 1 alcoholic can, any alcoholic can. I believe him. I believe it every day 1 day at a time. Support, crucial, gentleness and kindness to yourself, from yourself, imperative.

I often feel sorrow that we can not all touch each other and link up.....oh hold on, Susie we do. Every word has well being, reached out hands, and a reverance that acknowledges you are doing just fine.

If it goes pear shaped?, so what? We are human after all. However, if we hang onto, and take why we want to be free of alcohol, 1 day at a time, i promise you, you will find the freedom you deserve.

Keep us posted, good or not so good. This family loves you.

Be peaceful, be gentle and be kind to yourself right now. Loveness to you Susie.
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Unread 09-10-2014, 05:13 PM   #139
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Today is day #3. So far, so good. I go to a meeting every day at noon. They are all crazy, but they say every addict is crazy, so we are in good company. Seriously, the laughter and good humor and unconditional acceptance are astounding. When I told them how I worked through my agnosticism to a spirituality I could accept, they nodded their heads, even the ones that I know are staunch Christians.

JenM, I appreciate your story and your support. You have always been there for me, and I respect and appreciate your love of God. It sure works for you, and for that I am grateful.

Nan, RLee, Saint, Nancy B, Tryn, thank's for "coming out of the woodwork" like I knew you would. I HAVE to stay humble, and not forget the black hole I have just come out of. One day at a time.

Love to all, Susan
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Unread 09-11-2014, 09:09 PM   #140
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Awesome Gmasusie! !! We get out of things that which we put into it. Don't be afraid to move outside of your comfort zone. Do what you need to stay sober. You're worth it.

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Unread 09-11-2014, 11:08 PM   #141
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Thanks, Saint

I'm pretty well whipped at this point, but I am going to bed sober on day 4. Keep the prayers and the corn meal coming!!

The theme for today was "acceptance." I said it took fifty years for me to accept that I am an alcoholic.

Love, Susie
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Unread 09-12-2014, 06:44 AM   #142
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Hi Susie, congrats on day 4! I hope you were able to sleep well. Sending good thoughts your way!

Nancy
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Unread 09-12-2014, 08:58 AM   #143
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Good job Susie. Think through that 1st drink.
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Unread 09-12-2014, 09:47 AM   #144
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Good morning, susie-Hope you had a good night's sleep. Glad to hear you are attending daily meetings! I think that is an important part in your journey-acceptance,not only of the disease, but the knowledge that you do need the support of others to jump all the hurdles. Keep your eyes on the prize, you can do this. I am wildly sprinkling corn meal, burning incense, and sending my positive thoughts your way. Did you "catch" them yet?

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Unread 09-12-2014, 09:51 AM   #145
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Thanks so much to all of you. Nan, thanks for the cornmeal!!

I'll keep you all posted.

Love, Susie
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Unread 09-13-2014, 04:19 PM   #146
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Good evening Susie. Bright blessings to you.

What a cracking post from Nan. Well?........was the incense and positive thoughts felt as much as the cornmeal?...(What is cornmeal>? )

I hope for you this is day 6, and if it is, i remember it well for myself. I think it felt like 60 years!!!

Look at it like this.

Imagine a "dead leg". Gosh the times that has happened!!.....isnt it painful???

What did you do about it?....Errrr...actually there is nothing you can do. You rub it, hop around the place like a demented chicken, but the pain is still there. All you can do is wait for it to pass.....and wait.....and wait.....ahhhh....that's better.

It eases. The pain ebbs away naturally. Although you have to wait for it to pass.

The tranistion, the "journey from gotta have it.....to i dont want it anymore", is very, very, very, very quick. It just takes a lifetime to not want it anymore. Once you have taken the choice that ....Nah, no more. That has a timeframe, or some might say "tameframe", when the evil beast of alcoholism is tamed and shamed.

Once i tamed my evil beast, i got to realise that i need to tame it, 1 day at a time.

Delighted you are getting support. Many will say much about support.

It does what it says on the tin. Engage with the support that works for you. Why?.....It works.

I don't want to say i am proud of your choices because it sounds really patronising.

I am really proud of you.

Be peaceful, be healthy and keep staying strong. Loveness to you Susie
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Unread 09-13-2014, 08:59 PM   #147
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I am so grateful for you, Susie! That's all for now. Hope you're doing well! Jenm
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Unread 09-14-2014, 04:09 PM   #148
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I'm scared to feel proud. I feel humble that others care enough about me to give me the support I need to do this. Today is the first day I have not attended a meeting, but my son is coming home from out of town today.

Even the Lord rested on the seventh day?

Also this is a test, to see if I can make it a day without a meeting.

Wish me luck. Love, Susie
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Unread 09-14-2014, 04:21 PM   #149
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Yes, Miss Susie, you can make it today! Reading here and keeping us updated does keep your mind in the right place. Enjoy the day with your son-and, yes, don't be too scared to be proud of how you are doing. I am proud of you and am proud of how hard you are working to beat this disease. Just keep doing what you have been, one day at a time.

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Unread 09-14-2014, 04:47 PM   #150
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Good evening Susie. Bright blessings to you.

Scared to feel to proud? .....you are sharing in this family...it makes you proud by default.

Strength to reach out, the will to want things to resolve, finding ways to solutions.

I am absolutely sure that all of us in this family, are finding our own way as best we can, although the empowerment of support, just a unjudged natter, so empowering.

Keep nattering Susie, I recognise the need for the meeting support. You know you said you were worried about making the day without a meeting? You did. You came here to your brothers and sisters.

Have a wonderful time with your boy.

Give him a hug from us all.

Be strong. Loveness Susie
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