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Unread 09-09-2007, 12:22 PM   #1
Willow76
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i need help; i binge drink on some weekends then go back to work as usual on the weekdays. except i called in sick too many day and now i am on the borderline of being fired. I kept going to the dr but since i didn't tell him the truth, he really couldn't help me and i also didn't really tell my boss either, but i might tomorrow (9.10). And if i get fired my mom is threatening to put me in treatment because thats what both her brothers and neice died from. i understand where she is coming from but also its my life and i wish she would just stay out of it and leave me alone. I love my mom but i wish i could move away so she would leave me alone. She doesn't bother my older sister and brother as much as she does me and i hate it. Can someone please help me
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Unread 09-09-2007, 02:14 PM   #2
sandy26
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Hi Willow,
When drinking starts to affect your life, like your job, it's time to take a close look at it. What's good is you don't need to drink everyday....yet, so stopping or cutting down will be easier that it would be a year from now. It is very easy to get into trouble with alcohol. For example, let's imagine you did get fired tomorrow, and decided a drink would make you feel better..it might at first. But you are teaching your brain that the way to deal with stress or depression is to consume alcohol, a depressant. This leads to more depression, stress and drinking. You can see how it can escalate very fast in a short time. Eventually each time you stop drinking you begin to have an urge to escape, then once you do drink there is more urge or need to escape and the problem feeds on itself and gets worse and worse. At some point you will not be able to determine for yourself when you drink or not drink, the cravings will decide for you.

Parents want to help but their help can be interpreted as nagging and that may not help all that much. The solution is simple, stop drinking while you still can, take a break for a while and make sure you still have the ability to deal with life without chemicals.

Good luck tomorrow.

Sandy
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Unread 09-09-2007, 02:28 PM   #3
Stacey
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Hi Willow76

I guess the first thing you need to do is see your doctor and BE HONEST with him/her this time. They can't help you if you don't tell them what's going on making it a waste of time and money for you. And trust me, I work in the medical field, and there is no story you can tell that has not been heard many times before. They are not there to pass judgment on you....only try to help you.

What kind of help appeals to you? Are you willing to get into counselling or therapy? That would be an appropriate step, for sure. An addiction specialist can help to steer you in the right directions, too, medically and psychologically. There are many options out there if you seek them out. If you pursue the alcohol issue, the other problems may go away on their own, right?

Understand that your mother loves you and is scared that you are making many wrong choices. She has reason to be fearful with what has happened with your family so far. You can't move away from your problems and I'm sure deep down you realize that. Do your siblings also have issues with alcohol?

Make combating the alcohol issue your top priority and, as I said before, the other problems you mentioned will go away on their own and you will be in a much better place for it.

Keep in touch and we are here for you.

Stacey
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Unread 09-10-2007, 01:26 AM   #4
Willow76
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I do realize that i cant move and run away from my proble,ms; i am just really nervous about going to work tomorrow and my mom's threat of sending me away to treatment. I was wondering if i should tell my boss whats going on so she doesnt think i am just playing hookie but at the same time there was days when i called in due to a hangover. Sorry for the babbling but i have a tendency to overthink things and end up working myself up and getting my nerves all frazzled
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Unread 09-10-2007, 01:42 AM   #5
Stacey
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Willow76

I'm sure you will figure out the right thing to do regarding your boss. That's a hard call for anyone other than the person themselves to make. You need to do what you think is best for your situation. Do you think she would understand? What kind of work do you do? Relax the best you can. You can't change the things that have already happened, you can only change your future. That was an important lesson for me to learn and wished I had much earlier.

Let us know how things go tomorrow. You will make the right choice.

Stacey
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Unread 09-10-2007, 09:47 PM   #6
Willow76
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My boss wasn't at work today; she called in sick so i didn't tell her but i did tell my best friend and she is going to help me find an AA meeting in my area. I also told my mom today and she said she was very proud of me for admitting it. I will continue to write and tell you how its going and i want to thank you for helping and listening to me.
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Unread 09-10-2007, 10:37 PM   #7
Stacey
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Willow76
You've made some big steps today! I'm so proud of you. It takes so much strength to finally do what you did. I'm sure you have heard that admission is half the battle, right? AA meetings are a great start. You should do well. Keep an open mind to seeing a therapist or counsellor, Ok? There are lots of options out there for you. Keep us posted!!

Stacey
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Unread 09-18-2007, 09:02 PM   #8
Stacey
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Hi Willow!

How has your week been? Let us know how you are doing, OK.

Stacey
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Unread 09-23-2007, 12:41 AM   #9
CASEY
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Hi Willow 76,

Part of your story concern's me your mother is not tryint to be a pest, I think the only way she feel's she can get through to you is to tell you she will put you in Treatment. She is just scared , she has lost people she love's to this horrible addiction and she doesn't want to lose you. As for admitting you if you are over 18 she cannot do it.
You say you only drink on Weekend's, I have been there and I feel you are lying to yourself. When I was at my worst, I told people I didn't drink during the week , but it was a lie.
I am only telling you this because it is time you start really being honest w/yourself.
Treatment does help and you sound like you may need some. You brouht up your sibling's and I sensed a little resentment toward's them.
Maybe if you found someone you could talk to , that can never repeat a word you say , you may be amazed about how much hurt you are holding inside.
I have nothing against AA, I just found a Therapist of my own, who I could tell anything to (and not run into someone who might know me). I hope you think about it because I feel you do need help, I have been in that boat many year's ago and I got out it wasn't easy. But I found w/my Therapist I was holding on to resentment to thing's that happened to me as a child and also with my 2 sibling's. And remember you can alway's come her, we are stranger's , but we will listen and never judge you, REMEMBER we don't know you. We just care.
Good Luck.
Casey
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