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Unread 03-13-2012, 01:30 AM   #51
dr4196
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Having a sleeping issue (can't get any), but still on the Valium. Things are moving forward and I seem to be more ok with this sobriety thing. My husband and I are going to go to counseling which is also putting me at ease. Was a good day today
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Unread 03-13-2012, 12:18 PM   #52
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dr, That is better news on your husband & you going to counseling. Keep moving forward one day at a time.
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Unread 03-13-2012, 11:28 PM   #53
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Thanks Lee...I really am trying. had a setback today with my family and bought a beer, brought it home and still it's sitting on my counter. I'm so confused about the good days/bad days thing. I woke up feeling good, thought I was having an ok day..then boom, I'm at the liquor store and I just couldn't help myself. i don't want to drink it, but I do...does that make sense? holding on though....
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Unread 03-14-2012, 11:47 AM   #54
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dr, Pour the beer out. Think that 1st drink through.
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Unread 03-14-2012, 02:39 PM   #55
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I ended up throwing it in the garbage...All of these words on this post kept going through my head. I'm so glad I did.
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Unread 03-14-2012, 03:11 PM   #56
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Dear dr4196,

It sounds like imo you need some form of outside support, you posted that the SW gave you some referrals, can you call them? Check out the links again to see if any of the free support groups interest you. You can look at it like one hour, and who knows you may even like it ? Good to hear that you and husb are going to work on marriage.
All of this is a process, I could not have done it alone, some people can - i never was one of them. Please keep trying and keep an open mind. Take care, Carly
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Unread 03-15-2012, 10:51 AM   #57
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dr4196 View Post
I ended up throwing it in the garbage...All of these words on this post kept going through my head. I'm so glad I did.

dr, Good job. Think through the 1st drink.
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Unread 03-16-2012, 04:22 PM   #58
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Dear dr1496,

Just checking on you - hope all is going well and that you are feeling better physically and otherwise ! Take care, Carly
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Unread 03-17-2012, 11:14 AM   #59
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I'm doing ok. Last night was the first night that I actually slept all night, so woke up feeling pretty rested. Going to my 1st AA meeting tonight with my husband. Actually looking forward to it.
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Unread 03-17-2012, 03:36 PM   #60
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dr, Good luck. You are doing the right thing. We don't have to get sober by ourselves. Get phone numbers for your toolbox, so you can call someone if you want to drink or just talk about life.
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Unread 03-18-2012, 02:13 AM   #61
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Dear dr4196,
Isn't that a great feeling to actually sleep through the night : ) and you are going to a support group- sounds like Progress imo !
I hope it goes well, remember there are all types of meetings ( see links) the main thing is you are doing the WORK to figure out a plan.
Keep an open mind, remember whatever type of meeting you go to , they understand what you are going through. IMO- you can have an awesome support system if you want it . I believe our disease isolates us, to the point that we merely go through the motions of everyday life... not sure if you have been through that - just sharing that until I met others, I lived that life and change is so scary but in time I was actually having fun again. Anyway, I am so glad you are feeling better and trying new options!
Congrats and keep us posted, take care, Carly
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Unread 03-19-2012, 08:54 PM   #62
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Ok...went to 2 different AA meetings this weekend. Not for me...it was all a little weird. I have a support group to go to Thursday night through a local clinic here. I will keep trying to find something to fit. I am having a harder time today with the drinking than the last week though. Went to the grocery store and spent 15 minutes in the alcohol aisle just looking. I miss it, I don't know why....I want it and also don't know why. It has caused me nothing but harm and I lost alot of sober time I could have had. This is a very hard thing to do and it's hard to explain to someone who is not suffering from this why it is. They all say "just stop" and things like "what is your problem?" I myself don't really understand the feelings and things I'm going through, but damnit I'm trying...
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Unread 03-20-2012, 08:36 AM   #63
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dr1496,

No most peoply don't know what it's like because they can drink normally. That's why people trying to get sober are encouraged to spend time around those that have gotten sober and have been there. Alcohol has been a part of your life, something to lean on when needed, something to do because that's what we do when we drink. It's physically and mentally addictive. But it is poison to an alcoholic. My counselor when I asked the secret to staying sober told me, "just don't drink". It's as simple and as hard as that!

Learn about your disease, learn what has worked for others, learn what works for you. It takes work but it can be done!!!!

Wish you the best!

Stay Strong,
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Unread 03-20-2012, 02:22 PM   #64
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dr, Simple answere to your questions. You are an alcoholic that is why you miss & want to drink. Stay away from wet places & people.
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Unread 03-20-2012, 04:35 PM   #65
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Dear dr1496,

In addition to what the others posted - You have been through a lot, physically and emotionally. It sounds like you are grieving the loss of alcohol as it played a role in your life. I remember walking around feeling as if someone had died, it was explained that grieving the loss of your substance of choice is as real as losing someone dear to you. So, go through the grieving process, imo- the stages vary but can be anger, denial, depression , bargaining and Finally you Can reach Acceptance.

Meetings take a while to find what works, but you posted you went for someone else. For me I had to go, eventually I found a great group of people. I got tired of being so lonely and miserable. I utilize a combination of supports and medication now.
There are groups like Rational Recovery, SMART recovery, even meetings online and others in the support links.
In the links I also gave you a link for Medication assisted therapy- some have found it helps cravings. Maybe you could discuss this with your doctor?

Hang in there, this is a process, I had little hope my first go round, ( before on line peer support ) but I just kept at it putting one foot in front of the other, staying in the moment, venting and it did get better- Much Better !

Hope your days will get better soon, sometimes we have to feel our feelings, go through the dark tunnel to get to the other side , the path that will lead to a peaceful, happy life, you deserve it ! That is my sincere wish for you : )
Keep us posted and take care, Carly
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Unread 03-20-2012, 10:02 PM   #66
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Thx carly...I did actually go to the meetings for me, my husband went with me so I wouldn't have to go alone. I just really felt uncomfortable with the dynamic of it. I am not a shy person by any means so I guess maybe I will have to try different support systems to see what fits for me. I have heard some people also say that AA wasn't right for them, so at least I'm not alone in that. I really am going to look into the medication therapy, I've been doing alot of reading about it. Thanks for checking on me all of you and supporting me through this tough time...
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Unread 03-21-2012, 03:11 PM   #67
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dr, What ever way you chose just think that 1st drink through. We are recovering alcoholics so I'm just here cheering for you.
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Unread 03-23-2012, 05:32 PM   #68
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Dear dr1496,

You are right AA is not for everyone, in the links I posted is the info about other support groups, other treatment options, and the medications like Vivitrol that might help you with cravings.
I hope you feeling better physically and mentally, emotionally.
IMO - keep an open mind and don't give up ! Take care , Carly
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Unread 03-27-2012, 05:11 PM   #69
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Dear dr1496,

Just checking in with you, hope you are doing well, keep us posted and take care, Carly
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Unread 03-28-2012, 01:42 AM   #70
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Hello dr,
Just curious if you have had any experience with any other peer support groups like SMART recovery? It may be worth looking into and while their meetings are not as saturated as 12 step groups, many people enjoy SMART. There is also Rational Recovery, SOS, Recovery Inc. and others.
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Unread 04-05-2012, 06:21 PM   #71
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Been a while since I posted. It's been a rough time for me. Someone very close to me commited suicide. Been drinking for days now and I just can't stop. I need some sort of help and I can no longer do it on my own...I have not had anything to drink since yesterday, but I am hurting emotionally and don't know what to do. I would like to go to a support group, but don't really want to share all of the pain I'm going through as it is so personal
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Unread 04-05-2012, 07:03 PM   #72
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Dear dr4196,

I am very sorry to hear of your loss, if you cannot share here or in a group , maybe try a professional ? - you have lots feedback from before, maybe go back through your this thread, check out the links and the feedback. If you want to share some general feelings, we are here for you.
Grief is a process, hang in there and again, my condolences to you.
Take care, Carly
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Unread 04-05-2012, 08:53 PM   #73
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dr4196, I'm sorry for your loss.
I sponcer a alcoholic that I have know since I got sober. He has been in & out of jail ever since I have known him for alcohol & drug use.
He has been sober for a year now. During this last year his alcoholic his father commited suicide by shooting himself in the head. He shared his grief with me & at meetings.
dr never stop trying to stop drinking. That someone very close to you would not like to see you die from drinking.
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Unread 04-06-2012, 04:15 PM   #74
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Quote:
I would like to go to a support group, but don't really want to share all of the pain I'm going through as it is so personal
Yes, it is personal and I am truly sorry for your loss. How about you try not adding "but" to your words above? What remains is, "I would like to go to a support group." Of course what you are experiencing is personal, and everyone else at any support group will have a personal story also. The reason you go is to get support from people who understand. You don't have to tell anyone anything you don't want to, the most someone would know is that you experienced loss. This way you get something you need without laying your vulnerability on the table.

Losing someone you care for is hard enough, attempting to drink away your pain will only prolong your sorrow and cause more problems. An old friend of mine was killed by someone under the influence of meth and alcohol two years ago, then my niece overdosed exactly two years ago this coming Monday. I remember being at her wake and watching others pass around pills and booze while I stood there sober. Part of me wanted to join them, but a bigger part of me knew that is what put my niece in her coffin. A year before they passed, a friend of mine committed suicide. It was so much loss and it hurt like hell, but I don't want to numb the pain anymore because it always resurfaces, usually worse. I miss each of them terribly, but I know they are now at peace. We may never understand why and we cannot keep trying to figure it out because we never will. Surround yourself with people you love and remember the person you lost in their best light. Now more than ever you need to let yourself heal.
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Unread 04-08-2012, 02:43 PM   #75
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Dear dr4196,
Just checking on you, always remember you can vent here . Please don't get me wrong, I would love it if everyone seeking help, would use the info we provide on this site and start their journey, keep an open mind when it comes to supports, help...
From your posts, you have had stops and starts and imo that is often what it takes. I remember the utter misery I was in , yet continued on my path of self -destruction, excuses, denial and all that comes with it... until serious consequences caught up with me - I would not wish that on anyone. Know that everyone is pulling for you and don't give up trying.
Take care, Carly
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Unread 04-10-2012, 09:12 PM   #76
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I appreciate all of your advice and feedback. I really am trying. Some setbacks, but my heart is in the right place. Been keeping very busy and just focusing on how short life is and how I should really appreciate it. Thank you again
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Unread 04-10-2012, 09:49 PM   #77
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dr1496,

Sorry for your loss.

The emotions make it tough to not pick up but it is partly because we drink to perhaps escape those emotions.... It's best to deal with life on life's terms, with a clear head. You're on the right path, keep working it.

Again, sorry for your loss.

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Unread 04-10-2012, 10:49 PM   #78
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Thank you Saint, I'm just trying to move forward with a better outlook
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Unread 04-11-2012, 09:05 PM   #79
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dr1496,
Hi - Early on I needed to focus all my energy on working towards sobriety, learning about the disease, learning about myself in the process. I was going through a divorce, very emotional and difficult time for me : ). Keep your goals in mind every day, every minute if you need to. I believe we can become what we think about, work towards. Sobriety isn't free for us. I takes work but the effort is worth it.

Stay Strong - you're worth it!

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Unread 04-13-2012, 02:09 PM   #80
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Dear dr1496,

I am glad to see an update from you. How are you doing physically as when you first posted you had some health issues. I hope that is resolved.
The grief process takes time, and it sounds like your recent loss may have been a stumbling block , hang in there, keep venting and posting. Most of all don't give up ! Take care, Carly
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Unread 05-04-2012, 01:26 AM   #81
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It's been awhile. Since my last post my Mother in Law had a massive stroke and is now living with us. I haven't had much time to be online (or drink for that matter), but I have had a few here and there. I still am working through the whole "not drinking at all" thing. It's hard.
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Unread 05-06-2012, 08:22 AM   #82
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Hi dr, just to let you know you are not alone on the sleeping thing, I have the same problem. Went to sleep at 10:00 pm last night but woke at 2:30 am and haven't been back to bed. They say don't let yourself get tired, but if I don't sleep enough, I feel like junk all day, and if I nap, it just keeps the problem rolling along. Melatonin helps me to fall asleep, but waking up in the middle of the night is a real problem. Good luck.

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Unread 05-06-2012, 06:02 PM   #83
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Dear dr,

I am so Sorry to read about your MIL's stroke, I hope she is getting better. From your post you have a lot on your plate, and it must feel overwhelming. I am sure you are busy but how are you holding up ? Caring for a loved one , especially in your home is a major life change /event. Do you have help ? I am thinking you just had a recent loss and now are caring for your MIL :
Maybe now would be a good time to seek some form of support, you have posted the supports you are not interested in but if you check the links, the treatment locator maybe there is something /someone that you could try and see how it goes, at least it could be extra support.
A tough lesson I had to learn is that there will always be life issues to deal with - learning to deal with them in an achohol free and healthy way is important and doable.

Please take care of yourself, sending prayers for your MIL's recovery from her stroke and post when you have time. Take care, Carly
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Unread 05-14-2012, 01:01 AM   #84
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Dear dr,

Just wanted to touch base and hope you had a nice weekend. Hang in there, take care of yourself, Carly
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Unread 05-14-2012, 09:49 AM   #85
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Just a smile to brighten your day!
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Unread 05-14-2012, 12:55 PM   #86
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Thank you everyone. Things are hard, but good for the most part. My MIL is slowly trying to recover so I'm totally focused on helping her at this point. I have to care for her like I do with my 4 year old so it's like having a new child in the house. I am working on alot of internal things with my new therapist which has been SUCH a relief for me. 12 days now with no drink. Pretty proud, but know it's still a long road ahead
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Unread 05-14-2012, 07:57 PM   #87
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dr1496,

Don't make it a long road....... take it one step at a time and it becomes much more manageable. And it helps that you're heading in the right direction!

I wish you well,
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Unread 05-14-2012, 09:48 PM   #88
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dr1496, 12 days is great. Take it 1 day at a time.
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Unread 05-15-2012, 06:58 PM   #89
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Dear dr1496,
I am so relieved to see that your MIL is recovering. And Congrats to you on what you are accomplishing, that you have someone who is helping work through your issues. You must be very busy so thanks for updating us, take care and the best to you and your family. Take good care, Carly
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Unread 06-02-2012, 11:25 PM   #90
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Dear dr1496,
It's been a while and I wanted to check on you. I hope that your MIL is doing better . How are you doing? Just wanted you to know we are here for you.
Take care, Carly
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Unread 06-04-2012, 09:24 PM   #91
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Default congrats

i think that is awesome that you are confronting this....i wish i had when i was your age, i am now 53 and really wish i had started a journey towards recovering earlier...i am only two days in, but taking it day by day...i wish you health and happiness.
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Unread 06-04-2012, 10:29 PM   #92
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Iray, I drank for 42 years. I got sober 2 & 1/2 months shy of being 61. I regret nothing now because it took what it took for me to find sobriety. Now I can look at myself in the mirror & like what I see. I can't stay sober alone. I have to be around recovering people like you to remind where I came from. We can stay sober working together.
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Unread 06-18-2012, 02:55 PM   #93
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I am sick, very sick...can someone come help me????ll
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Unread 06-18-2012, 03:57 PM   #94
Frankie
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Originally Posted by dr4196 View Post
I am sick, very sick...can someone come help me????ll
Hi dr

I can't give advice as that should be from others here who have some time in, and have been where you are at now (we all have!), but from an outsiders perpective seeing that counseling, willpower etc. is not working out too well, maybe rehab? I know that you are hurting something awful now, and most all here know exactly what nightmare you are going through and we all care. Just some thoughts.

Frank
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Unread 06-18-2012, 06:52 PM   #95
PrincessDi
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Dr 4196 Where are you?????Please come back....Please let us know how you are doing.....Sending Angels to watch over you...Di
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Unread 06-19-2012, 02:22 PM   #96
dr4196
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I am broken...I feel like I'm dying inside...I need HELP!
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Unread 06-19-2012, 02:36 PM   #97
CarlyO
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I am broken...I feel like I'm dying inside...I need HELP!
Dear dr4196,

What is going on? Please share with us, the last post you were dealing with loss and trying to stop drinking. I know sometimes it becomes so overwhelming that we become almost paralyzed , afraid to move in any direction. If you cannot take action like some form of support ( I gave you the link for the treatment locator in your area and others types of support) If you cannot do that now, Try taking baby steps, posting, talking to a close a friend, anything to get you unstuck. I am going on little info here so I hope you will come back, so many people are pulling and care about you !

Take Care, Carly
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Unread 06-19-2012, 09:59 PM   #98
R. Lee
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dr, As Carly said what is going on? We are here for you to share.
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Unread 06-20-2012, 10:07 PM   #99
dr4196
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I was hospitilized for heart attack symptoms ...seems just to be severe panic disorder....I am hurting and I don't know why...they put me on all this damn meds and I don't know what the hell it is or why....so I'm just moving day by day and not happily....
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Unread 06-21-2012, 04:30 PM   #100
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Dear dr4196,
I was reading the last posts from April, you were drinking, in a lot of emotional pain. dr4196, it sounds like things are not getting better. Do you have anyone to talk to, a professional, a counselor, or even a friend who you can be totally honest with about what you are going through?
I am worried about you, especially if you mix the alcohol with medicines, that is so dangerous. If you want to share more about what is going on I hope you will. You see from the feedback that we care, but have little info to go on. I hope you will trust someone because going back and reading your posts, it sounds like you are going through a rough time.
Hang in there, take care, Carly
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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