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Unread 02-09-2009, 02:40 PM   #1
GeorgeV
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Default new with questions Ceralecia? can you help?

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Originally Posted by Ceralecia View Post
I am a grateful recovering addict, and am looking for ways to be of service to the addict that still suffers (in addition to service in Narcotics Anonymous). I used methamphetamine for seventeen years, and drank heavily for twenty-three years. By the Grace of God, I have not had to put anything in my body since July 13, 2006. Thank you for a website that can answer questions for those that are seeking to improve the quality of life. I am living proof that miracles DO happen, if you do the footwork and stay open, honest and willing to recover.
I found out recently my son is addicted to meth. Not methadone, but smoking crystal meth. I want to get him to rehab or do something. Is there anything to do at home to help him stop.

I know he has to want to stop. He alredy looks like death. I need to know what can help.

Ceralecia how did you stop? You've stopped and have been. That's great.

George
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Unread 02-11-2009, 12:59 PM   #2
Ceralecia
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Default We Do Recover

Good Morning George,

I apologize for the delay in response, I have started school in my recovery and don't always check my email promptly.
First of all, your son is fortunate to have your love and desire to help- even though he won't act like it, yet. Prayer is of utmost importance- when I was out running the streets my mom had me on prayer lines all over the country. The harder she prayed, the more I got busted by the police. Little did I know that I would eventually be grateful for the intervention by God and the law. I got clean through Drug Court and a six month treatment program here in Sonoma County.
Meth is a hateful addiction that feeds off of it's own rage. Because of that, our attitude problems that we develop while in active addiction are VERY hard to get through. Because of that, I HIGHLY recommend treatment. I still had an attitude problem in treatment, but had no choice but to stay or go to prison. By the Grace of God, I was able to get clean and WANT to stay clean. The tools I have been taught are going to meetings (3-4 times a week), being of service to Narcotics Anonymous, working my twelve steps WITH a sponsor, and having faith in God (which I never had before and it is IMPERITIVE). This is a tall order, and many addicts scoff at the steps required. That is why treatment is not an option, it is a necessity in my opinion. How old is your son, George? You said a very key part of this equation- he HAS to WANT to change. Does he show any interest in wanting to get better?
Have you heard of Al-Anon? I highly recommend that you check out Al-Anon meetings for yourself, there is a support system available for people that are suffering from the effects of addiction on their loved ones. They can offer more suggestion for you, and can be an invaluable source of support (how to not enable, etc.).
God Bless You, George- and your son. This is not an easy road, but there is a simple yet spiritual program (Narcotics Anonymous) that can pull even the most hardened addicts up out of the depths of Hell to a life that is beautiful and amazing. I hope you have belief in a Higher Power, that will offer comfort for you, and The Lord hears our prayers.

Ceralecia.
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Unread 02-12-2009, 08:53 PM   #3
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Hi and Welcome to the forum Ceralecia and George,

Ceralecia, thank you for sharing and congrats to you : )

George, Just to add to the great feedback you already got ....
I know watching your son in the grips of addiction is painful, as Ceralecia mentioned, having support for yourself is so important for your own well being. Have you considered Al Anon or other support group? Even a counselor may be able to help you cope with this and make a plan as to how handle bringing up treatment to him.
You mentioned he is living at home, have you offered to help him with treatment options?
Regardless, you have to take care of yourself, the family sometimes needs as much help as the person dealing with addiction.
Please do not give up hope, people do recover! Let us know how things are going, take care, Carly

Here is the link for the treatment Locator

http://dasis3.samhsa.gov/
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Unread 02-16-2009, 11:29 AM   #4
GeorgeV
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Ceralecia and CarlyO thank you for the information and the help.

I will look into Alanon. I will sit down with my son and see what he wants to do. I think that sometime he wants help and then he scores and becomes oblivous or mean.

What do they do if he goes inpatient? Will they help for when he comes out.
I have the day off so I will go searching for a treatment place. And narcotics anonymous meetings. Maybe he will let me take him to one.

God Bless you both. George
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Unread 02-16-2009, 12:58 PM   #5
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Hi George,
What you described is normal behavior - when the substances are in his system all may be right with in his world, with stimulants -after the high - he is most likely to crash, fall into a depression.
Where does he get the money to buy his drug of choice?

Try using the treatment locator I posted, also you can look in your area for treatment facilities or even your local Mental Health /Substance Abuse services. I think once you start calling around - you should be given some names , ideas, etc... I always suggest keep calling until you get some options.

Do you know if meth is the only substance or is he using others? That may make a difference in his detox protocol - getting an assessment done will help with that.
If he goes inpatient - they will make sure he is detoxed safely, most facilities have classes, groups, counseling, teaching him how to live without substances, deal with relapse, triggers etc...
Treatment facilities SHOULD offer a comprehensive discharge plan, ex. intensive outpatient, hooking him up with a counselor and other support groups, as well as support for the family.
Yes, check into an Al Anon group- they will help you as they understand your struggles.

Good luck George, please keep us posted. Take care, Carly
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Unread 02-24-2009, 02:56 PM   #6
Dopeless Hope Fiend
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Dear George,

I wish I had all the answers for you. I can't relate to being a parent of an addict, however, I was a teenager when I became addicted to crystal methamphetamine. My addiction was ferocious, lasting until I self-admitted to rehab at the age of 34. This May, I'll have 7 years clean. Narcotics Anonymous had a huge part in my early recovery.

As a teen, back in the 80's, my parents either didn't know I was using, or didn't know how to help me, or were in denial. I don't know, but today, none of that really matters. In your situation with your son, I believe that the fact that you are aware of his drug use is paramount and that good (some great) resources are available to help you both.

90 meetings in 90 days (yup, three a day...with my infant with me!) provided me immense support from other people like me, not to mention kept me away from the dope houses. Inpatient treatment was crucial. For me, it led to transitional housing (I was homeless with an infant), job training, after-care, and today...a great drug-free life.

Your love and support for your son is key...no matter what: love him and be there for him. Let him know (I suspect he does!) that you do care and you do want to help him. Perhaps, as this forum grows, it can be a source of help for him, in that there are people, like myself who are eager to share what was so freely shared with me. Please stay connected here...I'm willing to help in whatever way I can.

-DHF
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Unread 02-24-2009, 03:37 PM   #7
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Hi DHF,

Thank You for sharing your story I am sure it will help many people. Congrats on 7 years that is awesome ! Please keep us posted - take care - Carly
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Unread 03-02-2009, 12:23 PM   #8
GeorgeV
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Good morning everyone. I very much appreciate you all taking the time to help me and my boy. He's 20 and HAD a job. This drug has taken everything away from him. We talked yesterday. He wants out. I will use the locator to find places and have him make the phone calls. He looks like shit. Excuse the language, but there's no other way to describe the physical degradation that has taken place. We hope to have in somewhere tomorrow.

DHF thank you for your story. I am printing these out and will show him when he is in better frame of mind. I will let you know what happens.

God bless you all. George.
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Unread 03-03-2009, 10:43 PM   #9
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Hi George,

How is it going? I hope that you found a place ...Keep trying until you find that one person willing to go that extra mile, make phone calls, etc... maybe a counselor, therapist, clinic that specializes in addiction.

Usually they start out with an assessment - then make a plan for care from there. I hope and pray he is somewhere getting help right now. While he is away - learn as much as you can as he is going to need a lot of support but at the same time so will you. Maybe check out an al anon meeting or other support group, counselor.
Good luck, and please let us know if we can help.
Sending thoughts and prayers to your family, take care, Carly
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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Unread 03-04-2009, 11:17 PM   #10
Dopeless Hope Fiend
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George, you're welcome...I wish I could do more to help. Having survived such a long and hellish addiction, I'm just chomping-at-the-bit eager to help someone avoid it. I was addicted for 21 years, longer than your son has been alive! For me, I had to hit bottom countless times to see I needed help. I hope that's not the case for your son...I'm glad to hear he wants out.

By the time you read this, I hope and pray you and your son have in place a plan that fits and works for him. It won't be easy, perhaps it may be painful...but trust and believe, it will be worth it. I've found that in being stronger than my past, the future is giving me a chance...we can and do recover!

Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way!

-DHF
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Unread 03-11-2009, 05:58 PM   #11
GeorgeV
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Sorry I haven't checked back sooner. You don't know how much I appreciate the prayers.

I don't even know where to begin. He went into treatment the weekend before and left AMA. Said he couldn't take it, they were asking him to do too many things. Like not smoke. Go to groups. He didn't want to hear any of it. He went right back to the damn meth. After 5 days of that, we just got him back into a different facility. This time it's different he says. This time he wants to go and he'll do whatever it takes. I don't know if he had an epiphany being back out after a couple of days without meth. I do know that he almost got arrested. That came out on the way to the facility. Supposebly scared the shit out of him. He's called the two days he's been in there. Says it's a better place than the last. But I think he just needed that scare to reassess things.

Now that it's relatively calm around here, I will check in sooner. Oh, me and the wife are going to an Alanon meeting tonight. She can't take any more. I worry for her.

God bless you all for your strength and prayers. George
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Unread 03-12-2009, 10:19 AM   #12
Dopeless Hope Fiend
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George,

I'm so glad to hear your son is in treatment. Sometimes it does take a good scare: mine was the threat of Child Protective Services taking my infant from me...my two other children had already been taken by their dads (who were also meth users--go figure) and I wasn't going to let that happen again. Sometimes the treatment facility isn't a good match. My first choice wasn't right for me...I toughed it out for 3 months before I found something better, which ultimately was a perfect match and provided exactly the right tools to help me recover and rebuild.

You and your wife are wise to attend Al-Anon. I've never been to their meetings, but as with recovering addicts helping other recovering addicts, I'm sure there will be immense support from families who understand and know how to cope...you'll learn much from them as they will from you.

God bless you and your family. Stay strong and don't give up hope. My prayers are with you and I know God is listening!

-DHF
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Unread 03-12-2009, 02:04 PM   #13
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Hi George,

ditto on what DHF posted. It also took me many tries before I "got it" - I truly hope he will stay at this IP facility and give it a try. Also, make sure before he leaves that everyone is clear on his discharge plans, like Intensive Outpatient, meetings, counseling.

Hang in there, I know it must be a relief right now to at least know that he is getting help. God bless and take care, Carly
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Unread 03-23-2009, 10:29 AM   #14
GeorgeV
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DHF and CarlyO, things are looking up. He's still in the treatment center. He's got a lot of interest in the groups he goes to and the sessions with the shrink. He will be there for the 30 days and they will set him up in structured housing on the campus of the facility he's at. They help the people find jobs but still have the responsibility and rules to follow in this housing. He also will have to attend groups at night after work.

He really seems to want it and hugs his mother relentlessly apologizing the couple of times we have visited. That makes her feel better. She sees a shrink now and we go to Alanon too.

God bless you both for caring for total strangers. George
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Unread 03-24-2009, 07:42 PM   #15
Dopeless Hope Fiend
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Dear George,

Thank you for the update...that's some real encouraging news! It sounds like the treatment facility your son's at is a great one and I pray that he stays strong and dedicated to working towards recovery and rebuilding his life.

You may see yourselves as total strangers, but to this recovering addict you're not. I see a little bit of me in everybody, and vice-versa. When I hear of addicts struggling, that was once me. When I hear of recovering addicts living life on life's terms, one day at a time, that is me. And when I hear the pain of a family of an addict, I feel the pain of my loved ones...the ones I hurt the most in my addiction, that was and still is me.

George, stay close by your son and your wife. You sound like a really strong, good man. They're so lucky to have you, and you, them...God bless you and your family.

-DHF
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Unread 03-24-2009, 08:36 PM   #16
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Hi George,

This is great news ! I am so happy for your son, you and the family. It sounds like he has a solid discharge plan which is sooo important. He will learn how to live in the real world and how to face triggers in a safe environment.
I spent 9 months in a half way house - and it gave me a good foundation, I had to give my family space, they needed a break from my drama, but eventually I did rebuild relationships with family members. At times I hated it - but it was worth it in the end.

Keep going to Al Anon and taking care of yourselves. Thank you for sharing, it gives others who come here and read hope for their loved ones ! It makes me happy to hear that your son is embracing a new way of life. As DHF posted, we are not strangers, I too saw myself in your son, and others who post on these forums !

I pray all continues to go well, keep us posted when you can. Take care and God Bless, Carly
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