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Unread 12-29-2008, 07:20 PM   #1
dhanks
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Posts: 6
Default Newby Outreach

Hello All,

I am new to the site. My story is long and probably relatively boring to most, so I won't go into details. But the bottom line is that I am so tired of waking up every morning and craving alcohol. I am getting older and not only is it psychologically draining, it has become physically draining.

It started a few years ago when I couldn't "relax" enough for those around me. "Have a beer and relax." they would say. But now, I can hardly get through my day without 10-15.

I just finished my PhD and am looking for work. I know that working will do a lot to control my habit, just simply by nature of not being home. But for right now, I am more concerned with figuring out the "why" I feel the need to drink so much and try to get it under control before I get a job. I lost my last job because of my attitude, which I have no doubt was driven in part by my alcoholism.

I am reaching out for support. I know there is a physical and emotional/psychological addition to alcohol. I don't know which is most pressing at the time for me, but I know that I am really tired of this cycle.

I never drank at all until I was about 25yrs old or so. Now I'm 38, or pushing 40. It is really getting old and out of control.

I really hope that this discussion forum will help. I have no interest whatsoever in going to a local AA meeting. I am an introvert and can't stand the thought of that.

I look forward to meeting you all. I hope that I can help some of you as much as you can help me.
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Unread 12-29-2008, 09:24 PM   #2
JaneDoe
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dhanks, do you have a plan yet? I can only tell you what I did. vivitrol shot and one-on-one private therapy. It's almost a year for me without drinking.

I also posted here. It helped alot.

Here are my story threads.
http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...ad.php?t=19104
http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...ad.php?t=19103
http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...ad.php?t=18957
Let me know what you're thinking now.

JaneDoe
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Unread 12-29-2008, 09:49 PM   #3
dhanks
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Default Re: JaneDoe

I could not open any of the links provided. I received a consistent message that the page cannot be found any way I tried.

You said, "Let me know what you're thinking now."

That is such a loaded question for me. I am currently out of work, even though I just graduated with my PhD in Management. My husband had a heated discussion within the last 30 minutes.

He never understood why I wanted to earn a PhD, which I understand. That is something that comes from the roots of your soul. But now that I have graduated, just in the last week, he is ticked that I don't have a high paying job to relieve him of his unhappy job. So what he was so against at the beginning, now he is against at the end for different reasons.

I fully understand that I drink myself out of reality. I just wish I could gumtion up the same self-esteem that helped me earn all of my degrees in the first place. The job market sucks right now. But just to make it clear to anyone reading, he spends money on his hobbies like it is going out of style. We would not be in the financial pinch we are in if it weren't for his financial decisions.

I don't know. I think there are deeper issues going on other than drinking beer. I don't hit hard liquour or drugs sold on the street.

It sometimes seems to me that it is the perpetrartor driving this situation. But we've been married a long time and I don't want a divorce. I just want to be healthy and happy.

D
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Unread 12-29-2008, 10:48 PM   #4
A.S. ADMIN
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Hi, I fixed the links in JaneDoe's thread. Here they are again also:

http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...ad.php?t=19104
http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...ad.php?t=19103
http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...ad.php?t=18957
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Unread 12-30-2008, 04:38 PM   #5
JaneDoe
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Posts: 100
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Thank you for fixing that. My bad.

dhanks, have you ever seen a therapist? Maybe you and your husband should also see a marriage counselor. I cannot tell you how much good counseling was for me. I learned things about myself that I did not know, or allowed myself to know.

It was frightening, difficult, but liberating. Very liberating and enlightening.

JaneDoe
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Unread 12-30-2008, 07:32 PM   #6
SLynn
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D

The behavior is the problem. You turn to alcohol (no matter the kind) in excess on a daily basis for coping or 'dealing'....that's the problem. The fact that it's not hard alcohol or 'street drugs' doesn't make it a better scenario.

The fact that you found this site means you must have been searching the internet for help or information and that's a good thing!

I hope you've read through JaneDoe's links.......she is our 'poster child'. It can be done so don't forget that.

I think that at a minimum, counseling is a good idea for you. I hope you explore this.

Welcome to the site!

SLynn
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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Unread 12-30-2008, 10:35 PM   #7
dhanks
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Hello All,

Thank you for the postings. I appreciate your advice and input.
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Unread 01-04-2009, 09:43 PM   #8
CarlyO
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Hi dhanks -

Just checking in with you ,hope everything is going well. Happy New Year ! Carly
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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