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Unread 08-17-2015, 11:07 AM   #1
Zack 1
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Smile Hey guys new here needhelp

I don't know what to do anymore. A little background I'm 39 in sales pretty stressful but I'm doing well at my job. Had a couple DUIs in my 20s. Quit drinking cold turkey for almost 8 years after the 2nd one. Had a girlfriend who lived with me she moved out over New Years. Not from me drinking i was only drinking a couple beers a night a few days a week. Now its every night 6-10 beers I live alone and feel depression. I have a very supportive girlfriend now but lives out of state. I don't know if I'm just bored or??? I appreciate any input I feel so down.
Zack
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Unread 08-17-2015, 11:27 AM   #2
R. Lee
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Zack, welcome to the site.

If you think you have a alcohol problem you probably do.

You sound like I did when I drank.

If you want to quit drinking try getting all alcohol out of where you live. Think through that next drink. Take on not drinking in 24 hour segments.

I also use this site & a support group of recovering alcoholics who I can call before I drink. I also have a sponsor from this group.

Keep coming back here to let us know how you are doing.
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Unread 08-17-2015, 12:10 PM   #3
Zack 1
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Thank you Mr Lee I appreciate it
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Unread 08-17-2015, 03:28 PM   #4
Millie
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Hi Zack. Welcome!

R. Lee is right... first thing to do is to not have alcohol around you. It not only makes depression worse, it makes it happen. You're in good company here.
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Unread 08-17-2015, 03:30 PM   #5
R. Lee
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You are welcome Mr. 1. Feel free to cal me R. Lee. We are an informal group of alcoholics.

Tell us more about yourself.

Think through the next urge to drink & have a great day.
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Unread 08-17-2015, 07:29 PM   #6
Zack 1
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Thanks guys I always pour any beers out in the morning from feeling guilty. Its always like right now at work still I have a problem with not stopping at the gas station and getting more. The problem is I like to drink socially on a rare occasion and am not 100% sure I completely want to stop?? If it were once or twice a week I would be fine but that's my struggle :-(

Last edited by Zack 1; 08-17-2015 at 07:33 PM..
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Unread 08-17-2015, 07:38 PM   #7
Zack 1
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I've always been a worrier about everything. Stopped racing cars and motorcycles this year and feel like something is missing in my life now. My girlfriend lives in Louisiana and I live in Stlouis. Never married but have an 11 yr old daughter every other weekend since she was a baby. I'm a good dad with a great job and family just feel empty.
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Unread 08-17-2015, 11:53 PM   #8
R. Lee
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Zack, Six to 10 beers every night might indicate a drinking problem.

If you want to stop drinking I can make suggestions. Controlled drinking I can no be of any help.
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Unread 08-18-2015, 06:42 PM   #9
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Zack,

Hi...I drank at least six beers a night, more when I wasn't working. I tried the controlled drinking but it didn't work for me. I decided I had a drinking problem and needed to stop. You're right, if you're not 100% sure you have a problem it will be difficult to stop. Once I accepted my alcoholism and made peace with it sobriety became a whole lot easier. Don't get me wrong it was tough going in the beginning but much, much easier now.
It was the singular best thing I ever did for myself AND those in my life, getting sober.

Don't give up on yourself, you're worth it.

Regards,
Saint
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Unread 08-19-2015, 10:51 AM   #10
Zack 1
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Thanks Saint I'm just having a rough time right now. I quit cold turkey with no help for 8 years just don't know how to turn this around.
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Unread 08-19-2015, 12:07 PM   #11
Tryntryagain
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Good afternoon Zack. Bright blessings to you.

Welcome to this wonderful family. All of us different, yet all of us has got a, or have had not a terribly good relationship with alcohol.

I find....not sure how....but i get a huge feeling that for one reason or another, you are finding yourself at a crossroads?

Not your last post, but the one before you said, "i am a good Dad with a great job and family. I just feel empty".

I am in a place that can identify your "emptiness", however i reckon there maybe many other words that would fit just as well. Your practical circumstances around your girlfriend of course not as you would like, (i am in dear ole Blighty, so i assuming there is distance between you), however, with that "emptiness filled", i am sure there are pathways you can navigate to arrive at the destination you want/need.

Cold turkey 8 years sober? Good grief Zack, if any evidence was needed by you to know that you can stop, well....you've done it quite substantially. I urge you, in hindsight, to look back and see that as quite an achievement in your life.

Moving forward? I get the emptiness thing, and i am in the process of doing something that is quite alien to me, and may "trip" something within you.

You are not bored, maybe, perhaps, feel unfulfilled in yourself? Your job dictates you being "tip top and Bristol fashion", (a Blighty term for always having to be on top of yours, and "the" game") it is exhausting. If that is not all that fulfilling. I simply think you have got to a place where you want more. You can look around you, a good job, a good family and a partner that cares and supports you, so there is something missing?

Always on my journey when i have felt lonely and insecure, i "go out there"......find attention, make myself into what ever it takes to be accepted and, to be fair, i did a pretty good job of it, until.....well until....it didnt work for me anymore.

It didn't become boring.....just empty.

Over my time here with this family, ever so gently, a step at a time, in hindsight i recognised i needed to "look inward", to fill that empty feeling.

I did not like it then, and i still struggle with that, even though i know it is the way to go.

As a Salesman i should imagine you could be on Mars and sell them something they haven't the faintest use for. I should imagine you could hold a conversation, and have purposeful dialogue with anyone whose needs you could fulfill.

Can you have those conversations with yourself? I couldn't and i came to join this family to find a way, my own way, but with oodles of experience, wisdom, and an eclectic mix of beautiful diversity, to fill that emptiness you feel.

The splendid way you have joined us makes me from the other side of the ocean, get feelings of frustration, weariness and "crossroads".

But "what crossroads?"

Together we can all learn and find out.

Keep talking, and this is the most extraordinary collection of people, of loveliness certainly i have ever experienced. No judgement, truly a world of love and wisdom. Welcome.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you Zack.
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Unread 08-19-2015, 12:33 PM   #12
jenm
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Hi Zack!

Welcome to this amazing group. Many of us have tried controlled drinking. In my own experience, I have tried to fool myself repeatedly that I can drink like other people. Over and over and over again, I have failed.

Stay close to us, keep posting. Trust me, no judgment here, we have been through it all! Jenm
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Unread 08-19-2015, 03:34 PM   #13
jditoday
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Zack,

I don't feel like I am in any kind of mental state, especially today to hand out any advice, stories or encouragement. I will say this however...if you are going into this with even a thought of failure in the back of your head, it wont work. You have to be convinced that every new 24 hours is for good, and what is best for you.
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Unread 08-23-2015, 09:44 AM   #14
Zack 1
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Thanks for the support and advice guys. I just woke up had some beers last night which I'm not proud of :-(

My daughter is in bed and I'm laying here thinking of what I need to do to get me to not drink tonight. Pretty sad and obviously I know this is a problem for me just need to shake it. Hope everyone has a great day!
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Unread 08-23-2015, 12:34 PM   #15
Saint
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Zack,

Keep looking at your daughter...and think through that first drink.

Imagine your life without her. Alcohol may bring you there.

COngrats on the 8 years sober. It sounds like you are self medicating with the alcohol in an attempt to alleviate your depression. Pehaps it's time to talk to a professional about what is going on in your life.

You've been sober before, for quite a long time. There's no doubt in my mind you can get back to that place.

Believe and trust in yourself. You are worth it.

Saint
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Unread 08-23-2015, 12:42 PM   #16
R. Lee
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Zack, Try to not pick up that 1st. drink. Try just getting through that urge & when the urge passes they try not to pick up on the next urge.
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