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Unread 02-27-2014, 01:32 PM   #1
Buddygirl
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Feeling very low today ,haven't lived with hubby for about 5 weeks now as he kept drinking .hes felt sorry for himself and blamed me but finally admitted he has a problem and needed help.he joined a college so great for him .he even joined a group for support and started treatment .then today it all began messages which turned nasty towards me then phone calls .my poor children are seeing all of this .its so hard knowing what to do or where to turn ,I think after today that I'm done with him for good but what of my children
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Unread 02-27-2014, 04:46 PM   #2
R. Lee
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Buddygirl, Your hubby problems are not caused by you or your children. It is such a shame what we alcoholics do to our families while we are self absorbed in our drinking.

Be strong for your children as they will need it dealing with their dad.
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Unread 03-01-2014, 07:53 AM   #3
aveca
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I wouldnt even know where to begin with my story. i met my husband almost 30 years ago. married for 26. when i met him he had just come out of a rehab at 17 yrs old . at first he wasnt drinking and we had a great time. then he started as a contractor. and drinking and abuse started.

i can say over the last 2 decades he has been drinking a case of beer a day. there is a strong family history of bipolar, manic depression. over the last year and 1/2 i noticed pretty profound personality changes. saying things he wouldnt normally say. insulting one day bring me a gift the next. lots of unfinished projects. unable to prioritize.

he destroyed our 25 th wedding anniversary. started becoming paranoid that every phone call that came to the house was a secret boyfriend for me. i beleive that was all projection. he became very distant. his priorities were going to concerts and drinking possible bath salts but we're not sure.

he went into a giant rage and i was so afraid i pretty much left with the shirt on my back. we own 2 property's. hes at 1 im at the other. a week after i left, he attacked an old family friend at lowes. accusing him of sleeping with me. the friends wife asked me what was wrong with him. 2 weeks later he attacked another man accused him of sleeping with me, nearly knocked his teeth out.was arrested assult 2nd degree.then attacked his brother broke his nose over a weedeater.

He has or i think has had a 28 year old girlfriend. hes 50. the kid that fixed him up with his girlfriend had been arrested for heroin..he has now bought himself a jaguar, hes being sued over a recent job and irs and attorney general are in on this case. what a living mess.

this is what life long alcoholism looks like. a self absorbed man in full train wreck mode.his own mother told him he was becoming a wet brain and paranoid and delusional.
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Unread 03-01-2014, 03:25 PM   #4
R. Lee
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eveca, I speak as a recovering alcoholic who roared through everyones life including my family.

Your husbands behavior sounds like most alcoholics.

I am glad to see that you have got your own place. If he keeps it up he will end up dead or in prison. Do not let him near you for your own safty.

Come in & share. You do not have to go through this alone. There are also support groups of familys of alcoholics like Al Anon.
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Unread 03-01-2014, 04:35 PM   #5
Buddygirl
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Oh dear,he text around 100 times plus calling house and mobile phones repeatedly .im now being accused of cheating fir the last 15 years and a friend is being accused,this sounds familiar.police have been out but won't do a thing,he's also on drugs now too .hes in his right to take our youngest child and they won't do anything .where are my rights no one wants to help me
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Unread 03-01-2014, 05:44 PM   #6
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Do you have an attorney? IF not, I really think you should get one. THere must be something you can do. The 100 calls, texts, etc.. sounds like harassment to me. You need legal advice in my opinion.

You may want to call a women's shelter and see if they can refer you to legal resources....
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Unread 03-01-2014, 08:29 PM   #7
aveca
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Quote:
Originally Posted by R. Lee View Post
eveca, I speak as a recovering alcoholic who roared through everyones life including my family.

Your husbands behavior sounds like most alcoholics.

I am glad to see that you have got your own place. If he keeps it up he will end up dead or in prison. Do not let him near you for your own safty.

Come in & share. You do not have to go through this alone. There are also support groups of familys of alcoholics like Al Anon.
i appreciate this site. chronic alcoholism and manic depression are not a good mix..my husbands mother and i went to alanon because husbands dad was alcoholic that fathered illigitimate child and police used to dump him out in their lawn. wife would see him laying out there passed out. lock the door and go to bed. she told me she that she used to wait in the window and wonder why he didnt want to be with her and her boys. i was living the same life. he had a manic break when i left. paranoia, delusions.it was horrible. wasturned into a mid life crisis on steroids..he was arrested for attacking a man i dont know accusing him of sleeping with me. also accused me of sleeping with the president of the school district (i have no idea who the president of the school systems is.) it was strange.

i applaud you for your recovery. life is a beautiful thing. im sorry my husband is missing his. i have begun the divorce process.
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Unread 03-10-2014, 04:19 PM   #8
stuck here
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Aveca you are so brave I know my husband will be better off financially if we divorce he would fight to the end .I don't want to be poor but living like this is awful.I pray I will meet someone.I feel sorry hes old my neighbor told me its my fault he drinks because I don't want him I cant help that ive lived with misery so long my twins born without anyone there but doctor and nurse he treated me so bad the minute I got pregnant .I was on bed rest and my neighbor took care of my son 6 yrs old and got me food as I couldn't get up I know you are supposed to forgive but it was my most precious time and I couldn't enjoy because he would be drunk. My happiest time when im overseas with my kids at Christmas we go he stays home my family got abused when they visited and now my mum doesn't feel well to travel. I go to see my family but as soon as I get back black cloud in my life. My sister and nephew came last year don't want to come as he was so nasty sad hes ruined it as he has no one I cant either.
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Unread 03-13-2014, 01:50 PM   #9
aveca
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stuc here. thanks for the reply. i appreciate it. He bullied me out of the house. then went on a slander campain about me all over town. But I didnt react to any of it. I decapitates a narcissist if you dont react to them. Hes been so trashed that no one cane beleive that he hasnt gotten a dui. even.bragged to a friend of mine that he had a flat tire and cop helped him change tire and didnt seem tonotice how completly.trashed he was.

I amkind of laying low for now.Hes parading his bar ho girlfriend all around town like he completly.forgot he was married. hes making sure everybody sees them too.I thinkhes trying to get a reaction fromme but hes been met with a wallofsilence and a letter from my lawyer for divorce.

a lady that he was doing workfor said he showed upstilldead drunkwith a smashed up face , he told her he got so drunk he fell on his face at the house.
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