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Unread 11-19-2015, 03:10 PM   #1
JulietsJewels
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Default 2 days but determined to quit!

Hello, Im new and just looking for support and encouragement. Ive been an Alcoholic for 8 years now - i ruined an 18 year marriage Before i started drinking - and found that drinking helped me cope with my losses - marraige, home, and full custody of my son ..now all these years later im dealing with some health problems from drinking .
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Unread 11-19-2015, 03:47 PM   #2
Tryntryagain
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Good evening JulietsJewels! Bright blessings to you.

Welcome! Welcome to this incredible family.

Yup, you surely have some history going on there for you. Here we all support each other with all are bits and bobs, our whatnots and neverminds.

Just 1 thing.......2 days...."BUT?" ....determined to quit?

I want you to know 2 days....."AND" i'm gonna quit. 1 day at a time you can surely do this. You have custody of your boy, health problems, (i share and others share their health problems here) and i hear you when you say i'm looking for some support, encouragement.

(Do you know what that really looks like??...YOU CAN DO IT!)

Good on you. How wonderful it is to have you alongside us.

I look forward to getting to know you. In the meantime, well done. It can be bloody hard work in the early days. You are doing just fine.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you JulietsJewels
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Unread 11-19-2015, 04:24 PM   #3
gmasusie
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You are 1/2 way through the roughest part! Stay with us. You can do this!
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Unread 11-19-2015, 04:50 PM   #4
JulietsJewels
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Thanks for the encouraging words...no i do not have full custody of my son, as a mother this has really caused enormous guilt - hence the drinking . I say Two days and determined since i really dont drink everyday, and have quit before ...only to have a relapse a begin to binge drink - this is my problem - binge drinking . This time will be different because ...this is the first time im seeking help online and in person tomorrow at a outpatient clinic
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Unread 11-19-2015, 05:12 PM   #5
JulietsJewels
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Default Would like support today

Only day two ...very new to forums - posted a few threads. Tomorrow I go to the outpatient clinic . Would love some tips to deal with the anxiety that ill most likely experience this evening
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Unread 11-19-2015, 05:16 PM   #6
JulietsJewels
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Default First time in stressful situation without a shot ...

I have a meeting with my daughters teacher today - normally id buy a couple shots to deal with it ..any suggestions on how to deal with anxiety/nervousness?
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Unread 11-19-2015, 06:36 PM   #7
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Hi JulietsJewels, welcome. When you go to the outpatient clinic tomorrow, make sure you tell them about your anxiety issues and that you'd like to learn ways to handle it. One thing that might be helpful that has worked for others is being cognizant of your breathing and taking deep breaths.

This was recently posted in another thread about anxiety:

Quote:
Originally Posted by gmasusie View Post
Try the mindful breathing to help reduce anxiety. These are a few herbs that help some: passionflower, valerian, chamomile, lavender, and lemon balm. Don't let it be a reason to drink.
For some an antihistamine like benedryl can also help.

If I may ask, how long had you been drinking before you stopped?

Nancy
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Unread 11-19-2015, 07:35 PM   #8
JulietsJewels
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Thank you ill get benedryll today...I actually did well at meeting with teacher . I feel very excited to keep going . ITs nice to know ill get feedback to help me thru this !
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Unread 11-19-2015, 09:40 PM   #9
gmasusie
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JJ, It's wonderful to have motivation like a son to help you do this. Tell us what you are experiencing, and we will try to help.
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Unread 11-20-2015, 10:05 AM   #10
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JJ,

I know it's hard. I have 2 children myself and have quit before as well. I did it for 7 months the first time and then relapsed on a total binge. Been dealing with depression for several years on and off for about a decade or so. My son was diagnosed on the autism spectrum, which gave me cause to drink.

I thought I could just take 1 drink and be done but it doesn't work like that with me. I've been on antidepressants for about a full month and it helps me cope with anxiety and what not. Everyday issues. I've just joined this group as well and have found it very helpful. We are all here for you and to vent as to just let it out. As it is sometimes hard to do.

Lots of hugs sent your way!

M2
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Unread 11-20-2015, 10:37 AM   #11
R. Lee
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JJ, Welcome to the site. You sould like most of us when we 1st. started our journey on getting sober.

I am 72 today & did not get sober until I was 60. I drank for 42 years. I had tried to stop many times. It never worked & I was resigned to the fact that I could never stop for good.

I belong to this site & a group of recovering alcoholics. I have learned from suggestions that I only have to worry about staying sober for today. So, I suggest stay in today, think through that 1st. urge to drink & you will be fine.

Have a great day.
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Unread 11-20-2015, 11:06 AM   #12
gmasusie
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RLee is right. I drank for 50 years, only stopped 14 1/2 months ago. My only regret is that I wasn't sober for my husband and children all those years. You have a chance to do something now. Go for it! You'll find every challange in life is so much easier when you're sober.
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Unread 11-20-2015, 01:06 PM   #13
JulietsJewels
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Still here and Sober going thru hell with husband ...but feeling good ! Not waking up sick with a hangover !
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Unread 11-20-2015, 01:11 PM   #14
JulietsJewels
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Not sure if Thanks for all the kind motivating words , means more than you know !
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Unread 11-20-2015, 01:50 PM   #15
Tryntryagain
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Good evening JulietsJewels. Bright blessings to you.

Oh wow.....wow...wow...wow!

Energy is pouring out of you. Do not let it disappear into "thin air". Capture that energy....why?.....

That would be you Juliet.

Motivation is a 2 way street. It flows out of us, and we wait....and wait....our best foot..we put forward. Being all we can be, being all that we are is a munching wonderfulness of life its very self.

Life is a veritable meal, for us starving and hungry folk looking to express, communicate and reach out.

So we do, and what do we get?

Another "go". Another chance to be who we really are.

No drugs, no alcohol, just us......isn't it tempting to say, "us on our lonesome?"

This family means there will be troubles and tribulations as we make our way, yet never.....never lonesome.

I believe, (my experience here) is that we are lonesome souls looking for a home we can call ourselves, "us".

In the early days i would read back what i wrote to others here and i thought.....knock me down with a feather....that's me!

Honesty. It hurts to start with, then it becomes the "bricks and mortar" that makes me....ummm...me? The i realised that "me" was the house inwhich i lived. As any home, i had love, i had troubles, and tribulations....then i thought....this is "life".

Oooppsss, not terribly good at this.....can someone help me please?

Here i have found love, respect, wisdom, experience, understanding and compassion. I thought it only belonged to others.

Nope those beautiful qualities belonged to me too. I was allowed to be loved. I was allowed to love.

I came here a mess that had a week left to live if lucky. I was drinking litres before breakfast.

I googled, "HELP!!" i found this family.

I fell head first into this amazing family's front door banging my head....looked up and there was Carly, dear Saint and my dear R Lee.

All i wanted to do was "tell, tell, tell" what was going on for me.

When i had spilled all my beans, i started to listen. Tryn has cried for himself so, so many times. Then ...all of a sudden i read the lives of others. Ok maybe the otherside of the world, yet, yet, i loved them so.

Today, i have brothers and sisters around the world that share courage and weaknesses with me as i go on my way.

I found honesty, to me that looked like what i really felt inside of me. Goodness me i hurt. I still do. Yet JulietJewels my hurt was shared by so, so many others.

I adore them now.

A day at a time my brothers and sisters saved my life. Up to me now. However i go on my journey now......with.....

all the love in this incredible world. Here is the quintessential breath of life where we all thought we were taking our last breaths.

Not at all. Just taking a gulp.....time for change.

How quite wonderful.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to ou JulietsJewels.
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Unread 11-20-2015, 04:15 PM   #16
JulietsJewels
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Wow! What beautiful words trytryagain ! I feel warm and secure knowing others truly understand ! And I don't have to have a drink to fill in that empty hole in my heart ...I'm feeling stronger than I ever have before- that's why its different this time I'm ready ...to quit drinking, to be healthy and eventually leave this abusive marriage!!!! much love to you ! By the way I wasn't able to make my clinic appointment since my husband took the keys to the car so that I can't use it - he also bought a 12 pack of beer last might to tempt me today ..but I'm not giving in TODAY!
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Unread 11-20-2015, 04:25 PM   #17
lostdog
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Hi Juliet, and welcome, I will try and support you the best I can. Best wishes, everyone here is very nice and we vent what we feel. I hope for you a sober day today.
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Unread 11-20-2015, 05:52 PM   #18
JulietsJewels
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Very nice of you ! Need all the support I can get this evening - Friday night .
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Unread 11-20-2015, 05:53 PM   #19
JulietsJewels
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Thank you so very much for your experience - extremely helpful
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Unread 11-20-2015, 05:56 PM   #20
JulietsJewels
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Yes I actually have 3 children but he was my second child - only 6 when his dad and I divorced ...had depression and was in the hospital so I wasnt considered fit to have him full time ! My oldest at the time was 16 ...

I see that its never to late to find yourself and experience freedom and peacefulness

Still learning how to use this forum ..lol! My cell phone isn't helping . Anyway I hope everyone see s that I'm thankful and appreciate of your support ! This evening/night will be hard ! I'm starting to feel empty ...my husband and are not talking ...I'm not gonna have a drink like I usually do when this happens .
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Unread 11-20-2015, 09:05 PM   #21
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JulietsJewels

Welcome to the forum...

Stay strong. Keep your mind engaged in things...watch TV...take it one moment at a time and be easy...don't drink whatever it takes...Friday's can be hard in the beginnings...eat candy and food....

You may feel empty and bored and lots of time on hands when you are not drinking.....organize the house, exercise, eat food, go for walk...drive around...just don't drink...

Have a great evening...
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Unread 11-21-2015, 11:10 AM   #22
R. Lee
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JJ, way to go staying strong.

Glad you realize you do not have to stay married to a abusive husband.

Have a great day.
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Unread 11-21-2015, 01:49 PM   #23
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How are you?, hope your day is going well!
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Unread 11-23-2015, 03:13 PM   #24
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Hey JJ, how's it going?
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Unread 11-23-2015, 11:15 PM   #25
JulietsJewels
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Doing OK ...did drink some ...the weekend was difficult ! And I was suppose to go to the clinic but my husband took the car from me ...I need to get to the clinic this week - I'm still determined although I already messed up !
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Unread 11-23-2015, 11:46 PM   #26
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This is not easy. But tomorrow is a new day.

You can do it. You're worth it.
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Unread 11-24-2015, 08:06 AM   #27
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you didnt mess up JJ, i have learnt to not think that way, it doesnt help and it just makes the cycle more difficult to get out of!

Sorry your husband is taking your car keys. Can a friend give you a lift? Or is their a bus to take?

peace xx
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Unread 11-24-2015, 10:31 AM   #28
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JJ, Think through that next drink. You can put boundaries on how your husband behaves.
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Unread 11-24-2015, 11:17 AM   #29
JulietsJewels
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Thank you all for the kind words ! I'm not giving up! Have a Dr s appointment this week and do have a back up ride
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Unread 11-25-2015, 12:52 PM   #30
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Good for you, JJ. Hang in there!
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Unread 11-26-2015, 12:53 AM   #31
gmasusie
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Good on, JJ.
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Unread 01-08-2016, 10:44 PM   #32
JulietsJewels
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(This post was copied from the links thread)

I did the same thing ! I recently quit drinking but found myself miserable ! Although I too had a bad liver report - which scared the hell outta me ...I figured might as well give into it and die buzzed ...or drunk- usually drunk . Anyway I decided to leave my abusive husband last week and haven't craved a drink yet ...I really and truly wanna quit for good ! I'm tired of waking up sick and feeling even more depressed ...well I'm here again - this time I hope for Good !
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Unread 01-09-2016, 02:42 PM   #33
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Welcome back, JulietsJewels. Sounds like you are determined, and you know alcohol does you no good. That's a great start.
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Unread 01-09-2016, 03:11 PM   #34
R. Lee
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JulietsJewels. Good for you leaving your abusive husband. Think through that next urge to drink. Take it one urge at a time. You can do it. You are worth it.
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Unread 01-09-2016, 03:31 PM   #35
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You are so strong JJ, I admire you. Become the new person you are and take it day by day. Best wishes and support to you.
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Unread 01-09-2016, 03:55 PM   #36
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Proud of you JJ xx
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Unread 01-09-2016, 10:45 PM   #37
gmasusie
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We have but one life, JJ. Live it each day for that day. Welcome!!!!
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Unread 01-10-2016, 10:45 AM   #38
Tryntryagain
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Good afternoon Juliets Jewels. Bright blessings to you.

I'm with the gang here! I agree with what every one has said.

You can do this. You WANT to. That takes the hardest part out. As dear Lost Dog said, just 1 day at a time.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you dear Juliets Jewels
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Unread 03-24-2016, 10:11 AM   #39
Jilly
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Red face Thank you

Dear Juliet
So sorry about your abuse. I am a new member with breast cancer. My liver results are bad, so I know I have to stop drinking. With your support and all on this forum, I think I can do it.
Best wishes to you all
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Unread 03-24-2016, 10:18 AM   #40
Alexis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jilly View Post
Dear Juliet
So sorry about your abuse. I am a new member with breast cancer. My liver results are bad, so I know I have to stop drinking. With your support and all on this forum, I think I can do it.
Best wishes to you all
Jilly you should make your own journal so we can get to know you we will support you of course! xx
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Unread 03-26-2016, 12:09 AM   #41
gmasusie
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Yes, Jilly Please start your own thread! We want to hear your story. Listening (reading) is what keeps us sober.

Susie
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Unread 03-26-2016, 10:49 AM   #42
R. Lee
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Yes Jilly start you own thread. Nancy the coordinator can do that for you if you don't know how.

Welcome to the site. Sorry about your health problems. There are many alcoholics who continue to drink after getting the warning about health problems caused by their alcoholic drinking.

You can get sober. I do it 1 day at a time. I accept life on life's terms. If I get the urge to drink I think through that next urge.

Keep posting. We already love you.
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Unread 03-26-2016, 01:39 PM   #43
NancyB
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Jilly has her own thread - here's the link:

http://addictionsurvivors.org/vbulle...ad.php?t=30340

Welcome Jilly!

Nancy
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Unread 03-26-2016, 11:50 PM   #44
gmasusie
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Thanks, NancyB!! On the ball, as usual.
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Unread 03-27-2016, 07:23 AM   #45
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gmasusie View Post
Thanks, NancyB!! On the ball, as usual.
I can't take credit for this! Jilly took Alexis's suggestion and started her own thread!
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Unread 03-27-2016, 09:46 PM   #46
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Great! Thanks, Alexis and Jilly.
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