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Unread 02-04-2006, 05:51 PM   #1
bgro22
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Default I'm new and didn't know where to start

I have had medical pain problems over the past several years. (a lot of years) and got addicted to the 10mg vicodin. I'm currently in trouble with this with feeling like I'm going to die and the depression is really bad. My psychiatrist dumped me and took me off of my anti-anxity cold turkey. I have some 2 year old lorazapam that I've been taking to help me get to an appointment I hope I can get to Monday but my separated husband is freaking out with his problems with addiction and we are scrambling for the money. He went out and drank last night and I hope he can pull it together long enough to pay the $2500 to the suboxone doctor. I'm in really bad shape and can hardly do anything. I'm self medicating till they can switch me to the suboxone. I'm dying with the anxiety and for the past couple of months not eating very much or sleeping. I have 2 kids. I'm sick inside and outside. I just want to get better and I have no help from family members.

Just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Peggy White
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Unread 02-04-2006, 06:03 PM   #2
Jaywalker
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Well Peggy, you've come to the right place. There are a lot of people here with plenty of experience and knowledge and you will find many friends. First thing is to arrange a good doctor and get started. Read everything here so you are prepared and knowledgeable when you go to your appointment. Ask questions. Address problems here -- you will get answers. This truly is a miracle medication, not only for the addiction issue, but for depression as well. We are all here to help each other.

Welcome; ask questions, devour the information. It does get better.

Be well. You are among friends....

Jay
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Unread 02-04-2006, 06:37 PM   #3
Mike
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Welcome Peggy,
I know exactly how you feel. The pain medicine works for a while, then you need it to feel normal, then you need it to just feel less depressed, finally it doesn't even help the depression...

Suboxone was the light at the end of the tunnel for me. Once I began treatment my depression disappeared, I felt normal. It gave me the ability to change the things in my life that addiction had destroyed my family, job, finances, and self-esteem. For me the Suboxone stopped the cravings, withdrawal, and depression all at once, so I could work on repairing my life and ways to prevent any relapse.

You will find the people on this board are caring, smart, and generous, and above all understand how you feel. There is a lot of info on this site, the more you learn the better your treatment will go.

The most important thing is to find a doctor and get started. But buyer beware. There is a wide price range, it pays to shop around. My advice is to start treatment ASAP, shop around a little, but its more important to start treatment sooner rather then later, plus you can always change doctors. Shopping around for a good doc will be easier once you have begun treatment.

Mike
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Unread 02-04-2006, 06:43 PM   #4
Mary
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Welcome Peggy! Mike and Jay have given you some great advice already, I just wanted to welcome you here. A great place to start is on the Education pages of this site. There are so many things to learn from those pages. And to reiterate what Mike said, do call more than one doctor. the pricing varies from doctor to doctor. Let us know if you have any questions. And let us know when you're going to start, we're here for you. -Mary
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Unread 02-04-2006, 06:51 PM   #5
TIM
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Welcome Peggy,
I hope you find the information here helpful and I know you will find the people here helpful. I wanted to point out a few things on this site that you may want to read first if you haven't already. There is a lot of information and it can be overwhelming at first.

New members topic. This explains the board:
http://naabt.org/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=169
there you will find links to the FAQ, list of certified doctors, stories of people from this board, and links to other site of interest.

This is the top 15 things to know about Buprenorphine:
http://www.naabt.org/buprenorphine_overview.cfm

We are glad to have you here!
Tim
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Unread 02-04-2006, 07:25 PM   #6
dodo
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Peggy,
Welcome and quickly, just one more thing for now, check out the topic: Suboxone Prescription Assistant Program. Make sure when you do go to your appointment, you bring this number along with you for your doctor. It just may help with the finances!
Until later, my thoughts are with you!
Doris
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Unread 02-05-2006, 09:27 AM   #7
estaban
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Hi Peggy White, welcome to a great website.I have been hangin around here for a little while and have witnessed a lot of great stories.One thing that's constant is the people that really want to get better allmost allways find a way by coming here, being honest and listening to the people that have "been there".I sincerly hope you find a way to get on suboxone and change your life.Hey where ya from and all that?It helps to let us know a little for Doctor networking and live people networking etc...

Do not give up!,

Estaban
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Unread 02-05-2006, 01:29 PM   #8
Frozen
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by bgro22

I have had medical pain problems over the past several years. (a lot of years) and got addicted to the 10mg vicodin. I'm currently in trouble with this with feeling like I'm going to die and the depression is really bad. My psychiatrist dumped me and took me off of my anti-anxity cold turkey. I have some 2 year old lorazapam that I've been taking to help me get to an appointment I hope I can get to Monday but my separated husband is freaking out with his problems with addiction and we are scrambling for the money. He went out and drank last night and I hope he can pull it together long enough to pay the $2500 to the suboxone doctor. I'm in really bad shape and can hardly do anything. I'm self medicating till they can switch me to the suboxone. I'm dying with the anxiety and for the past couple of months not eating very much or sleeping. I have 2 kids. I'm sick inside and outside. I just want to get better and I have no help from family members.

Just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Peggy White
Hi Peggy, I've been where you are, and so I strive to provide any information that can be helpful in relieving human suffering (In my own cold, impersonal, and obnoxious way [}]).

A few thoughts:
  • You're probably using the hydrocodone (vicodin) as an instinctive response to the fact that you own body is not producing enough of your endogenous opioids- the brain's natural opiates. Every person has naturally occurring chemicals in their brain called endogenous opioids- very properly named, as they are (molecularly) nearly identical to real opioids like heroin or oxy. Some people have a natural deficiency of these vital chemicals, and have no choice but to consume opioids from an external source in order to feel 'normal'. Hydrocodone is usually derived from codiene, and was not good enough at treating my depression. Oxycodone and buprenorphine are very different from hydrocodone, as they are thebaine derivatives. Both of those substances are effective treatments in my case, and quite possibly yours too.

    I know you've just been handed alot to read, but this summary: http://www.naabt.org/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=366 is essential at explaining some key facts your doctor never will.
  • Benzos like lorazapam can only sedate you, not relieve depression.
  • What everyone else is saying subtly, I'll now say bluntly: A $2,500 doctor's fee is very high. You live near a major U.S. city, and with a little research, you may be able to find a doctor who charges only a fraction of that amount.
  • Here's the reason you should have hope: The Bodkin Experiment.
    There was a clinical trial conducted at Harvard Medical School. There were ten patients with severe refractory depression- none of the medications (or even ECT!) they had tried worked at all, but Buprenorphine was successful at relieving the depression of 7 out 10 of them. It gets better. The three patients who failed to improve, only failed because they had a physical intolerance to opioids- a condition you already know you don't have, as you're already using hydrocodone. The results of this experiment have been duplicated many times for members of these boards, who have found opioids like buprenorphine to be the only antidepressants to work on us.

    http://www.drugbuyers.com/freeboard/...&Number=196682

I expect you to feel alot better, once you get on buprenorphine.
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Unread 02-05-2006, 02:26 PM   #9
blueshale
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Thank God for you Rearden, you speak the truth and i am almost afraid to speak my mind. you are so right about endorphin replacement therapy or what people call opiate abuse or methadone maintenane and now suboxone treatment. Its seems if anyone talks about anything that does not come from the words of samhsa or suboxone.com people are quick to criticise. Oh by the way welcome Peggy and it does seem like a high price i hope this doc will let you stay on as long as you want to. Make sure its not one month and and you have to leave. This doc wants a lot of cash for that kind of treatment.
good luck though i was on norco and it was a bitch to kick.
PAUL
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Unread 02-05-2006, 03:49 PM   #10
Badboyz
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Bgro22 I've only been here A few weeks & everyone here is wonderful.most of all VERY HELPFUL.That $2500 is out rageous. please keep us posted.
BADBOYZ
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Unread 02-05-2006, 04:05 PM   #11
Robyn
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Hi Peggy and welcome. I can't add much to what has already been said here. Please let us know what questions we can answer. Good luck.
Dixie


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Unread 02-05-2006, 05:26 PM   #12
Lisa
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Hi Peggy,

Just wanted to welcome you, encourage you to post, and let us know how you are.

Lisa
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Unread 02-11-2006, 06:58 AM   #13
Terry Mohr
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Welcome Peggy,
I, too, have only been here a short period of time as today was my first. The people are fantastic and come forth with sincere compassion to help as they have been where you are now, or, they have friends who have had similar problems. I know you find the answers just be patient and feel the love of those around you. Terry
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Unread 03-11-2006, 04:19 AM   #14
bgro22
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I haven't posted since before I started the subutex. I hope I'm doing this right. I'm Peggy White. I started the subutex around 4 1/2 weeks ago and for the first 2 weeks I was doing pretty well and now I'm extremely depressed. Like I said I have a lot of physical ailments and while the subutex has helped with the withdrawl I'm full of depresssion, anxiety and hopelessness. I'm stuck at home all day and night. I'm #1 getting used to the seroquel they have me on and #2 I don't have a working car to go anywhere. I depend on my separated husband to support myself and the kids. We barely squeak by. I am a member of A.A. but haven't gone to a meeting since I started all the meds I'm on. I also take clonazapam for the anxiety but I have no life. I can't work cause of being sick and was having a hard time finding a job before I got sick cause I haven't worked in 18 years approx. I'm in chronic pain and the subutex doesn't seem to help much anymore for some reason. I'm still on a fairly high dose. I'm on 24 mlgs a day. I need surgeries and can't afford them and don't qualify for any assistance cause of being technically married. We don't agree on any terms to do our own divorce and can't afford to do a real divorce to make things fair. My husband is bi-polar and isn't doing well himself. He works contract for oil and gas but doesn't work that many hours cause of his depression and using. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I feel so dead inside and out. I still have no appetite and don't sleep very much. If anyone has any suggestions please reply. At night is when I'm the most depressed. I have two kids 11 and 13 and we're in a terrible situation.
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