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Unread 08-24-2007, 09:22 PM   #1
letgoletgod
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Posts: 241
Default Hope for All

I wanted to start this post to give hope and encouragement to those with an alcoholic family member or friend. Here is my story...

My brother, now 42 years old was the baby in our family of 4. I won't go into the details, but we had the not so unusual dysfuntional family. The bottom line is, my brother started drinking at the age of 14 and basically continued until December 2005 when he was 41. He drank uncontrollably and heavily for at least 20 of those years. He lost jobs, wrecked cars,had DUI's, stole, went to jail and could not maintain any decent relationships.

His situation was hard on our entire family. My mother was a major enabler. My father died when my brother was 13. My older brother committed suicide (also an alcholic/addict) at the age of 44 and on and on...

For the 2 years prior to December 2005, my brother basically lived in a little house on my mother's property where they would drop food off for him and he would steal, beg or borrow enough money to drink himself into oblivion. She didn't want him on the streets and was afraid he would committ suicide like my older brother. I started attending Al Anon because I was so sad and depressed over his situation. I could not even face him most of the time because he was killing himself.

In December of 2005 I went to his door and found him in a very bad state. I won't go into the details, but it was not a good situation. I asked him if he wanted to die or if he wanted to live. He said he wanted to live. I told him I would drive him to the local Dependence Counseling Center for help right then. He showered and we took off. They offered him a spot in a treatment center that night. He went. Yeah, he drank like crazy on the way because he had the shakes etc so bad. Fast forward 30 days. He moved into a Sober Living Environment for 1 year where he learned to live life on life's terms. He learned to be around people. To work a small job. To take responsibility for himself and to do service work for others.

Today, he lives totally self sufficiently and alcohol free. He calls my children and sends them birthday cards. He is looking forward to the birth of our little nephew in October and you know what he said to me last week? "I can't wait for this little boy to be born because I am going to be the best uncle in the world. I missed being an uncle to your children."

Don't give up hope and don't give up hope on yourself either. Whether they are drinking or not, you still have to live your life. Reach out for support. It makes all the difference in the world.

S.B.
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Unread 08-27-2007, 12:20 AM   #2
JeannieR
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Posts: 23
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Hi Susan, thank you for posting that wonderful story.

You are an angel. I appreciate all that you've done for me and Matt.

I'm so happy for you, your brother and your whole family.

Hugs,
Jeannie
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Unread 09-23-2007, 06:40 AM   #3
dixie
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Posts: 176
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Dear Susan,
Wow, does your story sound familiar. My son started drinking in highschool and is still drinking today, 15 years later. He has multiple DUI's, just got another one, lost his license, wrecked my truck this time and had my granddaughters in the car when he did it! He lives with us at age 32, pays no rent. He works a steady job that he enjoys but had to look for for over 6 months to find because nobody would hire him. When a background check is done and habitual DUI's show, employers are more than a little hesitant to offer you a job. Anyway, since this last incident involving the girls, we've pretty much given him an ultimatum - he's been told to get into rehab or get out. He can't stay with us any longer. We love him so much and he is such a good person but we can't keep letting him live like this. He's smart and kind and good-looking (he'd be quite a catch if he wasn't drunk all the time or planning to get that way). Your story of your brother made me happy and hopeful. I have prayed for years that my son would sober up. Maybe he will, with help. I am proud that your brother could make such an incredible change in his life and so glad that he's a positive part of your life. Wish us luck!
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Unread 09-28-2007, 03:43 PM   #4
letgoletgod
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Posts: 241
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Hi Dixie! so glad you found this site. I most certainly send you and your son my best and prayers. Don't ever feel bad about setting boundaries with your son. It is the best thing you can do for him and yourself. Please use this website and feel free to email me if I can be of any help or support. I have found that Al Anon is a great resource for my sanity.

Susan
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Unread 10-02-2007, 02:19 AM   #5
dixie
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Posts: 176
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Susan, I've actually been thinking about finding a place to go to an Al Anon meeting - I think I need it especially since I don't think we will ever find a place for my son. I have thought of your story though, a few times since I read it and have found myself smiling, thinking that maybe, just maybe my son might figure it out some day soon. I hope so!
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