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Unread 12-07-2008, 06:54 PM   #1
kompton
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Default New here

wats up guys, im new here and just wanted to say hi.


im a 24 y/o w/m alcoholic, i have been since i was around 18, i have never been able to quit completely, so i found this forum- maby it can help..

i dont attend meetings, i was forced by to courts to go to around 3 a week for years, i eventualy wound up just going to a party and haveing the people sign it there. I was originaly a pot head since around 12 but when i wound up on probation i had to find another drug-alcohol. i was also addicted to meth/coke but was able to quit by self medicating-with alcohol.

i keep drinking even though its ruining my health even at 24, i cant sleep at night drunk or sober, i feel sick any time i drink yet i continue, i weigh 370 pounds, i am 6'5'' tho.. i went to prision for a gun charge did 18 months (drug and alcohol free months) and came out 260..

at this point i have a very hard time going 1 day without..

i have 3 underage drinking charges and one DUI..
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Unread 12-07-2008, 10:13 PM   #2
CarlyO
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Default Welcome Kompton !

Hi Komptom and welcome to the forum. I am glad you found us and reached out for help- this time no one is forcing you to do it so that is good.It sounds like you are maybe getting sick and tired of the swings and slides.

Also from what you posted- it sounds like doing it your way is not working out too well? You have to decide when you have had enough, you do not have to live this way and I was telling someone earlier -everytime I have picked up - it is always the same outcome, misery , pain and trouble. No doubt about it.

I am concerned about your health, eventually this disease progesses to the point where we do have major health complications. There is a breakdown on this site of all of the negative effects alcohol has on the mind and body. Not to mention the spirit, I cannot imagine you are too happy, after 12 years of partying, there is no party anymore - it is all maintenence, just making it through the day. BUT- it does not have to be this way, ask for help, figure out a plan of how you are going to beat this and work hard at it. People recover everyday, you can do it too!

Back to your health- is there a way for you to get medical assitance - do you have a doctor or clinic to go to and ask them to help you detox, if that is what want ?
At the very least, please get checked out just to be safe, being sick all of the time could be an underlying condition that alcohol may be masking.

If you tried AA - there is info below about other types of support, there is also medication assisted treatment. I hope you will read the info on this site and the other posts from people who have shared their experiences and if you have any specific questions, please ask.
Hang in there and hopefully you can figure out a plan of action, it is worth it , it truly is. Until then, hang in there and take care : ) Carly

Links to get you started - where to find help etc... type in your zip code, also what types of help is available.
There is also a medication - the link is listed here that may help with cravings.

http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...ad.php?t=19841
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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Unread 12-08-2008, 08:18 AM   #3
kompton
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Ive been seing a doctor, she put me on campral- wich was worthless for me. also paxil and ativan. i dont have any health insurance at the moment so i havent seen my doc in round 3-4 months, my overall health is ok- i do have high BP and am overweight both things the doc attributed to alcoholisim. i no longer take any medication. i was honestly "addicited" to the paxil- if i didnt take it i would go into dizzy spells, feel shocking sensations going down my arms and legs, night terrors, it was no good.

i spent 6 months in a halfway house when i was 18, been in detox 3 times bout a week each usualy for alcohol and pills.

As far as AA is concerned i dont mind going to meetings but the whole thing seems kinda cultish to me IMO, telling people there higher power can be ANYTHING they want it to be- A tree, rock etc..

i am a christian so my higher power is god, but thats just me- i dont go to church regularly
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Unread 12-09-2008, 12:46 PM   #4
JaneDoe
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kompton, not to sound like I'm selling this drug, but it worked for me. Vivitrol. I just posted this in another topic.
http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...031#post321031

And you get the shot for free, here's the info on that.
http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...ad.php?t=19673

Drinking really messes with your health. I should know. This was pretty eye opening. Made me think alot about what I was doing to myself. There's health stuff that I didn't know could happen.

http://www.alcoholanswers.org/alcoho...our-health.cfm

See if you can get to a clinic or call the state you live alcohol and drug department and see if you can get help. It's not too late.

JaneDoe
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Unread 12-12-2008, 04:50 PM   #5
carlsbadsue
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Hi kompton,

This is my first visit to this site and don't even know what brought me here, as I have chronic pain and was on the naabt site for that...
Anyhow, who cares why I'm here, huh?...

One thing that stood out about your post was that your friends were signing your card, as opposed to you going to meetings, which you aren't into. I totally get it, as I am a recovering alcoholic and didn't want anything to do with "those" people at AA, until I relapsed again and finally became desperate not to drink again.

Back to your friends.....I really hate to say this but....They are not your friends, if you are trying to quit drinking, as they are just enabling your destructive, alcoholic behavior, which I'm sure you know.

Unfortunately, most of us, and I say most because it isn't black and white and everyone has their own path but you may not be ready to quit. It is hard as hell to stay sober and especially, at your age, when most, if not all, of your friends are partying. One thing you must do, if you want to quit drinking, is change all of your friends. Now, I didn't have any sober friends because what alcoholic wants to hang with sober peoople????NOT me. I finally have sober friends, which I met through AA (sorry, just MY story)

I resisted AA and for some of the same reasons you stated. They also told me to use a door know, the group, etc for a higher power but after checking the group out.....that wasn't going to work...lol ad a door knob? please, give me a break. Finally, I found a god that I am able to work with but it took time. So you are way ahead of me.

I would go to an AA mtg and size everyone up, before they opened their mouth! I was so judgmental about their hair, their clothes, etc, etc. What actually was happening (in hindsight) was that I didn't love myself and didn't feel "a part of", nor did I have much self-confidence. I covered my insecurities by judging them, thus elevating myself, if only in my eyes. After my last relapse, I was ready to quit, as I had 3 Dui's and the consequences were getting worse.

I could go on and on, but I'll spare you and just wish you the best and remember: It is all about YOU, making better choices. It is easy to quit but the hard part is staying that way and you will find what works for you, when you are ready. There is no ONE way to do it but AA worked for me, after I checked MY attitude.
Susan
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Unread 12-13-2008, 11:12 AM   #6
jerryg
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kompton,
I see you have gotten some good advice so far and I hope it helps. I would like to add a point about the concept of the higher power, which many people struggle with.

"A higher power reminds you of your commitment." It doesn't make you do anything, it is not magic, you give it meaning. You must apply it and adhere to it with your own sense of purpose. It is about a presence, and a reminder to care. At times the reminder may not seem welcome, but then you already know your use of alcohol goes counter to you own self care.

So ask your self, what is your personal commitment? Is it to remain sober? And how have you betrayed that personal commitment? Only you can respond to these questions, because it is your life.

Reaching a goal is a series of steps, when you encounter a step that causes you to balk, refer back to the reasons you are taking these steps and reaffirm your commitment.
It is not always easy but you are seeking a form of consistency and honesty in your life and relationships.
Because it is upsetting and isolating at times, there is a need for social support, honest and non- judging. That's what the mutual help structure is meant for. Support as you struggle with you internal issues. There many are on the same path and ideally in helping others they help themselves.


What do you think?
Jerry
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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Unread 12-15-2008, 09:06 AM   #7
JaneDoe
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kompton, where are you and how are you?

JaneDoe
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