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Unread 01-30-2017, 11:28 AM   #1
asroch88
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Default Some friendly advice

I was dating this guy for over a year. We lived together and the whole nine. Well he was addict before and he had fell back into it while we were together. He up and moved to another state. We have recently been back in contact and we have reconnected really well. He states that he is clean and sober for over 6 months now. His sister tells me that it is true as well. He wants me to move up there to be with him. What are you guys thoughts on this?
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Unread 01-30-2017, 02:34 PM   #2
NancyB
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Hi asroch88, welcome. That's a tough question to answer from the outside looking in. From the outside looking in, it seems like you're the one who has more to risk if things don't work out. Do you feel like it's worth you uprooting your life to move away to an unknown situation? Would you be comfortable with maybe asking him to take random drug tests to ease your mine? If he did relapse again, what are the consequences for you - job, home, etc. How long had he been out of addiction when you met? Do you think six months is enough time for him, or should you wait longer to see if he is stable in recovery? Would YOU feel more comfortable with him moving back near (not necessarily in with) you?

Sorry I don't really have an answer. And I apologize for all the questions, but I wanted to give you some food for thought, hopefully it's helpful. Let us know.

Nancy
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Unread 02-01-2017, 09:11 AM   #3
asroch88
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Thank you Nancy for the food for thought. Those are definitely things I should think about. As for moving back here, his family is up there and he doesn't want to come back to the situation where drugs are so readily available to him. He was in recovery for about 6 years when we met. I think him being around church going family members is probably a good thing for him. It still however is a nerve wrecking move.
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Unread 02-02-2017, 06:27 AM   #4
NancyB
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Hi again, that is a good reason for him to want to stay put. Have you thought about - if it's even possible - to see each other on weekends for a while to see if this is a relationship you want to restart? Not sure how far apart you are, which could pose problems.

Whatever you decide, please make sure it's in YOUR best interest. Keep me posted when you can.

Nancy
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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Unread 02-06-2017, 11:46 AM   #5
asroch88
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Its about a 13 hour drive. I have seen him once already and have another trip planned.
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Unread 02-07-2017, 06:21 AM   #6
NancyB
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How did things go? Did he talk about what he's doing to stay in recovery?

Be safe driving!!

Nancy
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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