Addiction Survivors

Notices

Reply
Unread 11-08-2014, 03:19 PM   #1
Walker21
Junior Member
 
Posts: 3
Angry Out of ideas

I'll start at the beginning. My dad has drank a lot for as long as I can remember. It was the reason my parents divorced 20 years ago and it's been a problem ever since. 3 years ago it was the reason his second wife ended there 13 year marriage and things for worse from there. He was diagnosed with korsakof syndrome shortly after there separation and was sectioned under the mental health act. We (my brother sister and I) spent two years visiting him in mental health hospitals and it was uncertain whether he would ever return to 'normal'. Fortunately he recovered well as came home last year.
He is now drinking heavily again. He was once a wealthy man but his money has long since gone and he's surviving on benefits. He doesn't grasp the fact that he no longer has money and is living hand to mouth. He's not taking into consideration bills etc and is drinking his benefit money away. I am already working two jobs to pay off debts incurred from bills he failed to pay before he was sectioned and am literally at the end of my tether on what to do. I'm scared his korsakof is going to take over or worse. I can't cope with this again and I never want to set foot in a mental health hospital again. Advice would be appreciated
Walker21 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 11-09-2014, 09:13 AM   #2
lostdog
Senior Member
 
Posts: 2,942
Default

I am so sorry to hear your struggle. I like to watch the show "intervention" on TV, with addicted individuals getting help. It all boils down to the consequences the individual faces so they will get treatment and quit. You have to not enable him in anyway, it is very hard, but has to happen. As for me, my kids said things to me that hurt so bad, I just quit and am on this forum for support. Best wishes and others with more experience can guide you too.
lostdog is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 11-09-2014, 07:19 PM   #3
R. Lee
Senior Member
 
Posts: 4,984
Default

Walker21, Welcome to the site. I speak as a recovering alcoholic. Like your father I gave so much away.

I would not work two jobs to pay his bills. Your life does not have to be controlled by his alcoholism. No one can help him if he does not want help himself.

This might sound way too harsh but you do not have to put your life on hold for the alcoholic who does not want to get help for himself.

There are support groups like Al Anon that are for the family of alcoholics. Try it so you are not doing this alone.

Good luck!!
R. Lee is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to R. Lee For This Useful Post:
Thank You (11-10-2014)
Unread 11-10-2014, 01:42 AM   #4
Walker21
Junior Member
 
Posts: 3
Default

Thank you both. Unfortunately I took out a loan to pay off his debts in the first instance so they are now my debts and I have no choice to work two jobs. It's so frustrating the situation he puts us in and I know I'm probably not helping the situation but I can't just walk away. I appreciate your comments so much and will look into the support groups. Thanks again I wish you both well
Walker21 is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to Walker21 For This Useful Post:
Thank You (11-11-2014)
Unread 11-10-2014, 08:51 AM   #5
lostdog
Senior Member
 
Posts: 2,942
Default

if you need more support here, come back anytime and best wishes are with you, stay strong.
lostdog is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to lostdog For This Useful Post:
Thank You (11-11-2014)
Unread 11-11-2014, 02:43 PM   #6
Walker21
Junior Member
 
Posts: 3
Default

Thanks a million.
Walker21 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 11-23-2014, 12:15 AM   #7
RichNL
Member
 
Posts: 3
Default

Walker, it can be hard b/c this is your dad, but you are enabling his drinking by paying off his debts. An addict will not change until they are ready to change. You are hurting your dad more by helping pay these bills.
RichNL is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off




All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:47 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
© 2014 Addiction Survivors