Addiction Survivors

Notices

Reply
Unread 09-26-2009, 12:06 PM   #151
CarlyO
Moderator
 
CarlyO's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,566
Default

Hi 1418,
I am glad you posted an update. I think all of your instincts are spot on. Maybe he has sought out an enabler/ someone to be with because he lacks the tools to deal with his issues as in this is way of coping /moving on.
All you can do is what you are doing - keeping your son healthy and safe.

I know others will gain a lot from your experiences, there are many "lurkers" , people who read the forums but for whatever reason, not ready to post..yet. We do not know who they are or anything, but admin. has stats on the number of visitors and there are many!
Also, thank you for your insight on other threads, it is very much appreciated !

I am glad things are going well for you, you deserve peace and happiness in your life !
Take care, Carly : )
__________________
Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.

Last edited by CarlyO; 09-26-2009 at 12:10 PM..
CarlyO is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 11-10-2009, 10:37 PM   #152
1418
Senior Member
 
Posts: 427
Default

Hi Everyone,


A quick update... I have moved into a new place. My son is struggling and I am now seeing (as is m son) a "coach" - aka - counselor to help both of us. We fight constantly.

The good news is that children typically "unleash" with the parent they trust and feel the most comfortable with... which means in my case my son is REALLY comfortable with me! Part of it is also his age. The counselor mentinoed on some level our son probably knows that his father isn't right, so he tries to be very good when with his father - so he doesn't upset his father.

I don't know if my ex continues to drink or not. My guess is that he does. His mentality is still that he is a victim. I didn't leave because he wouldn't be helpf for drinking, that he wouldn't go to counseling, etc.. it was because i waqs having an affair (again - NEVER happened!!). Unfortunately this victim mentality seems to be rubbing off on our son. The counselor has given me good techniques to use with my son when he is headed down this "victim" path.

I want to let people know that the effects of the alcoholic continue, even if you leave a marriage and build a new life. HOWEVER - I can't stress enough how much better it is than being in my old life. At least now I have the abiltiy to seek out healthy relationships with others and I am working at being the best mother I can possibly be.

Thanks for listening.
1418 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 11-11-2009, 12:48 PM   #153
Saint
Senior Member
 
Saint's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,364
Default

1418,

Congratulations on making the decision that was right for you and your son. It's heartening to hear you speak positively of your new life and the opportunities for you and your child going forward.

Children can be a handful at times but that is why they are called children and not adults! They need loving,wise, compassionate and strong parents to lead them on their path towards maturity.

Stay strong.

Regards

Last edited by Saint; 11-11-2009 at 12:51 PM..
Saint is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 11-11-2009, 02:11 PM   #154
jerryg
Moderator
 
Posts: 525
Default

1418,

It sounds like you are making some sound steps. You seem to have a good attitude and you are making use of help. This is good to hear.

Yes I agree, people tend to vent with those they feel safest with. It is not easy but if you see it that way you take steps to maintain the relationship with honesty, patience and humility. They upset stuff will pass and hopefully the relationship is strengthened for all the work.
I hope you and your son continue to work things out. And I would hope his father comes around. You have moved on from him but he is still a father. Let's hope for the best.

All the best,
Jerry
__________________
Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
jerryg is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 11-11-2009, 08:13 PM   #155
R. Lee
Senior Member
 
Posts: 4,984
Default

1418, Glad you gathered the strength to move on. It is wise getting counseling for the both of you.

When your son is grown you won't have to deal with the X. Good luck. R. Lee
R. Lee is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 11-12-2009, 11:39 AM   #156
CarlyO
Moderator
 
CarlyO's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,566
Default

Dear 1418,
Ditto on all of the feedback.

Thank you for sharing an update and especially sharing insight into what you and your child are going through. It helps all of us, and it makes sense what you are learning. I believe with work you and your child will transition to a stronger relationship.
YOU are a GOOD MOTHER.
Hang in there, take good care, Carly
__________________
Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
CarlyO is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 11-12-2009, 03:09 PM   #157
Magda
Moderator
 
Magda's Avatar
 
Posts: 417
Default

1418-
Happy to see that you put you and your son first.It is going to get easier with each passing day, I believe. My ex plays the victim card perfectly(NOTHING is ever his fault). My daughter is getting older and wiser and has seen her father under the influence and it is something she is tired of dealing with, so I confronted him.It seems as long as he knows I am staying on top of the situation, he behaves. I guess I will just have to keep things this way, for her sake.
You have given your son refuge from the the daily hell of having a alcoholic parent, be proud of that and keep going to see your support source.I will keep you in my thoughts.Take Care, Mags
__________________
Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
Magda is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 11-14-2009, 08:39 AM   #158
SLynn
Moderator
 
SLynn's Avatar
 
Posts: 866
Default

1418

I'm so impressed with how far you've come and in the manor in which you've handled yourself. It seems you've done all the right things to make this transition 'easier' for all involved. While I know it's not easy, knowing the "how's and why's" of what's happening is important....especially for you, who is taking the brunt of the heat at this point.

Your son will know (if he doesn't already) what's happened to the marriage on his own. It may take time to show you that he knows, but it'll happen.

Take care and keep in touch. You ARE an inspiration to many who read.

SLynn
__________________
Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
SLynn is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 12-01-2009, 12:01 PM   #159
SLynn
Moderator
 
SLynn's Avatar
 
Posts: 866
Default

1418

Just checking on you and hope all is well.

SLynn
__________________
Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
SLynn is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 12-05-2009, 01:21 PM   #160
1418
Senior Member
 
Posts: 427
Default

Hi Slynn,

Thank you for your post! I am happy to say, all in all, things are going quite well. I still dream about my ex getting drunk and I wake up in a cold sweat with worry, but I guess that is to be expected. My mind must still be processing things.

I have dreams where my ex is telling me that without me he is just going to keep on drinking. I must have some guilt inside of me that is still trying to work its way out.

I am asked fairly regularly by people if he is still drinking, what he is doing for money to live on, etc.. It is a relief to be able to say that I don't know and his money problems are no longer my problems. The only thing I worry about is how he acts around my son.

My son and I continue to see a counselor, which is really helping a ton. I know some of you out there haven't had luck with counselors, but when you find the right one, it can be a huge relief. My son is more relaxed around me now, less anxious, and the two of us are laughing more than ever together. The counselor has taught us both a few little tricks to use to keep us on track with our communication and keep it from escalating when we don't understand one another. I am so proud of my son. He is a brave little man and I absolutely love him to pieces.

Alcohol continues to play a role in my life (in terms of my ex and his abuse of it) but it no longer has the strangle hold on me that it did previously.

Sending you all lots of love and positive thoughts!
1418 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 12-05-2009, 08:13 PM   #161
R. Lee
Senior Member
 
Posts: 4,984
Default

1418, You sound good. Keep doing the right things.
R. Lee is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-07-2010, 08:30 AM   #162
SLynn
Moderator
 
SLynn's Avatar
 
Posts: 866
Default

1418

I hope you and your son had wonderful and peaceful holidays. Happy New Year!

SLynn
__________________
Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
SLynn is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 02-22-2010, 06:27 PM   #163
1418
Senior Member
 
Posts: 427
Default He can still get to me - UGGGG

Even though I have been HAPPILY divorced, recent events have caused me to feel the frustration of dealing with the disease yet again. I am sharing this becuase some people out there (Chai in particular) are posting comments that they are weak. You are NOT weak - the thing is, this disease changes people - and even after being out of the marriage for almost 10 months, that victim mentality still really bugs the living daylights out of me.

This past weekend, my Ex's ceiling in his kitchen fell in (part of it). He had given me grief when we were together for climing on the roof and shoveling off the snow to avoid ice dams. Needless to say, this past winter he hasn't been shoveling the roof and whamo - part of the kitchen ceiling caved in.

Then he starts in about how "poor him - got stuck with the old house in the divorce." Yes - he got "stuck" with it - 100% paid off I might add!! Give me a break.

Yes, he may have to pay the deductible for insurnace, but you know what? TOO BAD - get a JOB! Then he had the nerve to ask me for some money. I told him no.

Today it was the same thing - poor him, got screwed in the divorce, I made him drink, he is the victim, blah blah blah. Then he told me that he had a flat tire today. I didn't laugh on the phone, but sometimes - you have to love karma. What goes around, comes around.

I'm not going to let him suck me in. His house, his unemployment status, his problem.

Thanks for listening.
1418 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 02-23-2010, 11:11 AM   #164
CarlyO
Moderator
 
CarlyO's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,566
Default

Dear 1418,

I am so sorry he has not made connection between his alcohol misuse and the negative consequences that have and are occurring in his life. To sum it up Denial. It is not surprising he is trying pull you into his misery, old habits, coping mechanisms, he probably knows no other way. Until he changes, nothing will change.

Stay strong - it sounds like you are not having any part of his manipulations, rightly so ! I hope his family is not enabling him and one day sooner than later he will realize most of his problems can be traced back to the alcohol and finally get help. It is such a shame he is missing out on so much with his child.

Thank you for sharing this - it is good to hear from people who have made it through, you show us that yes, it CAN be DONE !

Take care, Carly : )
__________________
Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
CarlyO is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 02-23-2010, 12:04 PM   #165
Fiedler
Senior Member
 
Posts: 183
Default

1418-

You sound stronger than you probably feel. You bet he is so peeved at his circumstances, but isn't ready to SEE that it was him that caused it. So pathetic. I am still living with my husband and yes, he blames me for his drinking too. I thought I was at the point of leaving, but then started to think if I am more pleasant, he will get better. I feel like I'm reverting back instead of making progress. Anyway, you are where you need to be so congratulations and hang in there. Maybe you sh ould stop taking phone calls from him? Don't know if that works for you or not, but that may help with your peace of mind. Change your phone number!!

Fiedler
Fiedler is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 02-23-2010, 09:56 PM   #166
Saint
Senior Member
 
Saint's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,364
Default

1418,

Hi - I trust you realize he can "still get to you" because you still let him. He's pushing your buttons, and you are reacting, probably the same way when you were married??? Just a thought.

There are plenty of people that play the victim card, they aren't all addicts. You're doing the right thing, stay strong.

Regards
Saint is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 02-28-2010, 06:46 PM   #167
Magda
Moderator
 
Magda's Avatar
 
Posts: 417
Default

1418-

What you may not realize is that you will be healing and feeling the effects of this disease for a long time.Just because a divorce took place does not mean all the damage has been erased. I know it feels better to be free of the person suffering with the disease, but the feelings he/she brought out in you remain. I have been apart from the person who hurt me as a result of their alcoholism for over a decade and still am repairing myself from it, I am only saying this out of care and concern- I have been subjected to so many people(friends and family) with alcoholism, that I sometimes feel it will take an eternity to process all the emotional ups and downs that transpired.
My ex is very similar to what you are describing with your ex. He is always such a victim, and even plays this game with our 15 year old daughter. I am so furious with him for not getting his disease under control and putting her through so much unnecessary pain. He has been trying to get sober for two years but keeps messing up- recently he had her for a visit and I was on my way to pick her up when I got rear-ended by a young girl. My car was inoperable and while I was waiting for the tow truck I called my daughter to tell her I was OK but needed her father to drive her home, he said he did not have the gas to do it- nice huh? Did not give a damn about the fact that my car just got smashed and I had no way to pick her up- he just was worried about the gas money.I flipped out because I could not believe he could be so inconsiderate. A few days later he instant messaged me saying he was sorry, that it was stress because he was trying to deal with his staying sober. I have heard his sob stories for so long that I have had enough and my daughter is so sick of it that she refuses to go see him- I told her that she will have to eventually confront her feelings and him, but I will not let her do it alone anymore because he manipulates her.
It is a crazy world dealing with a drunk- I hope your life continues to improve and you continue to not be a victim ever again!
__________________
Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
Magda is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 03-02-2010, 05:29 PM   #168
1418
Senior Member
 
Posts: 427
Default Abandons our son for the bar

I will try to make this long story short. Last night at midnight my son called me, crying. He couldn't find his father anywhere in the house. His father told him that he was going out to the shed to close it up around 9:50 pm and that was the last my son saw of him.

I kept my son on the phone and drove over to my ex's house. My son was worried he had done something wrong. I told him absolutely not, that he did the right thing.

I called my parents, then called his parents (who live RIGHT next door -their yards touch). His mother stayed with my son while his father and I went looking for hiim outside. Couldn't find him. Then we drove on some nearby roads wondering if he was in a ditch - coudln't find him.

His father stated, "if he is at the bar I am going to kick his ass." His father suggested we go check the bars. I told him I had no idea which bar to check.. his father provided me the name with 2 of them.

Arrived back at the house. Told his mother no sign of him. I suggested we start calling hospitals and the police. She suggested we go check the bars. I said no, but that I would call.

I called the bar, talked with a bartender, asked for my ex by name and she said, "Yea, he's here. Hold on." He gets on the phone and I yell, "What the HELL are you doing?" He asked who it was, I told him my name, he asked who? I told him my name and then hung up.

I told my son that we were leaving and we went to my parent's home. His parents stayed there at the house.

I will spare you some of the details, but my ex calls me this morning stating that he needs money and he went to meet "this guy." And that was the only time, "this guy" could meet him - at 1:00 am at a bar, and my ex replied, "yes."

I am filing for full custody. I have had it. When he called to apologize to my son, he told my son that, "he had some things to do." My son hung up and said, "Yeah, some thing to do - like go to the bar."

I was on the phone with my attorney at 7:30 am, we are working on the documents now.

GET THIS - his mother told me that he was a nice guy before he met me, and that I am partially to blame for all of this. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????

I am cancelling my vacation that I was supposed to be leaving for on Saturday, and will be out close to $2k.

I am grateful my employer is being understanding. I was supposed to be in a trainig session 3 hours away today and the next 2 days... but that isn't going to happen.

My poor son kept saying, "the thing that really hurts is that he left me to go to a bar."

The only redeaming quality that my ex had remaining in my eyes was that he was a good father. NOT ANYMORE.

He is a complete waste of space. I am completely finished with him. I have not bad mouthed him once in front of my son, nor will I, so all of you get my true feelings. I think my ex is a complete sack of steaming dog crap.

I am so completely beyond furious right now. I brok down and cried half way through the day. I was numb for the night and this morning, cried at noon, and now I am angry.

I hope that he doesn't try to come and see us. I want him to STAY AWAY.
1418 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 03-03-2010, 12:36 PM   #169
CarlyO
Moderator
 
CarlyO's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,566
Default

Dearest 1418,

I am so sorry that your son had to deal with that, and you too! I can only imagine what was going through your son's mind and thank God, Allah, the heavens, etc... that he knew to call you. I would think now, make certain your son believes that he is not at fault or feels guilty in any way. I am sure he has strong feelings about being left alone.

The remark by your mother in law is just ignorance and denial- and uncalled for. I hope that you can get the custody sorted out asap. You tried to work with your with ex, but there is no excuse for his behavior and honestly I could not trust him ever again, if it were me.
It is such a shame, I really had hoped he would get help.

Hang in there, once again do what you have to for your son's safety. I hate that you back in this position again. I am just so thankful your son is safe.

Take care, Carly
__________________
Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
CarlyO is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 03-03-2010, 06:03 PM   #170
R. Lee
Senior Member
 
Posts: 4,984
Default

1418, Your inlaws knew where to check didn't they. I bet his father did not kick his ass like he said he would. His mother has to blame you. Sounds like they enable him. Don't trust them any more than you can throw them.

You know what you have to do now. There is no excuse in the world for him leaving your son home alone so he can go to the bar. Your son is aware of his fathers behavior now. He has dug his hole now let him lay in it.

Follow through & remove you & your son from that situation. Best of luck.
R. Lee is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 03-03-2010, 06:34 PM   #171
SLynn
Moderator
 
SLynn's Avatar
 
Posts: 866
Default

1418

I'm just sick inside over your story. WHAT was your ex thinking?!? Amazing how twisted your thoughts can get and yet still your diseased mind tells you they are ok. You tell your mind they are ok so then you believe it.

I feel for your son...so much. How scary that must have been and how sad he must feel inside as he comes to this realization. I have said many times before that I am a child of some of the same dysfunction and it's a very scary place. If you can't count on your parents, who can you count on? I'm just so sorry. I'm also a new mother, so my emotions on this are compounded.

You're doing the right thing. You know where you stand....where he stands...and you have to act on it.

It hurts his family to see this happen. If they can blame you, then it hurts them less. It's sick....but not uncommon. Take it with a grain of salt if you can.

Keep us posted.

SLynn
__________________
Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
SLynn is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 03-03-2010, 10:12 PM   #172
1418
Senior Member
 
Posts: 427
Default

Hi Everyone,

Thank you all for your comments and support. I went to my attorneys office this morning and signed the docs. I tried calling my ex twice and left vmails but he didn't pick up. Then I called and told him I was sitting in my attorney's office and if he didn't call me by noon I would be filing papers with the court. He called about 10 minutes later.

I gave him 2 options:

#1) I go through the courst and file for full placement. The court would appoint an attorney/guardian for my son, and then the court would question my son about all of the past things that have gone on, and then the court would change the placement schedule.

#2) My ex agrees that I have primary placement and no overnights with my ex until he (a) gets a job (b) sees a debt counselor and implements the plan and (c) seeks counseling and an AODA assessment

He will still have the opportunity to spend time with our son, but only from 4:30 - 7:30 pm on school days and then 8:00 am - 7:30 pm on
weekends. If he completes the above, he will be able to earn the overnights back again. If he fails, it will result in supervised visits with our son.

He selected option #2.

This evening he told me that he'd go ahead and sign whatever I wanted him to, that it would all work out anyway. I told him that he MUST read the documents before he signs them. I am giving him the document tomorrow.

I don't know what he is capable of anymore. I never EVER thought he would leave our son at home alone. He told me that the reason he did it was becuase he needs money and he needed to meet a guy, and the only time the guy could meet was at 1:00 am at the bar. RIGHT!!!

I do believe that he is desperate for money. He hasn't worked and I'm not giving him anymore money. I don't know how he has burned through everything he received in the divorce.

He told me that he needs help, but not for what I think he needs help for. I'm not sure what that means. Maybe he is addicted to gambling, some other drug, I don't know what.. but his behavior is consistent with being addicted to something.

The only redeeming (sp) quality my ex had was being a good father. Now that is gone. His back is against the wall. Either he is going to get it together, or else he will probably end up dead.

It makes me a bit nervous that he is picking up our son tomorrow. I'm going to have my inlaws meet him at the house along with my son.

I'll keep you posted.
1418 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 03-04-2010, 08:37 PM   #173
1418
Senior Member
 
Posts: 427
Default

Well, my ex picked up the paperwork today around 1:30 pm I think. When he picked up my son at 3:00 from school, my ex told our son that he would be picking him up from school going forward. That is NOT what is in the agreement. I specifically called out that our son would be going to After School program. I have a feeling this is going to get messy.

Meanwhile at work I am not performing very well. I am forgetting to do things, items are slipping through the cracks... NOt just from this week, but ealier too. I think all of this may be taking its toll on me.

I am anxious about tomorrow. I don't know what my ex is going to do.. fight me on this? Try to pick up our son tomorrow? I don't want our son in the middle of anything. I wish my ex would STOP telling our son things - he needs to deal DIRECTLY with me. But the lousy piece of crap won't... I can't stant that SOB. I have nothing good to say about him. He makes me sick. I am absolutely furious. Once again, his disease is messing with my life. I know I will forever be somewhat tied to my ex (due to our son)... but that stupid piece of shit makes me sick. I am angry.. very very angry.

I have given that SOB every chance to succeed. The items I outlined in the agreement are the same items I told him he needed to do in order to save our marriage. I am still thankful he refused with me, becuase I am sooooooo much better off being divorced from him. He keeps on playing the victim - poor him, he is "stuck" with an old house. BULL SHIT. First of all, he begged me to keep that house. SEcond of all, he owns it outright - free and clear. No mortgage. Finally, I had to pay off some of his debt... the lovely charges that he put on our personal credit card due to his business failing.

He told our son today that he may sell the business. RIGHT - it hasn't made money in 4 years. Maybe he is referring to selling the equipment? He is also tossing around the idea of getting a partner for the business. I pity the poor bastard that does that. Given my ex's reputation, I don't think anybody is going to want to go into business with him. I hate that rat bastard right now. He is a no good piece of crap.
1418 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 03-05-2010, 08:58 AM   #174
Saint
Senior Member
 
Saint's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,364
Default

1418,

I can understand the need to protect your child - by all means do what is necessary to ensure your ex abides by the court order for parental visitation. Talk to your ex and discuss the visitation plan. Perhaps he misunderstood, if not I would tell him the next time he violates the parental plan you will contact the authorities.

I really feel for you but I hate to see you get caught up in the past. All the negative emotions are not doing you any good, they will not improve your situation nor help you move forward. Your ex can play the pity card all he wants and I believe he will continue to do so until he sees it isn't working on you anymore. Don't buy into it, don't let him rent space in your head for free. Yes he will always be a part of your life because of your child but you don't have to buy into all the drama.

I wish you the best during this difficult time. Stay Strong.

Saint
Saint is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 03-05-2010, 09:33 AM   #175
R. Lee
Senior Member
 
Posts: 4,984
Default

1418, Stay strong & insist that he stays within the boundrys of the law. He will continue to push you buttons. Remember is is stuck in his same old rut. He will lash out because he is doing the same old things expecting different results & it is not working for him. As Saint says don't let him rent space in your head. By doing that maybe you can get back on track at work & slowly get back to a normal life.
R. Lee is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 03-05-2010, 05:45 PM   #176
1418
Senior Member
 
Posts: 427
Default

Thank you very much for your support (as always)!!! The good news is that my ex has called a financial person for help, and he signed the paperwork. There is no question how serious I am about all of this.

I really hope that he is able to get it together. He is taking the right steps right now (still VERY early). I will need to see sustained behavior changes. He needs to earn my trust as well as the trust of his son.

Again, thank you very much for your support. It means a great deal to me.

Take care,
1418 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 03-05-2010, 06:09 PM   #177
R. Lee
Senior Member
 
Posts: 4,984
Default

Your welcome. We are here for each other.
R. Lee is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 04-07-2010, 10:51 AM   #178
1418
Senior Member
 
Posts: 427
Default

Update -

I confronted my Ex and asked him what he was doing for a job/why he was thinking he would be picking up our son from school. He said he had 10 jobs lined up for the spring (landscaping business) and that he is going to try to make a go of it. If he can't, then he will start looking. He hasn't moved forward on any of the other items in the Agreement as far as I can tell. Calling 10 jobs "moving forward" is a stretch as well since the business lost money the past 4 years... I remember saying to him (kindly/gently) when we were still married that we would be better off and SAVE money if he didn't run the business at all - becuase we were putting so much $ into it to keep it running.

I heard this weekend that he is dating the daughter of the people that own the bar that he went to the night he left our son home alone. I can HONESTLY say I do not have any ill feelings about him dating. My only concern is the connection to the bar, spending time at the bar, and his drinking and how all of this impacts our son. This does help explain how he can be drinking without having any money....

Thanks for listening.

-Katie
1418 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 04-07-2010, 03:44 PM   #179
R. Lee
Senior Member
 
Posts: 4,984
Default

Katie, An alcoholic will put the drink ahead of everything else. That is how I always live my life. Me 1st until I got the gift of sobriety.
R. Lee is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 04-10-2010, 01:00 PM   #180
CarlyO
Moderator
 
CarlyO's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,566
Default

Dear Katie,

I can understand your concern for the person your ex has chosen to date. To me it shows he is not changing, in spite of all that he has lost, he has not hit bottom yet.
I shared the story about my dear friend who went through your situation. While she never regrets her decision to leave after he had chances to get help, it is now 5 years down the road.
The ex has been to jail multiple times, DUIs, not paying child support, sees the child maybe twice a year, many times he just never showed up, leaving a little girl heartbroken. She has custody and visitation is supervised, I have been with them on visits and the ex- who chooses a mall that sells alcohol to visit - left us, his child, to go get beer, that is just sad for a 2 hour visit. He also has this pattern where chooses women who are willing to enable him, he somehow charms them into letting him live with them, he has yet to have his own place, then it all falls apart. However his charm will soon fade away.

I am sharing this because I am afraid he will seek out women who will Not judge him about his drinking, job - lack there of etc...

The daughter is smart as whip, is surrounded by loving grandparents, aunts and uncles. she recently said, You know Mom - Daddy has not called me in a long time, Mom says do you want to talk to him, see him ?? she replied, he won't call or show up, I cannot trust my Father, she is 7 years old.
That just breaks my heart.

Anyway, I know you are doing your best for the both of you. Stay strong, remember you deserve to be happy and have peace in your life !
I still pray that he will seek help so he can be great , responsible Father. Until then you do what you need to do.

Take care, Carly
__________________
Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
CarlyO is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 04-26-2010, 10:48 PM   #181
1418
Senior Member
 
Posts: 427
Default

Hello everyone,

My ex called me this evening and told me that, "he is doing what you (I) asked him to do." Then he said that he is enrolled in a class. I dn't have any other information.

I am indifferent about his "news." For my son's sake, I hope he gets it together, but as far as I am concerned, I don't trust him any farther than I can throw him. Plus the way he phrased it.. "the things that I wanted him to do." I don't really care what he does anymore. I would be impressed if he said something to the effect that he is getting help for his problems... He still hasn't owned his drinking imo.

I have my son and my son is safe. If my ex gets it together - great. If not - oh well!
1418 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-02-2010, 03:47 PM   #182
CarlyO
Moderator
 
CarlyO's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,566
Default

Dear 1418,

I think you are wise, enrolling in a class is a bit vague. It is a start at least and I hope he is able to face his issues and seek help in earnest. But ...imo- until he has proven he has truly changed, keep doing what is best for you and your son.

I hope all is going well with you both, take care, Carly : )
__________________
Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
CarlyO is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-02-2010, 08:15 PM   #183
R. Lee
Senior Member
 
Posts: 4,984
Default

1418, As a recovering alcoholic I pray for the suffering alcoholics still out there.

I do like how you are handling you X. He blew his chances with you. Alcoholics don't loose things. They give them away.
R. Lee is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-06-2010, 09:50 AM   #184
1418
Senior Member
 
Posts: 427
Default

Hi R. Lee and Carly,

Thank you for your posts. My son finally had an emotional release the other day. My son really hasn't cried since all of this happened. A long story short, my son was upset with me becuase I woudln't take him to his father's house to pick up a video game at 9:00 pm on a school night. My son cried for over and hour.

I know he can't get made as his father, becuase his father is incapable of being reponsible/handling anything. I think it was good for him to get it out and cry. The next day my son was fine.

The other night I asked my son if my Ex plays with him when he is at my Ex's house. My son said that the Ex will say he will go outside and play baseball if my son can find teh baseballs. My son will find the baseballs and then tell his father he is ready to play, and then his father changes his mind and says he won't play and he takes a nap.

I thinK I am goign to have to pop in unannounced when my son is at my Ex's place and ask for a breathalizer. I don't know how else to determine if he is drinking with my son there during the day or not. If he is - he loses all priveleges to see my son...

Thanks for listening.
1418 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-06-2010, 01:29 PM   #185
CarlyO
Moderator
 
CarlyO's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,566
Default

Hi,

I think you have no other option than to pop in, the point of visitation with his Dad is to have meaningful time together, hearing the reality of what happens is so heartbreaking.
That is the crux of addiction, a person may be physically present, but emotionally has checked out so to speak. It is such a shame and it sounds like your son is frustrated, hurt, confused, by his Dad's actions- rightly so. But also he may soon become wise to his ways, you are doing the right thing by being there for him.
Taking a nap during visitation sounds like something is going on imo. Either he is hungover or drinking or both.
Keep doing what is best and safe for your son in regards to visitation.

Hang in there, Carly
__________________
Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
CarlyO is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-06-2010, 08:21 PM   #186
R. Lee
Senior Member
 
Posts: 4,984
Default

1418, Check up on him. You can smell it on his breath if he is using alcohol. If he is intoxicated call the police & make a report. If he has just had a couple of drinks the police probably won't get involved.
R. Lee is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-07-2010, 11:00 AM   #187
1418
Senior Member
 
Posts: 427
Default

Carly & RLee,

Thank you both for your support and for your clear/direct suggestions. I know what I need to do. Some part of me was still hoping the Ex would get his stuff together and maybe I wouldn't have to do the pop-in, but I know you are both right. I'll follow through and let you know what is happening.

Thanks again!
1418 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-25-2010, 12:35 AM   #188
1418
Senior Member
 
Posts: 427
Default

Hello,

I am not sure if this post belongs here or on the "off topic" section, but I guess I will find out!

I find myself very angry. I love my son to pieces, but now that I have full placement (becuase my ex left him home alone to go to a bar), my life is completely programmed around my son. Don't get me wrong, I know that having him with me is the best thing for both of us... but I find myself despearately wanting time for me and to do what I want to do.

I should be thankful I have a job. Instead I find myself being very angry about the unrealistic expectations they have of the employees (lots of people cut but the work load never changed - just went up as fewer people to do the work), and many people are sitting and pointing fingers whenever they can. Everyone is afraif of losing their jobs.

I am just flat our angry. I am ticked off that my Ex can't get it together enough to have our son 50% of the time. His inability to admit he has a problem and to get help is taking its toll on me. I am just so darn angry.

My time is accounted for at all times. I can do this or can't do that because I must be home by 7:30 pm so that my son can sleep at my house, etc.

I know I should just be thankful that my son isn't hurt, that he is doing well, that I have a good job... I find myself binge eating. I think I am doing that because I am not expressing my angry. I am gaining weight. I've never been this heavy before, which doesn't do much for my self confidence.

Any advice on how to work out the anger? Being ticked off at work really isn't a good move, and today, if I could have, I would have walked out. A senior leadership person is blaming me for things that are completely out of my control. My boss is out of town, so I have been keeping my boss' boss in the loop on things, but what a waste of time. All this updating and cya activity instead of just getting the work finished. I think normally I could handle it, but with my life pretty much controlled by when i have my son (thanks again to my freaking ex for not doing his share)... UGGGG

I received an email today from a high school friend. She was unaware that we had divorced. My high school friend mentioned that my Ex did some work for her parents over 1 month ago and he hasn't ever sent a bill. They have tried calling him to find out how much they owe and he STILL doens't call them back. What a complete piece of junk. He isn't changing. Not one bit. So I need to figure out a way to work out my anger in a healthy manner, because this is going to be my lifestyle for some time to come.

Suggestions?
1418 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-25-2010, 12:06 PM   #189
Fiedler
Senior Member
 
Posts: 183
Default

1418-

First of all, there is no "right" place here to post. You post-we respond with whatever we can to help. I can see that you are very stressed and in need of some alone time. What about your folks? Are they willing to come to your house and watch him while you go shopping or something? I can't remember from your last posts if they live nearby or not. What about your ex's parents?? I'm sure they'd love to see their grandson. I know you have to work around your ex's time with your son, but maybe it's time you went for full custody, so the poor kid doesn't have to get disappointed. It sounds to me like you could also use some counseling. What you have been through takes a toll on a person. The counselor you saw before helped you figure out what to do with you ex, but now you need someone to help you live your new life. I think that also, you and your son should go somewhere together. Make time for yourselves. With my kids, we go see a movie every other Saturday. Just us. My husband doesn't come. Not only does he hate movies, but it's his Wii night where he drinks- I don't go with him anymore. So I decided to do something fun with me and the kids and they look forward to it and love it. I hope this helps and don't hesitate to write here. If nothing else, it helps to unload your stress!!

Fiedler
Fiedler is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-25-2010, 08:40 PM   #190
R. Lee
Senior Member
 
Posts: 4,984
Default

1418, Your plate is full. You are feeling overwhelmed. You are not going to change him.
Fiedler offered some good suggestions.
It is great that you feel safe enough here to vent. You are in my thoughts & prayers.
R. Lee is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-25-2010, 10:44 PM   #191
1418
Senior Member
 
Posts: 427
Default

Thank you for your posts. Do you think if I do more things alone with my son he wll feel confident enough to give me some space? This evening I was eating a second bowl of cereal (for "desert" - another binge type evening of food), and he wanted to go upstairs. I told him to go on up and I would be up shortly. He wouldn't go up by himself.

I was going to go for a walk this evening around the small neighborhood we live in but he didn't want me to go. It is tough having him at times. I can't do anything without my son being with me. I am feeling strangled. I just want my son to give me some space. I know he can't because of everythign he has been to.

Do you think Al-Anon could help me? I need to do something. I can't keep binge eating. This isn't healthy. Part of me is thinking, "stop - this isn't good for you and you will feel awful when you finish that bowl of cereal" but I just keep on shoveling it in.

Thoughts?
1418 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-26-2010, 08:51 AM   #192
Fiedler
Senior Member
 
Posts: 183
Default

1418-

IMO your son NEEDS you sooo much and just by having you accompany him upstairs gives him some comfort. He is feeling insecure and your presence, even though it may seem you are being suffocated, is very important for him right now. I don't think this will last with him, you just need to give him what he needs UNTIL he knows you are not going anywhere. As far as your binge eating, this is another symptom of your anxiety and insecurity. It has just manifested itself as this binge eating. Again, this is just my opinion, but as an outsider, I think this is what is happening. Al-anon will help you keep dealing with the disease of alcoholism that has affected your life. But I think you need a counselor to help you with the binge eating. Hang in there and God bless.

Fiedler
Fiedler is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-26-2010, 08:34 PM   #193
R. Lee
Senior Member
 
Posts: 4,984
Default

1418, How old is your son? Al Anon is a 12 step program like A.A. It gives you suggestions on how to live with an alcoholic. It also gives you suggestions when like in your case surviving after being married to an alcoholic.

Like Fiedler said your binge eating is a symptom of anxiety, insecurity & maybe other things.

I would suggest you google Al Anon meetings in your area & give 1 a try. If that does not work then get some 1 on 1 counseling & go from there.

Just like A.A. it is suggested in Al Anon to learn to love ourselves again. Hang in there.
R. Lee is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 05-29-2010, 01:38 PM   #194
CarlyO
Moderator
 
CarlyO's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,566
Default

Dear 1418,

I know I always mention my friend who went through a similar experience but it is amazing how much you 2 have in common, granted you are both at different stages, but I think part of this from your son is normal behavior - this need for security from the responsible parent.YOU .
Bottom line - you do need time to for yourself, there were times my friend felt the same things you do. We spent many hours on the phone when she was ready to pull her hair out !
I am not sure how you feel about involving his family? Probably not a good idea if they are still in denial about his alcohol issues.
It is a lot to be responsible for finances, your son's emotional well being, dealing with your own issues - jobs, dating world ....( same thing with my friend ) - but as time has passed and her ex has refused to get help, call his child even on b-days holidays and no shows for visitation, my friend's child has come to accept this as best as a child can.

Long story short - things did get better. And they will for you.
She has since had a few serious relationships, looks great ! She also goes out with friends, and has a Girl's get together for Grey's each week at her house, a book club also. She had to do these things for her own sanity.

Would your son be interested in summer camp, tiger scouts, anything extracurricular to keep him busy, gain independence, self esteem and give you time to yourself ? Also, do you have friends with whom you can trade nights- you watch their kids /vice versa ? I cannot remember how old he is- so forgive me if he is still too young for some of these.
Are there any Kids near his age in the neighborhood to play with ? Sometimes having that buddy of their own can make a world of difference.

I think Al Anon is worth a try, any support group, Parents without partners, divorce groups... I have so much faith that you can get through this, you have made it so far, keep an open mind, and ask for help , you will be surprised who is willing to lend a hand !

Take care and keep us posted ! Carly
__________________
Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
CarlyO is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 06-21-2010, 08:57 PM   #195
1418
Senior Member
 
Posts: 427
Default Tough on our son

Hi Everyone,

The alcohol continues to come before anything else, or anybody else. Yesterday (father's day) my son wanted us to come home early from out of town becuase he wanted to get home for fathers day - which I respect. We left early and arrived at home early enough for our son to give him his father's day present and to take his father out golfing.

I could tell when I dropped off our son that something was wrong, but he said he was okay, so I left and kept on texting him to check in. They went golfing and then to his father's softball game.

My son called me around 8:45 pm and said that his father was sippihg on a beer, but when his father went out in the field, he took the beer and poured some of it out and then hid the beer. I told our son that he didn't need to do that - that his father's drinking was not something we could control or influence.

Our son told me that his father didn't even say thank you for the gift, and that his father never thanked him for the golf game that our son paid for. It just makes my heart ache that his father continues to disappoint our son. Our son deserves so much better.

Next weekend our son is supposed to go out of town with a bunch of my former neighbors (his father's current neighbors). All of the kids (about 10 of them) all hand out together all week and everyone stays in a large cabin together. There are 4 families there, so many parents watching over the kids as well as a few of the "kids" are going to be juniors in high school next year.

I talked with my son this evening about the fact that his father will likely drink when they are at the cabin, and that I firmly believe he (our son) will be safe becuase of all the other parents, but that his father will likely disappoint him and drink. Our son told me that he still wants to go. I reminded him that I won't be able to get there right away (like I did at the softball game) to get him if he is unhappy. My parents will be about 2 hours away, so they could get my son if they need to.

My son should NOT have to deal wtih this shit at such a young age. His father is so unbelievable irresponsible... it makes me sick. I wish I could protect our son from being disappointed by his father.

Thank you for listening.
1418 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 06-21-2010, 09:31 PM   #196
Saint
Senior Member
 
Saint's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,364
Default

1418,

I'm sorry to hear of your son's disappointment towards his father. It shouldn't have to be that way, a relationship between a father and son. I think one of the best things you can do for him, your son, is to continue to show him there are different, better, happier, and healthier ways to live ones life, without alcohol.

Regards,
Saint
Saint is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 06-21-2010, 09:47 PM   #197
R. Lee
Senior Member
 
Posts: 4,984
Default

1418, An alcoholic's life is all about themselves. Me, me & some more of me. I'm sorry your son has to deal with this.
R. Lee is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 06-21-2010, 10:33 PM   #198
Wingsofwhimsy
Junior Member
 
Posts: 13
Default

Amen R. Lee. Every time I am surprised or caught off guard by yet another selfish thing, I have to remind myself to consider the source. Not pretty, but it's real.
Wingsofwhimsy is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 06-29-2010, 12:56 PM   #199
1418
Senior Member
 
Posts: 427
Default Update

Last night, I learned my ex has an OWI. I just went online and requested a copy of the police report.

You would think an overnight in detox, signing over full placement to me, and now an OWI would have an impact - right? WRONG. He hasn't hit bottom yet.

After consulting many sources that I value, I let my son go up north with his father as well as 5 other families that I know quite well. It is one week of fun, sun, fishing, etc. and they kids all stay together (think a herd of 15), and there are always watchful eyes on the kids. I also checked in with one of the Mom's and asked her to keep a special eye on Luke - which she said she would.

Last night, I received a call around 10:30/11:00 pm. My son was crying. He was feeling well (has the "runs") and his father was down at the bar (they were supposed to stay at the main house, but for whatever reason they are in a room at the resort - above the bar). My son didn't want to go downstairs to get his father, and was feeling abandoned (my words, not his), disappointed, scared, and homesick. He was also saying that he didn't want to disappoint his father or hurt his father's feelings. My son and I discussed it and decided that my parents would pick him up today. My parents are 2 hours away from the resort. Long story short, I kept my son on my cell phone and used the house phone to call the resort and tell my ex to get upstairs to check on our son, that he wasn't feeling well, etc. I stayed on the cell phone with my son until my ex got to the room. Then I told my son to put my ex on the phone. I told my ex that I was going to pick up our son, that our son wasn't feeling well, and that there was to be absolutely NO discussion about this what-so-ever.

I ended up calling my parents this morning and they were ready to go get my son - but my son called at 7:30 am and said that he was feeling better and was going to stay. His voice was shakey and I tried to determine if he really wanted to stay or not - he said that he did, so I told him that I respect his decision to try to stay and that he can call me on my cell day or night and I will be there for him.

I'm not going to confront my ex about the OWI right now. I want my son home and safe with me before I do that. HOWEVER - according to the information I found online - my ex's license was suspended for 7 months as of 4/23/10. BUT HE DROVE 5+ HOURS UP NORTH WITH MY SON IN THE CAR.

I need feedback on my plan, which is:
-get my son home/safe with me (which will be on Friday IF he ends up staying all week with his father).
-obtain the police report to get details on the arrest. I want to know time of day and figure out if my son was with him that day or not.
-confront my ex about the OWI
-Have full placement with me. My son will be able to see his father, but I will need to drop off my son and pick him up.

Thoughts?
1418 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 06-30-2010, 12:59 PM   #200
Saint
Senior Member
 
Saint's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,364
Default

Hi,

Do what you need too keep your son safe. I'm sorry your son has to deal with the fallout of his dad's behavior.

Stay well,
Saint
Saint is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off




All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:00 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
© 2014 Addiction Survivors