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Unread 09-28-2007, 05:10 PM   #1
patsy
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Posts: 5
Default I know it and so does he

He is an alcoholic,but one who is not willing to get help.I've been on this road for very long time.I think it is time to ask for help before I completely crash and burn.
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Unread 09-28-2007, 05:33 PM   #2
Melony55
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Hi patsy,
Welcome to the forum. I have the same problem. I started going to Al-Anon meetings and it helps to hear what has worked for other people in our position. I found this helpful too: http://www.alcoholanswers.org/alcoho...estions.cfm#14

The people here are very helpful and kind.

Melony[:X]
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Unread 09-28-2007, 07:59 PM   #3
patsy
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Thanks melany,I've become very withdrawn lately,so just talking to people has become difficult.Especially my family,after all they have heard it for years.I don't hide it to protect him,I hide it to protect me.I don't want pity,or advice from people who don't understand alcoholism.I've been through rehab with him and DUI"s,and not making it home some nights and a host of problems,I'm sure you can relate.I would like to know if there is alight at the end of the tunnel,because I haven't seen it for a long time
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Unread 09-28-2007, 08:38 PM   #4
dholland
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I saw what you said Patsy and I know how you feel. My husband is very ill with this disease and had liver failure and was in the hospital just a little over a month ago. When he came out he swore he would never drink again and let his liver rejuvenate and he did well for a month or more and now he is back on it again. It is devastating. What definitely helps is talking to loved ones who can understand and not blame you for the problem. I know my husband will never survive his illness so I have prepared myself to take most of the fear out of it. I will be ready when the time comes. We are soul mates and I love him dearly which makes it so hard. He gets combative when I try to come between him and IT. So he is living in the country home now and I am in the city home and we talk over the phone. I have asked him to decide whether he can live with me without it or not. I have battled it for years with 4 rehabs and now he is back on it again. Tragic stuff. I go to Alanon. You have to have someone to talk to for sure, that is the only hope to sanity.
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Unread 09-28-2007, 09:19 PM   #5
Melony55
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dholland,
When I read your post my eyes began to tear up, then I realized this could be my future too. It is so sad. Has he tried any medication? I hear some of the new ones are effective? It seems he might be open to it since he has already agreed to rehabs. I've been reading some very promising things, plus one of the girls at Al-anon told me her husband will be trying one of the medications next week.
Melony55[:X]
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Unread 09-28-2007, 09:30 PM   #6
patsy
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thanks for sharing dholland,I really don;t think his health will hold out,it use to be mainly beer,but know it's beer and jack and he's had a few episodes at the emergency room.I guess the real problem is that I just can't seem to find the man I married anymore.I call it the jeykl -hide syndrome.Never know who I'm talking to,but I guess it doesn't really matter since he rarely remembers anyway.Or so he says.I understand your sorrow,I know he's on the road to destruction and I also know that I can't save him.I would just like to find a little peace from the sadness.
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Unread 09-28-2007, 10:42 PM   #7
CASEY
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Hi Patsy,

I am so sorry to hear your story. I think you really need to see a Therapist for yourself, you sound like you are falling in a deep depression, remember you matter and you have to start thinking about you. As I have said before, I have no problem with AA or Al-Anon, but that is just not for me . I like having someone I can talk to and he is not related to me and he can never repeat what I say.
He has been a great help, and maybe you can find someone to help you find the light at the end of the tunnel. It is there but it is a scary and long process!
But remember you matter so stop letting him make you his victim ( it sound's harsh but when you put all your energy into someone else you start to lose yourself, Please don't lose who you are. And I understand about family and friend's, that is why I like my Therapist. He know's more about me than anyone in my Family, there are thing's I just don't want to tell them.
Good Luck!
Casey
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Unread 09-29-2007, 12:06 AM   #8
letgoletgod
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Welcome Patsy, I'm so glad you're here and hope that sharing here will ease your pain somewhat. There are a lot of "us" out there and I want to give you some hope and encouragement. You can read one of my stories in "Hope for all". My brother seemed to be lost to the world and near death and just this morning was here with me celebrating the birth of our 45 year old sister's first child 4 days ago.

Al Anon has been a life saver for me over the past 3 years. I have witnessed a lot of miracles but with or without your husband's sobriety, it is important that you help yourself first. You may have heard this before, but it is akin to what they tell you on the airplane when you travel with children: Put the oxygen mask over your face first. You can't help the child if you pass out. The same goes here. A good therapist is helpful as well. If you do attend an Al Anon meeting, please give it a few visits.

My best to you and please utilize the info on this site.

Susan
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