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Unread 03-07-2013, 03:42 AM   #1
CRICKET5
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Default Daughter is binge drinker

I dont know where to even start..we have a 29 yr old beautiful daughter who is petite and compassionate..she also is an alcoholic..she has a bs from college but cant even hold down a steady job,cause she will drink..and she will drink anything that has alcohol,meaning rubbing alcohol,listerine,vodka..she binges.there have been 2 dui's.and the revoke license for over a yr..she lives with us(dad and me,the mom),or wherever she can go and drink without recourse.She has worn out welcomes from my family and they wont have anything to do with us anymore,neither will her siblings.We have taken her to doctors,detox,hospital and comes out and goes back at it.She has lost her possession of her car,by us,and we give her nothing anymore.She has a on/off again bf who is of no help.They fight ,he calls,i have to go get her.She has had self esteem issues and depression but will not take the med.The drinking has been going on for about 4 years that we know of,serious drinking i should say.She blacks out sometimes,but lately has been violent and hitting,and that is where tonight comes in.I get a call at 1015pm,from bf that she is at his house,drunk,please come get her.I go and literally fight to get the keys of the car she just got back after 1.5 yrs.I ended up with her charging at me and slapping me in the face,he is trying to hold her and i am saying call the police.Of course,he doesnt want to but after me telling him while i am fighting her off he does..she cries and tells me to lets leave,she will go..so stupid me did just that.We didnt get down the road 2 miles when i had to pull over to calm down and think,do i want her at the house with me..i stopped the car,and she grabbed my key out of the ignition,and it bent the key..she started to slapping me and we were going at it and i just got out of the car..she jumped out and came charging at me like she was crazy..this was all new the way she was behaving.most of the time she is only argumentive.I am sorry but i am 55 yr old,and not letting someone i birthed slap me around.I called for the police.They came and i asked what would be the ramifications of her actions and they said til she sobered up.I told them she is on probation.They talked to her,took us to our house to get extra set of keys because she bent mine.I told them i wasnt sure she was coming in.After we went back and got my car,when we drove into driveway she started again.I slapped her back and told her she was not coming in,she is screaming at me that she hates me,i did this to her,im controlling(i think i am),but never do i hear i have a problem and its my faught..it is 30 degrees and she is outside..i will not let her in..i am really to old for this and worn out.And all during this,i had to worry we would her dad, my husband who has to leave going out of town early early in the morning..I was afraid he would hurt her because when she is in your face you just cant tolerate it,its like she is begging to be slapped.We were never parents that spanked like that so this is new.Tomorrow she will be totally diff, but as i sit here,my body is sore from the fighting,but i dont feel bad about making her be outside and i dont feel guilty,just really helpless and no one to talk to.I have contacted the pastor from church and its like people tell you to ask,but that is not true,they become speechless.My family is not a family anymore
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Unread 03-07-2013, 05:20 PM   #2
R. Lee
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CRICKETS, Welcome to the site where you are free to vent with people who have gone through situations like yours.

I speak as a recovering alcoholic who drank for 42 years. As a alcoholic all I care about was myself. I hit my wife for the 1st 1 & 1/2 years. My family intervened & I have never hit a woman again. My anger issues continued & I lost 3 marriages. I was a miserable husbandm father, son, friend & employee.

I have been sober for 8 years. No one could get me sober until I had had enough of myself & could not stand to look at myself any more.

In MI where I live the police would have had no choice but to lock up your daughter when they were called when she slapped you.

You have done all you can do for her. I would sit her down down while she is sober with other family members & tell her in no uncertain terms that if she drinks again she is out the dorr for good. If she stikes you press charges.

She is either going to stop drinking or she is going to end up in jail, insaine, or dead.

You have a right to to a peaceful life. If you enable her to get drunk & not take the action of putting her out on her own she is going to die.

I wish you the best in your decision.
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Unread 03-07-2013, 09:22 PM   #3
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My uneducated opinion, it isn't your daughter you are fighting, it is the alcohol.
The problem is they are one, until SHE decides to fight drinking, you cannot win.
Love her, hate the alcohol. If you can keep them apart in your mind you will have more patience.
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Unread 03-07-2013, 09:23 PM   #4
CRICKET5
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R.Lee,thank you so much for responding..she sobered up and was still argumentive wanting her car keys back..i told her as well as her dad,that if she took the car and left that she was out,no coming back.I told her to get whatever it was she wanted and to pack it up and go. My husband holds back cause she is so petite and he says he worries what might can happen.I have painted the worst senerios for her and it hasnt worked,so she is gone.I cut the phone off and told her that whatever happened,I could live with it because I have been her advocate to sober up til I cant anymore.Our other 2 kids wont come around when she is here,because if she id drinking they will call her out on it and their dad gets defensive for her,and i am sure you know the rest..all out brawl..MY NERVES ARE SHOT! I am going to find an Al-Anon meeting and start attending,and if my marriage fails,oh well,I cant live with this anymore.We dont live in a big town and it is matter of time before she gets ticketed again. What can you do,i am numb..I have no feelings and my own parents cant even talk about this to me,because they said they cant handle the thought of her out being so petite,they want something done but offer no help or even a shoulder to cry on..I have been to all kinds of drs and they just say rehab,even the judge said that,but when she was in some type of rehab,she was sneaky and still drinking..that is when I really discovered she was drinking hairspray..I had no idea people drink that,and when I told the dr he or she only said that is serious..and the reason why I was talking to the dr is because she wasnt honest with them,i asked to speak to them to get it all out to hopefully help..
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Unread 03-07-2013, 10:32 PM   #5
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CRICKETS, I'm glad that you are going to use a support group to help you.

I could not get sober on my own. I wemt 7 months twice & 4 months another time trying to quit. I would alwayse go back.

I stay sober the AA & coming on this site just to offer sugestions to the alcoholic & the families of alcoholics.

I have seen deaths from alcoholism in my family, friends & alcoholics in the program.

No one can make someone get sober. The alcoholic has to want it more than anything else. They have to hit their bottom.

We alcoholic come in all sizes, professions, & we are everywhere.

I pray for the alcoholic that are still out ther so your daughter is in my prayers.

More will come on to help you through this. Stay strong.
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Unread 03-09-2013, 03:46 PM   #6
CRICKET5
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My daughter was seen by one of our children driving last nite and weaving in the road,and she called hysterical and crying that there was not anything she could do but watch..she has such guilt and so do I..the only thing that helps is when i finally go to sleep,but then you wake up to wonder all day and til you fall asleep again, you only inmagine the worse..we havent seen or heard from her in only 2 days,but that last nite
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Unread 03-10-2013, 05:14 AM   #7
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Crickets,

Sorry to hear of your daughter's struggles... Please don't feel guilty, it is not your fault. It is a disease. If I saw my daughter driving drunk I would call the police. Better to have her arrested than have her killed or kill others while driving. Glad to hear you are using a support group. My best to you.

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Unread 03-10-2013, 02:15 PM   #8
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Crickets, Sorry I would have called the police. Her behavior is laying heavy on your marriage & your family.
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Unread 03-10-2013, 05:05 PM   #9
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Cricket5-
You will find others in situations like yours at an Al Anon meeting. It's where you'll find the road to serenity. You must take charge of your own life; your daughter will have to take charge of her own-by herself. You cannot 'love' her into sobriety. It can only be her choice, something you will have to accept. Love yourself enough to get the help you need. Let us know how it goes-you have friends here!
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Unread 03-12-2013, 01:56 AM   #10
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Thank you all for encouraging me,but i am sure you know that the heart still breaks..she did get arrested,and i just found out..i am so numb,and i know its not about me,but i feel like my heart has just broken and i have all these emotions..i am scared to death for her for one,and i have hate now for the system that failed us..i begged the judge to help before it got this far and bad and she only scrugged me off..now what..a waste of life..the only thing the judge said was that i was enabling her,and that is so far from the truth..i had to ask her,what the hell,i am the person for her..i am angry and numb
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Unread 03-12-2013, 08:00 AM   #11
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Hi Cricket5- I hope you will go to an AlAnon meeting. The judge in your daughter's case may not be the best judge, the system may be very broken indeed. But your daughter's choices have gotten her where she is today, not a broken system, not a bad judge, and not anything you've done or not done. You cannot control her disease. Not with love, money or law. You can control yourself. Only. Sorry, that's just truth. I'm sure you believe you can help her, but you cannot. When do you get peace? I tried every avenue to get my husband to quit drinking-pleading, threats, fighting, yelling, crying, worrying so much it nearly killed me. I finally realized I AM POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL. I am not in any way in control over anyone else.You don't have to tell me how hard it is to watch an alcoholic kill themselves. My father drove his car into a backhoe on I95 after many years of heavy drinking. I am thankful that my husband quit before he came to the same end. But I can't stop him if he drinks. Any more than I could have stopped my father. Any more than you can stop your daughter. I know these are harsh words. Please go to a meeting. It may take time, but, trust me, AlAnon saved me.
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Unread 03-12-2013, 11:39 AM   #12
CRICKET5
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I am so sorry for you too,the pain of you having 2 love ones had to be unbearable..before i can even set foot in a room full of people,i have got to cry this out,and be able to control myself..all my life i dreamed of having family and we had a small one,but now,we are not family,just a few hurting people that feel like we failed her..that is what i feel so guilt about is failing her.I knew from when she was about 11 or 12 she was depressed and i shuttled her to drs and tried to learn about depression,but things then are not like now.People didnt or wouldnt talk about mental illness,and the internet was not like it is now. I guess that is most of my guilt,not getting her to someone that could help her before she learned at 19 she could drink and not feel..do you ever feel like you hate everyone around you because they saw this and just turned their heads,and you feel like they could have made a difference or be supportive,but they just didnt want to get involved..my emotions are running the gamut right now
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Unread 03-12-2013, 01:27 PM   #13
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Your child is like your heart walking around outside your body someone once said. That's the truth! I am wishing a better future for you. Cry it out, scream it out, if you must. Just know we're here for you, whatever you decide. My life is much more cheerful now, due to my desire to fix it for myself. AlAnon has been a great support and place to cry and vent. And a lot cheaper than a shrink.
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Unread 03-12-2013, 01:27 PM   #14
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CRICKETS, Be kind to yourself. You are not the blame for your daughter's action.
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Unread 03-12-2013, 04:38 PM   #15
CRICKET5
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It justs hurts so bad,all i can do is cry..you will never know how much i truly appreciate your kind words and help,its like a shoulder to cry on..you all have been my rock to keep me from just going in to my inner self..my husband wont even talk about it,and of course i am not speaking to my family right now,because they never understood..it is my heart walking around Karenina and it is so aching..maybe if she were not so kind to help everyone else and be compassionate for others i would be mad but i see that as a cry for help,and where were everyone when she needed them..i am so trying not to hate people and be mad at God
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Unread 03-13-2013, 01:57 AM   #16
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I talked to someone today and i feel better about not being the enabler..it is just like you said,it is the alcohol that i absolutely hate...
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Unread 03-13-2013, 11:35 AM   #17
R. Lee
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CRICKES, If you enabled her & she killed someone of herself you would have a hard time forgiving yourself. It is easy to be an enabler & it is tough not to be.
Hate the disease & not god.
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Unread 03-13-2013, 01:23 PM   #18
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Cricket5,
Been there, done that with my 31 yr old son. Today, I am HOPING that he goes to jail. He's been there off and on over the last 14 years. I love him dearly, and I have enabled off and on. He's so bad now that his dad has moved out of his own house as he gets violent when he drinks (he's been with his dad since getting out of prison). He has spent many nights in a hotel because of it ... we are divorced because of alcohol, but he functions and holds a job. However, he wanted a son who he could party and drink with, and this is what he got.

When sober my son is quiet. Doesn't really open up. You know when he's drinking as he'll call and be weepy or introspective, etc. "Love you, mom, I always have your back." Yea, right. At a point in his drinking he gets angry and very scary. He tells me (when sober) "I'd never hurt you, mom" but I've come close to being hit and I know it can happen. I've been down this road so many times, I feel sorry for him, and that usually leads to helping him out with gas, truck payment, food, you name it. And it NEVER changes.

I'm reading a good book called Don't Let Your Kids Kill You - I highly recommend it. It's about enabling.

I've decided if my son goes to jail again I won't send any $$ and I won't visit every week. I'll write letters, but I won't accept the outrageously expensive phone calls. He has a court case coming up for violating a restraining order and it's my fault as I called the police one night when he was drunk and headed over to his x-girlfriend's house. I was afraid he would hurt her as he called me screaming about her. And I won't bail him out ... he has cost me way too much $$ that I wouldn't dream of spending on myself or his sister.

Every morning I say a prayer for him and then I live my life the best that I can. And that's all I can do as I am powerless over alcohol.
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Unread 03-14-2013, 12:27 AM   #19
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Denice-it's so hard to deny help to someone you love so much. Tough love alright! It takes courage and a new attitude. Hang in there-while it may feel like hell, there is no other path to serenity.
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Unread 03-14-2013, 11:14 PM   #20
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Cricket,

I feel your pain!! It hurts to see someone you love suffer due to alcoholism. I share your sorrow & frustration. I, too, have an alcoholic husband. He has been in and out of rehab. Presently, he is in rehab. My life has been a rollercoaster. I am sending you hugs and unconditional love. My heart aches for you and your daughter. I know things can always change. Please, keep hope alive. Don't give up!!

You can read my posts over the years. I've seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. Yet, I am holding on to my faith, God, Alanon, and this website. I need them all. This disease can consume us. Take care.

Hawaii
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Unread 03-15-2013, 12:31 AM   #21
CRICKET5
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I want to thank you all for talking with me..it helps tremendously! I dont know if I can do this for many more years,my heart aches so bad..I havent been on because I got a call the other nite after 10pm to please come pick her up..she had found her way to someone she didnt even knows house..they had her keys and said they couldnt let her have them and live with that..I went and it was bad alllll nite here..she is a argumentive drunk,and I just sat in the chair all nite..I know she needs help and that jail wont be it, but neverthe less that is where she is headed,for how long I dont know..as of today what friends she has have deserted her,saying pretty ugly things to her..I cant help but have a heart for her,but I did tell her she brought this on herself and maybe being in jail would be the kick start to her sobering up and then go for real help after she is out.
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Unread 03-15-2013, 12:38 AM   #22
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You all are the only ones I have talked to..she has a court date on Monday,and her dad is going,I just cant. What a loss of such potential, and a once beautiful, compassionate, caring loving person to alcohol.I am scared to death for her,but trying to just live one day at a time until Monday..I have to wonder thou what is God thinking.She has never harmed a flea but yet has such struggles in life and then I see other people doing and being such ugly human beings and their life in good..I keep praying for all of you that are going thru this,and your loved ones and I hope you do the same for us
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Unread 03-15-2013, 08:59 AM   #23
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CRICKETS, Your daughter situation is out of your control. She has to do the work if she wants to get sober. I agree what a loss.
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Unread 03-15-2013, 03:30 PM   #24
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No one should have to endure such heartache,and I am not only talking about the family member,but the alcoholic themselves..I say a special prayer for all thru out the day
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Unread 03-15-2013, 10:09 PM   #25
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CRICKETS, Thanks. I have to work at it to stay sober. I pray for your daughter & you.
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Unread 03-15-2013, 11:23 PM   #26
CRICKET5
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I found out today her insurance will not pay for rehab..what do people do when they need it and financially cannot afford it..this is a dilemma for all people that need it.I am so new to this and I am clueless about these things
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Unread 03-16-2013, 07:00 AM   #27
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Hi CRICKET5, I'm not sure if this will help, but please read this link from the HBO Addiciton Series called "Can't Get Treatment Through Your Health Insurance Plan?"
http://www.hbo.com/addiction/treatme...insurance.html

It's a few years old, but at the time it was done, there was this information:
"Reflecting a broad, national consensus on this issue, between 1973 and 1995, 43 states and the District of Columbia have enacted laws requiring commercial group health insurance to cover treatment for alcohol and other drug addictions."

At the bottom of the page is a section called: "FIVE WAYS TO HOLD YOUR HEALTH PLAN ACCOUNTABLE" which is worth a read.

Also contact your state's Drug and Alcohol Division to see if they have any resources she can utilize. You can find a link to it on this page:
http://www.alcoholanswers.org/resour...ohol-links.cfm

There's also the Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act which "requires group health insurance plans (those with more than 50 insured employees) that offer coverage for mental illness and substance use disorders to provide those benefits in no more restrictive way than all other medical and surgical procedures covered by the plan. The Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act does not require group health plans to cover mental health (MH) and substance use disorder (SUD) benefits but, when plans do cover these benefits, MH and SUD benefits must be covered at levels that are no lower and with treatment limitations that are no more restrictive than would be the case for the other medical and surgical benefits offered by the plan."

http://www.samhsa.gov/healthreform/parity/

You can see if the insurance company is violating that Federal Law.

I hope that this is helpful.

Nancy
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Unread 03-16-2013, 11:24 AM   #28
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Cricket,

My husband is in rehab. and I am not paying for it. He surely isn't able to pay. The rehab center where he is has a counselor that knows his way around the system. Is it possible to get assistance from the rehab center. They can make suggestions. Just talking from my own personal experience. It is worth to inquire. God bless you.

Hawaii
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Unread 03-16-2013, 09:55 PM   #29
CRICKET5
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Nancy thank you so much...as soon as I could click on those sites I was..Monday cant come soon enough where I can speak to someone..I have noticed that in some people on here,their states seem to offer help..here in Alabama,it is just not likely for whatever reason..all I have found so far is outpatient and I am not sure if that is going to be enough to start off with..I much appreciate everyone responding to me and giving me advice and such kind words,you will never know how much it really does help
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Unread 03-21-2013, 08:43 PM   #30
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Hi CRICKET5, did you have any luck in finding treatment for your daughter?

Nancy
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Unread 03-21-2013, 08:56 PM   #31
CRICKET5
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None..our state has a place here that is funded by grants and some state funding,but all they asked was about her insurance and our income..I told them we didnt support her in thinking that would help,but to no avail..another place will not do inpatient and I feel she needs that,but they could deny her and send her to an out of network place,but they havent got back with us..it is like chasing your tail,I am so confused by all of it.When I read their pamplet(THE STATE GRANTED ONE), it states they do not turn anyone away regardless,she must be their first.I am confused.But I havent given up
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Unread 03-22-2013, 08:50 AM   #32
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Cricket5- It would be wonderful to find your daughter an affordable rehab, in the end it is up to her to seek the help she needs. It won't work if it isn't her choice. Is she asking for your help or are you looking for the help hoping she'll take it if you do all the searching? She has to want it. I urge you to understand you are powerless over her drinking. But you can control your actions. Help yourself. At least read some AlAnon literature on the internet. Your daughter's future is in her own hands. Peace.
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Unread 03-24-2013, 09:38 PM   #33
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Friday I received a call that she was at a state funded rehab and that someone had to come get her,she was drunk and they only had 2 choices,call us(family),or an ambulance..they also said it was getting close to 5pm and they had to know within 30 minutes. Of course I went to the center,and she was indeed drunk,but begging them to help her.They told her and myself they had 0 beds available,and that she was on the wait list..she begged them to please help her..they only helped her to my car..they didnt want to deal with her on friday at 4pm. I felt so bad for her because she begged and they just stood there.
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Unread 03-25-2013, 10:00 AM   #34
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Hi CRICKET5, what if you called there today to see what they say about the availability of beds and the wait list. It also makes me wonder what would have happened if you weren't there to drive her home.

Is she still willing to get help now after that?

Nancy
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Unread 03-25-2013, 07:13 PM   #35
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CRICKETS, How did she get there? If she went on her own maybe she has hit her bottom & wants help.
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Unread 03-31-2013, 06:21 PM   #36
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Hello Nancy and R.Lee...1st,yes she drove herself,and I walked into the room and she was slumped over,like sleeping..another lady came and sat down and told her she had 2 options,one to leave in an ambulance or go with me..she started begging for help. This was on Friday..on Tuesaday they called and said there would not be a bed until the middle of April. Now I wish time away,and no one should want to do that in life,but I am.She is still drinking and waiting.I have the keys to the car now and she is NOT getting them back. I have hid them. I went to bake a cake today for Easter,and when I got my vanilla flavoring out to use,it had water in the bottle.This is so serious I dont even know how to deal with it.What else should I hide or pour out.We have no mouthwash,I only use aryesol hair spray,there is no cologne or perfume here.I hid the rubbing alcohol.The only problem about the rehab is,it is only for 21 to 30 days,with intensive therapy after.Is that enough?
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Unread 03-31-2013, 06:38 PM   #37
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So you think if she went and was begging them,even thou she was sitting there drunk,she was really wanting the help? She has been drinking and I have looked to see where she might have alcohol hid,but to no avail.My husband found about 5 empty wine bottles and 6 24 oz beer cans on our property line,under some bushes. They have not been there long because he like myself looks constantly.As of midnight it is April.
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Unread 03-31-2013, 06:41 PM   #38
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Hi Crickets: I have read your posts, in response to the 21-30 days being enough, well if she truly wants to stop drinking, possibly. If she doesn't then no. There are aftercare centers, outpatient, etc., when she gets done with rehab. She will need support, 12 steps and counseling will give that to her. I will pray for you both. God Bless and Happy Holiday. Julie
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Unread 03-31-2013, 07:21 PM   #39
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Hi CRICKET5, is it possible for her to get on a waiting list in case someone drops off before the middle of April? We have a member on the opiate forum who went for help and has to wait until the middle of April for an appointment and a bed might be another week away after that. It's so aggravating that people who are actively looking to get better are put on lists to wait. It's just hard to imagine you having to sit there and watch your daughter drink while waiting. This link on Alcohol Poisoning has a list of items:
http://www.alcoholanswers.org/alcoho...-poisoning.cfm
Do you know how she is getting the alcohol - is she contacting people to drop it off for her out in yard? Does she have a cell phone or computer access?

Because she went to the inpatient facility on her own hopefully is a good indication that she wants to stop. Hopefully they will keep her for the 30 days and arrange for aftercare either in a sober living facility or intensive outpatient. When it comes time for her to go into treatment, will your daughter sign a waiver allowing you to check on her progress?

One things to be very watchful of if she does stop drinking completely right now is alcohol withdrawals. If there are signs of it, get her to the hospital right away because those can be life threatening. Here's a link explaining what they are:
http://www.alcoholanswers.org/alcoho...withdrawal.cfm

Please take care of yourself.

Nancy
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Unread 04-08-2013, 12:48 AM   #40
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What a long week..she conned my mother into putting 100 dollars into her checking acct.,then getting on the internet and getting a ride..no telling how much she had to give that person..she was sober at 745pm and whoever dropped her off at 11pm absolutely wasted..she left on the pretense that she was going to AA..so when she knocked on the door I opened it..she walked into the foyer and fell down on the stairs and stayed there.That was this past friday.Saturday, she did the same..today,the same except she walked. My husband and I were trying to play it down because her brother and sister were here,and when she is drunk,all hell breaks loose. Well, long story short,she was drinking,730 pm approaching,just finished eating,she has been banned to outside,and lo and behold a car pulls up into our driveway. I walked outside,with my cellphone and told the 2 males that I was taking a picture of their tag and them to give to the judge for coming to do what they know better and that is to take her to get alcohol..at that time everyone is out there and my other daughter is screaming at them and my husbsnd tells them to leave and they better not ever come near our home again..It made me sick to think of what could have just been thwarted,my mind and my stomach get sick ..thursday is court,I hope they put her in jail,because that is the only thing that is going to get her away from alcohol..I dont think the state rehab is what she is wanting to do,I think she was using that to keep from jail,actually I believe that...
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Unread 04-10-2013, 01:16 PM   #41
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Nancy,yesterday my daughter went to meet with the state to go into detox and rehab and they ended up calling me and asking me to come get her..they said her insurance wouldnt pay for some places or there were waiting lists..I asked,but never got an answer to 'what about all of the people that do not have insurance,you find them a place,so pretend she doesnt have any'..I told them I was not coming to get her because I couldnt take it anymore and she had come to them for help..I received a call a few hours later saying that she had called a friend to come get her and stay ..is our state wrong not to help,since they are state agencies mental health why are they giving the run around..I am so sick of hearing we close at 5pm
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Unread 04-10-2013, 02:28 PM   #42
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Hi CRICKET5, what kind of insurance does your daughter have? Maybe she should just not say she has insurance because realistically, she really doesn't have insurance if she doesn't have that coverage. I can't believe they keep sending her away with no referrals, or instructions on what to do.

You posted earlier that you're in Alabama - I found this pdf of treatment places, in case there's a different one nearby she can go to and just not mention insurance.
http://www.mh.alabama.gov/downloads/...mDirectory.pdf

It's from the Division of Mental Health & Substance Abuse Services site.
http://www.mh.alabama.gov/SA/?sm=d

They have a "Need Help?" phone number: 1-800-367-0955 maybe it's worth calling and asking them what she should do. Emphasizing that she has tried twice to go into rehab.

I would also call Dr. Beverly Bell-Shambley, the Associate Commissioner of the division and see what she has to say. I found her phone number in the contact section: (334) 242-3952

Contact page that has an email link:
http://www.mh.alabama.gov/UT/ContactUs.aspx

One more thing would be to call the United Way 211 line. They are supposed to provide help and referrals for all different types of services. Each state has their own, so you would be getting answers for Alabama:
http://www.211connectsalabama.org/

I'm at a loss on why they won't at least tell her/you where she can go or what she needs to do to get help.

I hope that's helpful for now. I'll keep looking to see if there's anything else I can find.

Nancy
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Unread 04-20-2013, 01:33 AM   #43
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Well,she is in jail.She doesnt seem to be to very upset about that and the reason being is,a week ago this past tuesday when the mental health called for me to come and i did not go,she called a sponsor from AA..that was the best decision.She prob didnt drink,went to meetings,and they helped her to come to this resolve..she called from jail,ask me to call mental health and tell them as soon as she gets out she wants to go on to rehab or do extensive sessions plus AA..I believe AA is the best..my husband,her dad,is telling the ole boyfriend he best stay away,which should have happened before now...i pray she is on the right track..so i guess she will detox in jail..the one positive about that is I know the dr that is the jail's physician and he knows she is there and all the history...she has 3 really great sponsors working on her, and hopefully she will take advantage of their 'been there,done that' and look how they are thriving without addiction
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Unread 04-20-2013, 07:27 AM   #44
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Hi CRICKET5, hopefully this will be her bottom and she is serious about AA and rehab/outpatient when she is out of jail. That's great that you know the doctor at the jail and he knows her history.

I'll keep my fingers crossed that she does indeed follow through.

Keep us posted when you can.

Nancy
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Unread 04-20-2013, 02:29 PM   #45
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CRICKETS, Like Nancy said maybe she has reached her bottom. I hope she follows up with rehab & then a support group.
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Unread 04-20-2013, 11:31 PM   #46
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Best of luck Cricket. I pray as well she is serious. It is very easy to become humble in jail, been there done, that, but by the Grace of God this is the bottom she needed! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Julie
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Unread 05-01-2013, 11:30 PM   #47
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Well all, she is there..is it awful to feel some relief that she is there? I feel like at least I know where she is and she is getting help from the jail physician,and I talked to him and he has her on celexa for now. I have actually just relaxed because I was always sitting on the edge waiting for the phone to ring.I want all of you to know how much I appreciate each and everyone for being a support I so need and needed.I pray for all of you and everyone's circumstances.Cricket
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Unread 05-02-2013, 06:50 AM   #48
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Hi CRICKET5, no, I don't think it's awful to feel relief that you know where she is and that she's safe and getting some help. Do you know how long she will be there for?

I'm glad you're able to relax and regroup. Please keep us posted on what's going on when you can.

Nancy
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Unread 05-02-2013, 12:36 PM   #49
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At least 6 more weeks,and then she can go from there straight to a 30 day rehab..she says that is her plan..my husband and I go see her on her 1 visiting day that is allowed for 45 mins..she tells us that she is reading alot,which she always enjoyed. She may call twice a week. I mean I am actually able to relax and just relax! Thank you Nancy!
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Unread 05-02-2013, 03:48 PM   #50
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Hi again, hopefully she will follow through with in patient directly after she gets out. If she's reading, do you think that a book on addiction would be something she'd read? This is a pretty good one. "Healing the Addicted Brain" by Dr. Harold Urschel
http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Addict...addicted+brain

It's a good read, very understandable, which makes it so much easier.

I'll keep my fingers crossed that she's had enough and will carry through.

For you, keep relaxing!

Nancy
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