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Unread 05-02-2013, 03:54 PM   #51
julie48
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It is completely understandable that you feel relief. She is safe, clean, and has the chance to make some sense of what she has been doing, which she will find makes no sense. Prayers your way. Julie
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Unread 05-02-2013, 09:57 PM   #52
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Crickets, I'm glad to see things moving forward. It will be up to her to want it more than anything.

Once a week I go to the local county jail on Tuesdays & conduct a A.A. meeting for inmates who wish to attend.

Our county is small only a population of 10,000, but they have a great drug court where inmates can lessen thier jail time buy going to rehab. Then they are in the drug court program, with curfews, breath test both on a specific day & random. They have to attend drug court on Wednesday. They have assignments to show they are working a program to stay sober. If they fail anything they are back in jail.

I wish her the best. You her & your family are in my prayers.
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Unread 05-09-2013, 10:11 PM   #53
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I appreciate that Nancy and will get on to amazon..right now
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Unread 05-09-2013, 10:26 PM   #54
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R.Lee she told us this past saturday she goes to the AA meetings now..I believe she had to wait for 2 weeks to get in. I have you and your mother in my prayers as well,and you are so kind to take the time to respond to 'us' even during your demanding times..Honestly,I dont want her out early,I told Nancy and Julie,I so need a break from the worrying that this has been a mental vacation.She is supposedly going to a 30 day rehab as soon as released from jail,maybe even leaving straight from there..I did go and speak to out mental health office that she is going into their program and they suggested intense therapy and AA..this will fall on me since she will not have a drivers license for 3 years.I have already changed my work schedule to acommadate. If I dont do this,she wont be able to get the help.
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Unread 05-11-2013, 07:59 AM   #55
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CRICKETS, Stay tough. Don't enable her. She has to want to stop drinkng. I'm glad she has chosen a support group.
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Unread 05-17-2013, 07:03 AM   #56
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Hi CRICKET5, just checking in to see how YOU are doing. Hopefully all is well and things are calm.

Nancy
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Unread 05-22-2013, 12:40 PM   #57
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I really feel bad saying this,but I have enjoyed life lately.No worrying to death,tears,wondering what is going on,where she might be,is she being hurt,I know where she is and we go visit our once a week visitation,she calls maybe twice thru the week. I had forgotten what it is like to just live,and not worry every second of the day about her. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me,and I can breath,at least for just a while. She has another 3 or so weeks in jail. Thank you all for checking on me. Hope all is well with everyone. Cricket
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Unread 05-22-2013, 01:17 PM   #58
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Crickets, I'm glad the weight has been lifted. Now it will be up to her on how she wants to live. My best to her & your family.
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Unread 05-22-2013, 08:15 PM   #59
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Hi Cricket, don't feel badly! It's the truth and that shows how far-reaching addiction is. Sometimes the addicted person thinks that they are the only ones affected, but that's so far from the truth.

Have you told her that? Maybe she should know - especially since she hasn't drank in a while now it might resonate more that she not only turned her life upside down, but yours also.

I'm glad you are enjoying life again!

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Unread 06-23-2013, 11:52 PM   #60
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It didnt change...she got out after 2 months and was drunk that day..someone from AA picked her up and left her at AA building to return after they got off work,and she had walked around town the whole day and had been drinking.They dropped her here at the house,I was at work,her dad was here and he suspected but didnt want to be confrontational and let her come in.When I got home at 11:30PM I went to her room and could smell it.After working a long day and being greeted with this,I lost it..she had to go outside until she sobered up.Next day,sober and 'I made a mistake'..I didnt want to hear it..so for the next few days she was saying she was leaving with someone to go to AA but that has been a big lie..she was drinking.So tonight I received a call from local police and she had walked to some strangers house,knocked on door and they called for help.The people were afraid for her safety. The police called me and asked did I want to come get her or them take her to jail. I told them she needed to go to the hospital after drinking a pint(prob more) of vodka.So this is where I am,back in my 'jail',waiting for the phone to ring.Im tired and am getting older and worn slapdab out!2 months! Nothing! and her first thing to do immediately is to drink! Even the police didnt know what to do,they gave her an option! Why do I feel so bad that I told them to handle it?
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Unread 06-24-2013, 12:11 AM   #61
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I mean she has been gone for 3 days and I had not heard a word from her, and to get this at 8:00pm to 'come get her or she is going to jail'..Im still wondering how could she have gone the 2 months and throw that headstart away! She must have planned this from the get go because she called someone to pick her up from jail and let her out..Im just confused and was really hoping and praying that this would have her kickstart for a new beginning..
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Unread 06-24-2013, 07:32 PM   #62
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Hi CRICKET5, oh, I am so sorry to hear that she reverted right back to alcohol once she left. You're likely right that she had been planning it and chose someone who she could manipulate for the ride.

Do you know where she is now? Did they bring her to the hospital? Perhaps if that happens again, just let them take her back to jail.

Do you have any idea if she has a probation officer or social worker - someone who can come in and do something? It's just too bad there wasn't a sober house or something set up for her after she got out.

Do you think she would try the Vivitrol IM injection? It won't stop her from drinking, but it's more of a harm-reduction medication. It lessens the effect of alcohol, so that the patient just drinks less (it's also used for opiate addiction - it blocks opiates from reaching the receptors). There's some information here:
http://www.alcoholanswers.org/treatm...-treatment.cfm

and also here:
http://www.vivitrol.com/

But please, try to regroup and reset boundaries and stick to them.
Take care of you.

Nancy
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Unread 06-24-2013, 10:27 PM   #63
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CRICKETS, I retired as a policeofficer 20 years ago. In a case like her we would have to take her to a hospital for detox, rather than locking her up for drunk & disorderly. This was in Michigan & each state is different.

As hard as it is she has to hit her bottom without you enableing her.
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Unread 06-25-2013, 03:00 AM   #64
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This is so confusing and heartbreaking I dont know where and what to do.I call the probation officer and all they are about is that she has to come in once a month and plunk down $55 and do drug test,NO HELP.They all act like they dont know of places or sources for help.I have called and called and all I hear is money! $25000.00 for a public medical schools program,others are just halfway homes that cant detox and babysit her.I do understand that,but the judge acts like she has no clue of any place to end her for help.The drs I have taken her to just sit like knots on a log,and say see you again in a month,here is your prescription.We are clueless and I just cant understand our local govt not having suggestions,because I know she is not the first person to need help.This is utter CRAZY!I still cant get over her walking around somewhere and randomly ringing someone's doorbell,and you know the rest.I have taken her to the hospital twice for the detox,but undoubtedly she needs more than 2 months..that is something no one else can explain is that she doesnt withdraw,she went 2 months without anything and that must not be long enough.I didnt hear anything from her today so Im not sure where she is.Im just so tired of this and no where to turn for help. We are in Alabama,and I called Bradford,a rehab and they wont take her because her insurance doesnt recognize them without going thru some other psychiatric dr and I cant even get them to make an appt..now that is bs..everyone has told me Bradford took others needing help,that had no insurance and its like i am butting my head at the wall trying to get them to take her.Some money is better than none,or at least I thought.She is falling thru every crack it seems
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Unread 06-25-2013, 03:14 AM   #65
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You dont know this but,we are really good parents,great providers,wanting them to have better and more opportunities in life.We gave her a great college education and open door policy that you never have to get out,you are always welcome here,just be honest and do your best to succeed in whatever makes your dreams come true.Not pushy,prob more controlling than we thought we were,but always had her back.We are good people,wondering where we went wrong,when did we ignore the signs or did she just hide them so well or what. I prob fought to many of her battles,but now I cant fight this one for her.
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Unread 06-25-2013, 03:21 AM   #66
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THANK YOU ALL FOR LISTENING! I cant tell you how much it means to me to just tell someone my troubles..oh the people that are hurting out there and needing help,and cant find it,its awful..i thought I was educated but find myself being dumbdown,and I am sober and cant understand..
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Unread 06-25-2013, 07:40 PM   #67
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CRICKETS, You are good people looking out for your daughter. You gave her every opportunity to be successful in life. She has a disease called alcoholism. Even though it is a disease she has to want to get help.

I just came from a jail meeting in a small county of 10,000 people. I lead a meeting for inmates who want to come to it. This county has a drug court. If an inmate wants to go to rehab & is approved by the drug court they can go to rehab instead of staying in jail. It is a modle program & if they do not complete the program they are back in jail to serve out their sentence. They are then on probation which requires them to alcohol & drug tests. If they fail they go back to jail.

I wish I could give you an answer to help you other than YOU HAVE DONE EVERYTHING TO GET HER HELP. She has not wanted to get sober more than anything in her life. Until she wants it more than anything & doing it for herself her sad story will continue.

At least you have put forth the effort & can be at peace with that no matter what her outcome may be.
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Unread 06-25-2013, 10:19 PM   #68
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Thank you R.Lee..its just so mind boggling and I find myself fighting depressed moods..I love being at work because I stay so busy for those hours that I cant think about what is going on..but once I get in the car,reality hits and your mind starts to wonder and go places you wish it wouldnt.Family that knows what is going on avoids us like the plague now,because they dont want to be burden or have the worry.Friends,same thing.Im tired.I had heard about a program like what you do but it is in another county,and I think they only extend it to 1st time arrests,but our county has nothing like it.I know the rate of success has been overwhelming for that program.
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Unread 06-26-2013, 09:56 AM   #69
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Hi CRICKET5, please relieve yourself of the guilt of 'where did I go wrong'. You didn't! As R. Lee said, she has a disease, and until SHE honestly and truly wants help, there isn't anything anyone can do. It's sad, but that's the reality of the disease of addiction.

Were you able to find an Alanon meeting? http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
What about you seeing a counselor. You cannot continue to tear yourself up like this.
Try to remember the three Cs - You didn't Cause it; you can't Control it; you can't cure it.

You need to take care of yourself. Deep down, she knows you love her, but until she is ready to get help and enter recovery, your hands are tied. Try to work on detachment.

Please give this link called "What can I do for myself?" a read. It may be helpful.
http://www.alcoholanswers.org/friend...for-myself.cfm

This link is for Free Addiction Treatment Centers in Alabama:
http://www.freeaddictioncenters.com/state/alabama
From that:
"We provide free, sliding scale, and affordable addiction treatment centers in Alabama. Our listings include all types of addiction treatment. This ranges from alcohol and drug treatment, to many other types of addiction centers. Our main goal is to provide free locations, but we also list sliding scale and other 'almost free' treatment locations. The services differ on each listing some provide outpatient and inpatient and others just provide one or the other.

Use our search by city search box below to find the list of local clinics in Alabama. We have also listed the top cities in Alabama on the right side of the page.
Call 1 800-664-3315 and speak now with an alcohol or drug abuse counselor."

But it will be fruitless until she wants help.

Please take care of yourself.

Nancy
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Unread 06-26-2013, 07:27 PM   #70
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We have drug court in tennessee and I think georgia does too, Bradford is in tennessee as wellbut I'm not sure of their track record here.
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Unread 06-27-2013, 10:49 PM   #71
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She just showed up this afternoon demanding to come in...i said no,not anymore..you have been gone for a week and have used up your money and friends and your not coming here to drink and clean up..i am at my wits end with her.I didnt cause this yet i am the one living the hell with her,She doesnt even try to get sober.She whines about how sad her life is and she wants to be in a relationship,and work and make plans for herself,but doesnt try. She blames everyone but never herself.She has never said she has a problem, just blames everyone else. Like you all have said,until she hits bottom and wants help,its useless for us to try and put her somewhere.
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Unread 06-28-2013, 10:12 AM   #72
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Hi CRICKET5, that's a huge step not allowing her into your home. I'm really proud of you for doing that for your sanity. Until she decides to get help, you have to remember that you aren't dealing with your daughter per se. You're dealing with addiction and all that goes along with it, such as the manipulation, passive aggressive behavior in trying to guilt you into doing what SHE wants you to do, the shoving off of personal responsibility.

Have you thought about writing her a letter telling her how you feel and what her addiction is doing to you and your family? Even if you never give it to her, it might be a cathartic exercise for you.

Continue doing what you're doing. I will keep my fingers crossed that she wants help much sooner than later.

Nancy
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Unread 06-28-2013, 05:53 PM   #73
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CRICKETS, I'm proud you had the courage to not let her in. It is so hard but you are helping her in the long run.
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Unread 06-29-2013, 09:35 AM   #74
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Hello CRICKET5,

I am a recovering alcoholic and have been reading your difficult journey. I just want to say that your well being is as important as that of your daughters. Whatever is happening for her, she must make the choice on her own to stop. There are lots of options available to her when she choses to make that choice. Nothing you can do will change that.

My heart goes out to you. There is support for you.

My best wishes to you and your family..
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Unread 07-01-2013, 05:48 PM   #75
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Thank you Tryntryagain..I wish you well,for I have no clue to how hard it is to keep going the right path of sobriety..I have seen her struggles and read others and my heart truly goes out to you all..I seethe temptation everywhere I go and alcohol has just become the norm for society that when you first walk into a grocery it is staring right at you..
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Unread 07-03-2013, 01:31 PM   #76
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Hello CRICKET5

So good to hear from you. Thank you for being so open. I would just say that whatever struggles your daughter has before her, are hers. Of course you will want to support her, but you can not do it for her. She will learn that she needs and can do it for herself. She will rely on a rock in the road, if there is a drink under it. Until there is no longer a drink to be had, from anywhere, using any tactic, will she allow herself to feel what she really feels. She has been hiding away under the blanket of alcohol. There is no more you can do to help her up, she must now do it for herself.

You need to look after yourself. I can only imagine how painful it must be for you, but it is not your fault. I also want you to know that should an alcoholic need support because they want it, it is readily available. Please use your support when you need it. As i have always been the beneficiary of these forums, when you need and ear, some support, this place is always open.

My best wishes to you and your family.
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Unread 07-08-2013, 02:21 AM   #77
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It seems like weeks since I wrote,but in reality it has only been a few days.She had to call from the hospital to have a ride and initially I said call one of your 'friends',but they wouldnt come,or couldnt..whatever,I ended up going.Stupid me.She was home here for a few days and called someone to pick her up,and of course they brought her back her,drunk.I got online and checked my cell phone usage to see hers,and I tried to call the ass that came and of course just got threatened that if I called again they would call and report to police.I had a come apart! I unloaded,and put her out.I told her that for one,someone is not coming to my house and picking her up,prob using her and drop her off and then have the audacity to threaten me! Of course I know its not that persons fault,but they know her struggles.I was trying to have a peaceful few days because believe it or not,the other 2 kids came home for a few days.One has left already,and the brother was pretty verbal.Im so sick of this! I really dont know how people can tolerate the sick person that is in their life,because this has only been a few years,and I am about ready to leave...now I know how my other 2 kids feel,like they cant wait to go back 'home'. We aked her if it was so bad that she thinks we control her,why do you keep coming back here..she said this was her home,and we told her it WAS,but not while she is drinking...she really has no intentions of stopping.Promises promises,and she needs to finish school,and she has plans..I have heard this same old crap and her poor me attitude I am beginning to resent her.She doesnt even try. She has her meds and doesnt even take it.
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Unread 07-08-2013, 02:29 AM   #78
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She probably only weighs 90 to 95 lbs,maybe..she was drinking hairspray.It is cheaper and someone said it makes you drunk,maybe quicker..The doctor said the vivitrol was not effective and he gave her zoloft and another anxiety med..doesnt help thou if you dont take it
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Unread 07-08-2013, 04:38 PM   #79
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CRICKETS, She tricked you & that is not your fault.

It is so hard to be firm but don't enable her. She will just use you & then go drink expecting you to help her out.

Keep your head held high & remember you can't help her if she won't help herself.
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Unread 07-08-2013, 05:02 PM   #80
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Hi, I have been reading this thread and as hard as this is to say and do, it is time to cut all ties to her. Your daughter needs to hit a bottom so hard it will knock her out of her socks. My parents did that for me. They enabled my drug us, bailed me out, rehabs, etc. for years. Well, like u they got sick and tired of ME and let me go. I hit a bottom so hard I wish it on no one. Well, with that being said, I am clean and sober 13 years, have an AWESOME relationship with my family, got married and am a grad student. I am 47 yrs. old. God bless you and I pray you find the strength to let go.....for good for now. Peace. Julie
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Unread 07-08-2013, 07:36 PM   #81
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Hi CRICKET5, I completely agree with R. Lee and julie47. It's time to completely detach yourself from her. It could be the only way that she does finally hit bottom and WANT to get help. Right now, she's not ready or else she would have continued not drinking after she got out of jail.

She knows your love HER - your daughter - the person you're dealing with is her addiction.

You have to take care of yourself and not let your daughter continue to control you and your family.

Please do take care of you.

Nancy
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Unread 07-08-2013, 07:39 PM   #82
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Well I have been left here this week while my husband,her dad,had to travel out of state for business..we have already had a confrontation which ended with the result of my arm scratched up,a staircase spindle broken into,and her outside banging on the door every hour or so..my son is here and is trying to work from home,but said he was leaving tomorrow because he is afraid he is going to hurt her..I worked nights this weekend and somehow while running on fumes I fell asleep and heard pounding on the door,jumped up and opened it and that is how she got in..I am telling you it was a struggle to get her out,but I did..I am to OLD for this! She has been out there since I got her out last night..I am so afraid that with my husband and her brother as far as patience,they would hit her,that is why I play the hardass..Im not saying they want to,but dammit I want to! He will say 'if I touch her she will be hurt,because I am not putting up with this'..but then being the dad he also worries sick about what others might do to her..it is like a mental tugawar here..I have said this before,but where did we miss the signs..she had everything, but what? She had the same opportunities as her brother and sister.Why would anyone give up a cushy life to live outside or wherever she can con herself in to..My emotions go from being so damn mad, to so damn sad..I have been tough but these people that use her just bring her back here for us to pick up the pieces,EVERYTIME!Thanks everyone,sorry so long...Cricket
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Unread 07-08-2013, 07:48 PM   #83
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But the situations she has been in are so scary I cant see how they were not rock bottom..I mean I have received calls and she was in some very tough neighborhoods,that I did go and I was scared! I really am wondering if she has been raped,and that is hard to not think about but it is very possible,very very possible..Knocking on strangers doors,hiding behind dumpsters,so drunk she doesnt remember anything. But I always always get the blame from her that I am to controlling,but that was for her own good..It didnt effect the other 2 kids,they found it to be concern,but with her its control..I have had calls to come get her and she was in a house with a few guys,and I left there crying,with her in tow,and knowing that deep down something probably happened,and if that is what happened,and that makes her want to drink then she needs to come to terms with that,and seek rape counseling..Im just thinking out loud about that,but I have to wonder.There are so many more 'rock bottoms',that if they werent the one then her bottom maybe death
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Unread 07-08-2013, 09:44 PM   #84
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HI Crickets: Ok, a couple of things you said I would like to address. First thing, addiction has NO prejudice. Meaning, it is an equal opportunity destroyer. I come from an upper-middle class family. My sister and I wanted for nothing. We had everything many kids only dream of. My sister went on to become a success and makes six figures a year, I went on to become an addict. Again, an equal opportunity destroyer. The best parents, home, etc., is no guarantee that our children won't stray into the depths of what is considered "the darkness". Then there are kids that grow up dirt poor in gang ridden, drug infested neighborhoods, and go on to make it the NFL, Senate, Hollywood, become teacher, doctors, lawyers, or just the average working Joe. Many of us are pre-disposed to addiction/genetic makeup, etc., and once we experiment with drugs and or alcohol, it is off to the races. Also, those that are in emotional pain/mental illness will self-medicate with alcohol/drugs.

You also mentioned you would have thought your daughter hit her bottom after being in bad neighborhoods, etc. NOT. When your daughter hits that bottom that blows her socks off SHE will know it. I was stabbed in a bad part of town while buying coke. I was knocked out on the back of the head and stabbed with a Phillips screwdriver. I SWEAR this is true. As soon as I cleaned myself up and got home, I proceeded to use my drugs. Didn't faze me. I could have been killed. These people were looking to rob me and only got a few dollars out of my pocket as my money was in my bra. Anyway, for me that did not deter me. I suffered one mild heart attack, a mini stroke, been robbed, dragged in to a car and barely escaped with my life. The stories go on and on and they are all true. It was only when I had a horrible car accident that claimed the life of an innocent woman that my bottom was hit. I spent over five years in prison. It turned out to be exactly where I needed to be. This is a long story and I won't go on about it, but the point is, what you may think should be your daughter's bottom is not....it is HER bottom and when she hits it, you'll know.

In the mean time. Please, for your sanity, marriage, health and family, cut all ties from your daughter. Don't allow her in your home. I know this is so hard to hear, but this may end up being the best thing you can do for it. Actually at this point it is the only thing u can do for her. God bless, and keep us up to date. We all care. Julie
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Unread 07-08-2013, 10:40 PM   #85
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julie47, Thanks so much for your honest story. You help me stay sober!!
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Unread 07-09-2013, 02:07 AM   #86
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Julie,that is truly so sad,and I truly know where your parents were coming from..when you're a parent,at any age you just cant help but want to help..those were some heartbreaking situations you went thru,and even near death defying, you continued..I can not even begin to imagine for you or your parents..it just prays on our minds..
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Unread 07-09-2013, 02:21 AM   #87
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Yes, it does prey on the mind. Today I am best friends with my mother and watch over her. She trust me with her life, finances, etc., and for that I am truly honored My parents did go through awful worry, but they never lost faith that one day I would "be back". And I am and I live a wonderful, full, blessed life. I am the mother of three daughters, identical twins age 23 and another age 25. We are all so close, they know of my past struggles and my girls' are awesome. The twins' are in college and work and my oldest is a college graduate and work as a respitory therapist. They are wonderful and I am truly blessed and the thought of any of my girls' going out there and crossing over to the dark side would absolutely terrify me. Although I am a recovering addict, I am still a mother, a wife and a student studying for her Master's in psychology. Yes, even someone as lost as I was can make it back. Keep praying.....and stay strong. But most of all take care of you. Some of the best advice you can get is from others who are strong in their recovery, we have been and done that...Julie
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Unread 07-09-2013, 02:21 PM   #88
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julie47, You are living proof that we can turn our lives around.
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Unread 07-09-2013, 03:13 PM   #89
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Julie47

Wow, you truly are an inspiration to others. You prove that people should never lose hope. Thank you!
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Unread 07-09-2013, 07:58 PM   #90
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Thank you al for reading my story and for the wonderful feedback. I was one of those who never thought she'd make it back, I should have died in my addiction, but the man upstairs had other plans....that's right, never give up hope. Peace....Julie
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Unread 07-13-2013, 07:18 AM   #91
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Hi CRICKET5, checking in to see how you are doing. Let us know when you have time.

Nancy
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Unread 07-13-2013, 07:05 PM   #92
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Hello CRICKET5,

how are you getting along? Be good to hear from you.

My best wishes.
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Unread 08-08-2013, 11:12 AM   #93
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Hello all..well I know for fact I am NOT the enabler,my husband is. Up until about a week and half ago I just worked worked worked to avoid being at home. It seems like I would leave for work and she would find her way home while I was gone.Her dad would let her in,she would sleep it off and be gone the next day.I confronted both and said if she leaves this house again with anyone and thinks she is coming back,its not happening.I told her that was it,I TOLD MY HUSBAND THAT WAS IT. I will leave.Since then she has been sober,but he finally told her if she leaves again she cant ever come back.He said he was tired of someone picking her up,getting drunk and then getting dropped off here and we have to deal with the problem,her. He has to get past the sympathy and worry of the 'what ifs', and I believe with me being gone and him having to deal,he has had his bait
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Unread 08-08-2013, 11:15 AM   #94
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She did tell us that she doesnt crave alcohol,that she just gets depressed with everything and that is the only way to not deal with it. I told her that all the medicine in the world wil not help as long as she doesnt take it,or drinks and takes it
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Unread 08-08-2013, 07:37 PM   #95
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Cricket5, Way to have the courage to be tough.
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Unread 09-03-2013, 04:17 PM   #96
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Things havent changed..thought I would let everyone know..I have just put myself into working and staying busy.Every few days she shows up,drunk and my husband(her dad),lets her in,even though we argue about it every every time! He said he just cant turn his back.He is getting tired of it,his temper is waning ,I can tell. Matter of time with him and it is going to come to a head. She comes in crying and reeks of alcohol,but after a good sleep,bath, is ready to go again.HOW? Why?
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Unread 09-03-2013, 08:50 PM   #97
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Hello Cricket~ I am sorry to hear that things kind of continue on in the destructive cycle and your husband can't let her go. The sad part I have learned from the alcoholic in my life and the family around him who continued to enable is... they will reach their limit too as we did. The alcoholic will take and take and take from each person around them until one by one they all fall away, empty, deflated, angry and hurt. It is torture to watch. The belief I am trying to completely digest is the faster the family can cut the addict off completely the better for everyone. The hard part is we can only control ourselves.

My family for 18+ months refused to let go, kept enabling until they were simply empty, out of energy, grace and resources... by God's grace I found this site and some books and learned how to get out of the cycle a little sooner then them, but it has been really hard for all.

I am sorry for what you have been going through Cricket... it seems there is almost no greater tragedy for a family to encounter. Keep checking in, keep learning and most of all keep the tough love going. Your husband/family will join you there eventually... it is inevitable in my opinion. In the mean time take care of yourself. We are here with you...

rix
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Unread 09-03-2013, 08:52 PM   #98
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CRICKETS, You are doing right by your daughter by not enabling her. Your husband seeing his daughter is afraid for her so he lets her in the house thinking he is keeping her safe & hoping she will now sober up. But she does what alcoholics do go back to drinking. He is not helping her. He is enabling her.

You stay strong. It took me 42 years of drinking only to stop 25 years after I had hit my bottom.

I was convinced I could not stay stopped so I quit trying. Then out of the blue while I was drunk I was overcome with the desire that this is it & I was going to get help. I went the next day to a support group. They welcomed me & I have been able to stay sober just staying in today & working on my thinking problem.
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Unread 09-09-2013, 02:47 AM   #99
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I dont have 40 years,or 25 years R.Lee...i dont think i can hold out that long. I dont think I can take another day,but I drag thru another,stay busy and try to stay distracted. Its effecting my job performance somewhat,and that is how I know I wont make it thru another year,this is pure hell,and Im not the one doing the drinking!.I understand where my husband is coming from,he just worries sick about her.He gets so mad,then a day later caves.I get it.Thanks Rix,i keep the hope
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Unread 09-09-2013, 02:48 AM   #100
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Trytryagain,Thanks for asking me to keep everyone informed..you all stay strong also
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