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Unread 07-18-2016, 02:38 PM   #1
Tsaravitch
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I have taken 5.7 Subzolv for two years and in may a new doctor upped me to 8.2. I felt like it was okay but then I noticed in meetings that I was nodding off. I looked pale and could not remember words or keep my train of thought. I did this for two months and about a week ago went back to the 5.7 mg Zubzolv. I feel so much better I don't really crave the higher dose. I feel like I have my mind back. I really want to want to continue the titration off and I would like to stop taking Zub's in 2 to 3 months. I am out of the pill world and have had so much financial damage from my drug use that I feel really burned and lost. I am older and never had a career but the promise of my life was supposed to be something different than it is now. I have dreams at night of terror and loss. I wouldn't mind taking a low does of Zubsolv if I didn't have to pay or if i were employed and insurance paid. I have insurance now but I know that when it's time to renew it will go to over a $1000 a month. I reached my deductable because i had a ventral hernia and the surgery to fix it so my meds are really cheap. I really want to get off of this and don't want to take forever to do it. My situation would take to long to explain but I am in great fear because i have lost so much and don't have any clear way to get back to where i was. I know the program says we will loose are fear of financial insecurity but I have seen very few poor people in the program who are really happy. I have seen the lack of money and options change people who otherwise have "good" recovery into hardened, mean people. I just hope I can get my life back. I am alone with no family. I was the handsome youngest gay son of a Stanford educated professor and now I have very little. When the red lights were flashing my family did nothing and I never took my life seriously and now it sucks. I believe in a higher power but I am just not sure it cares about me.
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Unread 07-18-2016, 03:53 PM   #2
nan
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Tsaravitch, Don't give up hope, there are solutions to every problem-we just have to be willing to look for them and to look and accept help along the way. Do you go to any counseling or group sessions. For sure, everyone needs support along the way.

I am glad you found lowering you dose helped you feel better. Are you employed now? Has your family "given up" on you, or do you just have no family left? But, you have yourself and the power to choose to move forward. Sure, it will take a while but one step at a time and focus on progress, not perfection.

I am so glad you stopped in here and talked with us about this. Always good to get things out in the open so they can be dealt with. You have value, you are worth it!

Keep in touch with us and let us know what's going on.

nan
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Unread 07-19-2016, 08:53 AM   #3
NancyB
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Hi Tsaravitch, welcome. Have you looked into the ACA to see if you can get a better insurance rate and coverage?
https://www.healthcare.gov/

Have you tried going lower than 1 Zubsolv. Maybe go every other day or cut the tablet in half and see how you feel doing that?

And like nan mentioned, counseling is a huge part of the process. This link is a good guide:
http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...ad.php?t=23809

And this may be helpful also:
http://www.naabt.org/documents/TimeForChangeNAABT.pdf

Nancy
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