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Unread 04-02-2010, 08:55 AM   #1
harly_mamma
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My name is Nicole. My husband is a cocaine addict. He is in rehab right now for the second time in the six yrs we have been together. He comes home next week. I am nervous, anxious and scared. How do I know that this time will be different, that he will stay clean. I can't go through this anymore and neither can our two small children. Any advice or support would be appreciated.
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Unread 04-03-2010, 07:54 AM   #2
NancyB
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Hi Nicole, welcome. That's good that your husband went into rehab to help with his cocaine addiction. Unfortunately, there's really no way to tell if this time will be different. How motivated is he? Is willing to see where and why he went back to active addiction after being home last time? How long ago was that?

How long is the program for? Do you know if they are setting him up with an after-care plan for when he comes home? He needs to have a solid support group, it could be group sessions with a therapist, individual therapy and then peer support - like cocaine anonymous (http://www.ca.org/) or some other peer support group. Will he change those people, places and things that can lead back to active addiction? That is the most important thing, especially when he's first home.

For you, you have to take care of yourself and your kids. Being supportive, but not enabling. Do you have a support system around you too?

I'm sorry for all the questions, just want to see if I can help more succinctly.

Let me know, when you have time.

Nancy
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Unread 04-03-2010, 10:49 AM   #3
harly_mamma
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Nancy thank you so much for your reply. He seems very eager to get help this time and make things right. His program was 28 days. They have an outpatient program set up for him when he gets home. I have a pretty good support system, many skeptical people though that think I should give up on him. I am just not ready to do that yet. He was clean for about 3 yrs before he relapsed, but during that time he was drinking and hanging out with the same people. He knows now that all of that behavior has to stop. It really helps to have somebody to talk to. thank you so much.
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Unread 04-05-2010, 07:53 AM   #4
NancyB
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Hi Nicole, that's great that he has the outpatient program lined up for when he gets out. Hopefully he'll be able to break all ties with the people and behavior he's recognized as detrimental to his well being.

I'm glad that you have a support system. It's only natural for some people to be skeptical, they are probably worried about you and the kids and want the best for you all. Hopefully, this time will be different, especially since he realizes that he needs to change who he hangs out and to stop the drinking.

What day is he coming home?

Nancy
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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Unread 04-11-2010, 08:35 AM   #5
harly_mamma
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Hi Nancy. My husband came home on tuesday. We are all adjusting but he is doing well. Going to meetings, making new friends. He has cut all ties to those people he used to use and party with. He starts out patient tomorrow and also goes back to work. Thank you for your support. I hope we can continue chatting.
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Unread 04-13-2010, 10:26 AM   #6
NancyB
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Hi Nicole, thanks for the update! Sounds like everything is going well and not only does he know what he has to do, he's doing it. I'm really happy for you all.

Please do keep in touch, I'd like to know not only how he is doing, but how you are doing. Don't neglect yourself, ok? Look forward to hearing from soon.

Nancy
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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Unread 04-16-2010, 06:30 AM   #7
harly_mamma
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Nancy, Things are still going fairly well. Now that he is back to work he is not able to make as many meetings as he would like. He starts his out patient groups next week, so that should make him feel a little better. I am doing the best to take care of myself. Meeting with a counselor and we have met with our pastor together. I am still overwhelmed, stressed and worried every day. Trying to take it one day at a time. Talk to you again soon.
nicole
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Unread 04-16-2010, 06:51 PM   #8
NancyB
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Hi Nicole, good to hear so far, so good. I'm glad you're meeting with a counselor and I hope the pastor was of help.

There's another type of meeting, that you reminded me of when you mentioned meeting with your pastor. It's called Celebrate Recovery. Maybe your husband might be interested in looking into that? They have face-to-face meetings and here's a link:
http://www.celebraterecovery.com/?page_id=7

It's only natural for you to feeling stressed and overwhelmed. We can only hope that he learned what went wrong last time and use these new tools to make it work this time.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hope that you do something nice for yourself this weekend. You deserve it.

Nancy
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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