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Unread 01-03-2011, 01:05 AM   #1
vhappy
Senior Member
 
Posts: 2,121
Default Son is addicted Mother and wife need help!

My son is 25 years old, and was on his way to having it all, good job, new wife, new baby great couple who have been married 2 years and seem to adore each other.

His wife goes to church and uses no drugs or alcohol. My son is a fisherman here in Alaska, and use to go out with his fishing buddies and hit the bars when in port. When he got married that all changed, and he only hung with his wife, but slowly started to feel a bit suffocated and wanted to go out with his buddies. She is only 22. Long story short he started doing Meth that a guy on the boat introduced him to, so he could stay up and work long hours. He fishes for crab in the bering sea. Aside from fishing, I think he started using at home occassionally because his wife couldn't tell. Over the last year his behavior began to change, he would stay up all night occasionally and did not want to hang out with his family much or old friends. 2 Months ago his new baby was diagnosed with bilary atresia and spent 3 weeks in the hospital. I was with him, and noticed some behavior that I identified as a possible addiction, but he denied it. This disapearing behavior got worse, and his wife finally drug tested him at my urging.

He was positive for meth, but denied it at first. His wife kicked him out, and she and the baby are now staying with me. He wants to come home and have his wife come home. He has been playing with meth for a year, but I believe a daily user for a few months now. His wife thinks he can promise not to do it again, and all will be fine. Me myself being addictd to opiates for many years, know much more about addiction and know it doesn't work that way.

They are young and in love, and I think she is going to give in and go home. What should she or we expect. Will he have withdrawls, does he need to be detoxed first. HDF, Nancy suggested I talk to you, I have been posting about this in the opiate section, but would really like to talk to ANYONE who has some advice. I know she will not support him going to re-hab, we don't have one where we live, and she doesn't want to be away from him, they are young and newly married. She has been with us 3 days, and is starting to get really sad, and wants to go back. He is full of promises, but I am not sure how bad the addiction is, and if he can keep these promises. ( she has no understanding of addiction at all) She relies on prayer.

I am afraid if she doesn't play this whole thing out right and goes home, she is a softie, he will chill out for a month or so, and be right back at it. I asked her to not talk to him or text him for a week. to show him she means business. It had only been 3 days and they are texting, and she is not holding up well. Now she is making excuses for him, and just wants this to all go away and live hapilly ever after. I know ignoring the problem and learning his lesson, does nothing for the addict.

I found some good links from Nancy and on this site. I want to educate her as much as possible, I feel like she is just a bit to young and imature to realize that you can't pray addiction away.

vhappy

Last edited by vhappy; 01-03-2011 at 01:10 AM..
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